Love After War

by Cheris Hodges

  “What are you doing?” Dana asked.

  “Maybe if I give them a statement, they’ll go away.”

  “Yeah, if this was LA,” she whispered as Adrian faced the photographers.

  “Are you really Elliot Crawford’s son?” one of the photographers called out.

  “Listen,” Adrian said. “I’m here on a family matter and I’d appreciate privacy and time to deal with it.”

  “Then why did you put your business out there for CNN?” another photographer snapped.

  “Yeah,” another said. “You can’t ask for privacy now. What happened to your nose?”

  “I don’t have anything else to say.”

  “Did Elliot Crawford die tonight?” a photographer called to Adrian’s retreating figure.

  Dana grabbed his arm when she saw that he was about to charge at the photographer. “Don’t. Let’s just go home and relax.”

  “Yeah,” he replied. “Besides, I need to make some calls.”

  She raised her eyebrow; then she remembered—it wasn’t that late in Los Angeles. “While you do that, I’ll order takeout. And let’s take the subway so your new friends won’t follow us. The last thing I need is a pack of media hounds parking their asses on my stoop.”

  “I’m sorry about this,” Adrian said.

  “For once, you don’t owe me an apology. You’re actually doing the right thing and I’m proud of you.”

  Adrian kissed Dana’s cheek. “I wouldn’t offer that endorsement yet.”

  Dana cast her eyes upward at him. “You didn’t take the blood test?” she asked.

  “I did,” he replied as they walked into the subway station. “But what if I’m a match? How ironic is it that I couldn’t do anything to save the parent who loved me unconditionally, but now I have the chance to save the one who never gave a damn about me?”

  “So, he has leukemia?”

  Adrian nodded. “Neither Solomon nor Richmond are matches for a bone marrow transplant.”

  “And your results aren’t back?”

  “Nope.”

  Dana sighed as she swiped her Metro card, then passed it back to Adrian. He slid the card through the machine and joined Dana through the turnstile. They held hands and headed for the subway platform, falling in line with other riders who didn’t give a damn who they were. Adrian couldn’t have been happier.

  “Does what happened in the hospital change what you’re going to do in regards to your father?”

  Adrian groaned. “I wish I could be pissed off at Solomon, but I stand by the fact that I deserved that. You know, when I started all of this stuff, I had no intentions to be around watching the aftermath.”

  “I’m sure you didn’t.”

  Adrian grinned. “I blame you for this.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You showed me the error of my ways and I have a bloody nose to show for it.” He smiled and gave her a slight nudge. “Maybe I’ll get that on a T-shirt.”

  Before Dana could offer him a smart-aleck reply, the train arrived. “I guess that means I need to clean your nose and feed you so that you’ll have a different message for your T-shirt.”

  He pulled her onto his lap as they took a seat. “Isn’t it a little late for hot dogs?”

  “I’m starving,” she said. “And I put you on the train to take us directly to Gray’s.”

  “Looking like this?” He pointed to the bloodstain on his shirt.

  Dana fanned her hand. “This time of night, if you aren’t drunk or don’t have a little blood on you, people are going to wonder why you’re there.”

  “Sounds classy.”

  Dana leaned her head against his chest. “Well, I’ll make sure I purchase some eggs so that you can make some omelets tomorrow.”

  “Oh no, Miss Singleton. I want you to cook that one dish you’re famous for.”

  She raised her eyebrow, then broke out laughing. “Bow-tie pasta and shrimp.”

  He nodded with a smile on his lips. “Yeah, between my omelets and your pasta, we’re going to need new clothes.”

  “Whatever. This is our stop,” she said.

  She and Adrian exited the train and headed up Broadway, finally making it to the hot dog shop. Dana realized how hungry she was when she smelled the chili and the grilled dogs.

  “Oh my goodness, I’ve missed this place.”

  They stood in line waiting to order and Dana recounted the many nights she and Imani had come here to eat hot dogs and stalk Broadway producers.

  “Your girl was on a mission, huh?”

  “Yes, she was.” Dana laughed. “I’m surprised she hasn’t snagged an endorsement deal.”

  “Ha. That would go over well with the bean-curd crowd in Hollywood.”

  “Well, that carnivore will never join that set.”

  Adrian shrugged as they reached the counter. “I’ve seen stranger things happen.”

  Dana ordered her signature hot dog with extra mustard and sauerkraut. “If that happens to Imani, then the Mayans were right.”

  Once Adrian ordered his dog, they headed outside and started for the subway station. As soon as Dana lifted her hot dog to her mouth, she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She shrugged it off as being hungry and having jet lag. Still, she tried to take a bite of the food. Big mistake. Moments later, she was dropping her hot dog and vomiting on the street. Adrian tossed his hot dog in the trash can and placed his hand on Dana’s shoulder. “If that’s what a good hot dog does to you, I don’t want to know what a bad one does. Are you sure everything is all right?”

  Dana wiped her mouth with a paper napkin and shook her head. “I don’t know what’s going on,” she said.

  “Should we go to the ER?” he asked, then scooped Dana up into his arms.

  “Just take me home,” she said. Instead of waiting for the subway or taking her underground, Adrian hailed a cab like a native. A yellow cab stopped on the corner and Adrian hopped in as Dana rattled off her address to the driver.

  “Brooklyn? I don’t go to Brooklyn this late,” the driver said.

  Adrian handed him a fifty-dollar bill. “Listen, she’s sick and we need to get home fast.”

  The driver took the cash and nodded. He pulled into traffic and Dana’s stomach lurched. She struggled not to throw up again. Adrian rubbed her head and wondered what was going on with Dana. Part of him feared that he’d lose her—to death. He felt as if the universe would spare Elliot but take Dana because he was supposed to learn some kind of lesson. Looking down at her as she rested in his lap, a lightbulb went off in his head. Was she pregnant? He thought about the times they’d been careless with protection. Was he ready to be a father? Was Dana ready for motherhood? More importantly, would she give up that motorcycle for a sensible car with room for a car seat and a trunk to hold a stroller? Where would she want to raise their child? Los Angeles? New York?

  “Excuse me,” Dana said. “Can you drop us off at the Duane Reade on Flatbush Avenue?”

  “Okay,” the driver replied.

  Dana looked up at Adrian and said, “It’s a drugstore.”

  “I kind of figured that.”

  She grinned and shook her head. “I guess we both figured out what might be wrong.”

  “Or what could be right.”

  Dana didn’t respond, but she wanted to ask him how in the world the two of them would raise a child when she lived in New York and had no plans to move to Los Angeles. And as selfish as it seemed, Dana wasn’t sure she wanted to make such a big change in her life and career. With a baby, she couldn’t fly to Paris, LA, and Tokyo for shoots and no more late night trips for hot dogs.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked.

  “I’m scared.”

  He stroked her forehead until she sat up. “Are we ready for this?”

  “We don’t know anything yet, but know this—nothing will keep me from my child.”

  “If there is a child.”

  “Do you want this baby?” he asked. As the words left his
mouth, he felt ill, wondering if this was the kind of conversation his mother and Elliot had had. Dana sighed and stroked the back of her neck.

  “I don’t know,” she whispered. Adrian nearly stopped breathing.

  “So, if you are pregnant . . .”

  “I don’t know that either.”

  “All right,” the driver said, “here’s your stop.”

  Adrian paid the driver as Dana climbed out of the cab. He looked at her standing on the curb and couldn’t help imagining her with her belly full of his son or daughter. But did she want that? Would he be doing the opposite of what his father did all those years ago and have to talk Dana into being a family with him?

  “Who would want to be a part of this circus?” Adrian mumbled as he crossed over to Dana.

  “Let’s get this test and go. Some chips too,” she said as they walked into the store.

  “Maybe you should get some crackers. That’s what they eat on TV.”

  Dana laughed. “We’re so clueless.” They headed to the aisle with the pregnancy tests and condoms. Adrian remarked on how ironic it was that drugstores grouped those items together.

  “If someone had used one, they wouldn’t need the other,” he said as Dana picked up a test.

  “I guess we’ll find out soon if we’re the poster child for this section.” She pointed to a box of Trojans. “We should stock up.”

  Adrian reached for a twelve-pack of Trojan Magnums. “You know those other ones are too small.”

  “Ha! You’re right, though,” she said with a wink.

  “What if we don’t need them anymore?” he asked, growing serious. “If you’re having my baby, I want you to know that I’m behind you one hundred percent.”

  Dana turned away from him, sucking on her bottom lip. “That’s the least of my worries,” she said. “I know you will be a great father. But . . .”

  “You don’t want a baby?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve always dreamed of the traditional family. I never wanted to be someone’s baby’s mother. And then there’s my career.”

  “Is this a New York thing?” he snapped. “Money before children?”

  “Don’t do that to me!”

  “What about what you want to do to me? If you are pregnant, you didn’t make that baby alone.”

  “But if I am and I have this child, I’ll be raising it alone. You live in LA and I’m not moving because you have daddy issues and want to transfer your bullshit to me.”

  A couple of customers glanced their way and Dana stormed to the register. Adrian followed her but kept silent. Before Dana could pull out the cash to pay for the test, Adrian slid his credit card to the cashier. He thought it was a wise decision to leave the condoms on the shelf, since he was sure there would be no sex going on between the two of them anytime soon.

  “I didn’t need you to do that,” she gritted out.

  “I don’t want to fight with you right now,” he replied.

  Dana took her bag and rolled her eyes at him as she headed for the door. They walked the four blocks to Dana’s brownstone in an uncomfortable silence. When they reached the front stoop, she turned to him and sighed. “I have to say this and you can understand or you can let the past cloud your judgment. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to have a baby with you. We were planning a future, remember? Then you left me. Fast forward two years and I’ve changed and you have your demons, so tell me why would I be excited about this situation?”

  “Do you think I want to pass my demons on to my child?”

  Dana felt two inches small. She’d been so worried about Adrian’s so-called dark side that she hadn’t allowed herself to realize he would never let those issues hurt his child. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Pregnant or not, I want a future with you. I need what we should’ve had two years ago. I messed up and allowed anger and the need for vengeance to take over my life. The truth is, we wouldn’t be standing in this cloud of confusion if I had listened to my mother. Life is too short for me to stay angry. Nothing can change the past and what I did to my brothers was wrong. Hurting you was the worst thing that I’ve ever done, but I want you to know how much I love you. I need you, Dana. Whatever that test says, nothing is going to change the fact that I’m going to make you my wife.”

  Dana burst into tears and fell into his arms. Adrian cooed how much he loved her in her ear as he stroked her back. She looked into his eyes and he wiped a tear away from her cheek. “Let’s go inside,” she said. “And I love you.”

  Once the couple made it inside, Dana rushed to the bathroom and opened the test. Her mind was still muddled with thoughts of motherhood. Was she ready? Even knowing that Adrian was all in, she wasn’t sure if she was ready. Reading the instructions, she sighed and sat on the toilet.

  “I can do this,” she whispered. “I can take this test and live with the results.”

  Adrian paced back and forth in Dana’s bedroom. He started to turn the television on when his cell phone rang. He started to ignore the call, but he thought it might be business—until he saw the New York exchange. It had to be the lab.

  “Hello?”

  “Mr. Bryant, this is Lydia Guthrie from Mount Sinai Medical Center.”

  “Yes?”

  “We got the results back from your blood test and, unfortunately, you are not a viable match for a bone marrow transplant for Mr. Crawford.”

  Adrian sighed, feeling a little bit of relief. “Okay. So, what does this mean for him?” he asked as he locked eyes with Dana, who’d just walked into the room holding the Clearblue Easy test stick.

  “We’re going to search the National Bone Marrow registry for a match, unless there is another family member who meets the criteria.”

  “I wouldn’t know about that,” Adrian said as he studied Dana’s face. She was smiling, but was she happy with a negative result? Was she happy because she was pregnant? All he knew was he needed to get off the phone and find out what was going on.

  Chapter 20

  Dana had questions about the tail end of that phone call, but she knew Adrian wanted an answer.

  “So?” he asked.

  “Yes, we’re going to be parents.” She held the stick out to him. Adrian dropped his phone and drew Dana into his arms, spinning her around.

  She placed her hand on his chest. “Hold up. Was that about your father?”

  His excitement dimmed. “Yeah.”

  “Are you—”

  “I’m not a match and I’m not upset about it.”

  Dana placed her hand to her mouth. “Adrian.”

  “I’d be less than honest if I said I’m upset. I hope the hospital finds a donor for Elliot. I don’t want Solomon and Richmond to lose the last parent they have. But I couldn’t save my mother.”

  Dana hugged him and his hurt resonated. “You should talk to him before it’s too late.”

  “You know what,” he said, “I don’t want to think about that right now. I want to kiss my future wife and the mother of my child.”

  He captured her mouth in a hot kiss that made her shiver and her knees quake. Then in the worst moment ever, she felt nauseous. Pulling back, she rushed into the bathroom and wondered if this was going to be the next nine months of her life.

  Adrian had no idea what to do to ease Dana’s nausea, so he walked into the kitchen and brewed her a cup of tea. Though she didn’t have any saltine crackers, Adrian found a box of Ritz. He placed a few on a saucer with the lemon tea and headed into the bedroom. Dana was sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing the back of her neck.

  “All right, Princess Kate, here’s some tea and crackers.”

  Dana offered him a sheepish grin. “Thank you. I have to get it together for my meeting in a few days.”

  Adrian joined her on the bed as she sipped her tea. He took her feet onto his lap and massaged them. Dana moaned in pleasure and she felt her stomach settling down. “I hope this isn’t going to last nine months.”

  “If it does
, we’re going to have to buy more crackers.”

  Dana set her cup and saucer on the nightstand and gave in to the blissfulness of the foot massage. She leaned back on the bed and drifted off to sleep. Adrian dropped her feet and pulled her jeans off and tucked her in. As much as he wanted to push his father out of his mind, Adrian couldn’t shut his mind down and join Dana in a restful sleep.

  The next morning, Dana woke up with no morning sickness and in bed alone. She was low-key pissed off until Adrian walked into the bedroom with a tray of fresh fruit, tea, and orange juice.

  “Morning,” he said as he walked over to the side of her bed and set the tray on the nightstand.

  Dana smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I could get used to this,” she said.

  “Breakfast in bed is my specialty,” he joked. “I also stocked the kitchen with food. No hot dogs, though.”

  “Discovered Key Food, huh?” she asked.

  He nodded. “I wasn’t sure that I was going to find a grocery store around here, but walking a few miles, you can find anything.”

  Dana sipped her tea and nodded. “It was only a few blocks.”

  “Whatever. And this was left for you at the door,” he said when he handed her a slip from a delivery company. “I guess your bike is in the city.”

  Dana’s eyes twinkled.

  “Umm,” Adrian began. “You know there’s no way in hell you’re getting back on that bike.”

  “Are we starting this again? I am going to ride until the doctor tells me that I can’t and after the baby is born—”

  He shook his head and took her face into his hands. “You don’t get it, do you? I worried about you when you were riding the motorcycle in Los Angeles. Riding with you, I worried about us. Now if you think I’m going to watch you—while you’re carrying my baby—then you’re out of your mind.”

  Dana tilted her head to the side and picked a pineapple from her plate. Now, she had no plans to ride the motorcycle and Adrian’s concern made her want to laugh. She had to wonder, though, did he think she was going to strap a car seat to the back of the bike and take the baby around the city?