Compulsive Fascinations

by N. Isabelle Blanco

  She took my carry-on from me.

  I let her, eyes unfocused and locked on the floor beneath me. “I need to rent a room.”

  “Bullshit. You’re staying with me. Demi is, too.”

  That distracted me for a bit. “Why is Demi in your room?” I asked, knowing that the answer wouldn’t be a good one.

  Angelina’s sigh was all the incentive I needed to lift my damn head and stop staring at the floor.

  Her face turned even redder than before.

  My stomach dropped. “What the hell did Dorian do?”

  “It wasn’t him . . . well, nothing he did now.”

  “Tell me.”

  “His ex-lover sent Demitra a copy of a sex tape she and Dorian made together back when they’d still been fucking.”

  Fuck me, how was I supposed to deal with both my anger at Calum, and the urge to find Dorian and strangle him?

  A fucking sex tape?

  “Is he fucking stupid?” I hissed, my broken heart twisting in my chest as I imagined what Demi had to be going through.

  “Apparently, all men are.”

  Poor Demitra. Lord. She had to be so sick inside.

  If seeing Calum kiss his ex wrecked me, I could only imagine her pain after seeing Dorian fucking another woman on tape.

  My emotions were already destroyed by the time we got to Ang’s room and she opened the door.

  I was uber-sensitive, so fragile that I felt like a sandcastle facing an F-5 tornado.

  And then I locked eyes with Demi.

  She sat on the bed, head bowed. The sound of us entering caught her attention, and she raised her head to stare in our direction.

  Tears shone in her baby blue eyes.

  The sight of them gutted me.

  That tornado hit full force.

  Every grain of sand I consisted of got blown apart, the castle destroyed in the face of so much power.

  Her pain—those tears—the last straw for my already injured mind.

  My purse hit the floor.

  I was right behind it, my body losing its strength as I fully broke down.

  I cried all damned night.

  Sickening.

  Even worse, my breakdown monopolized the entire night. I calmed down for minutes at a time, long enough to have gotten the details of what exactly happened between Demitra and Dorian. That’s it.

  She had to have been going through so much of her own heartache, and yet she’d been there comforting me.

  Same as Ang.

  And Mikael, who’d I text shortly after breaking down in Angelina’s room.

  Both of them decided that it was time to plot murder, and the ideas bounced back and forth all night.

  Extreme, I won’t deny it, but I loved them for caring that much.

  Demitra finally answered her phone at some point around 3AM. Dorian wouldn’t stop calling or texting her.

  “I just need some time to deal with this, Dorian. No. I can’t do that with you,” she hissed into the phone. “All I can see is . . . and looking at you isn’t going to make it easier. Please, understand.”

  Of course, I didn’t hear what Dorian told her. I merely watched as Demi’s expression became more and more agonized.

  “I can’t promise you anything, Dorian. You don’t know how it felt to see that. How it still feels.” Another long pause. Tears started streaming out of Demi’s eyes. “Well, I’m not as strong as you are. Or maybe not as experienced. I can’t deal with it right now.”

  She’d hung up the phone on him shortly after and shut it off for the rest of the night.

  I’d left my phone on silent. When I looked at it, there’d been seventeen missed calls. All from Calum.

  The text and voicemail notification icons tempted me to check.

  My broken heart yearned to hear what he would say.

  Yeah, right. It wanted an excuse to return to him, to be his fool again.

  I took Demitra’s example and shut off my phone.

  Four hours later, I woke up from a short nap, my head laying in Mikael’s lap as he caressed my head.

  The sound of Angelina arguing with someone on the phone had awoken me.

  She was on the room’s landline, almost yelling into the receiver. “How’d you get this number? . . . you dirty, sneaky little bastard! Have you told your brother where we are?”

  I shot up, heart racing.

  “No, I’m not telling the girls anything. Do you see what your friends have done?” Ang snapped, shaking with fury on our behalf. “Don't give me that shit. Dorian is responsible because he had to be a little whore before Demi came along, and he's actually an innocent compared to you. They’re supposed to be the good ones, and you think I’m going to find it in me to give you a chance? You of all people? No . . . your friend and your brother can go to hell. And you, Lucas, can go fuck yourself for all I care. Just leave me alone.” She slammed the phone down on the receiver, panting.

  It was all so clear now. Lucas had obviously been after Angelina for quite a while now.

  And she’d been smart enough not to give in.

  She’d been the only smart one of us all, actually.

  “Calum really wants to see you, and he told Lucas that he’s going to use his connections to find out what room we’re in if you don’t agree to see him. Which doesn’t really matter, because Lucas obviously knows, and he can tell his brother right now if he feels like it,” Ang said, still facing away from us.

  I shook my head and pulled out my phone. I was supposed to head out on the same flight as Calum two days from now. Obviously, that was no longer going to happen. “I’m leaving on the first flight out of here.” I logged onto the airline’s website.

  “Book me one, too.”

  My head whirled in Demitra’s direction.

  “I want to go home,” she told me in a small voice, head bowed.

  Jesus, I didn’t blame the girl. Not after what she saw. Dorian hadn't cheated on her, but having a sex video of your man with his ex-lover sent to you via Dropbox still equaled a mindfuck of epic proportions. I wanted to kill him for that. Actually, I wanted to kill them all. Luke included for coming after my friend. He'd only hurt her in the end, which Ang clearly knew. “Okay.”

  “Book me one, too. I’m not staying here without you girls,” Angelina said.

  “Well, fuck it. Book me one as well, baby girl. Looks like we’re all leaving.” Mikael sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Schedule those flights and let’s get you out of here.”

  Eyes watering, I nodded and searched out the next departing flight back to New York. “There’s one leaving in two hours,” I told everyone in the room.

  “Book it.” Angelina headed toward her suitcase.

  Demi and Mikael nodded at me.

  “We have to leave before Neanderthal number one and Neanderthal number two decide to storm over here looking for you girls,” Mikael said.

  I shot off the bed.

  Demitra jumped up right behind me.

  Which told me she was as scared of coming face-to-face with Dorian as I was of seeing Calum.

  Just as in love.

  Just as weak.

  If either of us saw the man we loved, we’d end up giving into them. Believing their excuses.

  God, love turned women into utter fools. It really did.

  It took us thirty minutes to get ready and rush out of the room. My phone lit up with yet another call. I sent it straight to voicemail. It’d been a number I didn’t recognize; I still didn’t want to take the chance that it would be Calum.

  My gut told me it was.

  Three more calls came in as we rode the elevator down.

  “That’s Dorian’s number,” Demitra mumbled, staring at my screen.

  So he and Calum were together.

  I sent him to voicemail as well.

  The next time the phone lit up, Lucas’s name flashed on the screen.

  Angelina, standing next to me, reached over and hit the end call button.
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  The third call came in. Calum. Heart twisting inside me, I ended the call. “Mikael, do me a favor.” I handed him my phone. “Delete the entire text thread with Calum. Please.”

  He took my phone, scrolling through my text messages. “Livana . . . maybe you should read these.”

  “No.”

  He sighed. “Baby girl, are you su—”

  “Absolutely sure.” There were memories in that text thread. Months’ worth of conversations that I stupidly saved like a lovesick fool. Even when I’d been busy convincing myself that I was immune to love, that I couldn’t fall for Calum that way.

  They had to go. I didn’t need those memories while I struggled to move on with my life now that he would no longer be in it.

  I also didn’t need to read whatever he’d sent me last night. Or this morning. Or at any point, rather. My resolve had to remain strong.

  He’d broken me more than Corey ever had.

  Because I’d loved him in a way I’d never loved Corey.

  I hadn’t begun to deal with that. Couldn’t do so until I got home.

  It might take me years to return to some form of normalcy. I doubted I’d ever trust or love anyone ever again. Only time would tell, I guessed.

  That man would most certainly not be Calum. I didn’t trust those that betrayed me.

  So when Mikael kept staring at me, his brown eyes pleading with me, I scowled at him and demanded, “Do it.”

  He did.

  I took my phone back from him and sent Calum one last text.

  ‘Stop contacting me. It’s over. Move on with your life. I’m doing the same.’ - L.

  Then, my heart screaming at me, begging me to stop, I downloaded a number-blocking app.

  And blocked Calum’s number.

  The elevator doors slid open a split second after.

  I walked out, fighting back tears, desperate to board the plane home so I could return to my old life. The one where Calum hadn’t been in it and I’d been in complete control.

  .

  .

  .

  Unfortunately, things wouldn’t be that simple.

  Liv and Calum’s story will continue in Unmerciful Craving, the final installment in the Compulsions Series.

  Official first look into Unmerciful Craving, the final book in the Compulsions series!

  I made the worst mistake I’d could’ve ever made.

  I hesitated.

  For a few seconds of my life, I let doubt blind me, and I hesitated to do what was right.

  I lost my woman because of it.

  My woman. The only one I was ever going to want. I knew that now.

  I fucked up.

  Fear turned me into a coward; confusion and a lack of acceptance turned me into an idiot.

  That was over now.

  My path became clear in a single instant—the moment she walked out on me.

  I didn’t blame her for leaving. Really, I didn’t.

  But we weren’t over. Not by a long shot. We would never be over. Her eyes had told me last night what her mouth had refused to say.

  She loved me.

  Almost as much as I loved her.

  I say “almost” because it was true. She’d driven me to madness. Ripped everything from me that I’d once known.

  Now, nothing remained. Only what she’d created. The aching mess she thought she could leave behind.

  What I felt for Livana transcended love. It made a mockery of obsession. Insulted the term insanity.

  I didn’t have a name for what I felt for her, only the consequences of what it caused in me.

  Even if it cost me everything—and I do mean, everything—she would return to me.

  She didn’t have a choice.

  I couldn’t live without her.

  I refused to.

  A three-second mistake would not cost me my girl for the rest of our lives.

  I’d make her forgive me. Somehow.

  She didn’t know it yet, but one day, she’d be mine. In every sense of the word.

  One day, that woman would be my wife, even if I had to move entire continents to make it happen.

  I was going after her.

  Lord help her.

  “Calum, are you okay?” Lucas came into my line of sight, kneeling down to stare me in the eye. “You look . . . off.”

  I twirled the delicate diamond bracelet in my hand, wondering if Liv was even aware that she’d left it on the bathroom counter.

  I’d find her. Give it to her. Get on my knees. If that failed, I’d simply stare into her eyes and let her see what was happening inside me.

  Lucas could see it; surely Liv would too.

  My brother placed his hand on my shoulder. “Calum, you haven’t spoken in hours. Are you okay?”

  No, I wasn’t.

  But I would be.

  Soon.

  “We need to find what room the girls are in.” Dorian.

  Stressed. Furious.

  As out of it as I was.

  He’d lost his woman, too.

  I bet my voice would have sounded just like his had right then if I decided to speak.

  Lucas barely spared Dorian a glance.

  That concerned stare seemed so out of place on him. He’d never stared at me like that before.

  “Calum—”

  “Find. Them. Now.”

  He seemed taken aback at my command.

  Took way too damn long to heed it.

  Brushing him aside, I stood, my body cold. My movements slow.

  My mind calculating each step, my mission so damned clear.

  I’d broken my girl’s heart.

  I was going to fix it.

  First, I had to find her.

  And once I did . . . once I did, I would no longer hold back. I was going to give her everything. Let her finally see, in full fucking detail, what she’d done to me. How much she owned me.

  How my sanity barely hung by a thread since she walked into my life.

  Like I said: Lord help her.

  Other books by N. Isabelle Blanco

  Allure Series

  Destructively Alluring (Allure #1)

  Allure Magnified (Allure #2)

  Szolites Series

  Blood Flows Deep in the Empire (Szolites #1)

  Blood Stained Tranquility (Szolites #2)

  Retaliations Series

  A Debt Repaid (Retaliations #1)

  Project Sapphire Series

  The Exchange Part 1 (Project Sapphire #1)

  Teasers for all of N. Isabelle Blanco’s

  upcoming works are now up at

  www.houseofmalfunction.com & www.nisabelleblanco.com