by Tina Leonard
She gazed down at him with some surprise. “Have you ever done this before?”
“I hate to admit it, but no.”
She smiled. “Then I’ll pass on making you strip wallpaper.”
He thought about the gang’s recipe and considered the best way to open up some communication. “I could make dinner,” he suggested.
That got her attention. She stared at him. “Really?”
“Of course,” he said, making it sound as if he were Julia Child and knew what he was doing. “If you eat grilled, I can grill it.”
“I love grilled food.” She went back to her work. “I warn you that there are no groceries, though.”
“I’ll sign on for shopping, too. Or,” he said, thinking about romance, “we could order pizza and then take a long walk together. I could teach you how to find Orion’s belt.”
She laughed. “This is Tulips. We don’t get pizza delivery here. We don’t have any delivery, unless you count Valentine, who kindly brings confectionary items to the saloon.”
“So,” Luke said, “are we okay with each other?”
“I think so,” Pepper replied, but she didn’t seem surprised that the question came up.
“Could we be better?”
She tore off another strip of wallpaper. “I don’t honestly know.”
He thought about that. “You’d tell me if you weren’t good with me doing this last job?”
She was silent for at least half a minute. “Luke, you had a life before us. I didn’t expect you to give up everything for us.”
Did that sound odd? Something didn’t ring sincerely, as reasonable as she made it sound. He watched her strip a few more pieces, realizing he’d gotten all the answer on that subject she intended to give.
“I’ll grill chicken,” he said, and she nodded.
“Thank you.”
Thank you for cooking dinner? He desperately wanted to snatch Helen’s and Pansy’s words of wisdom from his pocket—he needed a cheat sheet. Romance, he reminded himself. “You’ve got a great butt in those jeans,” he said. “You could stand on a ladder like that all the time so I could stare at it. But then I’d miss out seeing your…face,” he said, hesitating only long enough so she’d think he’d been about to say breasts.
She looked down and giggled, finally making eye contact, to his great satisfaction. “Maybe I will let you show me Orion’s belt tonight,” she said.
The recipe was working.
He sure hoped it was, because if it wasn’t, he was running out of ideas on how to convince his new bride that their marriage was about more than Parenting 101.
Chapter Eighteen
“So what I was thinking,” Luke said to Pepper when she joined him in the kitchen thirty minutes later, “is that it still feels like we’re dating, as opposed to married.”
She hesitated, thinking about the recipe she’d studied as hard as any medical journal. “We’ve had a lot to absorb in the few weeks we’ve been married.”
“True.”
He touched the back of her neck as she pretended interest in the dinner he was preparing. She didn’t think she could eat. New bride nerves, she told herself. Marriage wasn’t easy, despite the gang’s help. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
Her heart fell, dropping a thousand feet to nowhere. Shocked, she turned to face him, and he moved his hand away. “So soon?”
He nodded. “The general is in Dallas. I’ll go with them, as will Hawk and Jellyfish.”
She sank into a kitchen chair. “I don’t think I completely understand exactly what it is you do.”
“I was in the military for a few years. After high school, when I left here, I did a lot of rolling around. A bit of cowboying, joined the rodeo for a while. I was lucky a lot. What I wasn’t was responsible. I joined the military to have a connection.”
“I didn’t know that,” she murmured.
“My father knows. We argued bitterly about it.” He shrugged. “That doesn’t matter anymore. But at the time, it hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“Dad always felt that I had an incredibly lucky streak that would one day run out. I did have a lot of good fortune, but a lot of it I made on my own. You don’t cowboy and win unless you work hard. You don’t make good real estate investments unless you study the market—it’s not luck. I worked hard in the military, and when I got out, I had the respect of my superiors, in particular, the general. I’ve stayed with him in a protective capacity, thanks to the skills I acquired.”
“It sounds dangerous.” Her heart sank.
“I like to think of my life as well-rounded.” Luke pulled her toward him, though Pepper tried to shrink away. She’d married him without knowing very much more about him than the boy she’d remembered. Now she knew his world—his job—was inherently dangerous, and she wanted to put her head down and cry.
“It was well-rounded until I married you and became a husband and a father,” he said simply. “Now I feel complete.”
She looked at him. “You aren’t complete, yet.”
“No?” Releasing her hand, he studied her.
“We don’t have a marriage,” she said softly. “We’re married, but we don’t have a marriage. Not yet.” She turned away. “I guess there will be time for that when you return.”
“I’m sorry, Pepper.” He stood behind her, holding her arms. “You and the boys…you’re my world now. But I need to finish some things in my old world.”
“I understand. I even admire it.” She took a deep breath. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
He turned her toward him and kissed her so deeply, so sweetly, that Pepper reached over with one hand, flipped off the oven and walked her husband to their bedroom.
They had no time to lose.
LUKE WALKED INTO his sons’ bedroom at four o’clock that morning. The hardest thing in the world was leaving these people. No wonder soldiers joked that if the military wanted you to have a wife, they’d issue you one. This new family he’d been blessed with made it very hard to go. He touched Josh’s hair while he slept and then Toby’s.
Toby sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Hey, Dad.”
Josh sat up, too. “Is it morning?”
“It’s morning,” Luke said, “but not time to get up. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Secretly, he was glad they’d awakened. He’d get one last hug goodbye from his boys.
“Are you going?” Toby asked.
“Yeah.” He hugged his sons. “I’ll be back before school starts.”
“Promise?” Josh demanded. “Remember, you married Mom so that we’d have your name in time for school. But a name isn’t much unless your dad drives you to school on the first day.”
Luke smiled. “I didn’t marry your mom just for that,” he said. “Well, I did, I guess, but that’s not why I’m married to her now.”
Toby sank back against the covers. “We know why you’re married to her now,” he said, yawning.
Luke hesitated, thinking about the passionate encounter he and Pepper had just shared. Very, very passionate. “Oh?”
“You like us,” Josh said.
“Yes, I do.” Luke kissed his boys’ foreheads and rose. “Let your mom sleep in if she wants, okay?”
“Sure, Dad,” they said sleepily.
“I’ll be back soon,” Luke told them, his eyes burning with tears he was glad they couldn’t see. “I love you both very much.”
“We love you, too.”
They rolled back over and he slipped out, telling himself he’d accomplished at least one goal: he had a good relationship with his sons, something he’d wanted all his life with his own father.
First day of school: September 1. It was a date he had etched in his mind.
KNOWING LUKE WAS LEAVING, and waking up to find him gone and a rose on the pillow beside her, were two completely different things. Her heart sank even as she took in the romantic gesture. Unable to help herself, she allowed herse
lf a brief moment of tears and some panic. She’d fallen in love with her husband, something she’d never expected—not this type of love. That teenage crush she’d harbored had slowly ripened into a wonderfully delicious love of which she’d only dreamed.
He was right, though, about the separation between them. She’d kept herself aloof mentally, always afraid of being left again.
And now she was. Only this time it was different, she reassured herself. He’d said goodbye. She knew where and why he’d gone.
He’s coming back. He loves his boys.
He’d developed a great relationship with his father. Luke would return for that reason, too.
She got up and dressed, though it was six o’clock in the morning. Patients would arrive at the office around eight-thirty, for which she was thankful. Her work would keep her busy, as it always had.
Realization struck her. If Luke hadn’t left Tulips back then, she might not have become a doctor. I probably would have never left Tulips, like so many other girls here. I would have stayed, waiting around for Luke to marry me. But we were far too young….
Her education had become her priority. She had a family to raise, and that had given her a mission.
It had all worked out. She knew that now—she’d been just as lucky as Luke.
When he comes back, I’m going to tell him that I love him. I’m not losing any more precious days without telling my husband that he’s been the love of my life.
TWO WEEKS LATER, Pepper woke up nauseated. She’d fixed eggs and bacon for herself and the boys last night after she’d picked them up from the Triple F, where they spent their days while she worked. If they weren’t at the ranch, they were with Luke’s father. This arrangement suited everyone: Duke and Zach felt that they were getting to spend time with their nephews and Bill had a ton of projects he couldn’t wait to do with the boys. Pepper had never seen such a fast turnaround in someone’s life as she had in Bill’s. He literally thrived, spending time with his grandsons.
I’m not thriving at this moment. She went into the bathroom, uneasy with nerves, but couldn’t shake the nausea. Wondering if the boys were feeling ill, too, she went to check on them. They slept soundly, worn out from the days’ activities. Molly slept at the foot of their beds, a new habit the golden retriever had acquired. It was a short walk for the dog from the jail, where Duke worked, and every day, when the boys got home, Molly was waiting on the porch. Sometimes, when Duke picked the boys up to go to the ranch, Molly hitched a ride out with them and returned at the end of the day. She always seemed to know which days Duke was at the jail and which he spent with the twins, and adjusted her routine accordingly.
The boys were thrilled. They’d never had a dog.
Backing out of their bedroom, Pepper closed the door. The nausea had passed slightly, but she went to the kitchen and grabbed a ginger ale. It was then she noticed her breasts felt slightly tender. With her heart beating a bit more rapidly, she checked the calendar on the kitchen wall.
She was four days late, despite being normally regular. Stress, Pepper told herself, but the sinking feeling inside told her something completely different.
Two hours later, after the boys and Molly left with Duke, Pepper hurried to her clinic. She pulled out a pregnancy test she had on hand for patients, telling herself she was making herself crazy for no reason.
The thin blue line that immediately popped up on the test told a different story. Breathless, Pepper sank into a chair.
I’m so happy. I’m so scared!
History was repeating itself. Once again, Luke was gone—and once again, she was pregnant.
Disbelief washed over her before delight took hold. This time, she was married. This time they would share the joys of pregnancy.
Not share. It wasn’t as if she could call him, and even if she could, she wasn’t sure she would. She didn’t want him worrying about her.
Of course, not telling him about her previous pregnancy had put a dent in his trust of her. The omission had started their marriage at a deficit. The one thing he’d asked of her was not to keep things from him anymore.
But this… She couldn’t tell him. Not now.
Anything could happen.
She wanted his mind on his job. It was his last one, he’d said, of the bodyguard variety.
Then he’d be all hers, and the boys’ and the new baby’s. They’d start over as a family.
This time, it would all work out.
The doctor in her noted her rapid pulse and flushed skin. All the years of worry and struggle, when she’d faced raising children alone, rose to taunt her.
It would all work out. It had to.
Luke was a man of his word.
Chapter Nineteen
Pepper kept her news to herself for another two weeks. Though her body was giving her clues, she wanted confirmation that she wasn’t imagining her pregnancy.
She took another pregnancy test, which only confirmed that she hadn’t dreamed the baby into existence.
Dreaming it wasn’t so far-fetched. Over the two weeks she’d given herself to take in everything that had happened between her and Luke, she’d realized she wanted more children. Now that she was married to the father of her twins, having another child had become a fantasy for their future together.
She hadn’t expected the fantasy this soon. Yet her surprise turned to joy, tinged only by regret at Luke’s absence.
The one dilemma was that she couldn’t share the good news with him, she thought wistfully. Pepper prayed he would come home safely so they could share the magic of pregnancy together.
She didn’t want to think what she would do if he didn’t—couldn’t—come home for the first day of the boys’ school, as he’d planned. The possibility was enough to wake her up in the middle of the night.
He’d said he would call her when they got to certain areas he would deem safe. I can tell him when he calls, she assured herself, staring anxiously up at the ceiling. And she then realized in the next thundering heartbeat that she couldn’t. She didn’t want his attention diverted from the job he wanted to finish.
But was she making the correct decision this time? He’d been very angry when he learned she’d never told him about the twins.
“This time I’ll still be pregnant when he comes home,” she told his father as they sat outside his house, watching the boys play with the radio-controlled planes Luke had given them. “It’s a different situation this time.”
Bill scratched his head, pondering that. “It is different. I don’t know how to change it. Still, I’m sure he’d want to know.”
They sat quietly in the gathering twilight. Pepper had decided it was wise to tell the person closest to Luke, who knew him best—despite their years of bitterness—about the expected addition to the McGarrett clan. “It’s only a couple of months,” she murmured. “I don’t want to jeopardize anything he’s doing.”
“I know.” Bill thought about that. “Even if we sent a message, I don’t know that it would get through.”
“That’s true.”
“Do the boys know?”
She shook her head. “I’ve told no one except you. You’re Luke’s closest relation. I could tell the twins, but I feel like he should be with me when we tell them.” The whole thing was out of order, and not the way she’d dreamed their future would unfold. “It’s too soon.”
“Don’t say that, gal. Everything happens for a reason. I, for one, am delighted to have another grandchild on the way. Bet this one’s a girl,” he said happily. “I can just feel it.”
She smiled. “Toby and Josh would love a little sister. But they’d love a little brother, just as well.” Pepper herself couldn’t help dreaming of pink onesies, pink blankets, a white crib with lots of lace and frills.
“Luke’s going to be the happiest man on the planet,” his father said. “I can’t help you with advice about when to tell him, though. He’d want to come home if he knew you were pregnant, but he wouldn’t leave this as
signment. It’s highly classified,” Bill admitted.
“Dangerous?” Her heart started slowly sinking at the ominous words. Luke had made it sound like he was just doing a favor for an old friend and employer.
“We won’t think about those things, Pepper,” Bill said softly. “We’ll think about how wonderful it is to be expecting a baby.”
She shook her head, her physician’s soul weighing the information she was receiving.
“You might go ahead and tell the gang,” Bill suggested. “You’d have the ladies to help you this time.”
Pepper nodded, but the truth was beginning to hit her. Luke might not come back for a long, long time. She’d never felt so helpless in her life and the worst part was that she hadn’t once told him she loved him. Insecurity had kept her silent.
It was a bitter lesson to learn.
PANSY AND HELEN SQUEALED with joy when Pepper told them about the baby.
“This is wonderful news!” Pansy said. “I bet Luke is thrilled!”
“I haven’t told him,” Pepper admitted, “but I have told his father.”
“You haven’t heard from Luke?” Helen asked.
“No.” She tried to make her reply breezy, as if she was doing fine in spite of the lack of communication. “But I called Aunt Jerry, and she’s ready to move down here. She says she misses us and she won’t miss the cold at all. The boys are so excited—that news just about makes their world perfect. Holt says he’s got the perfect house close by us for Aunt Jerry. It couldn’t be more perfect.”
The chatty front was getting on her nerves, but Pepper didn’t know what else to do but put on a brave face.
Helen and Pansy looked at her with some dismay. “So you didn’t really have time to put the recipe to work,” Helen said.
Pepper shook her head, feeling that lack poignantly. “When Luke comes home, we’ll have plenty of time to become close.” Her statement sounded so empty and worried that she smiled to cover that fact. “I’m taking up knitting.”
“Knitting?” Pansy’s lips quivered as if she might cry. “Booties?”