by Joy Elbel
I assumed he had to be joking but one look at his face told me he was being sincere. “Nothing…for a friend.” Was I being too bold in calling him a friend? After all, I only really met him earlier that afternoon. But for some reason, it felt like I’d known him longer than that. Considerably longer…. And if I called him a friend, maybe he would get the hint that that was all he was to me.
“It’s too much to ask. I can’t take something for nothing even from a friend.” He smiled as he said the word “friend”.
“Yes, you can, stupid. You need her help. Being a vet is your dream—don’t give it up because of dumb pride!” Rachel pleaded. “Ruby wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t really want to do it, would you, Ruby?”
“Absolutely not. You didn’t ask for payment for putting together the cat tree, did you?”
“That’s different because.…” He floundered for a good reason but came up with nothing. “The answer is no, not without paying you.”
“Fine. How about an exchange of services? What do you want him to do for you in return, Ruby?” I glanced at Zach, muscles taut as he tightened a screw. Bad thoughts entered my head. I couldn’t very well ask him for what I would really want from him.
Then I got a brilliant idea. “You could help teach me how to drive. I still need to get a learner’s permit but once I get it, you could help me with parallel parking and stuff. And trust me—it won’t be an easy task. More than sufficient payment for some tutoring.” And more time alone with Zach. What was I thinking? My brain knew I didn’t want to be with him any more than I had to but my mouth was being seriously insubordinate.
My proposition seemed to satisfy him. “Your boyfriend won’t get jealous, will he?” His words sounded sincere but the look on his face told a different story. He looked like he was hoping I would say yes, hoping I would say that meeting him was a threat to my relationship with Lee. But just what kind of relationship did I have with Lee now?
“No,” I answered firmly and Zach’s face fell. But was I really being truthful to him or to myself?
“It’s a deal then. I say you shake hands to make it official.” Rachel’s face lit up as she forced our hands together.
I placed my cold, clammy palm in his hand. He was warm and soft just like earlier. That familiar shiver ran through me as we touched, not as strong as before but still obviously present.
Suddenly, a scraping sound came from behind me quickly followed by a sharp and sudden pain in the back of my knee as something hurtled into me. A startled gasp escaped my throat. Thud. The tinkling sound of broken glass followed.
I turned to find a picture frame on the floor behind me, large chunks of glass lay in razor sharp slivers at my feet. Even face down, I knew what it was—the photo of Lee that only moments ago sat securely on the desk. He was here watching us. Watching me while I touched Zach. With trembling hands, I gingerly picked up the frame as a thousand tiny shards sprinkled down.
“Oh, Ruby! I’m so sorry! It must be my fault. I must have set it down on the edge or something when I put it back.” Rachel apologized endlessly for what I knew wasn’t her fault. But I couldn’t very well tell her that it was Lee, back from the grave for revenge because I felt something for her brother, something I never quite felt even for Lee.
Tucking my emotions deep inside, I pasted a smile on my face and pretended nothing was wrong. “It’s okay, Rachel. It was a cheap frame anyway. I must have a dozen more just like it around here somewhere. Don’t worry about it.” My voice wavered ever so slightly. I was so close to breaking down in tears but I couldn’t. Not until later, not until I was alone.
“At least let me help you clean it up.” Rachel sprang from her chair and began to push the pieces of glass into a small pile with an index card she’d found on my desk. “Where can I find a broom and dustpan?”
“In the bathroom closet,” I said, pointing in the general direction. “Through the bedroom and to your right.” Rachel nodded and disappeared into my room.
“Zach, can you hand me that garbage can?” I opened the back of the frame to retrieve the photo. It was my favorite photo of Lee and I was determined to save it. I opened up the back of the frame and pushed it carefully through from the front but not quite carefully enough. A sliver of glass on the edge sliced cleanly through my finger. Heat and pain rushed through me instantly, making me want to cry even more than I already did.
With blood flowing freely down my finger, I ran toward the bathroom to clean up and nearly collided with Rachel in the doorway. She took one look at me and her face turned white.
“Oh God. I can’t stand the sight of blood. Zach, you have to help her!” she called out. “If I have to look at it, I’m going to pass out.” She steadied herself against the sink, closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.
Seconds later, Zach appeared at the bathroom door with handfuls of paper towels. “Rachel, get out of the bathroom. Go clean up the glass—I’ll clean up Ruby. Just don’t cut yourself, too.”
Rachel wasted no time getting away from me. Zach, however, wasted no time getting closer to me. He guided me into the bathroom and instructed me to sit on the toilet so he could bandage my finger. The blood was rolling out in thick, dark droplets now. Grasping my wrist in one hand, he held the paper towels over the wound to stop the bleeding.
He looked into my eyes. “Are you okay? Blood doesn’t make you sick, too, does it?” His voice was softer than usual and true concern showed in his beautiful blue eyes.
“I’m fine. It’s just a small cut.” I was lying through my teeth. The pain was excruciating. The paper towels were soaked in crimson and I could barely hold back the tears. But pain or no pain, I had a strict rule against crying in front of anyone so I bit down hard on my lip instead until it hurt, too.
“You’re a lot stronger than my sister. She would be screaming her head off right about now.” His voice was soothing, like warm cappuccino on a cold day. “I like that about you.” As he knelt on the floor in front of me, I suddenly found myself wanting to kiss him. I leaned forward slightly and he mirrored my movement, closing his eyes as he got closer.
With our lips barely apart, the trance was broken when my father’s voice sounded from the doorway. “Shelly told me you had visitors so I thought I would come and say hello. Looks like I was just in time.”
Yeah, just in time to ruin what could have been the best kiss of my life. We jerked apart simultaneously. In all the time I was with Lee, we were never caught in a compromising situation. Never. One almost-kiss with Zach and I was busted. But humiliation aside, the biggest part of me was actually thankful that Dad walked in when he did. I shouldn’t have wanted to kiss Zach in the first place and I would make certain to control myself in the future.
Dad barged in without even seeming to notice that I was about to kiss a stranger while sitting on my own toilet. Instead, he reached for my hand and pulled the towels back. The bleeding had stopped.
“That’s some cut, honey. It doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches, though—a butterfly bandage should do the trick. Good work on stopping that bleeding young man.” Dad gave Zach a pat on the back and a big smile.
“Thanks, Dr. Matthews. I’m Zach Mason.” He reached out for a handshake.
Dad gripped his extended hand firmly. “No need to be so formal—you can call me Jason. I’m glad you were here to help, Zach. Ruby needs a friend like you.”
Way to go Dad—make me sound pathetic and miserable in front of a Norse god. He was right of course—I was pathetic and miserable. But I certainly didn’t want Zach to know that.
“Don’t worry. I know how special she is—I’ll look out for her,” Zach replied, tossing me a quick wink where my dad couldn’t see. In that moment, I realized he wasn’t just flirting with me—he meant every word that he said. Too bad that the one thing that could really hurt me was only hurting me because of how I felt about him. Things…were about to get complicated.
7. In a Flash Before Your Eyes
After nearly amputating my index finger on the broken frame, the party atmosphere seriously diminished. Zach quickly assembled the last few pieces as Rachel and I finished cleaning up the mess. Dad hung around, too, after he realized he went to high school with their parents, Garrett and Diane. Why did Dad get such a kick out of talking about the past? I would never understand that man.
As I walked them out, Rachel proudly announced, “See you in two weeks!”
I was confused. “What do you mean, two weeks? I thought we were working at the shelter every day?”
Rachel got a ‘whoops, I forgot to tell you something’ look on her face. “I thought I told you earlier. I had to pick up some extra hours at the Chicken Shack this week and next. One of the morning girls fell and broke her leg so I have to cover some of her hours on top of my own. I wish I didn’t have to—trust me, I’d much rather be at the shelter with you and Zach. But I just couldn’t say no—I need the money. Sorry, Ruby.”
“No, I understand. So….” I faltered, not sure how to say it. Was Zach picking me up then? Alone? Or did I need to get Shelly to drive me? Ugghh! I really needed my license and my own car!
“Yeah, you’re stuck with me for the next two weeks,” Zach said as though being alone with him would be an unpleasant experience for me. “I can pick you up around ten. Unless you would rather have your dad or stepmom take you….” His foot tapped out a quick rhythm against the floor beneath him.
He seemed nervous but I couldn’t figure out why. Was he weirded out by the almost-kiss? Maybe I was wrong—maybe he wasn’t trying to kiss me at all and I just made myself look like a royal idiot! Was he hoping I declined his offer and hopped a ride with Shelly instead? How frustrating! I was so used to him being cool and in control that I didn’t know what to think of his strange behavior. Just when I thought I had him figured out, he did something to totally throw me. And boys say that girls are impossible to understand.
But there was no time to try to figure him out, he wanted an answer now. So I spit out the first thing that popped into my head. “No, that’s fine. I’ll see you at ten.” I closed the door behind them as they left. I went to bed confused about Zach and terrified at the prospect of seeing Lee.
I had a plan and it had to work. I thought about what I would say to him as I turned back the covers and got into bed. Mimi took her usual spot by my side, curled up, and went to sleep. Coco snuggled into the pillow and rested her tiny head on my neck. While they couldn’t actually help me, they made me feel like I wasn’t completely alone, like I at least had some form of backup. I was ready.
“Lee,” I said, “I know that you can hear me. I want you to know that I love you and I always will. But maybe it’s time for me to go on with my life. I know it’s not fair that you died and I didn’t—I know that it was my fault. If I could go back and change things, I would. I would switch places with you in a heartbeat.” I was surprised at the calmness in my voice, proud of the fact that I was fixing the situation all by myself. “But I can’t.”
“I need you to understand that things have changed and they’ll never go back to the way they were before. You need to stop punishing me.” My emotions were starting to take over. “I want to be normal and I have a real shot at being that here in Charlotte’s Grove. You have to let me try.” A single thick droplet spilled out of my left eye and rolled down my cheek and I didn’t even bother to wipe it away.
I don’t know what I expected to happen but nothing is what I got. No noises other than Mimi’s snores and Coco’s purrs. Nothing moved—nothing at all. If it didn’t work, I would have a sign, wouldn’t I? Life was strange. A year ago I would have given anything to have Lee back in my life. Now all I wanted was to get rid of him. I wasn’t ready for another relationship, but I also didn’t want to be tortured for just thinking about one. I closed my eyes, satisfied that my plan worked.
The dream came again. I was on the same dirt path as before, in the same red dress, running toward the same stone building in the woods. This time the sickeningly sweet scent of decaying roses burnt into my nostrils. There was a shadow darting in and out of the trees, watching. Ripples of fear cascaded through me. How did I get here? How could I ever make it to somewhere safe when I didn’t even know where safe was anymore? All I could do was run, so I ran as fast as I could until an overwhelming wave of claustrophobia struck. There was a thickness in the air that threatened to choke me, so thick that I could feel it touching me with dark, unclean hands. My breathing came shallow and ragged but I was afraid of what would happen to me if I stopped running.
The sky turned dark, angry clouds opened up and it began to rain. Slowly at first, one heavy drop at a time. But water was pure, it was cleansing—surely it would drive back the sinister force that was stalking me from a distance. The rain gave me the courage to stop running. I lifted my face to the sky and extended my arms, ready to be bathed in the purity. Several droplets oozed down over my face and I opened my eyes. Something was dreadfully wrong. It wasn’t rain showering me—it was blood, falling faster and faster from the sky. A torrent of crimson now saturated my dress and my hair. The thick fluid ran into my mouth slicing a metallic taste across my tongue. I covered my mouth with my hand but it poured into the cracks around my fingers, choking me by the mouthful. I dropped to my knees broken and defeated. This was how I would die. A flash of silver slashed between the clouds and suddenly I was awake.
I opened my eyes, relieved to be safe and in my bed. But once I awakened fully, I realized I was only half right. There was someone in my room. Something in my room. I can’t explain how I knew this, I simply felt it. I was as good as blind in the darkness which somehow seemed blacker than normal, like I was sealed in a tomb where no light could penetrate. There was no sound but that of my own breathing. It had to be nearly seventy degrees outside but the room was ice cold. A static charge hung ominously in the air, like the kind you feel just before lightning strikes. Something bad was about to happen. Something bad was about to happen…to me.
Common sense told me to reach out and turn on the light but fear paralyzed me. It had to be my imagination. No one could possibly be in my room, could they? I already knew the answer to that question—no one alive. Terrified, my skin prickled from the combination of coldness and fear. I had to do something but I had no clue what. Maybe if I continued to lay there silent and unmoving, it would go away. Frankly, I was too afraid to do anything else.
I lay there listening to the sound of my own breathing, fast and shallow in my chest. Seconds felt like hours, minutes like days as I waited for it to make a move. But it remained there, silent in the shadows and I feared that it wanted me to make the first move. I tried to hold out but the wait was maddening and I couldn’t play the game any longer. It was time to act.
“Lee, is that you?” I cried out into the darkness.
Finally, a noise. Something was moving in the darkness. The sound was soft, barely audible at first like the sound of autumn leaves rustling in the breeze. It started at the foot of my bed, moving slowly and deliberately toward me. The sound grew louder as it edged its way forward, a slow methodical movement coming closer and closer to me.
I cried out again, “Lee!”
The sound grew louder still, the movement quicker. It was right beside me now. I could feel the chill growing colder. Tears welled up in my eyes, tears of sheer terror. What did it want? I’d never felt so alone in my entire life. Helpless and scared, I sobbed desperately.
Soon I came to realize that my fear was feeding it. The more frightened I became, the faster it seemed to move. It circled the bed all the way around. It flew behind my head then swooped back around, gaining speed as it went. I was dizzy with fear, like being on a broken carousel that goes faster and faster the louder you scream. It swirled so swiftly that it soon appeared to be in a hundred different places at the same time. Even if I had the courage to run, there was no escape now. It was everywhere.
“Please, stop!” I finally found my voice so I screamed and
I kept screaming, “STOP, STOP, STOP….” Over and over, I couldn’t stop shrieking into the blackness.
I was staring straight at the ceiling when the light came on, blinding me until I found the strength to turn away. Dad and Shelly were standing over me. I twisted my head wildly around the room looking for any shred of paranormal evidence to confirm what just happened to me. Nothing.
“Ruby, what’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong!” My dad shouted at me in a panicked tone. “Tell me what’s wrong!” Shelly sat down on the bed beside me and took my hand in hers.
“Jason! She’s as cold as ice!” Shelly bundled the comforter around me tightly but nothing could take away the chill I felt inside.
“Ruby, tell me what happened!” Dad begged me.
Now that I’d started to calm down, I asked myself the same question. What just happened here? How could Lee be mad enough to torment me with such brutal cruelty? Dad and Shelly looked to me for answers I didn’t have.
“I had a nightmare. I…I was being chased by a bear.” My throat ached from screaming, my words barely above a whisper. I lied because it was easier. How could I explain something to them that I didn’t even understand myself? “It felt so real that I woke up screaming,” I murmured.
“But that doesn’t explain why she’s so cold does it Jason?” Shelly looked to my dad for an explanation.
“I don’t know,” he said with doubt. “It could, I guess. The brain can do strange things when you’re asleep. If that’s what Ruby says happened, I guess that’s what happened.” Shelly didn’t seem convinced and frankly, neither did my Dad. Shelly began to question his explanation but stopped mid-sentence and dropped the subject. She looked as terrified as I felt.
After many protests that I did not need them to stay with me nor did I want to go downstairs with them, they tucked me back into bed with Mimi and Coco. They left the light on in the living room and closed the door behind them. I cuddled the cats close to me and they soon went back to sleep. I, however, turned my lamp on and lay there with eyes wide open until the alarm clock sounded five hours later.