[Vankara Saga 03.0] War of Atonement

by SJ West

  I walked over and sat beside her on Vincent’s outstretched wing. I wasn’t sure if she would allow me to console her physically, so I refrained from placing a comforting arm around her shoulders. I simply sat there and waited until she was ready to talk.

  After a few minutes, Lanai finally said, “Have you ever done something in your life that you later came to regret with all your heart?”

  “I think everyone does something in their life that they regret,” I replied.

  “I did something … so … so terrible,” she said like a confession. “I hoped death would find me before he did.”

  “Are you talking about Gabriel?” I asked.

  Lanai nodded but said nothing.

  “How do you even know him? And what is the significance of the scar on his back?”

  “I was very beautiful once,” Lanai said, fondly remembering her younger years with a faraway look in her eyes. “I could have had my choice of suitors when I was in my prime, but none of the men around me could ever capture my interest. I had the occasional dalliance but nothing very serious. There was only one man who came close to winning my heart, but he chose to break it instead. He was a fine looking man from your side of the island.”

  “A Vankaran?” I asked in surprise. “What was he doing in Fae territory?”

  “Back then, your people would send over an emissary once a year to see how we were doing. One year, a rather dashing looking young man came and instantly caught my eye. He was nearly ten years younger than me, at the time, but neither of us seemed to care about the age difference. We were in love and nothing else mattered.”

  “But you didn’t stay together,” I concluded. “What happened?”

  “It was around the same time Nuala took my place as Queen of the Fae. She used my love for Thaddeus—”

  “Wait,” I interrupted as my heartbeats suddenly tripled in speed. “Are you talking about Thaddeus Irondale?”

  Lanai nodded. “Yes, do you know him? Is he still alive?”

  “Yes,” I answered, finding the pairing of Thaddeus with Lanai difficult to comprehend. I always considered Thaddeus so uptight. It was hard for me to imagine him and Lanai falling in love. “He’s still alive.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Lanai said with a wistful smile. “Does Gabriel know him?”

  I nodded. “Yes. They’ve worked together quite closely in Iron City. Thaddeus is a very important man in parliament.”

  “I always knew he would rise to greatness,” Lanai said proudly. “I wonder what he would think of me now if he could see how old I’ve become.”

  “Everyone ages,” I told her. “He’s aged too.”

  “But I bet he’s still as handsome as ever.” Lanai sighed. “Men often get even more dashing as they grow older.”

  “Some do,” I agreed, hoping Lanai would get back on track with her story.

  “My affair with Thaddeus was one of the things Nuala used against me. She told the others that I couldn’t be trusted to keep the needs of the Fae in the forefront of my mind since I was sleeping with the enemy. She told them that it was only a matter of time before I gave into any demands the Vankarans might make.”

  “Was Thaddeus trying to talk you into doing something?”

  “No,” Lanai said with a small shake of her head, “he never asked for anything. Nuala’s claims were completely unfounded, but it only takes a kernel of doubt in people’s minds to make them believe what you want them to. Even after Thaddeus left, Nuala continued her attacks on me. I wanted to fight her then, but I wasn’t able to. I feared what she might do to the child growing inside my womb. I knew I was going to have a boy and that he would be half Fae and half Vankaran. He would have a birthright to the Fae throne and always be in danger of Nuala trying to kill him because of that fact. I couldn’t take that risk, so I gave up my throne to live out my days in these woods.”

  Lanai and Thaddeus Irondale had a child together, and that child was a boy. That could only mean that. …

  “Gabriel is your son?” I asked in shock.

  Lanai nodded, sucking in her bottom lip as tears glimmered in her eyes. “I never thought I would see him again. I never wanted to have to tell him what I had done.”

  “Wait,” I said, thinking through what I knew. “The scar he has. Did you put that there?”

  “Yes. I’ve always had a little magic. I wasn’t fortunate enough to be born with a lot, but what little I had left over after he was born I used to make that scar so I would always know my son, no matter what form he took.”

  “Then that means Thaddeus has magic too,” I surmised. Dracen had told me once that a shifter could only be produced by the mating of two people with magic, one of Fae descent and one of Vankaran heritage.

  “His magic wasn’t very strong either,” Lanai told me. “I’m sure he’s used it all up by now.”

  “I don’t understand. How did Gabriel end up on the Vankaran side of the wall? How were the two of you separated?”

  With my questions, a fresh set of tears coursed down Lanai’s face.

  “I took him over there,” she sobbed. “I knew that if Nuala ever found out he existed, she would try to have him killed, or worse, do the deed herself. He would be a threat to her throne because he was the natural born heir. All I could think about was finding a safe place for him to grow up. I left him at an orphanage in a small town and prayed he would be given to a good family.”

  I knew Gabriel’s early life wasn’t what Lanai had hoped for him, but he had been welcomed into a loving family eventually. Dracen and Kira had accepted them into their home and hearts. For a time, he had had the life his mother always wanted for him, but like most things in Gabriel’s life, his happiness didn’t last forever.

  “Why did you try to run away just now?” I asked. “Your son deserves to know the truth. He needs to know that you left him out of love, not because you didn’t want him. I think you owe him at least that much, Lanai.”

  “What if he ends up hating me for what I did?” Lanai asked. “I don’t know if my old heart can take his disdain.”

  “Gabriel is a good man,” I told her. “He’s one of the best men I know. He won’t hate you. If anything, he’ll probably just have a lot of questions for you. He deserves to know who he is. And now he’ll know that he has a half-sister too.”

  “Thaddeus had a daughter?”

  “Yes. Her name is Inara. She’s a very good friend of both of ours. I think he’ll be happy to know that he has family, and you should be the one who tells him that.”

  “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it,” Lanai admitted.

  I placed a comforting hand on her back. “I know you’re strong enough. All you have to do is tell him what you told me just now. I’m sure he’ll have more questions, and you are the only one who can answer them for him. You abandoned him once and lived to regret it, Lanai. Don’t make the same mistake twice in one lifetime. Who knows how long any of us has left? Seize this moment in time and make amends with your son before it’s too late.”

  Lanai nodded her head in agreement. “You’re right. I do owe him an explanation. I may not have a lot of time left in this world, and I don’t want to leave it without him knowing that I have loved him every day of his life.”

  I stood up from Vincent’s wing and lowered a hand to help Lanai stand up as well. She held onto my hand like I was her lifeline as we walked around the tents to find the others. Gabriel and Dracen looked our way, but didn’t move from their positions by the lake’s shoreline. Once we were in front of them, Lanai let go of my hand and took in a deep breath as if preparing herself for the very first talk she would have with her son.

  “May I speak with you in private?” Lanai asked Gabriel.

  With a confused look on his face, Gabriel nodded. “Certainly. Would you like to take a walk around the lake?”

  “Yes,” Lanai nodded. “I would love to do that with you.”

  I watched them walk away, side by side. I felt sure Gabr
iel would accept what Lanai had to tell him with an open heart and mind. He was a good man who wouldn’t judge her for the decisions she had made in the past. Sometimes our lives take unexpected turns. Whether or not they are for the better or worse isn’t always readily discernable. What seems to be the worst thing that can happen to you can sometimes lead you to the best. Time is always the prognosticator of fate, and right now fate had caught up to Gabriel.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  While Lanai was explaining things to Gabriel, I told Dracen what was going on.

  “Well,” Dracen said after I was done, “I can’t say I was expecting that. I didn’t even know Lanai had a baby, much less that it was Gabriel.”

  “I think he’ll take it well, don’t you?” I asked, needing the reassurance of someone else’s opinion that everything was going to turn out fine. We really didn’t need yet another thing to add to our list of complications.

  “I’m sure he will,” Dracen agreed wholeheartedly. “I know when he lived with us as Jacob, he always wondered about his real family. To finally be given the answers to all of his questions will be an unexpected gift to him. There’s no need to worry. He’ll be fine.”

  By this time, Lanai and Gabriel were on the opposite side of the lake from us. They were sitting together on a fallen log near the shore. Obviously, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but their body language seemed to indicate that they were comfortable with one another. I felt like a voyeur watching them, so I tried to think of something else that needed to be done.

  I suddenly remembered why Gabriel had gone off to awaken Dracen.

  “Lanai said that the automatons are protecting the Fae capital,” I told him. “Why would they do that?”

  “Yes, Gabriel told me that while you were handling Lanai. I fear Karis is using his power to control them. Odds are he connected himself to them in some way I wasn’t aware of when we made them.”

  “Their bodies are just machines, though, right? They can be dismantled and destroyed like any other machine?”

  By the look of worry that appeared on Dracen’s face, I had a feeling his answer wasn’t going to be one that I wanted to hear.

  “I made their bodies indestructible,” he told me, sounding as if he was regretting that decision now. “I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to figure out how to release their souls from the trillian.”

  “They must have a weakness of some sort. Everything has a flaw that can be exploited.”

  “The only way we can release them from Karis’ hold is to kill him,” Dracen replied matter-of-factly.

  “Is there no other way?” I knew we were in a war, and that Karis didn’t deserve our mercy. He had been one of the main orchestrators of the plagues, after all. He was a mass murderer whose execution was more than justifiable. Still, the taking of a life was a permanent act.

  “I understand that killing Karis may not be what you had planned,” Dracen said, “but if we don’t, our troops will have an almost impossible time getting through the automatons surrounding the city. We have to take him out in order to save lives.”

  I sighed heavily because I knew Dracen was right. We were in a war that was not of our own making. We had to do everything we could to win, no matter how detestable.

  “How do we kill him?” I asked. “He has the ability to control people’s minds. He controlled you, and you’re the most powerful sorcerer in the world. How can we get someone close enough to kill him before he makes them kill themselves?”

  “Let me go to him. I’ll say that I just want to talk and wait for my chance to take him out.”

  I’m sure I looked at Dracen like he had lost his mind because that was exactly what I was thinking.

  “That isn’t much of a plan,” I said rather bluntly. “I seriously doubt he will fall for the ‘let’s talk’ routine, Dracen. He’ll know you’re up to something.”

  “It’s the only option we have that might work.”

  I thought about it for a moment and shook my head. “No, it’s not the only option we have. I can go in and kill him.”

  “Absolutely not,” Dracen practically shouted. “You’re not a killer, Sarah. You had a hard enough time just a moment ago justifying the order for his death. Do you really believe you can murder him that easily?”

  “I’m the only person here who even has a chance of getting close to him. Before the attack, I’ll go to him, asking for a meeting so we can try to negotiate a truce. He doesn’t know that I have the same powers as you do. He won’t see his death coming from me. Plus, I have my mantle to protect me. He can’t harm me while I’m wearing it, not even with his magic. There’s no other way that makes sense or has as good a chance of succeeding. You can’t argue that I’m wrong about this. I’m the only one who can make this plan work.”

  Dracen opened his mouth to argue, but then thought better of it and closed it. I could see the gears in his mind spinning, trying to find a hole in my logic. Apparently, he couldn’t.

  “Gabriel will never agree to this,” was all Dracen could come up with as a line of reasoning that would prevent me from going.

  “Gabriel doesn’t have a say in what I can and cannot do.”

  “If Fallon were here. …”

  “He would agree with my strategy, just like you do,” I said before he could finish his sentence. “You know this is the best plan. Why are you trying to prevent me from doing what needs to be done?”

  “Because I don’t want to see you get hurt!”

  “Sarah,” Aurora cautioned, “don’t lose your temper with him. He’s just worried about you.”

  “I won’t get hurt,” I told Dracen in a calm voice, keeping my temper in check as Aurora suggested. “As long as I’m wearing the Mantle of Vankara, nothing can hurt me. You know this. You need to trust in its magic.”

  “I couldn’t take it if I lost you again,” Dracen whispered desperately. His eyes were haunted by the memory of losing his daughter once before. “There’s only so much pain from loss that a father can endure before his heart simply gives out, even an immortal one.”

  “I promise you won’t lose me.”

  “You can’t make a promise like that. No one can.”

  “No, I suppose I can’t,” I admitted, “but I can tell you that Karis won’t be the one who kills me. I’m more powerful than he is, and I have people I love and want to come back to. You’re going to have to trust me. I will come back to you. ”

  Dracen sighed in defeat. I could tell he knew my plan was the only one that would work. There was no better option.

  “If you’re going to do this,” he said, “then you need to learn how to control your powers better. You may only have one chance to kill Karis. He’s not a stupid man. He’ll have his guard up around you. If I know him at all, he’ll suspect that you have a second agenda. When you see your opening, you’ll have to take it swiftly and decisively. There won’t be any time to second guess yourself or hesitate once you start casting the spell.”

  “Can you teach me something easy to learn but effective?”

  “Do you remember what I did to Ren in Kamora when he kidnapped you?”

  Could I remember it? That moment of gruesomeness was scorched into my memory. The way Dracen’s spell had called up the earthly pillars that dragged Ren down into the bowels of the earth was something I would never forget.

  “Yes,” I said with a slight shiver, “I remember.”

  “I can teach you how to cast that spell. The earth will swallow Karis whole before he can let out a scream to alert the guards. He’ll suffocate underground within a minute.”

  “That sounds like a horrible way to die.”

  “Would you rather try to preserve him like you did the apple on the airship?”

  “That apple exploded.”

  “Exactly.”

  I let out a hollow laugh.

  “I would rather avoid seeing Karis explode, thank you very much.”

  “We have time for you to practice controlling you
r powers,” Dracen said. “It will take at least another four days for the armadas to arrive. Once Karis sees that we’re serious about invading the capital, he’ll take you up on your offer to talk about a truce.”

  “And what if he actually agrees to everything I ask for?”

  “He won’t,” Dracen said with certainty. “He’s as mad for power as Nuala is. Odds are that they have an agreement with one another. Since Nuala seems determined to stay in Iron City, I think Karis is supposed to remain in the Fae capital to rule in her place. Nuala may be crazy, but she’s no fool. She knows that Karis is a very powerful sorcerer. As long as she keeps him happy, she’ll be able to control him.”

  I heard a big yawn come from the direction of the tents and saw Thomas stretching his arms over his head, trying to completely wake up from his slumber.

  “Did I miss anything?” Thomas asked as he walked over to us.

  If only I could tell him everything that he missed. …

  “The former queen of the Fae found us,” I told him. “We won’t have to search for her after all.”

  “Well, that’s great!” Thomas said enthusiastically. “Where is she?”

  I turned to look back at Gabriel and Lanai. They were still on the other side of the lake, sitting on the log and talking to one another. I had no idea how long they would end up staying over there. They had years to catch up on. I assumed their conversation would take quite a while.

  When the time for lunch approached, Gabriel and Lanai were still on the other side of the lake. It was decided that we should join Nicole and the other dragons near the place where the Kamoran and Vankaran fleets were instructed to meet us. Aurora and I walked around the lake to tell them that we needed to leave.

  “I’m sorry to intrude,” I said to them as I approached.

  They both jumped slightly at the sound of my voice, but I immediately had their attention.

  “We’re planning to move our camp to where Nicole and the other dragons are,” I said more to Gabriel than Lanai. “Dracen thinks it will be safer.”