Purrfect Crime

by Nic Saint

  I looked up, having devoured the entire packet. “Thanks, Gran. I think you just graduated to being my favorite person on the planet.”

  “You can’t do that,” said Dooley, alarmed. “She’s my favorite person on the planet.”

  “She can be both our favorite person on the planet,” I told him.

  “She can?” he asked, surprised.

  “Sure. There’s no limit on how many people’s favorite person you can be.”

  “Oh, crap,” Gran suddenly said, looking up in alarm. When I saw Odelia peeking down at us from across the counter, I knew we were in trouble. Big trouble.

  Chapter 16

  “Max! Gran!” Odelia didn’t know who she should be mad at more: Gran for providing Max with these sugary snacks that would ruin his diet, or Max for accepting and eating them.

  “I was giving him what he needs,” said Gran snappishly. “You can’t expect him to subsist on such a crappy diet.”

  “He’s too fat. He has to go on a diet,” she said. “If he doesn’t, he might get all kinds of diseases.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says Vena!”

  Gran waved a deprecating hand. “Who listens to stupid doctors?”

  “I do—you do—we all do!”

  “Not me. Uh-uh. If I’d listened to your father I’d have stopped working a long time ago, and would be sitting at home crocheting. He seems to think that a woman my age has no business being out and about and enjoying life to the fullest.”

  “That’s not true and you know it. Dad was the one who told you to work past your retirement. He said you’re way too active to sit at home and do nothing.”

  “Look, Max is my baby and if I can’t even spoil my babies…”

  Odelia’s eye fell on the copy of Donna Magazine. “Don’t tell me you’ve been ordering more of that Donna junk.” When her grandmother didn’t respond, she cried, “Gran!”

  “What? I need this stuff. I need all of it!”

  “You don’t need any of it. If Dad knew you’ve been ordering online again, he’d cut up his credit cards and make sure you never get near a computer again.”

  “Well, he won’t know if you won’t tell him, will he?”

  Just at that moment, the door to Dad’s office opened and Tex Poole himself walked out. Dad was a big and bluff man, well-liked and respected by the Hampton Cove community. He was also a great doctor. “What’s going on here?” he asked. “I thought a fight had broken out or something.”

  “A fight has broken out,” Odelia assured him. “Gran has been giving Max Cat Snax.”

  “Oh?” asked Dad. “And that’s bad because…”

  “Because Max is on a diet. He’s not supposed to eat anything other than the diet kibble Vena has prescribed him.”

  “Right,” Dad said. “Of course.” He wagged a dutiful finger in Gran’s face. “Only diet food from now on, Vesta. No more Cat Snax for Max.”

  “But he loves his Cat Snax,” said Gran. “And look at him. He’s not fat. He’s just the right size for his body type.” To prove her point, she tried to pick Max up from the floor and deposit him on her desk. Unfortunately, the ginger cat proved too heavy and she couldn’t manage. “That doesn’t mean a thing,” she said defiantly.

  Dad stepped into the breach and picked Max up and studied him. The way he was dangling from Dad’s large hands, his hind paws stretched out and his face a mask of annoyance, it appeared the ginger tabby wasn’t too happy to be handled like this.

  “He is a bit on the heavy side,” Dad agreed. “And he could definitely use some more exercise.”

  At this, Max’s eyes went wide. “Exercise?” he cried. “I don’t need no stinkin’ exercise!”

  “Maybe you’re right, Dad,” said Odelia. “If he’s not going to follow his diet, maybe we should just make sure he’s more active. Maybe I should take him to the gym with me from now on. Make him run on the treadmill. A couple of miles a day would do the trick.”

  “Not the treadmill!” Max cried. “I hate the treadmill!”

  “They sell special cat treadmills nowadays,” said Dad. “It’s more like a big hamster wheel, built for cats, but it’ll do the trick.”

  “But I’m not a hamster!” Max yelled, still dangling from Dad’s hands. “Please—I’ll be good. I won’t eat Cat Snax anymore. I’ll stick to my diet from now on.”

  “Or maybe you could just take him for a walk every day,” Dad continued. “You could buy him one of those leashes—like the ones they use for dogs—and you walk him twice a day. That should take care of that excess weight.”

  Odelia thought about this. “You know, Dad?” she finally said. “That might not be such a bad idea.”

  “No! I’ll be good! I’ll eat that diet crap—I mean that diet food!”

  “Or I could do both,” said Odelia. “I could feed him the diet kibble and take him for a walk every day.” She nodded, her mind made up. “It’s good for you, Max, and it will speed up your weight loss. Kickstart it.” She ignored the look of panic in the cat’s eyes. “And who knows, if you lose those pounds fast enough, I might even let you have some Cat Snax from time to time.”

  “I just think you’re torturing the poor creature,” said Gran disdainfully.

  “And as for you,” Odelia said, turning to her grandmother, “no more ordering stuff online. Is that understood?”

  “Has she been ordering online again?” asked Dad, surprised.

  “Loads of stuff. She’s been shipping it to my address.” Gran darted a quick look in Max’s direction and Odelia saw what was going on here. A secret alliance between cat and human. No more, though. She wasn’t going to condone this kind of subterfuge. “Dad, I think you better cancel your credit cards.”

  Gran looked horrified. “You can’t do that!”

  “Oh, but I can,” Dad assured her. “And I probably should.” He seemed to waver for a moment. “Of course, it’s a whole hassle to apply for new credit cards. Maybe if you promise me that from now on you’ll behave, I won’t have to take such a drastic step.”

  Gran nodded anxiously. “I promise! From now on, no more ordering online!”

  “Dad, don’t fall for those empty promises. You know she’ll break them the first chance she gets.”

  “Well, I for one believe her,” said Dad.

  “You’re a good man, Tex,” said Gran. “And an ever better son-in-law. I just knew I was doing the right thing when I advised Marge to marry you and not that bum Jock Farnsworth.”

  Dad frowned at this. “Vesta,” he warned.

  “Well, that’s what happened! Good thing I told Marge to pick you.” She gave Dad a radiant smile.

  Odelia looked from Gran to her dad. “Who is Jock Farnsworth?”

  “Nobody,” said Dad quickly, throwing Gran a dark look.

  “He was your mother’s boyfriend around the time she was dating your father,” said Gran.

  “Mom was dating two guys at the same time?”

  “Can you imagine?” Gran chuckled. “Your mother was quite the hot chick. She had so many suitors we had to fight them off with a stick, your grandpa and me. But when she told me she couldn’t decide between Jock and Tex, I was the one who made her pick Tex.”

  Dad rolled his eyes. He was obviously not happy with Gran raking up this ancient family history. Odelia narrowed her eyes at Dad. So that’s why he was so easy on Gran using his credit card. She was holding this Jock Farnsworth over his head.

  “Who’s Jock Farnsworth?” she asked again.

  “Nobody!” Dad insisted.

  “Franklin Farnsworth’s kid,” said Gran.

  “Franklin Farnsworth? The chicken wing guy? The richest man in Hampton Cove?

  “He’s not that rich,” Dad muttered darkly.

  “He is super rich,” Gran said with a smirk. “And now Jock’s poised to step into his father’s shoes and take over the family business, he’ll be the richest man in town. And he could have been your daddy, Odelia.”

  She stare
d at her grandmother. It was hard to believe Mom had dated Franklin Farnsworth’s son once upon a time. Talk about ghosts from the past.

  “Are we done talking about Jock Farnsworth?” asked Dad irritably.

  “Sure, whatever you say, Tex,” said Gran, still that smirk on her face. She had Dad just where she wanted him and she knew it.

  “What happened to Jock?” asked Odelia. “After Mom broke up with him, I mean.”

  “Well, let me see,” said Gran, pretending to think hard. “Oh, that’s right. He married Grace Carpenter—Ralph Carpenter’s only daughter.”

  “Ralph Carpenter. The second richest man in town.”

  “Sure. Ralph and Franklin always dreamed of joining their families. Marge breaking up with Jock paved the way.”

  So not only had Mom dated the richest kid in Hampton Cove, but now that kid was married to the richest girl in town. And no one had ever told her! Dad was still scowling at Gran, so she patted his shoulder. “Mom made the right decision, Dad,” she assured him.

  “You think so?” he asked, not seeming convinced.

  “She married my dad, didn’t she?”

  Dad smiled and gave her a hug. “Thanks, honey. That’s very sweet of you.”

  “Franklin Farnsworth was bad news anyway,” said Gran. “Imagine Marge marrying into that family and spending every holiday at Farnsworth Castle, having to be nice to Irma Farnsworth.” She shivered. “We had a narrow escape there, Tex.”

  “We sure did,” said Dad softly.

  Odelia wanted to know more about these secrets from her family’s past, but both Tex and Gran were eager to change the topic, so she decided to leave it at that. She’d just ask Mom instead.

  “Actually the reason I dropped by was to ask you about Donna Bruce,” Odelia told her dad.

  “Oh, right. The murder case. Terrible business, that. Simply terrible.”

  “Was she a patient of yours?”

  “No, she wasn’t. She used a concierge doctor. Though I knew of her, of course. Before she became a lifestyle tycoon she was a wonderful actress.”

  “The bee stings,” said Odelia. “I always thought bee stings weren’t lethal?”

  “Well, they can be if you get enough of them,” said Tex. “And then there’s the fact that some people are allergic and can go into anaphylactic shock. I guess Donna was one of those people.”

  “I don’t think so,” said Odelia. “The coroner would have mentioned it in his report. The cause of death was definitely the bee stings. She apparently suffered thousands of them in a very short amount of time.”

  “That would do it,” said Dad. “The average person can tolerate ten stings per pound of body weight. So she must have sustained a lot of them.”

  “But could she have survived the attack?”

  “Very unlikely,” said Dad. “From what I understand, thousands of bees were unleashed on the poor woman. And the fact that she was in the sauna, with nothing to protect her, means she would have suffered stings all over her body. Whoever planned this must have thought things through.”

  Gran was shaking her head. “Who could have done such a terrible thing?”

  “Well, as it turns out Donna Bruce made a lot of enemies over the years,” said Odelia. “She was not a well-liked woman.”

  “I can see that,” said Dad, nodding. “She had a reputation for being difficult and demanding.”

  “I hope you catch the culprit, honey,” said Gran. “Donna was my hero. I wouldn’t know what to do without some of the stuff she advised on her website.”

  Odelia remembered the jade eggs and thought Gran could have done without them with no trouble at all. Then again, maybe Dad was right. If Gran really wanted to buy all this stuff, and he didn’t mind funding her Donna fixation, who was she to stop her?

  Picking up her two cats, she left the doctor’s office and set foot for the police station. She was meeting with her uncle and Chase to discuss the case and this time she wanted Max and Dooley to be present when she did. Chase might think it a little strange when she brought two cats to the meeting but so be it. He would just have to get used to the fact that she was a crazy cat lady, as he’d told her on more than one occasion.

  Chapter 17

  “So how did your sleuthing session with Harriet and Brutus go?” she asked as they were walking down the street, en route to the police station.

  “Terrible,” Max sighed. “We now know everything about Justin Bieber’s tattoos and Blac Chyna’s favorite designers. We even know how many nannies Rumi and Sir Carter have—”

  “Rumi and Sir Carter?”

  “Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s twins,” said Dooley knowingly. “They’re very cute.”

  “—but we still don’t know a thing about who killed Donna Bruce,” Max finished. “Oh, but we did find out she had a boyfriend with a tiny wee-wee. His name is—”

  “Dexter Valdès. Yes, Donna’s ex-husband told us about him. He looks like a great suspect.”

  “What about the ex-husband?” asked Max. “I thought he did it?”

  “He has a solid alibi. He was with the boys. Sweetums and Honeychild.”

  “Of course he was.”

  Odelia looked down, noticing that Max’s breath was a little labored. “Are you all right down there, honey? Do you want me to carry you?”

  “No, I’m fine,” said Max, holding up a paw. “Never felt better.”

  But judging from the way he walked, he was having trouble with his weight. He lumbered, his step not as graceful as it used to be. It frankly worried her. “Don’t eat Cat Snax anymore, Max,” she urged. “That stuff’s full of sugar. It’s not good for you.”

  “I know,” he said. “It’s just that I’m hungry all the time.”

  “Drink more water,” Dooley advised. “Whenever I’m hungry and I don’t feel like eating, I just drink a lot of water—really fill up my tummy. And then I’m not hungry anymore.”

  “That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard,” Max grumbled. “Drink more water. I’m hungry, Dooley, not thirsty.”

  “But if your stomach is full, you won’t be hungry. And water doesn’t have any calories, or does it?”

  “No, it doesn’t,” Odelia assured him. “Listen to Dooley, Max. Whenever you get hungry, just drink more. Maybe you’ll be able to handle your cravings that way.”

  Max gave her a dubious look. It was obvious he wasn’t buying it.

  They arrived at the police station and she entered, holding the door for the cats. Usually the feline duo snuck around the back and lounged on Chief Alec’s windowsill. Today she wanted them to be present in the room, though. She hoped they could help find out what was going on.

  “Hey, I don’t think we were ever in here,” said Dooley, looking around excitedly.

  “Yeah, almost like being invited to visit the Queen of England,” said Max.

  They passed Dolores and set foot for her uncle’s office. She entered without knocking, as usual, and took a seat across the desk from the Chief, who sat discussing the case with Chase.

  “I see you brought your feline little friends,” said Uncle Alec amiably as he glanced down at Max and Dooley. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

  “I found them wandering down the street and figured I’d better take them along, in case they got lost again,” she said.

  Uncle Alec nodded. He’d gotten the message. Chase, however, seemed surprised. “You’re awfully protective of those cats, aren’t you? Can’t they find their own way home? I always thought cats had some kind of homing instinct?”

  “They do,” said Odelia, “but Max has been having some medical issues. He needs to be watched closely.”

  “Medical issues, huh?” asked Max with an offended look at Odelia. “So now all of a sudden I’m an invalid? Thanks for nothing.”

  She smiled down at the spreading ginger cat. “You’re welcome, Max.”

  “Mh? What was that?” asked Chase.

  “Oh, I was just talking to myself.”

  �
��She does that a lot,” Uncle Alec explained. “Even as a child she was always talking to herself. Drove us crazy.”

  “Did she now?” asked Chase, darting a curious look down at Max and Dooley.

  “So what did your dad have to say?” asked Uncle Alec, getting down to business.

  “He said that whoever murdered Donna knew what they were doing. They used enough bees to make sure the attack would be deadly, even if Donna proved not to be allergic to bee stings.”

  “So we’re dealing with a professional,” Chase grunted. “First time I’ve ever heard of bees being used as a murder weapon.”

  “People underestimate how many bees it takes to kill a person,” said Odelia. “Stings from bees might be very painful, but they are rarely deadly.”

  “So do you think we should look at beekeepers?” asked Chase.

  “I doubt it,” said Uncle Alec. “No beekeeper would sacrifice his precious bees for this kind of thing. It’s hard enough to keep them alive, with bees dying out at a troubling rate and beekeepers losing large percentages of their hives. It’s a huge investment in both monetary terms and time-wise.”

  “So we’re looking for someone who wanted Donna dead and knew a thing or two about bees.”

  “Stands to reason that the person who stole the hives would have suffered a few bee stings in the process,” Uncle Alec said thoughtfully. “So that’s one other thing to look into.”

  “What about the boyfriend?” asked Odelia. “Any sign of this Dexter Valdès yet?”

  “So far nothing,” said Uncle Alec. “We did find out he still lives in town, but he wasn’t home when we sent some officers by to pick him up. But don’t worry. We’ll find him soon enough. I put out an APB for his arrest.”

  Just then, there was a loud altercation in the hallway, and when Odelia got up to take a closer look, she saw that two officers were bringing in a handsome-looking man who was the spitting image of Ricky Martin, only two decades younger. He was handcuffed and shouting at the officers.

  “Dexter Valdès,” said one of the officers, panting slightly from the exertion of subduing the man. “We picked him up at Pier’s Pont. Bar fight.”