Quickening, Volume 1

by Amy Lane

  I gasped. That was blasphemy right there. “Nicky!”

  Nicky shook his head. “No—I know I’m not completely in the loop. I mean, you gave me a way out this summer, I took it, and that’s all on me. But even I can see that something is eating at him. Remember when you wouldn’t let us heal you? You were dying, and you were afraid you’d take us with you?”

  I nodded. It had taken five men, sleeping next to me in shifts, to keep me alive.

  “Green’s going to need all three of us,” I said, making the realization. “Bracken’s ass reaming alone isn’t going to do it.”

  Nicky chuckled lasciviously. “But it would be great to see him try!”

  A totally unexpected shaft of lust stabbed me right in the tender privates.

  Nicky cracked up. “You thought about it, didn’t you?”

  “Oh Goddess,” I groaned, burying my face in my arms. “Only every day of the last year and a half!”

  “Right?” Nicky said excitedly. “I mean, it’s not like they didn’t do it before. Apparently there were like, years of all of them fucking each other silly, right up until….” He grimaced comically.

  “Up until me,” I said acidly. “The pregnant woman having this discussion on the toilet.”

  “Whatever,” Nicky laughed, stripping down out of his cargo shorts and snazzy mesh tank top and draping them carefully on the sink.

  “What are you doing?” I frowned at him.

  “I’m letting Bracken take care of the ass reaming, and I’m taking care of you.” He reached inside the shower and turned it on. “Now pretend I’m not here, wipe, and get up. We’re gonna be late.”

  I followed his instructions bemusedly, more egged on by the threat of being late than by anything else. Couldn’t be late, must keep going, school was waiting… it had been the idea that drove me two and a half years ago when I’d met Adrian, and it hadn’t changed.

  The shower helped—showers always help. But Nicky helped too. He soaped my hair and my body, and I returned the favor. Yes, it was sexual, but it was also being comfortable enough with him to touch him and not have to get off.

  In another life, being married to Nicky Kestrel and only Nicky Kestrel would not have been a hardship. Sometimes, after the brutal intensity of being with Bracken and Green, Nicky was like a balm on my chapped emotions, and I was grateful.

  I felt almost human when I got out, and Bracken was waiting with a fluffy towel and that massive power that was Bracken Brine Granite op Crocken Green. He enfolded me gently and then, with his other arm, handed Nicky his towel. While Nicky was drying his hair, Bracken reached out and tweaked his nipple, and I giggled when Nicky yelped.

  Nicky glared at Bracken for a moment, and Brack’s eyes heated. “I have been inside you, little man. I’m not going to forget.”

  We watched in fascination as Nicky’s body washed a blotchy red from pretty much his toes up. “Please don’t,” he rasped. “Forget, I mean.”

  My desire spiked so quickly it slid between my thighs, and both preternatural beings in the room paused with nostrils dilated as they scented my desire.

  Bracken broke the spell by groaning and burying his face in my neck. “Now? I’ve been dying of arousal for days, and now you’re awake and in need?”

  Oh Goddess. That was the other thing. Who’s got time for sex when you’re falling asleep in your oatmeal?

  “God, yes,” I mumbled. “I mean… pregnant doesn’t mean dead, right? Maybe just wake me up and poke me with that thing. Even if I sleep through it, I’ll have a crazy good dream and one of us will get off.”

  Bracken grunted. “I will hold you to that,” he promised. “Right now, let’s get you dressed and get down the hill. If that fucker acts up this morning, I will pull his blood out his eyeballs.”

  “Which fucker?” Nicky asked. It wasn’t until he did that I realized Bracken and I had kept this to ourselves too.

  “Poli-sci professor,” I told him. “Misogynistic fucker.”

  “Cory made an ass of him on the first day,” Bracken said with some satisfaction. “He’s been docking her papers ever since.”

  “Docking how?”

  “You know, Nick—usual shit. Brack and I are doing our homework together, but Brack’s getting As, and I’m getting Cs. I sit down and he asks if I’ve got to pee, or if the temperature is okay. Stupid bullshit things. We’ve done the drill before, you know?”

  Nicky just stared at us. “And you let him do that?”

  I grunted. “We’re not going to kill the guy for being a douche. We just do what you do, right? Power through?”

  The stare turned to a glare. “Have you… I don’t know. Thought of going to Hallow, or an administrator, or… the fucking Internet?”

  Bracken tilted his head to the side. “Human authorities?” he asked—like he’d never heard those actual syllables before, much less addressed the general concepts.

  I grunted. “Seriously, Nick. I kill people and blow up stuff all the time. You think I can’t deal with some douche who thinks he’s God’s gift? I mean, we’ve done this before—remember Hollow Man?”

  Nicky was bouncing on his toes—and since he was naked, and it made his penis swing back and forth, this was pretty comical. But he was agitated, really upset, and he didn’t laugh.

  “Yeah, Cory, you kill bad guys all the time in the nonhuman world. But that doesn’t mean the everyday human douches get a free pass. That’s why there’s human authorities! I mean, you don’t need this shit when you’re pregnant!”

  “Speaking of, I’m getting hungry. And no woman needs this shit ever, Nicky. Brack and I will deal, okay?” I wasn’t sure why I felt defensive—for some reason it was like my ability to take care of myself was being questioned. It didn’t matter. I’d swung from weepy to happy to pissed, all in about the span of fifteen minutes, and now it was time to get dressed and head on down the hill so I could add nauseated and stressed to the mix.

  Brack had set out a pair of shorts—the kind that were tight around the thighs and went down to my knees—and a T-shirt on the bed. The bra and panties were soft, comfy cotton, and the T-shirt was purple in a women’s size small, which is what I really did wear—as opposed to a man’s XXL, which I tried to wear—but I wasn’t going to be picky or put up a fight. Not today.

  My bra was tight enough to make my boobs ache, the underpants rolled down three times before I got them to stretch over my hips, and the T-shirt popped over my tummy and allowed way too much cleavage to spill out the top.

  The shorts didn’t button.

  “Auuuughhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I was surprised I didn’t wake up the vampires—who had been avoiding me at night, by the way. Apparently I tasted like flowers, and it was weirding them out. Everyone except Grace, bless her soul. “You people have got to stop feeding me!” I roared.

  Bracken and Nicky, who were already dressed and had watched my spectacle of fashion disaster with wide eyes and shut mouths, crossed their arms and regarded me critically, uncowed by my wrath.

  “No,” Nicky said, “not really. Your ankles are actually a little thin, you think, Brack?”

  “Yes,” Bracken said, surprising me because he couldn’t lie. “And her arms and wrists aren’t swollen either. Or her neck.” He met my eyes. “No, beloved, this looks like perfectly acceptable weight gain, really.”

  “This shit fit six weeks ago!” I wailed. Bracken had pulled out some of my comfiest girl clothes for this outfit, and it had fit, it had, it had, it had!

  “It did,” Brack agreed. “And then you got knocked up.”

  “And the booby fairy said hello, gorgeous!” Nicky confirmed, nodding salaciously.

  Bracken looked at him with a straight face. “If there really was a booby fairy, you do realize I would have fucked her in my youth.”

  Oh Goddess. Game over.

  Nicky and I burst out laughing, and Bracken—looking insufferably pleased with himself—produced another stretchy cotton dress and a pair of stretch cotton leggings to go u
nder it.

  And a stretchy nylon bra that didn’t hurt, and cotton granny panties one size up.

  I didn’t recognize any of the shit he pulled out, but it left me in no doubt that Green was still anticipating our needs even if he was a little absent right now.

  And that thought cheered me a little. Made it possible to grab some fruit and toast for breakfast, and leeched the resentment out of my kiss to Green as we left.

  Bracken and Nicky had already loaded into the car, and Nicky had already laid a hearty kiss on our leader that actually made me a little hot under the collar—it had been a couple of days, hadn’t it?—and I stopped in front of him. The living room was full. Connor, Dylan, and Cami were sitting on the couch doing homework. Jacky was already out in the SUV, and Teague and Katy were getting ready for Teague to drive Katy to work. Lambent was sketching something on the big map that had taken over the kitchen table—the one we used to keep track of funky werewolves—with Whim giving him directions, and Charlie was sitting in a chair next to him playing with Lambent’s pencil with an idle paw. Lambent must have had a soft spot for Whim and Charlie, because Whim was being vague, Charlie was being annoying, and neither of them was on fire.

  And Arturo was leaning against the kitchen counter, glaring at Green as though he’d done something wrong.

  I ignored all of that. My focus had totally narrowed, and for the first time since Adrian had brought me here, it was like the hill had completely disappeared and all that mattered was me and my lovers. The. End.

  It was a strangely liberating feeling.

  “We have to talk,” I said baldly, holding Green’s hands.

  He grimaced and then smiled gently, his perfect, clean-lined, beautiful features almost beatific. “Sure, luv. Pencil me in when you can manage—”

  “Stop,” I ordered, my voice thick in my throat. “Don’t pretend you haven’t been avoiding it. It’s not just you and me—it can’t be. It’s affecting Nicky and Bracken, and we affect the whole hill.” I held my hand up to his chest. “Something is here, beloved. Something painful. We are your healers. We’ve discussed this before, and we’ve even used it in physical practice.” Oh, Goddess. I didn’t want to remember that. This summer—I was starting to think it had put the S in Sucked! “But you need to let us heal you. And it needs to happen soon. I’m….” Oh hells. My eyes burned, and the pain of talking through contorted jaw muscles made me even queasier. My voice broke. “I can’t fight on every front, Green. Nicky and Bracken are wonderful, but we’re a family, and we’re missing our cornerstone. He’s… he’s gone underground for some reason. We need him out here.”

  A hot wind passed through the living room, full of static and unrest. Charlie suddenly mrowled and tore out of the room in the way of cats. Connor changed and took off after him. Teague swore, and he and Katy changed to go stop whatever was going on there, and Whim blurred past all of them to keep his beloved Charlie safe.

  And I ignored all of that. I trusted that the people who had been healed and housed in this place would be able to sort things out well enough because of this sidhe—this man—and the things he’d taught us.

  Arturo looked from the two of us to down the hall, and his sigh was a humid forest air that dampened the electricity and soothed the sudden anxiety coursing through us all. Without so much as a grunt, he turned down the hall—presumably to help things shake out okay—and left Green and me alone together.

  “You can’t do that anymore,” I said, exhausted by keeping this loneliness inside. “You can’t keep things from your mates and expect it to be okay. Look what you just did! We—all of us—need a handle on this, or it’s going to destroy us, okay?”

  Green nodded, sober as a child, and then embraced me, hard and tight. “I have so few good words for this,” he whispered against my hair.

  “You need them,” I said, unrelenting. “I’ll go to Adrian if I have to, but don’t make me.” I didn’t want to mention that Adrian hadn’t shown up the night before, or that I’d needed him something fierce.

  The look on Green’s face told me there was something there to worry about, but then he framed my face with his hands and suddenly even Adrian disappeared.

  “We will talk,” he vowed. “You’ll be too tired tonight—I know that. But I’ll be there when you sleep and when you wake up. You’re right, beloved. We need closure on this, or I’ll be left behind on the adventure.”

  He held his palm to my abdomen and closed his eyes. Peace flowed over him, and by touch, through me. All of the kinked-up muscles in my back and neck relaxed, and some of the ever-present nausea faded too.

  A small smile found its way across my face. “That’s nice,” I purred.

  “Good,” he said, his own smile soothing me as much as the peace. “You’ll carry this all the way down the hill, yes?”

  I nodded. If it was Green’s healing, he could make it so.

  “And no more throwing up,” he cautioned.

  I shook my head, perfectly willing to take suggestions if it meant Bracken didn’t have to swerve to the side of the canyon road and let me puke my guts out in the red dust of the road’s shoulder.

  “Kk, Green. Hear you.” Yeah, he was using subtle elf mojo on me. And you know what? Didn’t care. For once I was content to let some of the fight and fear seep out of me. For once I was content to let Green take more than his share of the worry.

  “I love you, Corinne Carol-Anne Kirkpatrick op Crocken Green,” he said very seriously.

  “I love you, Green.” Our alpha and omega. Our protector and our healer. How could we not love our Green?

  He swept me up in his arms, holding me like a child while I wrapped my legs around his hips and rested my head on his shoulder. He deposited me in the SUV, leaning against Bracken, and didn’t object when Renny slithered in, dressed in girl clothes, and took Nicky’s place, forcing him into the backseat.

  “She misses you,” he said softly. I nodded, docile.

  Green had given me peace and promises. For him, I’d even talk girl-speak to my girlfriend. I knew it could be done.

  RENNY TURNED cat in her clothes, her tail poking through the leg of her shorts. I’d been anticipating her wanting to talk or something—she’d been trying to draw me into one of those “So how does it feel?” conversations reminiscent of high school students talking about their first sex for weeks.

  But not this time.

  This time she just leaned against me in cat form and licked my ear. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pushed my nose against her whiskers.

  “It’s scary,” I whispered under Brack and Nicky’s continuing discussion about going to the authorities because my teacher hated women. “I know I should be excited about babies, but I can’t even think about people in there. I just know my body keeps betraying me whenever I need it, and I worked this whole time to be a good leader, and now my job seems to be to just… gestate. Nobody warns you about that, you know?”

  She kept licking my ear, and I scratched her behind her ears. As the SUV rumbled over the great double bridge that spanned the canyon, she became a girl again. I kept my arms around her, and she laid her head on my shoulder.

  “Now you did,” she said softly. “Warn me. Now I know. Thanks.”

  I laughed a little, my breath fuzzing her ponytail. “I am woefully underprepared for motherhood.” Sometimes you have to state the obvious.

  “You have Grace,” she said, not moving. “Bracken’s mom. When you get closer, you’ll start seeing the babies and not the pain.”

  I swallowed, and the past summer came back to slam me one more time. “You do remember what happened to the last kid in my care, don’t you?”

  It hadn’t been Gretchen’s fault. She’d been assaulted by a vampire pedophile. Horrible, horrible things happened to children who became vampires—and the choice for what to do with them was equally horrible. Keep them in captivity, feral, eating their own regenerating flesh in madness, or kill them cleanly and without pain.


  Simple—unless you knew the child, had combed her hair and reminded her constantly about what it meant to be human. Green and I had been lucky. We’d taken her from Grace’s arms, sat with her, and watched the sunrise.

  Phillip had bonded himself to her, imposed his will on her to keep her from going feral. We’d had hope, a scant hope, that we could still save her. And then we’d seen her future.

  I felt a punch of self-loathing. Phillip needed me. The vampires all needed me—I was bound to them by the mark Adrian had left on my soul as he died—and I was not just unavailable, I couldn’t even keep vampire’s hours anymore.

  “Stop thinking,” Renny whispered, turning to kiss my cheek. I half expected her to lick my ear, girl form or not. “You protected us, and we’re your children too. If you do half as good with the people in your tummy, you’ll be fine.”

  “I’ve got no image of them,” I told her with a sigh. “All I can hold on to is my next iced coffee.”

  “Mm,” she said dreamily. “Let’s get the kind with the caramel and cinnamon. Okay?”

  I nodded. “You understand,” I told her, almost tearful.

  “Oh, yeah.” She nodded seriously. “I’m totally on board the coffee train. Best decision ever.”

  We got to Rocklin, with a Target shopping center that hadn’t been there when I’d been going to Sierra Community College. But it was there now—and we were so grateful, because it had that holy of holies, the almighty Starbucks. Yes, we were all children of the Goddess, but at this point, we were all worshippers of the almighty bean.

  Hell—this morning I might even try a breakfast panini, right?

  WRONG.

  By the time we got to the college, it was all I could do to open the door and scramble out so I could run and throw up on a light pole.

  Bracken was right there, holding out a water bottle and a towel.

  “So, breakfast panini?” he asked grimly.

  “Off the list,” I confirmed. “Do we still have clothes in the back?” We packed extras in the SUV because, well, blood, water, fire—all sorts of things happened to whatever we were wearing when we went out and dealt with supernatural forces.