Out on the Sound

by R. E. Bradshaw

  Decky didn’t think. There was no time. She balled up her fist and knocked the living shit out of Lynne. Lynne flew backwards off her feet, landing with a thud. Blood started spurting from her face. “I think you broke my fuckin’ nose!”

  Decky stepped forward and placed the one remaining crutch on Lynne’s chest, holding her down. She had forgotten Charlie was standing there. Decky glared down at Lynne with mother bear ferociousness. “If you ever come near her again, your nose won’t be the only think broken. Do you understand? Whether she is with me or not, she sure deserves better than you, you arrogant ass.”

  A noise from the hall broke the spell Decky was under. She looked up, but never took the crutch off Lynne’s chest. She saw Charlie, who looked so stunned she might pass out, surrounded by Brenda and twenty or so of the biggest women at the party. It appeared Brandi had sounded the alarm loud and long.

  Decky casually removed the crutch from Lynne’s chest. “Brenda, I think your guest has had too much to drink and I do believe she is bleeding on your new carpet.”

  “Oh, hell. Damn it, girls get in there and get her off my carpet. Take her out in the front yard. Take her home. Who gives a damn? Just get her out of here.”

  Decky thought she actually saw a few of the lesbians’ eyes brighten. Brenda was right, they did think with their crotches.

  Decky moved out of the way, while the still bleeding Lynne was helped off the floor. As they took her past Charlie, Lynne said through bloody hands, “Do you see what she did to me? She’s a maniac. I didn’t do anything.”

  Charlie looked hard at Lynne. “I heard what you said.”

  Lynne countered, “What, what did you hear?”

  Charlie simply said, “Enough.”

  Lynne was not to be thwarted, “Come on Charlie, you know I didn’t mean it.”

  Brandi pushed Lynne toward the front door. “Oh, would you just shut the fuck up.”

  Bloodshed over, the remaining onlookers left Charlie and Decky alone in the hallway. Decky was leaning against the wall, trying to hold her ankle off the floor. She had stepped full force into that punch right down on her ankle. She looked at Charlie who had tears in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was standing there trying to reason with her, and then I just lost it. I really am sorry. Please don’t be mad.”

  “All my life, I waited for a knight in shining armor just like in the picture books we read as girls, but I thought after my honor had been restored, I would be carried off on a white horse. Who knew it would be a woman with one bad leg and no horse?”

  “I’ll buy you a horse.” Decky was beginning to grin now, her dimple showing.

  “I don’t want a horse, but two legs would be nice. I mean, I would like to be carried to bed sometime.”

  Decky started hopping for her other crutch, “We have to leave, now! Come on Dixie.”

  Dixie too had heard the alarm sounded, and had left her pile of rib bones to stand with Charlie when the whole thing had gone down.

  Charlie was startled. “Why, what’s wrong?”

  Decky bent down and grabbed the other crutch. When she looked up, she was smiling broadly. “Nothing’s wrong, I just have to start rehabbing this ankle right away.”

  Charlie sighed with relief, when she realized Decky was teasing her. “What’s your hurry?”

  “I have this lady friend and I promised to make all her dreams come true. She wants to be carried to bed, so I have to get my feet back under me and there’s no time to lose.”

  Charlie slid under Decky’s shoulder to help her walk. “Right now, I’d settle for an elevator ride.”

  PART II

  Hurricane Lizzie

  …don’t be fooled by the eye of the storm.

  Chapter Seven

  Decky and Charlie slept late. When Decky tried to sit up, she immediately fell back into her pillow. She grabbed the sides of her head; afraid the contents might burst out of her eyes if she opened them. Her movements awakened Charlie and Dixie. She could feel Charlie moving beside her and she could hear Dixie doing her morning, “I need to go out” tap dance beside the bed. Both activities were normally unobtrusive, but this morning was quite different. With every movement of Charlie’s body, Decky’s brain slammed into the sides of her skull, and the tapping sounded like the opening of 42nd Street with the volume on max.

  “Oh, Jesus.” She wasn’t just saying it. Decky was really calling on anyone who could make the throbbing stop. She pulled her knees up and recalled quite suddenly that her ankle felt like a swollen eggplant and looked a lot like one too. When she put her legs back down too quickly, the movement reverberated through her body, multiplying her symptoms.

  “Morning, Sugar Ray,” Charlie said into Decky’s chest, as she lightly laid her head down, giving Decky a soft squeeze.

  Decky only moaned and rolled her head on the pillow, still with palms pressed tightly against her temples. The rolling caused another moan, this one longer and louder.

  Charlie was now just inches from her face, coming in for closer inspection of her potential patient. Decky knew this because she could hear Charlie’s breathing over her.

  “It could be worse, Decky. You could have eaten the worm.” She was enjoying this.

  Decky pleaded with a hoarse, dry voice, “Oh, please don’t make me laugh, it might kill me.”

  “Open your eyes.”

  “I can’t, my eyes might pop out from the pressure,” Decky refused.

  Charlie ran her finger along the knuckles on Decky’s right hand. The image of Lynne’s face, when Decky swung at her, popped on the viewer in Decky’s head. Then the hit and follow-through came fast, as Charlie pressed on her swollen knuckles. Decky saw it over and over in her mind in rapid succession.

  “I think you bruised your knuckles, can you move your fingers?” Charlie said this while trying to pry Decky’s hand away from her head.

  Decky wiggled the fingers of her right hand. “Don’t pull it off. It’s the only thing keeping my brain inside.”

  “Stay right here. I’ll go get something to make you feel better.” Charlie scooted off the bed.

  “Easy, easy. Don’t shake the bed too much.” Decky dropped her hands to settle the bed, then remembering her head, quickly returned them to their previous position.

  She assumed Charlie left, because she could hear Dixie’s claws descending, clicking down the stairs. How she had gotten into this condition played out in her mind. Some of it was a little hazy and after Charlie put her in the car to go home was a complete mystery. She had no idea how she got upstairs or where her clothes were. Taking a chance, she squinted, opening one eye.

  When her brain didn’t explode, she slowly opened both eyes and stared at the ceiling. Her eyes crawled around the room and settled on the painting above the staircase. It was painted to appear as though the stairs continued indefinitely into darkness. Decky longed to mount the stairs and start climbing. She had punched a woman in front of God knows how many people. Everyone in the county would know all the gory details by Sunday evening, excluding the facts, to be determined later.

  Lizzie was due back, so today would be the day the shit hit the fan, she was sure. It would take a skilled gossip like Lizzie an hour, at the most, to catch wind of this. Maybe she could avoid a confrontation by hiding at Charlie’s house. She definitely had to call Zack. She knew he was going to be fine with the Charlie part of the equation, but finding out from one of his friends would not make him happy.

  Her relationship with Zack was built on trust and personal responsibility. He was required to be responsible for his own actions, own up to mistakes and poor decision-making, and never lie to his mother. He had expected the same. It had been just the two of them, so she had to be father, mother and best friend. They had to look out for each other and be responsible with each other’s dreams and fears. She had to be responsible now. She owed him that, he was such a cool young man.

  They were due for their w
eekly phone call this evening, but she was afraid to wait. She may have seen a cell phone or two in the crowd of onlookers at the end of the hall. There could be pictures. The throbbing in her brain was subsiding slightly. She tried to sit up again and was pleased actually to make it this time. Her ankle stuck out from under the sheet. The gold sheets accented the shades of deep purple, green and blue displayed on her skin.

  She looked at her knuckles and massaged the hand. Decky may have been embarrassed to have such a personal incident happen in front of so many people. She wasn’t, however, sorry. Charlie had not been mad at her for losing her temper. In fact, she had been pleased at her hero knight. Something about buying Charlie a horse flashed in her mind.

  Decky found the crutches propped on the wall beside the bed. She didn’t remember putting them there, but she was glad they were. She went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and washed her face. She was back in the bed by the time Charlie returned with a bed tray, which she sat down in front of Decky.

  “I know it doesn’t look like much, but in my experience it has worked well. First, I want you to take this Zantac and Advil with ice water. Then you are going to eat at least one piece of dry toast with this small glass of orange juice. You have to be careful with the juice. You get too much acid in your stomach and we’re right back where we started.”

  Decky followed Charlie’s instructions as they were being given.

  Charlie continued, “After you finish the toast, you can have a pop if you like. You need to get up and sit out on the deck. You need to replenish your fluid, sugar and oxygen levels in order to come back from a bout with Jose Cuervo. Been there, done that.”

  Dixie jumped up on the bed with the Sunday News and Observer in her mouth. She had been doing this routine on her own since discovering that if the paper came in the house, food would soon be served. It was a Sunday morning ritual she enjoyed immensely, sitting for hours, looking at the paper, munching on a long glorious breakfast. She had waited downstairs, but when she didn’t smell bacon, she had gone in search of answers.

  Decky, who had been munching on dry toast as instructed, took a sip of orange juice and said, “Okay, if we’re going to sit on the deck, you have to do three things.”

  Charlie had taken the paper from Dixie and hugged her, “Good girl.” Dixie smiled and did the princess wag. She had fallen in love with Charlie, too.

  Charlie gave her attention back to Decky, “Okay, what three things?”

  “First, I really would prefer to do it fully clothed, and second I’m going to need sunglasses, dark ones.”

  Charlie laughed, “Okay, that’s reasonable. What’s the third thing? I know it’s not sex, because that might kill you.”

  “You have to cook the newspaper delivery girl some bacon.”

  #

  Decky called Zack from her cell phone, after getting settled in, on the deck. Charlie took the princess down to prepare her breakfast, only after admonishing Decky for feeding the dog outside of standard veterinary recommendations. The conversation with Zack had gone well. She was sure he would have questions later, but he was the kind of kid who mulled things over for a while before making decisions. She had not asked him, nor had he offered to speak to Charlie. Decky thought he should meet her in person, so Charlie and Decky would fly up to Alaska later this month.

  Charlie brought eggs and bacon with more toast and offered Decky a Dr. Pepper. “I found this in the back of your refrigerator. The fizz might help with the fog and the sugar can’t hurt. Did you know alcohol can lower your sugar levels? I brought a Gatorade for you, too. It replenishes electrolytes.”

  Decky put down the paper she had begun to read, “I thought you taught math?”

  “I do, but I minored in HPER with an emphasis in coaching, lots of health classes. Brenda and I actually did a class demonstration on how to recover from a hangover. She, of course, was the person with the hangover and I had to do all the talking.”

  Decky picked food off of Charlie’s plate with the extra fork Charlie had given her. They shared the breakfast and read the paper until Decky needed a nap. She had to replenish her energy levels too, because Miss Lizzie’s arrival was eminent. Charlie needed to go to the cottage to check on Miss Kitty.

  “Wait, I’ll go with you. I would sleep better at your house anyway. Lizzie would never think to look there, unless she gets it out of Brenda or the twins. She is not above bribery.”

  Charlie had not met Lizzie. She had only heard vague references to mental problems and personality disorders. That is why she said, “Decky, I can’t believe you are a thirty seven year old woman hiding from your mother. I know it is hard to disappoint them and that’s what it comes down to. Our parents’ dreams for us did not include this type of sleeping arrangement. It’s better to just get it over with.”

  Decky was amused at her naiveté. “How would you know? You haven’t told your parents.”

  “It’s different. My parents don’t want to know. From what you have said, your mother has made it her business to know all there is to know about everybody. She is going to come calling.”

  Decky knew this was true, still she persevered, “I am making the responsible decision not to have this confrontation and it will not be, you can bet your sweet ass on that, while I am in this wounded condition. I wouldn’t be able to get away from her when the objects start flying.”

  “So you think it’s a better idea to let her track you to my house. The proverbial scene of the crime?” Charlie was gathering the breakfast things.

  “Look, I know her methods. She will get home and call her friend Bobbie. Maybe Bobbie hasn’t heard anything yet, maybe she has. Anyway, she will tell my mother as soon as she finds out. Now, that can be on the cell phone or after she gets home. Either way she hangs up with Bobbie and tries to call me, at every number she has. She then will get in her car and come straight over here. If I’m with you, she will not be able to find me. She will question the twins, who will tell her I left in a BMW. She doesn’t know your car, but she will find someone who does. She will go straight to Brenda’s. Brenda will resist, but the force of Lizzie will prevail. She will then come to the cottage, where at least, if I can get down the stairs, I will be able to swim away.”

  Charlie stopped on the stairs. “You mean you would bail on me and leave me to deal with her?”

  “If you are there by yourself, what can she say? You say, you haven’t seen me and ‘my, how do such rumors get started’? You play innocent. Don’t, however, make eye contact.”

  “You want me to lie to your mother? The woman whose name will be on my check.”

  “It’s okay. It won’t hold up in court, everyone will agree it was in self-defense. Fear of an eminent life threat.”

  “Is she really that bad, Decky? Joking aside, how bad is this going to get?”

  “They have tornados out in Oklahoma, don’t they? Well we have hurricanes. They are both destructive. However, I give it to the hurricane, because it can spawn its own tornados and last at least a week. Around here people call my mother Hurricane Lizzie, behind her back. So, if I were you, I’d take storm precautions right away.”

  The phone rang. Charlie panicked, “My God, that could be her. Don’t answer it.” Her eyes darted about the room. “You don’t have a video phone in here do you?”

  “It’s okay. I’m not going to answer it.”

  “Good. I’m leaving before she gets here. I’ll take my car. You can get there any way you want, but I’m headed for neutral territory.”

  Dixie took off after Charlie down the stairs. Decky called after them, “See, even the dog knows it’s time to run, she’s leaving with you.”

  #

  Blam, Blam, Blam. Something was disturbing Decky’s sleep. Blam, Blam, Blam. The sound of someone kicking the storm door at Charlie’s cottage was trying to filter through heavy, deep waves of sleep. She kept trying to wake up, but she couldn’t. She could see the surface and she was swimming hard, but the sleep kept pulling her do
wn. The blam, blam switched to rapping on the window above her head.

  “Decky Bradshaw! I know you are in there. Let me in or I’m going to break down the damn door. What in the hell is wrong with you? I know what you….” Lizzie’s voice faded as she went down the walls of the house banging on every window, still screaming to be let in.

  Oh shit! Charlie was also awake and holding a finger on her lips, pleading with her eyes for Decky not to make a sound. It was dark outside. Decky would not have gone to sleep, if she had known Charlie wasn’t going to stand guard. Now they were naked in Charlie’s bed without mode of escape. Why hadn’t she installed that damn escape ladder? Her mother would break the door down or at least throw a deck chair through a window. There was no time to explain. She just hoped Charlie would follow her lead.