Winter Hearts

by A. E. Radley

  “You know, I can't take my eyes off you,” Kit whispered.

  Laura turned to face her, bashfully biting her lip. “You say the sweetest things. I wish I didn’t have to leave. More accurately, I wish I could take you with me everywhere. Does that sound clingy? Or weird?”

  Kit smiled. “I'm usually the one asking you that. But no, it sounds great actually.”

  Laura rescued her phone from the bottle of perfume that had fallen on it. Then she walked over and sat down on the bed next to Kit. “Maybe when things quiet down at Gage Farm and this infernal Christmas market is over, we can take a holiday somewhere? Just you and me. I don’t care where we go, as long as I can be with you and not have all these interruptions.”

  Kit reached out and adjusted the lapel on Laura’s suit jacket. “I’d like that. Or maybe we should simply hide all the phones and stay in this bed for a month?”

  Laura smiled and leaned down for a kiss. When their lips parted again, Laura’s mobile rang.

  “Speaking of phones,” Kit quipped.

  Laura glared at her mobile as if it had slapped her with a wet mop. Her knuckles were white where she gripped it.

  “Um, baby?” Kit ventured. “You do know you can just turn it off, right?”

  “Honestly? I think they’d still find a way to ring me. In fact, I think they’d find a way to ring me even if I was dead and buried in the mausoleum. And that place never has any reception.”

  Kit chuckled at Laura’s despairing joke. “Anyway, you better answer that before we wake your daft brother and he comes stumbling in here.”

  “Yes, I’ll answer it while I head down to the office. Thank you for bringing me food. Both last night and now for breakfast. You’re an angel.”

  She didn’t wait for a reply but hurried out while answering the call. Kit heard her say, “what is it now, Tim?” as she barrelled down the stairs.

  It was only when Kit laid back down on the plush pillows that she realised that they still hadn’t discussed what they were doing for Christmas.

  That lunch hour Kit walked into Pub 42 and headed towards the kitchen, which was the domain of the male owners of the pub. She saw Rachel behind the bar and Shannon waiting tables and gave them both a wave before popping into the kitchen.

  Next to a bowl of dark red cherries, Josh and Matt were arguing over which fruit worked best with duck, cherry or orange.

  Why are they talking about that when the most complicated thing they serve here is quesadillas?

  “Hey guys! Thinking about adding duck to the menu?”

  Josh waved enthusiastically at her while Matt merely laughed and said, “Don’t be daft. No one comes in here for anything more than usual pub grub. No, we were discussing what we’re eating for Christmas since both our families have decided that they’re not actually big fans of turkey.”

  Trying to hide her envy at the thought of a big family Christmas, Kit leaned casually against a wall. “Right, yeah that makes sense. I’m sure it’ll be lovely whatever you choose to eat. Anyway, I didn’t come here to talk about Christmas. Or about food.”

  Josh tilted his head and raised his meticulous, blond eyebrows. “Then what did you come here to talk about, love? You doing all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” Kit adjusted her glasses, realising that she’d now blown any chance of normal small talk leading into quizzing them about Pinky. What was up with her lately? It wasn’t like her to be this frazzled over something like Christmas being a bit rubbish or missing a girlfriend. Sure, she was bad at being alone, but this was getting ridiculous.

  Get a hold of yourself, woman.

  “I’ll come right out and ask this. Did you by chance play a prank on Rachel and Shannon lately? It’ll be our secret if you did.”

  They both stared at her as if she had sprouted big blue mushrooms on her head.

  “A prank? What do you mean?” Matt asked.

  “I mean…” Kit blew out a breath. “If you had joked around with Rachel and Shannon. You know, maybe taken something from them or hidden something?”

  Kit was met with confused blinking from both men, so she elaborated, “You’re bound to have noticed that Shannon and Rachel have been out of sorts in the last couple of weeks, it appears that’s because someone is messing about with them,” Kit improvised.

  The two men looked at each other. Matt shrugged, making Josh turn back to Kit. “Neither of us knows anything about that. Sure, we have a banter-y type of friendship and we’ve played a few practical jokes on them before. But we’re trying to cut down on that sort of behaviour.”

  Kit straightened up. “Now that you mention it, Shannon did say that the two of you are trying to be more serious and grown-up?”

  They looked at each other again and then Matt said, “you might as well tell her, Kit won’t gossip.”

  Josh lit up and soon Matt matched his smile.

  Kit looked back and forth between the two lovebirds. “What's going on here?”

  Josh squealed. “I’m so excited to tell someone! We’ve decided that after New Year’s we’re going to start the process to adopt. We’ve always wanted to be parents but haven’t felt mature enough to take on the responsibility. Now, we’ve decided that we are.”

  “Or at least getting there,” Matt corrected. “Which means we’re not in the pranking business anymore.”

  Josh glanced towards the closed door before whispering, “However, I have noticed that something is going on with Rach and Shannon. To be honest, I simply put it down to the usual manic stress around the holiday season.”

  Matt nodded and moved closer to Kit. “Same here. I’m sad to hear it’s something more serious. If there’s anything we can do to help, let us know.”

  Kit reached up and patted his muscular shoulder. “I’m sure if it doesn’t work itself out, they’ll come to you for help themselves. I know they both think the world of you. Anyway, I better get going. Good luck with the duck,” she paused to give them a cheeky grin, “and whatever it is you’re meant to be cooking for work, lazy gits.”

  Pausing the ensuing laughter, Josh threw a pair of cherries at Kit and said, “bugger off and good luck with figuring out what’s bothering Rach and Shannon.”

  Kit caught the cherries and said, “No need for luck. It’s all skill, mate. See you again soon!” She popped both cherries into her mouth, tossed their stem at the still laughing Josh and headed for the door.

  As she came back out into the serving area and nodded a farewell to the busy Shannon, Kit mentally crossed Matt and Josh off the list of suspects. Shannon had been right, it wasn’t them.

  Kit braved the cold again, urgently searching her coat pockets for her gloves. While she spit the cherry pits into a bin, her brain whirred.

  If it wasn’t Matt and Josh who’d taken Pinky, and not Rajesh either, then she was back to Steve’s date, right? Or could it have been someone else? Some visitor that Shannon had forgotten? Someone Rachel had invited when Shannon wasn’t there? Maybe even a burglar? No, they would’ve noticed if they’d have a break-in. Surely no criminal broke in to only steal a vibrating, pink dildo.

  Not without locating the harness to get the whole set at least.

  She sniggered to herself at the thought.

  Maybe Shannon and Rachel haven’t looked everywhere? Perhaps it’ll roll out from underneath the sofa one day? So many questions and here’s me without a single answer.

  Kit walked back towards the library with heavy steps.

  Still no Pinky. Still not enough time with Laura. Still no holiday cheer.

  A shop she passed was blaring out some Christmas song by Elvis. As if to taunt her. It was even more annoying that she couldn’t remember the name of the song.

  She straightened her back and stepped along with more vigour. She had told herself she wouldn’t whinge anymore and she was going to stick to that. She shook her head. It was ridiculous that she still didn’t know if she was celebrating Christmas with her girlfriend. And even more ridiculous that s
he was afraid to ask. What was the worst thing that could happen? That she’d say no? That wasn’t the end of the world.

  Kit pulled her phone from her coat pocket and texted Laura a quick proclamation of love and a clear question of if they would spend Christmas together. Then she pushed the phone deep in her pocket and hurried back to work. When she got to the library door, her mobile vibrated with a reply from Laura.

  Hey dearest

  Please don’t be too angry or disappointed, but the way things are going, especially now with this dispute over the logo, it looks like I’ll be tied up for the foreseeable future. I’ve had to neglect so much paperwork and it’s all mounting up. If I get time for a proper Christmas at home I would certainly like to spend it with you! But there is a risk that we’ll have to do what we’re doing now, steal what moments we can and hope that I can make it up to you after New Year’s. I have to go, we’ll talk more about this later. I love you so very much and I’m awfully sorry for being so rubbish.

  xoxo

  Kit kicked a pebble. At least now she knew. But what did she know? Not more than that Laura would probably be working over the holidays and that any Christmas celebration might be patchy.

  It was a step forward because she knew that Laura wanted to spend the holidays with her, but a step back because it was clear that any Christmas celebration they’d have would need to be improvised. Maybe some presents and a last-minute turkey sandwich? There’d be no Christmas decorating with Laura, no making a yule log with Laura, or picking out crackers to buy for the table. And certainly no discussing whether they’d be watching the Queen’s speech or spend that time playing Clue.

  What Kit’s family had lacked in money to spend on Christmas, they had made up for in time. Spending hours planning and prepping for Christmas together.

  Kit looked up at the cloudy, grey sky. Definitely no holiday cheer this year. But what did it matter? It was only a few days at the end of the year. It shouldn’t matter this much.

  This is your first December in a new place. New job. New people. Everything has changed in your life this year. What you needed was a comfortable, safe, happy Christmas with some rituals you recognised. And to be with people who care about you.

  Kit shook off the melancholy and reminded herself that she wouldn’t whinge. Then she opened the door to the library, at least comforted by the thought that Laura wanted to spend Christmas with her. And if she couldn’t she was going to make it up to Kit. That was the most comforting thought of all, because if there was one thing Kit knew, it was that Laura kept her promises.

  TREACLE AND THE FROTHY-VANILLA-FRAPPE-UNICORN-FOAM

  A few days later the 22nd of December turned up uninvited. Switching off the alarm, Kit blinked awake and stared at the date on her phone, questioning how it could be so close to Christmas. The 22nd of December didn’t seem to care. It had sat down and poured itself a cup of coffee. It was clearly here to stay.

  There was also a text from Rajesh which said:

  Siri, what’s the weather? Remind me to ask Katherine about treacle. Oh blooming heck, where are my trousers? Phyllis! Don’t eat that you dumb dog!

  He’d clearly managed to get his mobile to dictate and then somehow sent it as a text. How? And why was he asking her about treacle? Was that even what he’d said? Kit shook her head as she for the hundredth time wondered why the world let him have a mobile phone.

  She put the phone down, flopped back on her pillow and groaned. Three days until Christmas. At least they were closing the library after lunch on the 24th so she only had a day and a half left of work. After that, she could spend all day reading in bed. Or celebrating Christmas if Laura was free. Kit began inwardly cursing that Laura did so much for Gage Farm and had wasted so much of December on the Christmas market, but she stopped herself.

  You fall in love with someone because of their big heart and then expect them to not give their every second doing stuff for others? Aimee’s right, you’re a plant pot.

  Kit forced herself out of bed. She cleaned up, found some clothes, and headed towards the kitchen for some wake-up juice. After a big mug of tea and some banana porridge, she had just enough time for a couple of quick phone calls before she had to start walking to the library. She started with Laura, figuring that every day should start with hearing that warm, soft voice.

  “Morning, dearest.”

  Kit leaned against the doorpost, happy butterflies in her stomach. “Hey baby. Sleep well?”

  “Not really, I got in late last night. There was a fight downtown and one of the Christmas market huts got damaged. Police Constable Sanders called me down there to assess the damage. I don’t know why that couldn’t wait until daytime, but you know what he’s like.”

  “Yeah. Was everyone okay? What about the stall, I mean hut?”

  “Some minor damage to the hut and to Rob Smith’s face. PC Sanders said it could all be repaired in an hour or so. I think he was referring to the hut.”

  “Good. So that’s why you couldn’t see me last night?”

  “Yes. Well, that and the fact that I had paperwork to do. I’m sorry.”

  Kit softly banged her head against the door post. “Don’t apologise. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

  “You didn’t. My lack of time for you did. It’ll be better after the holidays, I promise. After all, the Christmas market and the launch of our mulled wine will have been dealt with.”

  “True. The neglected paperwork will still be there, though, and the Stevensons’ will still be causing trouble.”

  “Yes, but that is everyday stuff which I can handle and still make time for you.”

  “Great. I look forward to it! Sorry for being so whingy. I finally figured out why, it’s because it’s my first Christmas away from my old life. Which in combination with missing you, means I end up being miserable and clingy as a bleedin’ puppy.”

  “I know, dearest,” Laura said softly. “It’s all such bad timing.”

  Kit ran her finger along the door frame. “Also, l promised to help Shannon with something and I haven’t been able to.”

  “Really? Another of your fixing-a-sticky-situation missions, is it? You haven’t told me about that.”

  “No, there hasn’t been time and I was sworn to secrecy. Although, I’m sure she would be okay with telling you. Or wait, maybe I should ask her first. I need to text or call her before work for an update, I’ll bring it up then. After all, you might have some insight that could help.”

  “I’ll do anything I can to help even if it’s merely being a sounding board.”

  “I know, baby. God, I miss you.”

  “I miss you too. Very much. So… Should I let you get on with calling Shannon before you have to head into the library?”

  Kit looked at her scuffed, old fitness watch. “Bugger! We’ve talked longer than I thought. I’m almost late! I need to get going.”

  “You mean you’re still at home? I thought you were on your way to work?”

  “No,” Kit whimpered.

  “Okay, stay there. I’ll hop in the car, fetch you and then drop you off at the library. You can ring Shannon as we drive?”

  “Calling Shannon can wait. I can’t ask you to pick me up, though, you’re so busy.”

  “I can always take ten minutes out of my morning to drive my girlfriend to work. Get ready, I’ll be there soon.”

  “Thanks,” Kit said before hanging up.

  She threw on her coat and boots, thanking fate for the fact that she lived on the same grounds where Laura worked. All while ignoring the voice in the back of her head which pointed out that now she wasn’t living in London with all its public transport, she should probably get her driver’s license.

  The mud-stained Mini pulled up and Kit saw her girlfriend at the wheel. She hurried out and into the car with a quick “good morning”.

  “Hi lazy little sleep-in,” Laura joked, claiming her hello-kiss before driving off.

  Then there was six glorious minutes of talk
ing about what they’d dreamt and had for breakfast before they arrived at the library. Kit kissed her driver goodbye and promised to text or call at lunch.

  “Have a great day. I love you, Kit Sorel.”

  “Oooh, using my full name? You must be serious.”

  “I am. I’m also parked here illegally so get your fit little bum into the library and I hope to hear from you at lunch.”

  “Count on it, my love. And remember, any free time you have - let me know and I’ll pop in for a quick visit or stay the night or whatever we can manage.”

  “Absolutely. And I’ll keep you posted about how things are looking for Christmas.”

  “You better, especially as it is only days away.”

  There was a honk of a car behind Laura’s. “Will do. Right, I better go. Speak soon, dearest.”

  “Bye Laura.”

  Kit fished out her keys and began the procedure of unlocking the library, humming It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas despite herself.

  The clock struck twelve and Rajesh said, “Go for lunch, Katherine. When you come back, we need to talk about the table by the poetry section.”

  “Table? Aha. That makes a lot more sense than ‘treacle’. Remind me later.”

  He looked confused but she had no time to explain about his weird dictated text. Her rush this morning meant she hadn’t brought lunch, nor called Shannon. And of course, there was the call to Laura. Which took priority as always.

  She pulled her coat on and headed out into town to get some sandwiches and strong tea. Laura didn’t answer her mobile so Kit left a voicemail asking her to ring back. Then she rang Shannon instead, with better luck.

  “Hey Kit.”

  “Hi. You all right, mate?”

  “I’m fine. Really looking forward to Christmas now! I can’t wait for all the holiday food and the presents. Rachel says she bought me something huge. You?”

  Kit stopped to lean against a lamp post and hummed noncommittally.

  “Ah, still haven’t found your holiday cheer?”