A Lethal Legacy

by P. C. Zick

  "Come on, Kristina, he loved you more than anyone, you know that. Leaving you money doesn't have anything to do with love. Kristina, your father loved you." I couldn't stand to hear her muffled sobs as she made a weak attempt at controlling herself. "Where are you?" I asked.

  "At my apartment. I just took Pam to the airport after watching her get soused in the lounge," she said. "She was pretty angry about the will stuff. It just made things harder."

  "Do you want to come over here? Your grandmother and I were just making plans to leave tomorrow."

  "I'm too upset for Claire right now. Could you come over here for a little while?" she asked with a little girl plea in her voice. Without thinking, I told her that I would be right there.

  "I'm going over to see Kristina. She's pretty upset. If I can get her calmed down, I'll bring her back with me," I told Rick and Claire as I headed for the door.

  When I headed out into the New Orleans twilight, I noticed the thick pea soup fog had rolled in once again. I drove slowly through the quiet streets to Kristina.

  When she let me in her apartment, I took in the red eyes and smeared mascara along with the big T-shirt. She wore nothing else. She hugged me as I walked through the door. She continued to cling to my neck as we walked to the couch.

  "Oh, Eddie, I'm so miserable. Please just hold me," she whispered.

  And so I held her and held her until she stopped crying. Then without much thought, I leaned down and kissed her. Before long, she was kissing me back and climbing into my lap and rubbing herself against me until I couldn't stand it any longer.

  "Stop, Kristina, stop." I tried to pull her off me, but now she was pulling the T-shirt over her head, revealing her two perfectly rounded breasts waiting for my attention. " Kristina, put that back on," I said.

  "Now, Ed, you really don't want me to do that, do you?" she asked as she licked her lips very slowly. "You don't really want to stop, now do you?" She raised herself up high enough to press one of her breasts against my lips.

  As I eagerly reached for her, she continued softly encouraging me. "We need each other, Eddie. It's supposed to be this way. Don't stop now. I need to be loved tonight."

  I couldn't argue; I couldn't even speak. How could I refuse to give her what she needed? She could actually make me believe that I was her savior. Only I could help save her from herself, I told myself when I most needed to justify my actions in my own mind.

  I roughly shoved her off my lap onto the floor, and I buried myself in the sanctuary of her waiting body. I remembered to pull the condom out of my pocket this time, but I forgot everything else except finding a release for the both of us as we moved together.

  I forgot my promise to Gary; I forgot my grief over his death; I forgot my familial

  ties to this creature begging me to love her and fill the void deep within her soul. I forgot everything, except my need to fulfill her every desire, which, of course, perfectly coincided with mine. I forgot for a few bittersweet moments that I was only fooling myself if I thought I could ever satisfy the needs of this young woman in my arms. After Kristina and I finished making love, or whatever it's called when two people create a tornado of movement and feeling and cling to one another as if the passing storm would tear them apart at the limbs, I dozed on her couch.

  Totally spent after the events of the past week, I fell into an immediate deep sleep. The release offered in the arms of Kristina left me even more exhausted. When I opened my eyes, Kristina walked into the living room with her suitcase.

  "Where are you going?' I asked.

  "With you, back to Florida," she said.

  "Since when?"

  "Since I called Claire when you were on your way over here. I told her I was having difficulty dealing with Gary's death, and I felt I needed to be with family. She invited me to come and stay with them for a few weeks."

  "Kristina, I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."

  "Why? Afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?" She smiled seductively. "Don't worry I wouldn't seduce you with my grandparents so near. I need them more than I need you." She flipped her long hair to her back and walked to the door.

  "Ed, are you coming?"

  Gary's demons may have been put to rest, but mine were just waking up, I thought to myself as the three of us drove down the flat and boring highway back to Ocala. Kristina chatted cheerfully with Claire through the entire trip.

  "Ed, you're awfully quiet," Claire said several hours into our journey.

  "I'm tired, Claire. And you two don't need my help talking," I turned to smile at her sitting in the passenger seat.

  "Kris, what would you like to do in the next few weeks? We have lots of options, you know, like Disney World or Busch Gardens or Sea World?"

  "I guess I'd like to go to the beach for one thing."

  "Maybe Ed would take you to Daytona one day. Your grandfather and I don't get over there much, but Ed knows his way around. Couldn't you manage one day next week to take Kris to Daytona?" Claire asked me.

  "I'll see, Claire. I'm going to be pretty busy. I planned on starting the new book, and then I've got to make some decisions about Mom."

  "That's all right, Grandma. Busch Gardens would be fun. I don't want to intrude on Ed's life or be in the way," Kristina said.

  "I'll try to find an afternoon, Kristina, I really will. But I'm pretty worried about Mom. Aunt Susan can't be expected to take care of her much longer," I said.

  "I'm sure Philip looked in on her while you were gone," Claire said. "Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

  "About Mom?" I asked. Claire nodded her head. "I'm not sure. I'm almost certain that I'll move to Ocala very soon. The doctor says it's probably Alzheimer's, and there's no telling when she might have a major setback. Right now she can function, but her mind isn't totally there at times, as I'm sure you've noticed."

  Then I told them both about finding her naked from the waist up on a chair in the kitchen. Claire sadly shook her head. Kristina sat quietly.

  "I haven't wanted to overly alarm you, Ed, but she's been doing strange things like that for awhile,” Claire said. “One day we took her and Susan to the country club for lunch. They have the buffet set up in the center of the room, you know. We had made it back to our seats and no Marge. We looked up and saw her standing in the middle of the room with her filled plate looking so forlorn and lost. Philip went to her and she said, 'I forgot where I was.'"

  "According to the doctor, it's going to be like that all the time at some point,” I said. “I'm going to have to face the fact that I can't take care of her in that condition. But I don't think I'm ready to move her to a nursing home."

  "No, but you might want to get her on a waiting list. There are only a few really good places, and then only a couple of those take Alzheimer's patients. Friends have told me that the waiting time can be up to a year."

  "Ed, I'll go with you to look at those places next week, if you'd like," Kristina said.

  "Thanks, both of you. That's probably a good idea."

  When we arrived back in Ocala, Philip came out to greet us in the driveway. He acted as if we had all been away on a vacation instead of caring for Gary during his final days. I left the three of them with the luggage in the kitchen, then I headed over to Mom’s and Susan's to check on them.

  True to her word, Kristina only stayed two weeks. Her grandparents enjoyed her visit, and so did I. We spent one day at Daytona Beach, and then decided to take one of the ocean front suites for the night. When we weren't making love, it was almost like having Gary back with me. I managed to keep the guilt at bay as we learned more about one another. We never talked about the future except where it concerned my mother. By not examining our experience together in light of where our relationship might go, I could easily accept it for what it was. I felt the healing powers of the ocean and Kristina's need for me sooth the ache I had whenever I thought of Gary.

  Kristina helped me enjoy some lighter moments when we went to
Daytona. It felt good to laugh again especially when we had our picture taken in one of the small booths that line Daytona's boardwalk.

  After long talks with Claire, Susan, and Kristina, I made some decisions about my mother. First, Claire and Philip invited Susan to move into their guest room. She gratefully accepted. Worry about her sister-in-law had been quietly eating away at my sensitive aunt. I decided for the time being to move into Susan's bedroom at the apartment. That way I could watch over Mom while I decided what would be the best thing for her. I hoped that my writing wouldn't suffer, but I also knew at this point that I really had no other options. Mom needed someone with her, and my schedule allowed me to be that person. I knew that either Claire or Susan would help when I needed them.

  Kristina and I visited some of the Alzheimer's facilities in the area during her visit. Only one seemed to fit my concept of a place for my mother to live out her final days. I put her name on the waiting list.

  Just one small occurrence during Kristina's visit toward the end of the stay haunted me. All of us, Philip, Claire, Mom, Kristina, Susan and I, sat in Claire’s and Philip's living room one evening. Philip took great pride in his stock portfolio that he had set up with Merrill Lynch after his retirement. He kept the monthly statements in a three-ring binder next to his chair. Quite often sitting with them in the evenings, he would open up the notebook and look over the reports and then show me what had happened to particular stocks over the previous month. He had established a nice nest egg that he and Claire didn't really need at the present time. Philip's pension provided quite nicely for them since they had paid cash for the house. On this one particular night, Philip again pulled out the notebook and began explaining its contents to Kristina who sat at his feet listening intently.

  "Wow, Grandpa, it's worth more than $200,000! What are you going to do with that?" she asked.

  "I'm going to leave it for now and let it continue to grow. The potential for growth is greater if you just keep reinvesting, you know," he told her.

  "That's a lot of money." Kristina's eyes moved up and down the page in front of her.

  "You know, now that Gary is gone, this will all be yours one day. All yours," he told her with pride.

  "Really? All mine? "

  "After your grandmother and I are gone, you'll be the only one left," he said.

  Kristina sat back against the chair and smiled between half-closed eyes, savoring the news that her grandfather had just given her.

  Later in the kitchen, Claire handed me a beer.

  "You know that's the first time he's mentioned Gary's death," she said. "And all because of money."

  I took Kristina to the airport in Orlando for her flight back to New Orleans. At the departure gate, she turned to give me a long kiss.

  "Ed, I love you. You know where I am if you want me."

  "Kristina..."

  "Wait, don't say it. I know. I'm too young, we're cousins, this is wrong. I don't believe that. I don't know how I would have survived the last few weeks without you, and I wouldn't care what anyone thought if you decided to come after me. None of those things matter. We could always go to Mexico and live."

  "And you'd be happy with me for about two seconds." I kissed the top of her forehead and gave her one last hug. I wasn't sure what I had started by sleeping with Kristina, but I felt lighter as she walked toward her gate.

  After Kristina went back to New Orleans, Claire told me that they had sent her off with a hefty check so she could begin taking classes at the community college.

  I didn't hear from Kristina or anything about her until Claire and Philip told me just before Christmas that she had called and asked to come visit for the holidays. She asked Philip hesitantly, he said, because she didn't have any money for a ticket. She told Philip that Pam had been badgering her about money and coming to Las Vegas for the holidays. She just wanted to get away. He made plane reservations for her.

  By Christmas 1989, I had moved to Ocala and into my mother's apartment. For the past year, her Alzheimer's seemed to level off, and she only had momentary spells of forgetfulness. However, I felt like my life was in limbo, waiting for something to happen.

  When Kristina came to Ocala for that first Christmas after Gary's death, I decided to stay away from her as much as possible during her visit. I recently started dating a woman who I had met at a writer's conference in Daytona over the summer.

  Cassie, a writing teacher at the local community college, was sweet and newly divorced and almost fifteen years younger than me. But she had been able to provide a balance of sorts for me. My mother was always calm when Cassie visited, and I found myself enjoying her quiet presence more and more. I didn't want Kristina disrupting anything I had established since my move to Ocala.

  I worried what Kristina might say or do in her presence.

  The last time Kristina and I had been together in Daytona we had grown close, and I wasn't sure if Kristina would be able to share me with someone else. As long as she had been back in the family, I remained single, until this visit.

  However, I would not be able to avoid her completely. On Christmas Day, we all came together at Claire’s and Philip's house, although Cassie went to visit her family in Deland. It didn't take the aunts long to tell Kristina about my new girlfriend.

  "Isn't that nice. Tell me about her," Kristina said sweetly after Susan announced the news.

  "Not much to tell. You'll meet her this week, I'm sure," I said.

  "I can't wait."

  Later when we had a moment alone in the kitchen, Kristina let her real feelings show.

  "So, Cassie, huh? Is she as good as me? Can she do for you what I can do?" She stood very close to me as I reached into the refrigerator for a beer.

  "Kristina, I refuse to answer that." I twisted the cap off the bottle and took a long swig.

  "Have you forgotten me?" she asked as she reached for my face.

  "I'd like to." I pushed her hand away.

  "Ed, why are you being so mean to me? I just wondered why you started up with someone else when you know you love me?"

  "Kristina, drop it. We can't be together. We only helped each other out when Gary died. That's it." I turned away from her and walked into the living room.

  I managed to avoid seeing her for the next week. However, on New Year's Eve, Philip and Claire's club was holding a dance, and I had long ago purchased tickets from Claire. Cassie and I made plans to attend before Kristina mentioned her intentions to visit.

  Claire told me that she was introducing Kristina to many of her friends and their single sons who also had come home for the holidays. I think the three of them attended every cocktail party and holiday happening since Kristina's arrival.

  When Cassie and I entered the club, I saw Kristina immediately. She was hard to miss with her strapless black gown and shining diamond necklace and earrings that I recognized from Claire's collection. She would be difficult to ignore tonight.

  "You look lovely, Kristina," I said as I bent to give her a cursory hug. "This is my friend, Cassie. Cassie, my cousin's kid, Kristina."

  "She's hardly a kid, Ed, or haven't you looked at her lately? Nice to meet you, Kristina. Your grandparents speak of you often," Cassie said as she held out her hand in greeting.

  "What? Cousin Ed hasn't been telling you all about me?" she asked teasingly with a twinkle in her eye reserved just for me.

  "If you'll excuse us, Kris, I see Philip and Claire." I nodded formally to her as I placed my hand on Cassie's back to guide her away.

  We spent the rest of the evening dancing and drinking, waiting for the magic moment of midnight to ring in the 1990s, the last decade of the century. I tried not to watch the spectacle Kristina was making of herself at the next table. Howard Mickle, Philip and Claire's neighbor, seemed quite taken with the young woman sitting next to him. Kris poured all of her attention on him. Howard, recently widowed, was the president of a large manufactured home company in Ocala. He was more than thirty years older than Kri
stina and hardly her type, but he lapped up the attention.

  I saw Claire by the buffet table and decided to go and talk to her about Kristina's outrageous behavior.

  "Hi, Ed, isn't this the most fantasticist party ever," she said.

  "Sure is, Aunt Claire. Kristina looks lovely tonight. Did you lend her some jewelry?"

  "I gave those to her. She stood to get them anyway, and I have so much. Besides they look a whole lot better on her at this stage of the game."

  "She seems to be spending an awful lot of time with Howard," I said.

  "Isn't she the sweetest thing! Howard has been so lonely since Helen died. Kris has been lovely to all of our friends. I think everyone, including Howard, is just a little bit in love with her."

  So much for getting Claire to notice what was happening at the table next to us. When I returned to my seat, I glanced at Kris and noticed one of her hands under the table. Howard was leaning back in his chair looking enthralled with whatever she said or was doing underneath the tablecloth. As much as I detested what was happening, I also found myself quite jealous of Howard's position.

  The next day Cassie and I ran into Kristina and Howard at the club's morning-after brunch. They sat very close to one another, and I even saw Kristina lean over and kiss his ear at one point.

  I ran into Kristina at the buffet bar.

  "Good morning, Ed."

  "Kristina. Looks like you've made quite a friend there with old Howard.

  "Howard's a sweetheart. And he's not afraid to be seen with me in public. Are you jealous yet?"

  "Don't bother, Kristina. I'm quite content with Cassie." I walked back to the table as it dawned on me that Kristina's displays with Howard were for my benefit.

  The following day Claire called to tell me that Kristina had abruptly left town. She said she needed to get back for school even though she had originally planned on staying for another week. Claire also mentioned in passing that Howard had just called her asking for Kris.

  "You know when I told him that she had left to go home, he almost seemed angry. I guess he developed quite a crush on Kris. She was so sweet to him," she said.