Alejandro's Sexy Secret

by Amy Ruttan

  She nodded. “Yeah, I just need some air. It’s really crowded in here.”

  He nodded. “Okay, let’s get out of here and take a walk on the beach. It’s been an exciting day.”

  She was relieved that he understood her need to get out of the crowded club. She took his hand and let Alejandro lead her out of the overcrowded club. Her head was pounding because of the loud music, but it wasn’t that. Being with him like this, getting to know him was going to make it harder to walk away. She liked being with him, but they didn’t want the same things. There was no future for them.

  It ate away at her soul.

  They crossed the street, dodging the cars that were pretty much at a standstill because of people looking for parking and partygoers going from bar to bar.

  Once they were on the opposite side of the street it was a short walk over some small dunes and through some long grass to the beach. It was dark and overcast. There was a strong breeze blowing in from the ocean, but it was nice. They kicked off their shoes because sand was starting to fill them.

  Even though it was dark, the sand was soft and warm against her feet.

  It was exactly what she needed at that moment.

  “Looks like a storm is rolling in,” Alejandro remarked. “Or rather it feels like a storm is rolling in. I can’t tell since it’s dark.”

  Kiri glanced out over the water, but all she could see was darkness, though she understood what he meant. The air felt different. The wind was stronger, with a haunting whistle to it. And then there was a distant roll of thunder.

  “Maybe we should head for shelter?” she asked.

  “It’s still far off. We can walk on the beach back to home. Would you like that?”

  “Yes. It will be better than the crowded street.”

  They walked in silence, right down by the shoreline, letting the cold water wash over their toes. It felt so good. There was another flash of lightning, this time closer, and they stopped to watch it light up the sky in the distance. And then a bolt of thunder cracked across the sky over the ocean.

  “Beautiful,” Kiri murmured.

  “It is. I never tire of watching it.”

  “Have you ever watched a hurricane come in?” she asked.

  “Only when the whitecaps come rolling in. I’m smart enough to know that when a hurricane is coming you seek shelter. As one man said once, it’s not that the wind is blowing, it’s what the wind is throwing around that causes the most damage.”

  “Sound advice.”

  “Though I do understand the appeal of chasing a storm. The danger in it. I find them fascinating.”

  She stopped to look up at him. In the streetlights shining down onto the beach, and as the lightning flashed, she could see the wind rippling his white cotton shirt.

  “You like to live dangerously, then?”

  “No, but I like the idea of living dangerously. The only time I lived dangerously was when I came up to you in that bar five years ago.” He took a step closer and tilted her chin so she was looking at him. Her heart hammered against her chest and her body ignited in a thousand flames. He still had a physical effect on her.

  So much so that she lost all sense of control around him.

  And she didn’t like to lose control. She couldn’t lose control when it came to Alejandro. She’d learned the hard way what it was like to lose control around him. He cupped her face, strands of hair tickling her cheek, and no matter how much she wanted to fight it, how much her inside voice screamed that she should push him away, she just couldn’t.

  She closed her eyes and let him kiss her.

  His lips were gentle against hers, familiar, and so many emotions came bubbling to the surface. Anger, sadness and lust. It had been so long since she’d been kissed by a man she couldn’t remember when it had been.

  She’d only been on a couple of dates after she’d lost the baby, but now, with Alejandro’s arms wrapped around her, she couldn’t recall them.

  All she could remember was him.

  Everything else was forgotten as she melted in his arms. Kiri wanted to stay there. He made her feel safe, he made her feel alive again.

  What’re you doing?

  She pushed him away. “I can’t.”

  “I’m sorry, mi tesoro,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

  My treasure. Only she wasn’t his treasure and she resented the term of endearment.

  Kiri nodded as his words hit her with a cold dose of reality. “It’s okay, but please don’t call me that. I’m not your treasure. I never will be.”

  A strange look passed on his face. “Of course. I’m sorry.”

  “I’d like to go home now. I have some more meetings tomorrow that I have to prepare for. It was a long, emotional day. This was probably not wise. I should’ve just gone to bed.”

  “Of course. I’ll take you home.” There was no lingering by the beach this time. They walked the rest of the way in awkward silence along the beach until they got to their condo.

  They rode the elevator up to their floor in silence. She tried not to look at him. If she did, she might cry or do something she’d regret.

  And Alejandro walked her to her door only because his own door was across the hall from hers.

  “Kiri,” he said gently, those dark eyes of his making her melt, “I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

  “It’s okay.” She was trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her.

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I got carried away, but I want you to know that I don’t regret what happened between us. Not then, not now.”

  What he said made her pulse race.

  “I don’t regret what happened between us. Not then, not now.”

  Kiri didn’t regret it either, but she knew that if Alejandro knew what had happened he might regret ever having laid eyes on her. He might regret ever sleeping with her.

  The thing was, even after her loss she’d never regretted the choice she’d made. It had hurt, but she’d never regretted going with Alejandro that night. That night had been the most wonderful night in her whole adult life.

  No man had ever treated her like that before. Or since.

  So, no, she didn’t regret it either. She wished that she could have more, but there couldn’t be any more between them. She was technically his boss. She’d come here to prove herself, not to fall in love. She couldn’t fall in love with a man who didn’t want kids. Still, she wanted him to know. Wanted him to share it with her.

  He had the right to know.

  For so long that pain had been very hard to bear and she’d sworn to herself five years ago that she would never ever go through it again. Telling him would probably push him away for good.

  So it was better this way. He deserved to know.

  It was better to keep Alejandro at a distance. That kiss had been too dangerous.

  It was too dangerous for her heart.

  “Alejandro, five years ago, after our night together, I fell pregnant.”

  “I... What?” he asked, his eyes widening. “Pregnant?”

  “I lost the baby. I tried to find you but...” Tears streamed down her face. “I can’t ever go through that pain again. You deserve to know. I’m sorry. So sorry.”

  She didn’t give him a chance to respond because she began to cry harder. She had to get away from him. Kiri pulled out her keys, her hands shaking as she unlocked her door.

  “Kiri...”

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She slipped inside her apartment and shut her door quickly so she didn’t have to see the stunned expression on his face or the hurt. She didn’t want to talk about it because she couldn’t handle it right now.

  At least he knew now.

  At least now she could move on
without him, without the guilt of keeping the loss of their child a secret, because she was sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with her again.

  CHAPTER NINE

  SHE’D BEEN PREGNANT?

  The words sank in and he was still numb. Still in shock.

  Kiri had been pregnant?

  After standing in the hallway, feeling stunned, for a few moments he unlocked his own door and went into his apartment. It was so hard to walk away from her door when all he wanted to do was ask her how she’d lost the baby. He wanted to hold her, console her, because she’d faced that loss on her own.

  He hadn’t known.

  He’d almost been a father and that thought scared him. She’d also been the only one to ever get to him.

  He’d had a couple of other casual flings, but nothing compared to Kiri.

  And now the more he got to know her, the more he wanted her.

  Which was a dangerous thing. He needed to know her pain. He wanted to console her, process it, but at the core of all the rush of emotions swirling around inside him he wanted to make love to her again.

  To let her know in the only way he knew how that it was okay.

  He was okay.

  They could separately be okay.

  When they had been out on the dance floor together, his hands on her hips, all he’d been able to think about had been taking her, making her his. And he’d been very aware of the way other men had been looking at her and that had infuriated him.

  She was his.

  She’s not, though.

  And he had to keep reminding himself of that fact. When they’d been standing out on the beach, watching the storm roll in, it had reflected exactly what he’d been feeling in his very soul at that moment, watching her standing there, wisps of her silky black hair escaping and blowing across her face.

  The absolute peaceful smile on her face, but then the pain. He hadn’t wanted her to feel pain. He’d wanted to take it all away. It was all he’d been able to do not to carry her off.

  Alejandro had wanted her. Just like he’d wanted her back in Vegas. Nothing had changed, she was still the woman he desired above all.

  So he’d kissed her.

  And he’d sworn he could feel her melt into him. For one crazy moment he’d been lost and then she’d brought him screeching back to reality. She’d lost his baby. He couldn’t be with her because he didn’t want to hurt her. She deserved a man who could give her everything. Everything she wanted. Marriage, children. He couldn’t give her those things. He may have got her pregnant once before, but he couldn’t do that again.

  Though he’d been shot and injured, they’d told him his father had died because of a brain hemorrhage, but Alejandro was certain that the hemorrhage had been caused by the shock of seeing his wife and son fall first. His father had truly died of a broken heart and subconsciously given up the will to live. In the foggy recesses of his brain from that moment, he recalled his mother being shot first, of crumpling into his father’s arms while his father had screamed her name, and then he’d felt the sting of a bullet.

  Alejandro shook his head, trying to drown out the sounds of his father screaming. He rubbed his scar, which burned.

  He couldn’t imagine loving someone so deeply and then losing them. And he couldn’t do that to another person. It was too much to bear. Which was why he never opened his heart. Had never let another person in. Yet Kiri always seemed to find a way in. His walls weren’t safe when he was around her, which was why he had kissed her on the beach.

  Why he couldn’t resist her. He would never be able to resist her.

  She lost our baby. He had already caused her pain and hadn’t been there.

  And she had tasted so sweet.

  Outside the storm raged, just like a storm raged in his heart. Thunder rumbled and he leaned against his window in the darkness, staring out. He could see the once calm ocean was becoming choppy as the storm rolled onto shore.

  Go to her.

  And though he knew that he shouldn’t because of their positions at the hospital, he couldn’t help himself. He needed her. He turned and left his apartment and knocked on her door, his heart jackhammering, his blood on fire.

  She answered. Her hair was down and brushed out and she’d changed out of the dress into a nightgown. Her dark eyes were swollen and red from tears.

  “Alejandro?” she said, surprised to see him.

  He didn’t answer her; instead, he reached down and kissed her again. Possessively. He wanted to let her know that he wanted her. He would always want her, and even though she was not his to have, he would never not desire her. And he wanted her to forgive him for not being there when she’d needed him most.

  She was under his skin, burned into his memories.

  No one could live up to her.

  Though he could never have her, she was his.

  Kiri melted and kissed him back, her arms around his neck and her fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. He pushed his way into her apartment, almost expecting her to stop him again, but she didn’t. He closed the door with a swift backward kick.

  “I’m so sorry, Kiri, for your loss. For what you went through alone. I don’t know how to help you. How to make things better. I just know that I want you. More than that night in Vegas...”

  “Alejandro,” she whispered, laying her head against his chest. “What’re we doing?”

  “I don’t know.” He cupped her face and ran his thumbs down her cheeks. “I don’t know. I want you, but if you need more from me, if you need a promise of something more, I can’t give you that and I’ll leave. I just swore a long time ago that I wouldn’t ever...” He sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. “My heart transplant.”

  “You’re afraid it will fail?”

  He shook his head. “Yes, when I was ten I had the heart transplant because I was shot when my parents’ bodega in Little Heliconia was robbed. My mother died at the scene, but my father died during surgery to save his life. My life was hanging in the balance and since my father was brain-dead my brothers directed my father’s heart to me as we were a perfect match. I carry a piece of a man I admire greatly inside me. It’s a huge responsibility and it reminds me every day that I have to work hard to be the best doctor I can be. I can’t be selfish. I promised him that I would dedicate my life to medicine.” He was going to say more about how he didn’t know how much time he had left, how he’d never hurt her again, but he couldn’t.

  Her eyes filled with tears for the horror that he had endured at such a young age and her heart went out to him for the brave decisions he’d made since that dark time. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Alejandro. You went through a shocking and terrible ordeal—and at such a young age. I’m wowed that you’ve dedicated your life to saving others as you yourself were saved. Your parents would be filled with pride to see what you’ve achieved. It’s so admirable. I understand.”

  “It’s not a burden, it’s just how I’ve lived. I had to tell you, I just had to know if you still wanted me even though I can’t promise you anything beyond this.”

  She bit her lip. “I do want you and I don’t need a promise. You’ve made it clear about how you feel, but what about our jobs?”

  “No one has to know. We can just have tonight.”

  “I just need tonight,” she whispered. “To chase away the ghosts.”

  “Are you sure? You deserve more than I can give.”

  Kiri shook her head. “All I want is you. Right here. Right now.”

  A flash of lightning illuminated her apartment and he heard the rain splash against the glass of her windows. The storm had come and there was no turning back now. No stopping it now. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He set her down and then cursed under his breath.

  “
What?” she asked.

  “I don’t have protection. Seducing women is not something I do very often.”

  “I can’t get pregnant again,” she said sadly. “I’m unlikely to conceive. Added to that I have a hostile uterus, which makes the odds of carrying a baby low as well...I won’t get pregnant again. I refuse to, so I take birth control.”

  “Are you sure you want me to continue?”

  She nodded and then undid the buttons to his white shirt. “I want you, Alejandro. I’ve always wanted you.”

  The moment her hands pressed against his bare chest he lost it and he knew he had to have her. There was no going back and perhaps he was putting his heart at risk, but it was just for this moment. Another stolen moment.

  He kissed her again, running his hand down her back, cupping her bottom to pull her closer against him.

  “I’ve thought only about you for the last five years,” he whispered against her neck. “Only you.”

  “Me too.” A little moan of pleasure started in her throat as he kissed that spot on her neck that he remembered so well. Alejandro nearly lost his mind with desire. This was what he’d been dreaming about for so long.

  “If I’m not careful I’m liable to take you right here.”

  “Is that bad?” she teased, running her hands down his back.

  “Yes, I plan to take my time with you.”

  Alejandro pressed her against the mattress, running his hands over her body but pressing his body against her so he could feel her curves pressed against him. He reveled in the softness of her skin, her hair, as he kissed her again.

  “Touch me,” she whispered. “Please.”

  “With pleasure.” And he cupped her breasts, squeezing them, but that wasn’t good enough for him. He wanted to kiss every inch of her skin.

  Apparently it wasn’t enough for Kiri either because she pushed him away and took off her nightgown, baring her beautiful naked body to him. Her skin glowed in the darkness, the flashes of lightning illuminating her.

  With hurried fingers she helped him out of his clothes so that nothing was between them. She ran her hands over his skin, causing gooseflesh to break out over his body.