by Wendy Silk
I had to hold on to the edge of the table to keep from fainting. He’d made it. That little boy had made it out of the hospital after all, and grown into this smart, competent man. Toby had lived through the car accident that my sister had caused. My sister Margaret hadn’t made it out of that car, and Toby and Grant’s parents hadn’t either. But Toby had, and he wasn’t even sure who I was yet. Grant was very sure, though.
The flurry of emotions in the pit of my stomach confirmed what I’d been thinking since last night. I was a crazy masochist to have agreed to come to this meeting. Kelly could have done it without me. It would surely have gone much better if I hadn’t come. But I couldn’t hide forever. Could I? I kept trying to convince myself that I could find a way to be myself here, living in the house where I’d grown up with my sister, but still not have to face the fact that the entire town knew who I was.
It was a lost cause.
As the meeting concluded, Grant took polite leave of us, shaking our hands, but avoiding making prolonged eye contact with me. He kept an eye on Toby as the younger man packed up his papers. “Thank you both for coming,” Grant said stiffly. “We’ll be in touch with you soon.”
Kelly and I walked down the corridor to the exit, feeling what I was sure were very different emotions. She turned to me and raised her eyebrows. “I think that went very well,” she whispered. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that our interview had been doomed from the beginning.
Just as I placed a hand on the door to push it outward, Toby came hurrying down the corridor after us. “Wait a minute, please!” It made me wince to notice that he limped when he walked. “Hold on,” he said as I stopped and faced him. Kelly looked expectant, but clueless. “You’re...you’re Cecily Summers, aren’t you?”
Back at the bar, I had always been teased for blushing at awkward moments. Right now, though, I felt that I must be as pale as a ghost. “Yes, Toby. Did you recognize me?” I could hardly form the words.
He surprised me with a friendly grin. When I saw that he was happy to see me, my world shifted on its axis. That wasn’t what I’d ever imagined would happen if I met one of the Bedloe boys again. “Yeah, I recognized you, Cecily. It’s been so long. Well, we both know how long it’s been.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
“Cecily, I’m glad you’re back. I know you stayed away a long time because of what happened. That’s all I wanted to say.” He gave me a kind smile, then turned back the way he’d come. The he stopped again. “No, wait...I wanted to ask. Do you still have the house with the pool? On that giant lot? I used to love to come over there with you two. Margaret thought that pool was the greatest.” He looked happy at the memory.
I was dumbfounded. We could talk about all that? “Yes, I’m back in my dad’s house. You know, he put that pool in as a special treat for Margaret, back before his first heart attack. She loved it so much that he refused to sell the house, even after he lost his law firm and things got so tight.”
Toby looked down at the navy blue rug. He’d seen the shine in my eyes. “I’ll go now. But I’ll say it again. I’m glad you’re back.”
I don’t know how I made it out to the car without the tears falling. By the time I’d safely closed the car door, they were rolling down my cheeks freely. Kelly was staring at me with concern.
“What just happened?” She looked like she was about to panic. Her eyes searched my face. “Um, Cecily?”
I used my sleeve to wipe the tears from my face, and succeeded only in smearing the salty wetness around. “Kelly, that’s my name. Not Cici. I’m Cecily Summers. That’s the real me. My sister was married to Grant. She used him and cheated on him. Then, twelve years ago, she crashed his car into a tree with Toby and Mr. and Mrs. Bedloe in it. Toby’s the only one who survived.”
Kelly’s mouth was hanging open. “So you didn’t want to come to the hotel today because it belongs to the Bedloes? You haven’t seen them since then?”
I nodded vigorously. “I don’t know why I thought I was ready to come back here. I miss my dad, and I miss my sister. But the whole town knows that Margaret was bad news, and I know they blame me for what happened.”
Kelly put her hand on my shoulder and gently rubbed it. “No, honey. Is that what all this has been about for you? Nobody is going to hold you responsible for what somebody else did. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“But I know some of it was my fault,” I sniffled.
“No, it wasn’t. It’s just the kind of thing that kids think. Look, let’s go home, and we’ll talk about it. You don’t need to feel like you have to hide this from me. It’s ok.”
As I started the car, I knew my hands were shaking, but I thought I could get a grip on myself with Kelly’s help. I leaned forward in my seat, trying to figure out which exit would be best from the parking lot. If we were going straight home, I’d take the south way and get there faster. I peered around the corner before turning the wheel. My eyes had clouded over with tears, and I wanted to be sure I could see before I moved forward.
And there, right in front of me, climbing a ladder, was a man I thought I’d never see again.
For the second time today. Or the third, if I counted both Toby and Grant. This day was too damned much.
“No, no, no.” I mumbled as I drove out of the parking lot. It would take more than those words, though, to erase from my mind the sight of Tim’s bright blue eyes as they looked right into mine from the top of the ladder.
Chapter 9: Tim
I was balancing on the rung of a yellow aluminum ladder, five feet up, as I secured a piece of flashing around the gutter system. That was one of the things I was learning about construction here in the Pacific Northwest: gutters and rain management were a lot different here than back home in Texas. It took all my time to stay on top of weather-related deterioration here. However, I reflected, I was pretty sure that there was no “back home” any more.
Home for me was this island now. Maybe I’d come here just because the berry picking crew brought me. But the truth was that I loved it. I was fitting in here with the hotel family and doing real work that I could be proud of. I even loved my little apartment over the corner store. It was small and spartan, but it had everything I needed. I finally had the chance to make my own luck and my own connections. There was no way I was going to blow it.
Just as I set my hammer back into my tool belt, I heard the sound of a car coming around the curve of the driveway. The car’s brakes were squealing in a way that concerned me. It didn’t sound dangerous yet, but that driver needed to get the car looked at before real trouble set in. All of these thoughts flashed through my head as I watched the car approach.
Then the real trouble did set in, at least for me.
I made eye contact with the driver, and I saw that she was the woman that I’d been thinking about for two years. That was her, I’d swear it. Cici had just those eyes, that hair, those cheekbones. She saw me, flinched, then drove away. No, there was no way that could have been her. We’d been halfway across the country when we’d met, and had just one night together. One night, and then the next morning, to be fair. The memory made me smile, as it always did.
No, I was having some kind of delusion based on my longing for what was really just a lost time in my life. Thinking of Cici had kept me sane through my stint in prison. I’d learned to daydream at will about what she was doing, or what it would be like to see her again. But when I got out, there was no way I could find the courage to look her up. I even took the bus out near the bar one night, and walked the rest of the way, thinking I could talk to her. But I chickened out, and never even made it to the front door. She would have better things going on in her life now, I knew I had to accept that reality.
And it was impossible that I’d come all the way out here, to an island in Washington, only to run into her again. The odds against that were astronomical. I was still shaking my head as I climbed down from my ladder and lugged it over to the work shed wh
ere it belonged. That was the last thing off my list before I checked in with Grant for our weekly meeting.
I entered the hotel through the service entrance, wiping my work boots carefully on the rubber mats. I never minded the fact that I wasn’t here as one of the fancy guests. A lot of them were older people from nearby cities on the west coast. They planned extravagant annual trips out here to watch the birds and the whales, and to stroll along the famous blue pebble beach for which the hotel and the town were both named. It looked like fun, but I didn’t want to be one of them.
It was more gratifying than I could fathom to be part of the hotel staff. I’d grown up with my mom trying her best, but with no man in the house that gave a damn about me. My stepfather had been bad news in every respect. For me, the opportunity to join this team, with a boss who knew I had a prison record and actually didn’t care, was like every Christmas and birthday I’d ever had, rolled into one.
As I approached the meeting room where I knew Grant would be expecting me, I could hear him talking to his brother. Their voices were raised as they debated something. That was the first time I’d ever heard them fight, but I understood. Even the closest of brothers (or as I best as I could understand it, friends) had arguments. I thought of how many arguments Aaron and I had gotten into over our years of being best friends, but I discarded the comparison almost immediately. Our friendship had ended with the drug bust. These brothers would be running their family business together forever.
Toby’s quiet voice drifted from the room. “Grant, I do know what I’m talking about. You think I can’t remember any of that time? She was my friend. She was your friend, too.”
“I’m not sure I can accept that.” Grant’s response was uncharacteristically steely. “You were a kid back then, before the accident. A ten-year-old doesn’t understand everything. But she was not that much younger than me and Margaret. She was in high school. I can’t forgive her as easily as you can. Too much happened.”
Toby sounded pained. “I know what happened, Grant. Don’t patronize me. Just check your heart for your humanity, ok?”
As I raised my hand to knock on the outside of the door, Toby left the room, brushing past me. “Sorry about that,” he said pleasantly as he limped away, down the hall.
Grant called for me to come in, and I settled down to give him my report about the hotel. Part of my probation was to prepare notes for him about any areas of the hotel and outbuildings that needed work, or conversely, had exceptional details already. He had made it clear that the job wasn’t going to fall into my lap. To deserve it, I’d have to show him what I knew, and what I was willing to learn on my own through observation. I was enjoying the task immensely.
It took the full two weeks, but I got the job. I earned it. When the promised Friday meeting arrived, Grant clapped me on the back and congratulated me.
“Tim, I can’t tell you how lucky I feel that I was on the loading dock that day when you came to deliver the berries. Just when I needed the help, you showed up, ready to work hard. I’m more glad to offer you this job than I can say.”
I beamed with pride as I accepted his invitation to meet him, Toby, and two other staff members for an informal drink at the little tavern in town. I shrugged off his offer of a ride, not wanting to be a guy who took more than I gave, however. “No, I’ll already be back in town by then, thanks. I’ll meet you guys there.” He nodded, his keen eyes showing that he understood. It wasn’t a long walk, really. I was happy to stretch my legs on the trip between my apartment to the hotel every morning and evening. Spending time in prison will do that to you.
The tavern was a dark but surprisingly clean place. We ended up staying for longer than I’d thought sharing beers and snacks with an easy friendship. I was still curious about the argument I’d overhead a while back between Toby and Grant, but I knew I’d never ask about it. So they had some stuff in their past. Everybody did; I should know that.
Near the end of our time there, as we were all finishing our last pints, an older man approached our table. He had a head of gray hair and leaned lightly on a cane.
“Grant, Toby; it’s good to see you boys out on the town,” he chuckled.
My boss smiled at him and answered easily. “Oh, you know us. We don’t get out of the hotel often enough. But today, we’re celebrating a new hire that I’m pretty pleased about. Mr. McCahon, I’d like you to meet Tim, our new maintenance man. He’s particularly interested in historic buildings, and he has a construction background that impresses the hell out of me.”
I ducked my head in embarrassment, but leaned forward to shake Mr. McCahon’s hand. He looked like a nice guy.
“Hey, now,” he said. “That’s a coincidence, because that is exactly what I was wanting to talk to you about. You know my wife Donna has got the whole front of our house turned into a daycare these days. It’s all she can think about since the kids left home.”
Toby grinned, and nudged Grant in the side with a laugh. “Yeah, Grant knows. He and Alice may be calling Donna up for some daycare soon, when the twins come.”
The mention of his wife’s pregnancy brought an expression to Grant’s face that made my heart twist with unwanted jealousy. I was happy for him, of course I was. How amazing would that be, to have babies on the way like that?
“Anyway,” Mr. McCahon continued with a chuckle. “We need the living room redone some. Donna’s got visions of a wall of cubbies, and some bookcases, and who knows what else. I wanted to ask if you could recommend somebody who could do that work for us.”
Grant cleared his throat and looked at me. I nodded. I couldn’t believe that an opportunity like this would fall into my lap. He spoke directly to the older man. “I’ll tell you what. I can’t spare Tim during the week, but if he can take this project on during the weekends, I will recommend him wholeheartedly for it.”
I found my voice and spoke up. “Sir, I would be very happy to come in and discuss it with you. Would tomorrow work? I’m excited to see what you and your wife have in mind.”
And just like that, I was a man with not just one job, but two. I was going to build things here at Blue Shore, and I was going to work my ass off doing it as well as I could.
We all said our goodnights, and the party broke up. As the Bedloes drove back to the hotel, I walked the few steps to my tiny apartment over the corner store. Usually, I took the simple staircase behind the building to let myself in to the upstairs unit. Today, though, I decided to stop into the store to look around.
I passed a display of frosted cookies in flower shapes. My mom used to love things like that. She would have made me cookies like those as part of our celebration tonight, I knew it. No matter how long she’d been gone, I still missed her. Tonight, though, nothing could make those memories feel anything but happy. I bought the cookies at the counter, feeling like she was there with me. Then, exhausted, I headed upstairs.
Chapter 10: Cici
Kelly and I had been waiting too long to hear from the Blue Shore Hotel about our application to cater there. We both knew it, but neither of us wanted to say it out loud. She was worried that I was blaming myself. I was a bundle of nerves, knowing that we needed the work, but that if we got it, I would have to go up to the hotel again and again.
The member of our household that was most relaxed, as usual, was Maggie. Her happy nature was a wonder to behold. Although I had worried about whether she would adjust to even one day at Donna’s daycare next door, she took to it like crazy. Some of the other little ones shed tears when they were dropped off, but Maggie always patted my face when I kissed her and signed “love” at me. Then she scampered off to play with the ball pit and the rolling toys.
It had still only been a few times that I’d left her there, but I was growing more confident that the daycare would be a workable solution for us in the future, when our business took off. If it took off.
Before Maggie was born, I’d been sure that it would be an easy matter to leave her in the care of somebo
dy else while Kelly and I worked to get Wildflower Catering off the ground. Everybody I knew from the bar who had a kid had used a babysitter, of course. It had never crossed my mind to wonder what life was like for the kids of those woman who waited tables with us late into every night. But then I started to research how it all worked. If you wanted your work to net you any money, you couldn’t pay too much for child care. And that meant that there were some sketchy places out there.
Before we’d left Texas, when I was still pregnant with Maggie, I’d toured some of the daycares in our little highway town, just trying to get a better understanding of what people expected from them. I’d been horrified by what I saw. The places that I could afford had too many kids in the care of two few adults. It was hard for me to understand how they could be in compliance with the law. Some of the employees were only barely qualified to be called adults, and I didn’t think it would be a sound idea to leave a hamster with them. I had shaken my head to Kelly as we talked it over. There was no way I could do it. I couldn’t leave my baby. Kelly was sympathetic, but she didn’t recoil from the idea in the same way I did. She promised me that the right place would come along, and that when it did, I would feel safe letting somebody else watch Maggie for brief periods.
When I looked at Maggie’s sweet, round face now, I realized that Kelly’s prediction had come true. My darling girl was in good hands over at Donna’s. She enjoyed it, and it allowed me the time that I needed to successfully work on the business.
Oh, Maggie. My eyes traced her the line of her downy pink cheek, loving the way her face brightened into a wide smile when she saw me looking at her. Those bright blue eyes under the long lashes. I knew perfectly well whose eyes those were.