[Vankara Saga 03.0] War of Atonement
Page 8
“I can be discreet,” Aurora replied, sounding somewhat offended by my question. “You and I will always have to share in experiences, Sarah. There isn’t anything I can do about that, but I will not interrupt your mating ritual with Fallon, if that is your concern. You have my solemn oath.”
Aurora’s promise didn’t do much to ease my concern, but as she said, there really wasn’t anything either of us could do about the connection we shared. The mere thought of being intimate with Fallon made my cheeks grow warm.
“And what did the two of you just say to each other to make you blush so profusely?”
“Nothing that you need to know,” I assured him, unwilling to say more.
“Then I suppose I should leave so you can bathe.” Fallon leaned in and kissed one of my very warm cheeks. “Enjoy your bath and take your time. There’s no rush.”
After Fallon walked out of the room and shut the door, I shrugged my coat off, causing the book tucked into the waistband of my pants to drop to the floor behind me. I turned around and picked up Kira’s journal. I wasn’t sure why I kept it hidden from the others. I supposed it was because somewhere deep down, I knew that the words inside its pages were meant only for me to read. Kira wanted me to know more about her, and this was the only way such a miracle could happen. Most of the memories of my first life were forever lost to me. Only the words she had written down in the pages of her diary could tell me what I needed to know. Or … did I need to know them? I could go on with the life I had chosen without having to delve into Kira’s past, but in a way, that seemed disrespectful to her sacrifice. I didn’t truly feel like she was a part of me anymore, but I did want to honor her memory. The only reason I had my life was because she had given up her own.
I disrobed and grabbed the journal before stepping into the bathtub. The water was just the right temperature for a much needed, relaxing soak. I looked down at my arms, seeing that they were in fact completely healed from the injuries I had sustained during my abduction in Kamora.
I rested my head against the back of the tub and opened the journal to the second entry Kira had made.
I never knew life could be filled with so much joy! I know I must sound like an adolescent ninny, but maybe love is supposed to make you lose all reason. I would do anything in the world for Jacob, and I know he feels the same way about me.
How is it that two souls separated by such a great distance all their lives can find one another by chance and bind the rift inside their hearts to become one? I have no way of knowing how such a miracle came about, but I am truly grateful to whatever higher power there is that we found one another.
Today, Jacob and I told my father that we are in love and want to marry. My father didn’t say anything for a long time, and I worried he wouldn’t give us his consent to wed. Thankfully, he said he was happy for us and wished us a long and happy life together.
One thing bothers me though. I saw a look of fear pass across my father’s features, as if he thought our union was something that shouldn’t take place. He told us what we wanted him to say, yet, my heart tells me that he doesn’t completely approve of our marrying. I don’t know what he fears, and I’m not sure he would tell me even if I asked. He’s always been so careful to keep me protected from the outside world, and I don’t know the reason why. I may never know. …
I closed Kira’s journal, thinking about her entry.
“Dracen must have been worried that marriage to Jacob might awaken Kira’s powers,” I told Aurora.
“It is a logical assumption,” she agreed as she floated in the water in front of me. “It seems as though marriage can be a difficult undertaking for humans.”
“I suppose it can be for some,” I said. “The Harkers never had a harsh word to say to one another, so I know it can be a happy experience too. Though, the Pews fought like cats and dogs quite often.”
“I’m sure your marriage to Fallon will be more like the Harkers,” Aurora said reassuringly.
I let out a small laugh. “You sound as though we’re destined to be married.”
“Don’t you think that way?”
“Right now, I simply want to make it through the next day and the next. I can’t really make myself think too far into the future, and marrying Fallon wouldn’t be possible for quite some time.”
“Nonsense,” Aurora said, lifting her head a notch higher. “You could marry him at any time of your choosing, Sarah. You’re the Queen of Vankara. Who is there to tell you that you can’t do what your heart most desires?”
“Parliament, for one,” I said. “I have a feeling if I married Fallon without their approval, they would use it against me. Plus, Aleksander might withdraw his troops if he believes there isn’t a chance I will accept his proposal of marriage. In fact, parliament might even force me to marry Aleksander just to keep him as an ally in case Nuala ever decides to attack us again.”
“I will not allow that to happen,” Aurora said with vehement conviction. “I will burn the Halls of Parliament down before I allow them to bully you into a marriage with that man.”
“I’m sure it won’t come to that,” I said, feeling Aurora’s rising anger at my suggestion. “We’ll figure things out, but right now, I don’t need to antagonize the allies I have. I need to keep them by my side until this war is over and we have our country back.”
Aurora sighed. “As you wish, Sarah. But know that I will do what I said if it comes to such a drastic measure.”
I extended my hand to stroke the top of Aurora’s head. She closed her eyes and looked contented by my loving attention.
“As long as we have each other,” I told her, “nothing can get in our way. It will all work out like it should in the end.”
“Yes, it will,” Aurora agreed before opening her eyes and looking at me. “One way or another, Sarah.”
Aurora’s tone sounded almost ominous, but I knew she only wanted what was best for me. The future would unfold the way it was supposed to, and I had to keep my faith that it would work out in my favor.
CHAPTER EIGHT
After bathing and dressing in fresh garments, Aurora and I walked back into the sitting room. Dracen and Fallon had apparently been busy setting up the coffee table in the cabin with snacks for us to enjoy. Among the items laid out were two types of sliced cheeses, ham, roast beef, bread, and an array of fruit, including ripe strawberries, grapes, and apples.
“How were you able to keep all this food fresh inside your home?” I asked Dracen, as I came to stand between the couch and coffee table where our meal lay. He had been away from Ledmarrow for quite some time. Even the best cold box wouldn’t have kept the food from spoiling.
“It’s a simple enough spell,” Dracen said nonchalantly. “Even a novice sorcerer can cast it.”
“Even me?” I inquired, curious to know what type of magic I could perform.
“Yes,” Dracen answered with a smile, “even you, with the right guidance.”
“Show me,” I said, eager to test my new abilities.
“Well,” Dracen began, “the first thing you need to learn about casting spells is that each spell has a word or a series of words to enact a specific sequence of events. For instance,” Dracen picked up one of the two red apples from the fruit basket, “if I wanted this apple to stay fresh indefinitely, I would say ‘habitus,’ which means ‘stasis.’ ”
“Is that all?” I asked, finding this far too easy. “Just say the word?”
“Well,” Dracen hedged, “I wouldn’t say that was all. You can’t just say the word and expect what you want to happen to just happen. You need to focus and tap into the core of magic inside you.”
“How do I do that?”
“It’s slightly different for everyone, unfortunately. You will need to find the way that best works for you. I can’t give you specific instruction on how to do it. It will just take some practice.”
“And how will I know if I’ve cast the spell correctly?”
“For this particu
lar enchantment, the apple should briefly glow green. If you can make it do that, then you’ve successfully cast your first spell.”
“You can do it, Sarah,” Aurora said encouragingly. “I know you can.”
“But how do I tap into my ‘magical core’?” I asked her, finding the concept a bit ridiculous, even though I knew it must be real.
“Think back to when Vincent was being tortured,” Aurora suggested. “You felt something deep down inside you break open. That has to be where your magic is stored.”
I did remember feeling a burst of energy when I drew from the magic inside me for the first time. Nevertheless, how was I supposed to reach for it again without my anger pushing me to use it? Perhaps if I thought about something that made me angry, I could use it to tap into the magic I contained.
One infinite source of anger for me was Nuala. I thought about how she would have killed Dena if she had been given the chance. Thankfully, Adam saved my daughter from her clutches when Nuala first invaded the castle in Iron City. That fact added with the callous way Nuala exploited her dragons to strike fear in the populace—sometimes even allowing them to eat citizens in front of crowds of onlookers—swiftly brought my anger to the surface.
After becoming friends with Vincent, I knew dragons were intelligent, thoughtful creatures with honorable souls. I wasn’t sure what Nuala and Tyr had done to the dragons under their command to twist their psyches enough to become murderers, but by whatever spell or maybe even potion, it made me wonder if Aurora’s mother had become victim to it.
“Do you really think so?” Aurora asked, aware of my wandering thoughts. “Do you think she was cursed or poisoned?”
“It makes sense,” I said. “Obviously from what the dragons on the council told us, your mother wasn’t the type to attack humans without provocation. She was trying to heal the rift between the two dragon factions. I can’t think of any other way her attitude could have been altered so drastically in such a short amount of time. Can you?”
“Now that you mention it, no I can’t.”
I returned my attention back to the apple Dracen was still holding up in his right hand. I delved down to the place where my anger for Nuala festered and focused those feelings on the apple before saying, “Habitus.”
We all watched as the apple began to glow green. I started to smile at my success until the apple began to glow so brightly, I had lift a hand to shield my eyes from its glare. I heard a loud pop and quickly lowered my hand to see what had happened.
Dracen stood before me covered in what looked like applesauce.
I stared at him.
He stared at me.
Then, we both began to laugh.
Once I caught my breath, I said, “I think we can chalk up my first attempt at a spell as a failure of epic proportions.”
Dracen licked off the applesauce on his lips and smacked his mouth as he tasted it.
“I don’t know,” he said musingly, “it is rather tasty. You know, if this whole queen thing doesn’t pan out for you, you could always open up your own business and produce magically prepared applesauce. You could call it The Exploding Apple Company.”
I giggled at the concept. “I’ll keep that in mind if, as you said, this queen thing doesn’t work out for me.”
My head tilted of its own accord as I studied Dracen. “I sincerely hope you brought a new set of clothes with you.”
“Well, I’m not a complete barbarian,” Dracen said in mock offense. “I do happen to own more than one pair of clothes. If the two of you will excuse me, I think I will take advantage of the lavatory.”
Dracen grabbed his brown leather satchel from the side of his chair and made his way to the bathroom to freshen up.
After he was gone, Fallon said, “I could almost see it then.”
I looked over at him in confusion. “See what exactly?”
“The father-daughter connection between the two of you,” Fallon clarified. “Didn’t you feel it?”
I sat down beside Fallon on the couch, thinking over what he said.
“I suppose so,” I replied, not exactly sure what I felt for Dracen. “I only have a few memories of him from my life as Kira, but he was always loving in the ones Vincent helped me recover.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it is for him to be around you now that you know he’s your real father. I can see him struggling to keep his distance so you don’t become overwhelmed by his feelings for his daughter.”
“Yes,” I agreed, realizing how true Fallon’s words were. “It must be very hard for him to be around me.”
“I believe he is happy regardless of the situation, Sarah,” Aurora said, using her gift as a blue dragon to observe Dracen’s emotional state. “I think he understands that it’s important for you to separate your old life from your new one. He only wants you to find happiness.”
“I’m trying to,” I told Aurora, unable to stop myself from looking over at Fallon. “I think I can live a happy life with John. I just don’t know how far in the future that dream will have to wait.”
“Well, if my opinion matters any, I think you should marry him as soon as the war is over. I understand that you have to fight for your people, but you should also fight for yourself, Sarah. If you are happy, your people will also be happy.”
“Have you thought about us getting married?” I asked Fallon pointblank.
Fallon almost choked on the strawberry in his mouth after I asked my question. He quickly swallowed it and took a sip of water from his cup.
“Sorry,” he apologized to me. “Your question caught me off guard.”
“Why?” I asked. “Is it something you haven’t considered before now?”
“Of course I’ve thought about it, Sarah,” Fallon said. “But I thought we would wait until after the war to have a serious discussion about it.”
“I would rather know now whether or not you see a future for us,” I told him. “If I’m going to fight parliament to make you my husband, I want to start laying the ground work for such a union now so the struggle isn’t as hard once things get back to normal.”
“Oh,” Fallon said, considering my words carefully, “you know, I hadn’t actually thought of that. I suppose it would be better if we slowly gained the cooperation of some members of parliament. I’m sure they’ll want to vote on it. They may even have to make a new law that allows royalty to marry commoners.”
“You are anything but common,” I told Fallon, stretching out my arm and giving him my hand. “And once we win this war, I believe every member of parliament will see what a great leader you are. They won’t be able to argue that you’re not qualified to stand by my side as King of Vankara.”
“I’m not sure they will allow that,” Fallon said in all seriousness. “I think the best we can hope for is consort of the Queen. And … I don’t need a title, Sarah, just you.”
“I see why you love him,” Aurora swooned. “He is just the kind of man you need, Sarah. He will always put your needs first.”
“Then it’s settled,” I told Fallon. “We’ll marry as soon as the war is over.”
Fallon chuckled. “So … did you just propose marriage to me?”
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
Fallon shook his head with a grin on his face. “No. It’s not a problem at all, Sarah.” Yet, I watched as Fallon’s smile slipped not only from his lips, but also from his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “What just entered into that logical brain of yours?”
“I would love to say yes to your proposal, but I think we should wait. At least until after you speak with Gabriel about everything.”
I’m sure my face looked puzzled because my mind certainly was. “What does Gabriel have to do with us?”
Fallon sighed heavily, an indication that he didn’t want to voice his thoughts but knew he must. “There’s no way of knowing exactly what you’ll feel for him after everything is out in the open. What if the feelings you had for him when you were
Kira return? What if he asks you to give him a second chance to prove himself to you? What if—”
“Stop,” I said, cutting him off abruptly, raising my right hand up to physically halt the flow of his next words. “You’re just speculating, John. Besides, do you think my feelings are so fickle? Don’t you believe me when I say I love you?”
“I believe you do … now,” Fallon replied with a wane smile. “But you’ve awoken what remains of Kira inside you. Can you honestly tell me that what’s left of her won’t react when you’re with Gabriel again?”
I sat silently for a moment seriously considering Fallon’s words.
“I guess I can’t,” I replied truthfully. “But only because I can’t see into the future. Just like I told Dracen, I only see Gabriel as the friend he has always been to me.”
“But will he still see you as Sarah, or will he begin to see you as the wife he thought he lost?”
I shrugged. “How should I know how he will react?”
“Exactly,” Fallon said, reaching out to take one of my hands with one of his to hold it gently. “You don’t really know how either of you will react to one another. We have plenty of time to decide what the future holds for us. After we face the challenges ahead, let’s revisit talk of marriage … if you still want me by that time.”
“I will,” I said, squeezing his hand fiercely tight. “I have no doubt in that, John.”
“Then let’s talk about it again after things have settled down,” Fallon said, trying unsuccessfully to give me a reassuring smile.
“Why does he doubt me?” I asked Aurora.
“I don’t think it’s your feelings for him he doubts, Sarah,” Aurora tried to reassure me. “He simply wants to make sure that when the two of you truly come together that there aren’t any doubts in your mind about where your heart truly lies. I don’t believe a man such as Fallon wants to win your heart by default. He wants to know that you love him and only him. All he’s asking for is some time for you to search out your feelings. I think he’s trying his best to look out for your best interest. He doesn’t want you to pledge yourself to him when it’s entirely possible that the man who used to be your husband will win your heart back.”