Regret (Never Waste a Second Chance Book 2)

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  He shut off the water and followed along as she gently led him, her index finger still caught on the waistband of his jeans. He tried to stay calm as she sat down and tugged him down beside her.

  Over the past few weeks he tried convincing himself she might not even be interested in this sort of thing. Maybe she just wanted companionship and company. Both things he was more than capable of giving her.

  But every moment they spent together brought more subtle hints that was not the case and tonight it appeared she was done being subtle. The reality was this was going to happen eventually and sooner was better. That way, it wouldn’t hurt so much when she rejected him.

  “You look pale.” Her eyes widened as she studied his face. She scooted away from him. “I didn’t mean to…” She folded her hands in her lap. “Please don’t leave. I’ll keep my hands right here. I promise.”

  Holy shit. It never occurred to him that as much as he was picking up on her signals, she was also picking up on his. And obviously he was coming across loud and clear.

  How in the fuck did he end up here? He was a man for Christ’s sake. He was supposed to be the one who promised to keep his hands to himself. He was the one who was supposed to be doing the chasing, the touching, the seducing. Oh God.

  He was the woman.

  He sat up straight. No fucking way could this go on. Nancy needed a man. She wanted a man. She deserved a man. And last time he checked, he was a man, even if the dick between his legs was unreliable at best.

  He leaned across the couch and caught her around the waist, running his hand up the middle of her back to tangle in her hair as he used his knee for leverage, ignoring the pain the movement caused. He drug her under him, pressing her into the couch as he caught his weight on his arms.

  He didn’t kiss her right away. Instead he let himself enjoy everything about these first few seconds. The first few seconds of things being what they should have from the beginning. The feel of her body under his, her hands gripping his shoulders, her hair between his fingers, her scent, her breath, her eyes on his.

  He waited as long as he could, until not feeling her lips under his became almost painful. Slowly, he leaned down. Her eyes fluttered closed, her lashes dark against the pink flush of her cheeks. A flush that was there because of him.

  He gently brushed his lips across hers, keeping his eyes open, wanting, needing to watch her every second. He pressed harder. Her lips parted immediately. He loved the taste of her. He tipped his head taking the kiss deeper.

  She sighed into his mouth as her body relaxed under his. Her hands went to fork into his hair as she pushed up against him, bringing her breasts against his chest.

  Suddenly all he could think of was the feel of them under his hands. He pushed up the silky top she wore until her pale pink bra peeked out at him. He leaned up as he finished exposing the thin lace garment. The fabric was almost transparent. He could barely see the dark ring of her hardened nipples and he knew having them in his hands would not be enough.

  Nancy’s breathing sped as she watched him hook his finger under the lacy edge and pull, freeing her breast from its confines, then repeated the action on her other breast.

  She held perfectly still as he looked at her, bared to him.

  “Beautiful.” He leaned down and pulled one deep pink tip into his mouth.

  Nancy gasped as her fingers dug into his scalp.

  Gently he ran his teeth across the nipple before softly stroking the tender flesh with his tongue. She moaned softly.

  “That feels so good.” Her voice was husky and breathless as she writhed under him.

  Oh, he was going to make her feel good. He released her and kissed his way up her neck to stop at her ear.

  “Can I touch you?” He slid his hand down her belly so she would understand what he was asking permission for.

  “Yes. Please.”

  He quickly unhooked her pants with a thumb and a finger and slipped his hand inside. It might have been years since she’d been touched in the way he planned on touching her. He should be gentle with her. He should take his time. But he couldn’t.

  He needed to feel her, make her come. Show her he could give her things no one else could.

  He used his knee, parting her legs. He slid his fingers into her panties and immediately sank them deep inside her. She was slick and hot and tight making him groan as he imagined how good she would feel on his dick. If it wasn’t such a lazy bastard. He shoved the thoughts of his shortcomings to the side and focused on something he could control. Her coming.

  He pulled his fingers back out and spread wetness up and down her slit, rubbing over her clit with each pass he made, dragging a soft moan from deep in her throat. She arched her back, pushing her breasts to him, making it impossible to resist filling his mouth once again.

  He licked and nipped at her tightly puckered nipples as he slowly slid his fingers in and out, letting the pad of his thumb rub circles in time with the thrusts. So quickly he felt a tug of disappointment, her thighs began to shake where they pressed against his. Seconds later, her fingers pulled tight in his hair and her body tensed.

  He slid inside her body as deep as he could, wanting to feel every bit of her as she clenched around him, coming hot and hard against his hand until she went slack beneath him, her arms heavy as they dragged down to rest across his back.

  “I--” Her eyes were closed as she struggled to catch her breath. “That--”

  Hopefully her lack of complete sentences was a sign she liked what he did to her because his options were more limited than he cared to admit. Unfortunately his bag of tricks was missing one pretty significant tool.

  ****

  Nancy refolded her napkin and set it on the table. Showing up half an hour early was backfiring in a major way. The time was supposed to give her a chance to collect her thoughts, but instead her anxiety about this meeting with her sister now had ample time to grow into a monster that was chewing her guts into tiny bits.

  It didn’t surprise her when Carol called first, beating her to the punch. Her phone number was on the sign to the farmer’s market making it an easy thing to come by for vendors wanting to rent space. Unfortunately, it didn’t bode well for her hopes that Carol was a different person than the self-centered, confrontational, dismissive woman she was before.

  Nancy was hoping for a little more time to really process the fact that her sister was back but Carol didn’t appear to want to give it to her, pushing Nancy to make time to see her.

  And she did because ready or not, Nancy wanted to hear what Carol had to say. What explanation she had for sleeping with Sam. What possible reason she could concoct for abandoning Rich. That’s why she was here. To give Carol a chance to explain and maybe even apologize.

  Not that it would be believed, but at least it would be something. Maybe it would even help Nancy keep moving forward.

  Unless of course it pushed her violently backward into the past she was working so hard to get over.

  The bell on the diner door chimed. Nancy looked up as Carol walked in, looking around. When she saw Nancy she smiled, uncertainty heavy in her eyes, keeping her lips tight as she walked toward the table.

  “Hi.” Carol slid her expensive looking buttery leather purse across the booth seat before sliding in beside it. “How are you?”

  “Fine.” Nancy forced a smile and resisted the urge to automatically reciprocate. How Carol was didn’t matter to her. Not right now anyway.

  “How is your foot?”

  “It is also fine.” Nancy studied her sister. She hadn’t really taken the time to look at her the other day. She looked hard. The lack of movement in her forehead and around her eyes did nothing to help matters.

  Carol shifted in her seat. “That’s good. How did you hurt it?”

  “I tripped.” This small talk was getting old. Nancy didn’t want to chat about the weather. She was here for one reason and one reason only.

  To decide if she should even consider letti
ng Carol back in her life. In all of their lives.

  “Why are you here Carol?” Nancy leaned back in her seat, waiting. Dealing with her sister was always a delicate balance and there was no reason to expect it to be any different now.

  As a teenager all it took was one wrong word and Carol would blow up, stomp her feet and say vicious hurtful things until Nancy backed off, letting her younger sister win. It just wasn’t worth the fight.

  But times had changed.

  She had changed.

  Now there were things worth fighting for.

  Carol took a deep breath, her eyes never leaving Nancy. “I told you. I came back to help you.”

  Nancy raised one eyebrow. “No.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on the table between them. “I want to know why you’re really here.”

  Carol swallowed and her eyes widened almost imperceptibly. She licked her lips as the seconds ticked by, her eyes never wavering.

  But Nancy’s didn’t either. Not until their stare down was interrupted by a waitress taking drink orders.

  Finally, when the waitress left to get their colas, Carol cleared her throat. “My life has become complicated and it made me start looking back at the things I’ve done.” She took her glass from the waitress before the woman could even set it on the table and swallowed a few gulps before continuing. “It was a difficult thing to realize it was my own fault I was miserable.”

  Nancy looked at her expensively groomed sister. Between a perfect haircut, pricey clothes and immaculate manicure, it was tough to imagine her life could be that difficult. By all appearances, Carol had everything she’d wanted.

  Money.

  “Exactly how has your life become complicated?” Nancy couldn’t keep the skepticism from her voice. Not that she tried.

  Carol shrugged. “I have been with the same man for a while now and I’m just not sure it’s working for me anymore.”

  “That’s why you’re back here?” Nancy opened her straw and dropped it into her glass. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she came here, but so far Carol was leaving her underwhelmed. No apology. No real explanation. And most importantly, only a vague sense of ownership over her actions. Even then, only in how they affected her own life.

  It was looking like the same old Carol was sitting in the booth across from her.

  “That’s part of it. I really did want to come back for a long time, but I figured it would do more harm than good. When I heard about…” She swallowed. “When I heard you’d lost Thomas, I thought maybe now was my chance. I could help you. Try to make up for all the pain I caused when I left.”

  Nancy shook her head. “That’s not really an option for you anymore.” The person she hurt the most was gone.

  Carol’s eyes dropped to her lap.

  “Do you know how Rich died?” Nancy wasn’t going to give her sister a break because she was sad. Nancy was sad all the time and Carol needed to know just how deep the results of her actions ran. How huge the fallout of her decisions was for people besides herself.

  “I heard he was trying to hurt Thomas.” Carol’s voice was low as she looked at her hands.

  “He tried to kill Thomas. More than once.”

  Carol nodded. “Because he wanted the money from the farm.” She looked up. “Money he wouldn’t have gotten anyway.”

  “I thought you might come home when dad died.” Nancy needed to change the subject before she became emotional. Rich was still a difficult topic, especially with the person she blamed most for his death sitting in front of her.

  Carol took a deep breath. “I know. I just didn’t think it would do anyone any good.”

  “Where have you been all this time?”

  The waitress arrived with the two slices of pie they ordered before her sister could answer the question.

  Carol rubbed her hands together before grabbing her fork. “Oh my gosh this looks good.” She took a bite and rolled her eyes dramatically. “It is good.” She chewed for a second then gave a little snort. “Do you remember when we tried to make rhubarb pie and it ended up being soup?”

  Nancy was beginning to wonder if she would ever get the answers she was looking for out of Carol. She chewed her own pie slowly, listening to her sister babble about some pie making fiasco they had as children and wondering if her sister was actually sorry for the things she’d done.

  And where that answer would leave her.

  SEVENTEEN

  Beth’s glass hung in the air, frozen halfway to her parted lips. Her clear blue eyes were wide with the shock resulting from the blow Nancy just hurled at her.

  Nancy was up all night thinking long and hard about how to tell Beth that Carol was not only alive and breathing, but back in town to upheave both their lives.

  At least it kept her mind off the fact that she hadn’t heard from Paul in a few days, but if it meant an easier life for Beth and the girls, she would have happily laid in bed crying on her pillow over the man.

  Maybe not happily.

  Nancy looked around the high-top bar table, waiting for one of the other women to say something. That was why, after much deliberation, she decided the best way to tell Beth about Carol was with Autumn and Mina, and it wasn’t only for Beth. She would need the support of her friends as much as Beth would.

  Beth set her glass back on the table as the look of shock on her face twisted into one of confusion. She looked from face to face. First Mina, then Autumn, until finally Beth’s gaze landed on Nancy. Her expression changed once again. This time to concern.

  “Are you okay?”

  Mina and Autumn turned to look at Nancy, then back at Beth. Finally Autumn leaned in to Beth and looked back toward Nancy. “I don’t think she heard you.”

  Beth cocked one eyebrow. “She heard me. She just doesn’t want to admit she’s not okay.”

  Nancy slouched in her chair. “It’s not that I’m not okay. I just can’t believe it and I’ve been so worried you wouldn’t be okay.” Nancy twisted the paper wrapper from her straw into knots. “I just don’t know how to feel about her being here.”

  “Pissed.” Mina’s brows were low as she crossed her arms across her chest.

  Beth shook her head. “Relieved.”

  Mina looked at Beth as if she’d lost her mind. “Relieved? How’s that?”

  Beth shrugged. “Now she can have some answers.” Beth finally took a sip from her forgotten soda then rested her arms on the table and leaned against them. “You have a history with Carol. I don’t.”

  Beth’s eyes were intense as they stayed glued to Nancy. “I think this is a chance for you to get the answers you want from her and really, finally put the past to bed.”

  Was that even possible? And if it was, did she even really want to know? So far the answer to that was no. If she did want to know why Sam and Carol had an affair, Nancy would have looked for the answer in the box of letters her sister carelessly left behind all those years ago, but instead they sat untouched on her bedroom floor. She never made it past the first few.

  Even that was enough to give her a pretty good idea why Sam and Carol were together.

  Ego. But it wasn’t his.

  “I just don’t know if it even matters anymore.” The words sounded half-hearted even to her own ears and her friends picked up on it immediately.

  Mina shook her head and Beth rolled her eyes as Autumn shot her a skeptical look.

  Nancy huffed a sigh. “I don’t know that she would even tell the truth.” Carol was always one who could give a sympathetic spin to anything. Twist things around until the favorable light shined down on her.

  All through high-school, when Nancy’s days of being a stand-in for their mother were no longer appreciated, Carol always had a way of coming out of a manure farm smelling like a daisy. Even the night she spent in jail after a fight with a local boy, which Carol won by the way, disappeared. A case of he-said, she-said.

  Carol said she was protecting another girl from unwanted advances. Of course the
boy she was ‘protecting’ her from was Carol’s boyfriend at the time. After that, the rumor mill around town started buzzing and Carol’s life got a whole lot more interesting.

  “That’s true.” Beth flagged the waitress. “But it would be interesting to see why she’s here.”

  Nancy waited for the waitress to leave with their order before filling Beth in on what little she knew about Carol’s unexpected appearance. “Carol said she came back because Thomas died. She wanted to help me.”

  Beth nodded slowly. “Wrong son.”

  “Yeah.” Nancy swallowed. “I don’t know why she would want to help me now. I needed help when the boys were young. Where was she then?” The anger Nancy worked hard to keep in check since the day Carol showed up on her porch, threatened to rear its ugly head.

  The last thing she wanted to do was waste any more energy on her sister than she had to. Carol didn’t deserve it.

  “Maybe she’s changed.” Beth shrugged. “Then again, maybe she hasn’t. Only one way to find out.”

  Nancy was almost scared to ask. “How’s that?”

  Beth waited as the food arrived, then took a big bite of her salad before explaining. “I think we should have dinner one night. Me and the girls, Mina and Thomas and the kids and you and Carol. That way we can all feel her out, maybe put some pressure on her.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea to have the kids involved until we know just how long she’ll stick around.” Nancy couldn’t bear the thought of Carol hurting more little hearts.

  Beth snorted. “Why? She’s nothing to the kids besides your sister.” Beth stopped with a forkful of salad halfway to her mouth. Her eyes narrowed. “You know you’re their grandma, don’t you?”

  A sudden flood of emotion threatened to ruin Nancy’s appetite and potentially the whole night. Nancy blinked hard as she swallowed mouthfuls of freezing cold cola, trying to calm the tightness in her throat.

  Beth dropped her fork into the salad bowl in front of her. “Shit. This all makes more sense now.” She pointed at Nancy. “Carol is nothing,” Beth swung her finger around the table, “to any of us, or our children. You are their grandmother and our mother-in-law, not her.” Beth paused and looked at Autumn. “Except for her. You’re just her friend.”