[Vankara Saga 03.0] War of Atonement

by SJ West

  “I have no intention of allowing them to dictate what I can and cannot do with my own life.”

  Gabriel studied me for a moment before he sat up and leaned his back against the headboard of the bed.

  “It would make more sense for you to either marry Aleksander or me.”

  I was stunned into silence for a moment before I had to ask: “An alliance with Chromis I can understand, but why do you believe they would accept you as a possible husband for me?”

  “Apparently, I’m the heir to the Fae throne,” he reminded me. “If Lanai retakes her place as queen of the Fae, I would be next in line to the throne as her son. A marriage between you and me would ensure a lasting alliance between the Vankaran’s and the Fae. Plus, we have a child together. If you think about it logically, it makes more sense for you to marry me than any of your other suitors.”

  “But Sarah loves Fallon,” Aurora stated fiercely. “She doesn’t love you, so stop trying to bully her into accepting you as her mate!”

  If I had slapped Gabriel in the face, I don’t think he could have looked any more surprised. He stared at Aurora in shock.

  “How can I hear you?” he asked Aurora breathlessly. “How is that even possible?”

  “Something else happened during the attack,” I said, guiltily thankful to have a good excuse to change the subject. “In order to save his own life, Tyr bonded with you.”

  Gabriel immediately began to shake his head. “No, that’s not possible. I don’t accept that.”

  “I’m afraid it’s true,” I said, my heart aching for Gabriel. He was still my friend, no matter what. I refused to believe he would try to trap me in a marriage with him, no matter how much sense it made politically. “Your lives are bound to one another now, and I’m afraid there isn’t anything that can break it.”

  “Is that what I’m feeling?” Gabriel asked as he lifted a hand to his heart. “There’s an emptiness here. I thought it was just caused by your refusal to accept that you’re Kira. Could it be Tyr’s absence that I’m feeling instead?”

  “It could be,” I replied. “I know when I tried to leave Aurora on the Fae side of the Iron Wall that I felt empty inside. I don’t know what effect being bound to a dragon like Tyr will have on you.”

  “I can’t believe this has happened.” Gabriel looked as stunned as he should feel after receiving such news. “What am I supposed to do?”

  “There’s nothing you can do,” I told him regretfully.

  “Maybe you should have let me die out there. Then Tyr would be dead too.”

  “I couldn’t let you die.”

  Gabriel looked at me. “Why not? What do I have to live for now?”

  “I may not love you like Kira did, but I do love you.”

  “Only as a friend.”

  “You say that like it’s nothing,” I chastised. “You are my dearest friend, Gabriel. You’ve helped me in each of my lives, and that has linked us to one another forever. I’m sorry I can’t remember the love you shared with Kira the way you do. I know how much that hurts you, but I can’t deny how I feel about Fallon either. He makes me happy.”

  “And I don’t?”

  “You did when you were my friend and not pressuring me to remember a past that has long been forgotten. Kira needed a new beginning, but all you seem to want is for her to return to you. You need to realize that you’re one of the reasons she left her life behind. Don’t punish her for moving on the only way she could. I’m not Kira, Gabriel. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on with your own life too.”

  Gabriel closed his eyes as he thought about my words to him.

  “I don’t know if I can give up my hope that you’ll remember what we had together,” he finally whispered. “I think it’s the only thing keeping me going right now.”

  “You have so much else to live for,” I told him, resting a hand over my stomach. “Your child with Queen Emma is still alive and growing inside me. Don’t you think you owe it to her and to your son to find a way to reconcile your feelings for Kira once and for all? You need to let the memory of her go and move on, Gabriel. She would want that for you.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because she loved you and wouldn’t want you to wallow in your misery. She found a way to leave hers behind. It’s time you did the same. Forgive yourself for leaving her after Jocelyn’s death and stop trying to make up for it through me. Your child will need you when he gets older.”

  “Will he know me as his father or just as your friend?”

  “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I haven’t thought it through that far yet. All I do know is that we need to end this war so that he and Dena can have a future. They are the rightful heirs to Vankara.”

  “My son will have a right to the Fae throne as well.”

  “Then maybe Dena and he can rule this island together one day, but if that is ever going to have a chance to happen, we have to make sure they each have a kingdom to rule.”

  “We should go back,” Gabriel said, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. The action seemed to be more than his body could handle. He ended up propping his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands.

  “Are you all right?” I asked in alarm, kneeling down in front of him and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

  “I shouldn’t have moved so fast,” he admitted. “My head feels like it’s spinning like a child’s top.”

  I heard the door to Gabriel’s room open.

  “Is something wrong?” Fallon asked.

  “He just needs a moment,” I replied, standing to my feet.

  Fallon carried the tray of sandwiches and glasses of water to the coffee table in front of the couch in the room.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” Fallon asked. “Should I go find Kindra?”

  “I think he just needs some more rest.”

  “I’ll be fine,” Gabriel replied, even if his statement came out as a slight groan of pain. “I just feel a little light-headed is all.”

  “Maybe you need to eat something,” Fallon suggested.

  “I haven’t eaten since last night. That could be part of the problem,” Gabriel agreed.

  Once Gabriel felt well enough to move, he and I sat on the couch and began to eat the sandwiches Fallon brought.

  “Do you want one?” I asked Fallon.

  Fallon shook his head. “No. I’ve already eaten.”

  “Are we keeping you from something important?”

  “Not at the moment, but I will need to leave in a little while. Inara I here to take me to the camp she and Edmund set up for the troops. We’re gathering all of them around Iron City so we can do a head count. That way we can group them into units and choose the best soldiers we have to storm the castle. With the help of the student Isabelle chose, we should be able to get into the palace quickly and find Nuala.”

  “What will you do with her once you find her?” I asked.

  “We won’t kill her,” Fallon assured me. “Not unless she attacks us and gives us no other alternative. The plan is to lock her in the dungeon of the castle until things are straightened out with the Fae. Now that you have Gabriel’s mother on our side, I see no reason why this war shouldn’t end the way we want it to.”

  “There is one thing I neglected to tell the two of you,” I said, wondering if I should keep the information about the automatons to myself or not.

  “They will find out eventually,” Aurora reminded me. “It’s better to get it all out in the open.”

  “Get all of what out in the open?” Gabriel asked, having heard Aurora’s words to me.

  I cleared my throat. “Well, we know where the automatons all went. They’re guarding the Fae capital.”

  “Well, that’s unexpected,” Fallon said, folding his arms over his chest as he considered this new development. “Can our troops defeat them?”

  “Dracen said he designed their bodies to be indestructible.”

  “
That doesn’t sound good,” Gabriel said. “How exactly are we supposed to break through their line then?”

  “Dracen and I have a plan to take Karis out. Dracen believes Karis is the one who is controlling them. If he’s killed, his power over them will be severed.”

  “And how do you plan to get to him?” Fallon asked, getting to the heart of the situation.

  “When our troops and dragons advance on the city, I will ask for a meeting with Karis so we can discuss a peaceful surrender.”

  “Why would he surrender if he has the upper hand?”

  “He probably won’t, but it isn’t going to matter. He’ll take the meeting with me. When he does, I will kill him.”

  Both men were silent for a moment as they each absorbed this new development.

  Finally, Fallon asked, “Are you going to use your magic to kill him?”

  I nodded. “Yes. Karis won’t see it coming from me. He doesn’t know who I am or what I’m capable of.”

  “But what if he does?” Gabriel questioned. “Tyr witnessed your power when it first awakened inside you. He could have told Karis and Nuala what he saw you do.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that,” I said, realizing my brilliant plan might not have been so ingenious after all. “Then, we need to know if Tyr told anyone about me.”

  Both Fallon and I looked at Gabriel expectantly.

  “How am I supposed to find that out?” Gabriel asked.

  “You’ll be able to read Tyr’s thoughts,” I said. “When we go back, you need to try and get him to tell you whether or not anyone else knows about my powers.”

  “I can try, but I’m not even sure he’ll want to talk to me. If he hates humans as much as you say, he might not tell me anything.”

  “He won’t have much of a choice,” Aurora told Gabriel. “Your souls are bound to one another. He’ll want to tell you things he’s never said to anyone else, whether he realizes it or not. It’s one of the effects of being linked to someone else so closely.”

  “Then I suppose we should go back and see what he has to say,” Gabriel said.

  “I’m not sure he’ll be in any mood to talk to you today,” I told him. “He was injured pretty badly during his fight with Gregoire. In fact, I’m surprised he’s still alive. You should build your strength up before you see him again. I doubt Tyr will make things easy for you when you finally meet face to face. He hates humans, and he’ll probably hate you the most because he’s bound to you.”

  “You’re probably right,” Gabriel said, taking a swig of water from his glass before he stood up. “I should probably sleep a little bit before we go back. I’m still feeling light-headed.”

  “I’ll come back to check on you periodically,” I told him. “We’re not in any rush. It will still be a few days before the fleets arrive. There’s plenty of time.”

  “Just don’t leave without me,” Gabriel joked as he crawled back into his bed.

  Fallon and I left the room to give him some privacy.

  Once we were alone again, Fallon took one of my hands with his and led me down the hallway to the bedroom I had been using at the college. He quickly pulled me inside. Gently, he pushed me up against the door and kissed me so hard I felt my body instantly warm to his touch. Aurora flew off my shoulder, but I didn’t give her much thought after that. All of my senses were centered on the man kissing me. I draped my arms across his shoulders and buried the fingers of one hand into his hair, holding his head in place as a nonverbal way of telling him not to end the kiss too soon. We stood there together for a long while, neither of us wanting to pull away from the other. Eventually, Fallon did pull away but only to dot my face with little kisses, telling me in another way just how much he adored me.

  “How can anyone taste as sweet as you?” he asked me, gently kissing my bruised lips.

  “Am I supposed to have an answer to that question?” I asked with a small laugh.

  “No,” Fallon replied, as he continued to kiss my lips. “I don’t think there is an answer, except that I love you.”

  “That sounds like a good enough reason to me,” I replied, using my hands to bring his face even closer to mine to continue where we left off.

  Eventually, we did have to cease our play, but I made sure Fallon knew it was only duty that could force me to relinquish my hold on him.

  “Inara is probably waiting on you,” I reminded him. “You have work to do, Marshal.”

  “I know,” Fallon said reluctantly. “And when this war is over, I only have one request.”

  “And what is that?”

  “That you don’t make me wait very long before we can be married. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold myself back from showing you just how much I love you.”

  “I promise you won’t have to wait very long at all,” I told him. “I’m not going to let parliament dictate whether or not I can marry you.”

  “I think if you win this war, they won’t deny anything you ask for anyway.”

  “Then I guess we need to go,” I said reluctantly. “The sooner we win, the better.”

  “There’s just one more thing,” Fallon said, pulling away from me to look me in the eyes. “I know I can’t talk you out of this plan you’ve devised to deal with Karis, but promise me you won’t take any unnecessary risks. He’s a mass murderer, Sarah. There’s no telling what he’s capable of doing. Don’t trust any truce he tries to make with you because it won’t be a sincere offer of peace.”

  “I know that, and I won’t trust anything he says.”

  “Are you sure you can kill him?” Fallon asked. “And I’m not questioning your ability to kill him with your magic. I know how powerful you are, but you’ve never been placed in the role of an assassin before. Taking a life isn’t an easy thing to do.”

  “I know, but there’s no better way to handle the situation. If I can take Karis out, I can save hundreds of lives. Once he’s gone, we can take control of the city and hopefully save even more lives, at least on that front. After Nuala learns what’s happened, she should do what we’re counting on and send some of her troops and dragons home to retake her city.”

  “It is a good plan,” Fallon agreed. “I just hope you understand what you’re asking of yourself. Killing another person kills a piece of you too. It’s easy to say you think you can do it, but once you’re in the moment, it might be more difficult. Don’t feel guilty if you’re not able to do it. There’s no shame in not being a murderer.”

  “Do you think I’ll fail?” I asked, needing his reassurance, not his doubt.

  “I have faith that you’ll do what needs to be done,” Fallon stated. “You always have and you always will. I know how strong you are, and I want you to know how proud I am of you.”

  I hugged Fallon fiercely, drawing on his strength to bolster my own. I understood what he was telling me, but I also knew that Karis had to die. He had to pay for his sins, and I was the only one who could get close enough to him to do it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  I walked back to the war room with Fallon because I wanted to see Inara again. We found her in the room speaking with her father. I wondered if I should tell them both about the revelation that Gabriel was Thaddeus’ son and Inara’s brother, but I decided it wasn’t my place to reveal such a secret. Gabriel should be the one to tell them at a time of his own choosing.

  “I was wondering if you had changed your mind about coming with me,” Inara said to Fallon as we walked into the room.

  “No. I didn’t change my mind. I just wanted to spend some extra time with our queen before we had to leave.”

  Thaddeus lifted a dubious eyebrow as he watched Fallon and I walk into the room hand-in-hand.

  “I hate to be the voice of reason here,” Thaddeus said to us rather condescendingly, “and I have no idea what it is you’re planning, but I hope the two of you realize nothing can come of this apparent dalliance. In times of war, strange bedfellows can be acceptable, but once things get back to normal, a marriage
between the two of you is completely out of the question. Politically speaking, a union between our queen and Aleksander Chromis is better for the country in the long run.”

  “I won’t be marrying Aleksander,” I told Thaddeus absolutely. “I will, however, be marrying Fallon. Whether you accept that fact or not is totally up to you. I really don’t care one way or the other.”

  “You are Queen of Vankara,” Thaddeus bellowed, “and you have no choice in who you marry. You will do what is in the best interest for your country!”

  “My happiness is what’s best for this country,” I told him, feeling my own temper rise to the surface. “Neither you nor any other member of parliament will dictate who I can and cannot marry!”

  “Can I say something?” Inara interrupted, holding up a hand slightly as if asking for permission to speak. “I happen to know something that might shed some more light on this subject for my father.”

  My breath suddenly caught in my throat. Was Inara about to tell her father my secret? If she did, Thaddeus would be within his rights to imprison me as an impostor. Parliament would then have complete autonomy over the governing of Vankara, and I would have failed Queen Emma in seeing her daughter placed on the throne.

  “What do you have to add?” Thaddeus asked Inara, sounding irritated by her interference.

  “Just the fact that Emma is carrying Fallon’s child,” Inara announced to the surprise of us all. “I don’t think Chromis will want to marry someone who is pregnant with another man’s offspring. Do you, Father? Or would you rather deceive him simply to uphold your own agenda?”

  I didn’t feel as if anyone could be more stunned by Inara’s statement than I was in that moment, but from the flustered look on Thaddeus’ face, I was proven wrong.

  “That’s impossible!” Thaddeus thundered. “How could that have happened? Fallon has been stationed in the outlands for years.”

  “We stopped there on our way back from Chromis a couple of months ago,” Inara lied smoothly. “That’s when it happened. I understand you would prefer her to make a political alliance, but I don’t think you want to lie to Chromis about this. If you do, he might seek retribution once he discovers the truth. I think it’s better to be upfront with him about Emma’s condition, don’t you?”