by Erica Woods
“You—you rude, frigid bastard,” Jenny spat, spinning on her heels and stalking away.
Lucien tracked her retreating form until she was out of sight. “My parents were married, you half-witted harlot,” he muttered, stiffening when Jason chuckled.
The hollow pit that had been my insides since we met Jenny filled with amusement.
Who was this man and why was this the first time I’d seen that dry humor?
He frowned. “Not a word out of you, pup,” he warned, and strode past us.
Jason turned to me with a grin. “Didn’t know he had it in him, did you, love?”
I shook my head.
No. No I hadn’t.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. The restaurant Jason picked out served delicious food, pulling a moan from me at the first bite. He’d ordered for me—I’d been too busy mumbling incoherently down at my menu and avoiding the waiter’s gaze—a pasta dish with a creamy, white sauce, and toasted garlic bread on the side.
Both men were strangely quiet during the meal. Jason occasionally fed me a piece from his own plate when there was something he wanted me to taste, but otherwise didn’t speak.
Lucien didn’t say a single word, and kept to his frosty silence during our visit to the last two shops. Occasionally, I would catch his gaze lingering on my face, a strange light in his brilliant, green eyes, but mostly he scanned each face we passed and kept up a chilly front.
I was too tired during the car ride home to care too much about the silence, but when Jason parked the car and Lucien stalked away without a word—though he did pick up a few bags—I couldn’t stop myself from staring after him and feeling . . .
Guilty?
“Did I . . . Did I say something wrong?”
“No, love. You were a delight,” Jason assured me before he vaulted from the car and rushed to my side.
He always moved with such a spring in his step, like he had a reserve of boundless energy pushing against his skin and urging him to hurry. Even when he sat still, he’d bounce a knee or move his hands—last time we watched a movie it was playing with my hair while I was hyper-aware of his closeness.
When he spoke, it was with his whole body; animated, a lot of gesturing, and looking so vibrantly alive.
It had been one of the first things I noticed about him, and the more time I spent with him, the more I came to believe that a spark of what made the world come alive—call it creation, or life, or whatever—existed inside Jason.
“What’re you thinking so intently about?” he asked, having opened the door on my side without me noticing.
“Nothing, just . . .” I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“It’s a good look on you, love.” He tapped a finger at my lip. “You have a lovely smile.”
My hand shot up to feel the spot he’d touched, surprised at finding my lips curved.
When had that happened?
“Let’s go put away your clothes.” Jason reached for my waist and lifted me straight out of the car, chuckling at my startled cry.
He held me against his chest. He was warm. So warm. “We . . . we bought too much.” My voice came out breathless.
Instead of putting me down, he placed me on the hood of the car and stepped between my legs.
Heat immediately flooded, dragging across nerve endings and making my skin prickle with awareness.
The heady scent that was Jason—dark, male, and with a hint of sweetness—enveloped me when he leaned closer. “We didn’t buy nearly enough, love.” His smooth voice drove liquid heat through my veins. “You deserve only the best.”
A sharp pang pierced my heart.
I didn’t deserve the best. Not even close. Not after what I’d done.
And look at you now, my conscience spat. Lusting after Jason when you already have the perfect man wanting to be with you.
God, what was I doing?
“Jason,” I began, intent on pushing him away. But then . . .
Soft lips swept over mine in a soft caress that left me shaken.
Breathless.
Branded.
I shook. I trembled. I felt . . . heat bursting to life in my belly. Hands on my waist. His lips . . .
Once, twice, three times they gently brushed my own. And then they stayed.
He captured me in such a heartbreakingly tender kiss, I all but melted.
No tongue invaded my mouth. No nibbles teased at my lips. Instead, he stayed still. Feeling me. The velvet touch of his mouth a beautiful sensation, pushing with just the right amount of pressure, a soft, careful, heated touch that I somehow felt all the way down to my soul.
The perfection of the moment drew a soft sigh from my lungs, a sound Jason responded to with a savage growl.
Suddenly, a hand buried in my hair, the other finding the middle of my back and pulling me against a hard body.
Surrounding me, Jason’s arms were bands of steel. They kept me close. Kept me safe.
My heart raced.
I moaned again, throwing my arms around his neck and arching into him.
His body vibrated with restraint, and his chest released a continuous rumble that I felt like a tug between my legs.
Despite the change, the taut tension of his big frame, the kiss remained the same; a soft press of lips as they molded to mine.
Intimate.
Warm.
Perfect.
Each shared hot breath was like a gust of heated glass exploding between us, but instead of cutting, the pieces melted and became more fire to heat our flames.
His whole body shook, letting me feel the power in those hands, in those broad shoulders and wide chest. I felt how contained he was, how much he was holding himself back.
His strength, his power . . .
He was hard all over.
Except his mouth.
That was soft. For several, long seconds.
It wasn’t until he groaned and slanted his lips over mine to deepen the kiss that I remembered who I was. And who I’d given myself to.
I’ve told Ruarc I’m his . . .
I tore away with a mangled cry.
Jason immediately stepped back and dropped his arms to his sides.
What had I done? How could I have been so stupid?
“I . . . I didn’t—” My voice shattered.
I would lose Ruarc. I would lose him.
My eyes burned.
He wouldn’t put up with a betrayal like this. He shouldn’t. He deserved better. More.
Not me. Not my baggage, not the evil hunting me, and not the darkness buried so deep inside me it had become a part of who I was.
I slid down the car, knees almost buckling when my feet hit the hard ground.
“Love . . .” Jason reached for me, but I ducked under his arm and sprinted up the driveway. “Wait!”
I had to get away. Had to get myself under control.
Ruarc couldn’t see me like this.
I made a sound. A broken, hopeless whimper.
I owed him the truth, but not like this. Not while I bawled all over him, and his honor forced him to comfort me when I was the one who’d done wrong.
Knowing the good, kind heart that beat beneath that massive chest, he might end up forgiving me just because I was a sad, pathetic creature.
The last thing I wanted was to manipulate him into forgiving me. Into being with me.
I slammed into the door, ignoring Jason’s call for me to wait, and managed to get my trembling fingers to work the handle so I could get inside.
The door slammed open behind me.
Rushing through the living room, I found the stairs and sprinted up to my room.
Footsteps behind me. Too close.
I stumbled over the threshold. Turned. Slapped at the lock.
It clicked in place.
A low curse. Then, “Hope . . .” A soft knock. “Love, please open the door.”
I buried my face in my hands to stem the sobs breaking through my tight throat.
; “Don’t cry.” A ragged plea.
“P-please leave me a-alone.”
A soft thud, like his head was resting against the door. When he next spoke, his voice was thick. No longer vibrant. “Please, sweetheart, give me a chance to—”
“G-go away!” I cried.
I couldn’t hear what he had to say. I couldn’t listen to his excuses. To all the reason why it had been a mistake, that he hadn’t meant anything by it, that he could never care for someone like me. Whatever it was he wanted to say, my heart couldn’t handle it.
Not when it was already splitting in two.
I will lose him. I will lose Ruarc.
I would lose them both.
When had this happened? When had I become this faithless, horrible creature?
For a long time, there was only the sound of my strangled breathing and the soft scrape of Jason moving in the hall.
Then he whispered, a torn, “I’m sorry,” and was gone.
I staggered over to the bed, fell down, tried to halt the tears flowing down my cheeks.
When Ruarc got back I’d have to tell him what had happened. That I’d betrayed him.
With a sob, I buried my face in my pillow and let myself cry. By the time Ruarc was back, I was determined to be empty of tears so I could give him the explanation—and the out—he deserved.
He deserves so much better than me.
45
RUARC
The vise that had been squeezing my heart all day loosened slightly as I caught the scent of our territory.
Almost home.
The day had been a shit-storm of epic proportions. I’d been riding a sharp edge of fury from the moment I stormed out of the house and left my female in the hands of my pack brothers. Despite trusting them with my life, unease dogged my steps while I was away. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Hope’s big, wounded eyes staring up at me. Smelled the sharp scent of fear. Saw her blanching face and the tremors in her hands.
Hadn’t felt right leaving her like that. But if I’d stayed we’d all have been in danger. I was the pack enforcer for a reason, and today I’d been needed, goddammit!
If a Stray hadn’t left his fucking scent all over our property—getting as far as the front-fucking-door, I wouldn’t have had to rush out last night. It had been years since one had dared get this close, and now that I had its scent I wouldn’t stop hunting until it was caught.
What if it smelled Hope? Saw her?
A snarl erupted into the still night.
And of course, we’d had another pack to see. They’d had issues with Strays last year, so Ash had thought they might have known something.
Unfortunately, how I’d left shit with Hope had influenced me ever since.
The churning in my stomach had driven me nearly mad with rage. If the north-eastern pack hadn’t feared us before, they damned well did today. Their alpha was a brainless twat, something he’d proven when he’d instigated a dominance play in the middle of our meeting. Although Ash thought I could’ve stopped it without tearing his throat out, my mood had been so foul, I’d reacted before my brain was fully caught up. Luckily for the alpha, a healer had been nearby.
Hope’s pale face, eyes scrunched tightly shut, flashed behind my closed lids.
Fuck!
I snarled. The sound deeper, more menacing now that I was in my wolf-form.
Emotions battered at me from all sides. Mostly rage. Red hot rage that made my teeth ache with the desire to feel flesh tear.
But also feelings I wasn’t used to, could barely recognize.
The guilt was easy. I was used to dealing with guilt. But the near panic thundering in my chest was foreign.
Have to get home.
Shouldn’t have left in the first place. Should have stayed, apologized and made sure my female was all right before I even thought about stepping one foot out the door. But Ash had been waiting. And what did one say to a female after such a colossal fuck up? How could I explain the irrational fear driving my protective instincts when she mentioned leaving without me?
Or the possessive surge at the thought of her being alone with Jason?
I stopped by a shallow creek. The fresh water looked inviting, so I jumped in and made sure every inch of my fur scraped against the sand at the bottom. Once I was satisfied most of the blood was gone, I took off at a sprint.
The wind ruffled my fur and the cold dirt gave way beneath my paws.
Lucien’s workshop came into view, and I skidded around the corner. Throwing my head back, I howled. Ash’s answering howl was further away, but close enough that I didn’t have to wait.
It took me less than a minute to get dressed; dark sweatpants and a black shirt. I gritted my teeth with impatience and jogged up to the house. Stepping inside, I slammed the door shut, and froze.
Something’s wrong.
A metal rod had more give than my jaw. My teeth ground together, fangs growing and digging into my gums. The overwhelming scent of worked up male offended my nose and stirred the hot anger I’d been unable to shake all day.
A spike of my pulse, a burst of panic. What if my little female was hurt? What if Jason had hurt her?
A red haze floated over my vision as I recognized Jason as the owner of the riled, male scent. If he’d hurt my Hope . . .
I’ll kill him.
As I stormed into the kitchen I tried to control my rage. Hope wouldn’t like it if I hurt Jason for no reason. As much as it pained me, I knew she felt something for him, and even though he annoyed the shit out of me, I loved my brother.
“Jason,” I barked at the gloomy figure slumped over a chair. A half-empty bottle of scotch dangled from his hand. He lifted his head, eyes dull, and opened his mouth.
Nothing.
I clenched my fists at my side.
Idiot.
No matter how much he drank he couldn’t get drunk. Lycan metabolism. “Where’s Hope?”
“Upstairs.” His mouth formed a desolate grimace. “I messed up,” he admitted and glanced down at the table. “She’s upset.”
“If you hurt her . . .” I didn’t have to say anything more. He knew.
I spun on my heels and rushed up the stairs.
“Hope?” Her door was locked. I was about to kick it down when I heard the rustle of clothes on the other side of the door.
I fumed as I waited.
Fucking shit-show.
My vision narrowed further and further, until only a sliver of sight remained. The sound of my foot tapping against the floor pulled me out of thoughts of blood and gore—Jason’s blood and gore—and dragged my focus to the other side of the door.
A click indicated the lock had been turned. I pushed my way inside, careful to not push the door into the fragile, precious package on the other side.
I scented her before I saw her. The sweet fragrance of her skin was tainted by a smell I never ever wanted to come off her. Fear. And hurt. The feeling kind, not the physical kind.
Fucking lucky for Jason.
Then I got my first glimpse of her. A growl rumbled in my throat.
Her eyes were red-rimmed, and a deep, anguished sadness shone in their depths. Her obvious pain brought out the savage fury always lurking beneath the surface of my being—especially where Hope was concerned—and nearly blinded me with it’s intensity.
“Who do I kill,” I growled, prepared to tear whoever hurt her limb from limb.
Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her eyes were wide, startled. Her lip trembled, but she bit down on it, hard.
Too hard.
I frowned and reached out to rescue her ever-abused lip, but she jerked back, eyes brimming with tears.
My frown turned into a dark scowl. Someone had hurt her enough that she was wary of me.
It better fucking not be Jason!
My jaw hurt with the force I was using to press my teeth together so I wouldn’t punch through the floor and bite Jason’s face off.
“I . . .” She looked down at the
floor. “I did s-something b-bad.”
She did something bad? I stilled, scenting the air while I watched her fidget through narrowed eyes. A bitter scent. Sour, almost. Wrapped in—
Pain?
Understanding came, and with it, a black mood I fucking didn’t need right then. I got it. The hunched shoulders. The self-loathing in her eyes. The way she didn’t want to look at me.
She was ashamed.
Squaring my shoulders, I braced myself for her confession. Whatever it was, we would get through it. Even if I had to swallow this rage burning a hole in my stomach.
“I . . . Jason and I . . . we k-kissed.” Her voice broke on the last word, body inching away until she stood sideways.
Like she was expecting a blow?
“Did he force you?” A deadly calm came over me as I waited for her reply. Images of a bloodied Jason tore through my mind. If he’d forced her . . .
“I kissed him back,” she admitted on a whisper.
A ragged growl tore from my throat. Jealousy boiled.
There was no doubt in my mind I would have killed Jason if he was anyone else. Not my brother.
The thought of another man touching what was mine made fangs sprout from my gums and claws erupt from my fingertips.
As it were, Jason owed both of us an explanation. Had he forgotten Hope was human? He couldn’t push her. Couldn’t kiss her without a conversation first. Had to sit her down. Explain shit to her.
Fuck!
This day was getting worse and worse. The need to pummel Jason until his face was mush was one I seriously considered giving into. The pup had to learn, and who better to teach him than the older brother who loved him despite his flaws.
Life-threatening flaws.
I struggled with controlling the emotions wreaking havoc on my insides. Didn’t know what to do. How to make this better for her. For my poor, little human who looked as fragile now as the day I met her.
Another savage growl made its way past my tight throat.
Muscles tight, body on full alert, I averted my gaze before the sight of her—shamefaced and devastated—made me do something I’d regret.
Jason should never have left her like this. Insecure and hurting.
“I’ll be right back.” The words were almost unintelligible, pushed out as they were between teeth that refused to unclench.