by Tina Leonard
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Pepper said brightly. “When I get beyond the basics, that is.”
The ladies looked worried. “Well,” Helen said, “men are mysterious beings. That’s all I know, I guess.”
“We never knew much,” Pansy admitted, “we just tried to act like we did in case it helped. Guess we didn’t help you as much as we wanted to.”
“Maybe it all started badly. Maybe my mistake was beginning my marriage with a lie.” Pepper shook her head. “My bigger mistake was not being honest when I had the chance. Falling in love with Luke scared me so much. I kept thinking that if I was scared, something must be wrong. The only thing that was wrong was me, I suppose.”
Helen shook her head. “If perfect relationships exist, I sure don’t know about them. Marriage is about forgiving the small things. I’m certain Luke had forgiven you, Pepper.”
“And I know he loves you,” Pansy declared.
The thought cheered Pepper immensely. “I hope so,” she murmured. “When I think about the dreams I’ve had in my life, Luke loving me would certainly be one come true.”
Something was nagging at her, though, a worry she couldn’t quite pin down. “I feel as though history is repeating itself and that I’m making the same mistake again. It’s not practical, but I feel like I should at least make the effort to get word to Luke about the baby.” Pepper had thought this through a hundred times, and each time, common sense told her it was best to tell him when he returned.
But her heart told her that Luke would want to know about the baby as soon as possible. “So he’d know I really want him in my life,” she murmured, and the ladies perked up.
“You do, don’t you, Pepper?” Pansy asked.
“I do. So much that it hurts. I held back because of trust issues, but I needed to learn to trust myself the most.” Pepper took a deep breath and gazed at her friends. “I’ll figure this out. I’ll make the right decision.”
“Like you always have,” Pansy said supportively. Helen nodded, patting Pepper’s arm.
Pepper smiled, feeling their love and their belief in her. No matter what, she was going to make her marriage work.
And yet despite her best efforts, Pepper knew she wouldn’t tell Luke. She was afraid of endangering his mission, that was true, but a deep, troubled part of her wanted to know that he would actually come home to her. Not just because of Josh and Toby, but come home to her and the marriage they hadn’t really started off with romance and hopes of fairy tale, happy endings.
ON AUGUST 31, after Pepper had laid out Toby and Josh’s new school clothes and school supplies for the next day, she faced the fact that she had to tell her sons their father wouldn’t be home in time for their first day of school. She hadn’t heard from Luke, and neither had his father. It was as if he’d disappeared off the face of the earth. The boys’ hearts would be broken, and she didn’t know what to say to them to make it better, except that their dad would be here if he could.
Pepper was beginning to show. She’d finally sat down and told the boys, realizing she had to do it before they found out at school, from friends who’d overheard their well-meaning mothers talking. Though Pepper wore dresses to minimize her condition, this time she’d started showing a lot earlier.
Toby and Josh were ecstatic. They wanted the baby to arrive in time for Christmas. Pepper had told them the newborn would most likely be born in March, which had taken some of the edge off their excitement.
They were tired of waiting for everything, Toby complained, and Pepper knew he meant his father’s promised return home for the first day of school.
She didn’t let herself think about how, when Luke saw her again, she’d seem awfully out of shape compared to the tiny blondes in bikinis he’d been guarding. I just want him home safe. Healthy. Mine.
God, she just wanted him home with her, so she could touch him and hold him. So they could play with the boys, and visit with Bill and let Molly break the rules about dogs on the sofa.
“Mom?” Toby said, coming into the kitchen, where she sat staring into a cup of herbal tea. “Have you heard from Dad?”
She put on a brave face for the boys. “Not yet.”
Josh sat down and stared at her. “Mom, he’s not coming back.”
Chills ran through her. “What makes you say that?”
“He’s just not,” Toby said with certainty. “We asked Grandpa where Dad was, and even he doesn’t know. It’s just like before. We might as well have never known we had a father.”
Tears pressed at her eyes but she refused to give in to the same worry. Right now, her boys needed to feel her strength. “I believe he’s coming,” she said steadfastly, her voice firm. “I’m never going to believe anything else.”
“There’s about twelve hours until school starts. He’s not coming,” Josh said, and for the first time, she heard a note of despair in his young voice.
“He will if he can.”
Toby and Josh looked at her, their spirits low. She didn’t know what to say to make it better, and she had doubts of her own, so she tucked the boys in bed, sitting in their room until they fell asleep.
Outside the window, she could see the moon rising high in the sky, like a guiding light. He would have come back if he’d wanted to, Pepper thought, and suddenly, she realized she couldn’t be married for the sake of the children anymore.
An absent husband did not a marriage make, especially a marriage that had been planned from the beginning to be in name only.
Chapter Twenty
On the morning of the first day of school, Pepper quietly got in the van with her sons. She thought perhaps they were slightly embarrassed that she was showing and even more upset that their father wasn’t around to be with them. They’d really wanted Luke at their side so that all the kids would see that the new boys had a family, a real family.
Pepper blinked back tears. She didn’t know what to say to her children. Her family had been a close one, so she could sympathize with their feelings.
At the middle school, they got out and walked inside. Pepper tried to hang back a bit in order not to embarrass her boys, who were getting a few interested looks from girls. They were too nervous to notice as they searched for their classroom. With one last anxious glance over their shoulders at Pepper, they looked at each other, completely oblivious to the kids filing in past them.
Go on, she wanted to say. Walk through that door. Once you open the proverbial closet doors, you’ll see that there was never a monster inside.
“Toby and Josh?” she heard a man say, and they nodded, staring up at a teacher Pepper didn’t recognize. She’d been gone a long time and no longer knew everyone in Tulips. But he gazed at her boys with a kindly smile, glancing over to where she hovered in the hall.
“Dr. McGarrett?” he said, and she nodded, forcing a smile.
“I’m Bart Grady, world history teacher.”
She shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
His eyes twinkled. “Please come in with Toby and Josh.”
“Oh, I shouldn’t.” She edged back slightly, not wanting the other kids to think Toby and Josh needed their mother to make everything okay for them.
“You should,” Bart said. “There’s a surprise for you three, I believe.”
With great trepidation, she walked into the classroom, a room she hadn’t been in in fourteen years. In front of the chalkboard, on the teacher’s pedestal chair, sat Luke, unshaven and wild-haired and wearing a grin. She stared at him.
“Guest lecturer for world history,” he said, and the boys flew into his arms. Tears of joy jumped into Pepper’s eyes. He smiled at her over their sons’ heads. “And I have souvenirs for the whole class,” he said. “South American chocolate.”
His gift made Luke an instant hero. Pepper wiped a few tears away and retreated into the hall, certain that they’d disrupted Mr. Grady’s class enough. But the delight on her boys’ faces was something she’d remember for the rest of her life.
Pepper slipped away. So many emotions ran through her that she felt she had to escape before she totally embarrassed her boys and gave in to the hormone-induced tears she was going to cry at any second. Happiness, excitement, surprise—they were all mixed in there, from just one thought.
Luke had kept his word to his sons.
He was certainly their hero.
PEPPER WAS SITTING at her desk around noon when Luke came into her office. She stayed seated so he wouldn’t see her stomach. There was a lot she wanted to know before she revealed her secret.
“You left,” he said.
“I did? Or was that you?” she replied.
He perched on her desk. “It doesn’t matter. I’m back now. Are you?”
She looked at him, hiding all the gratitude she felt at his safe return. All morning she’d been a bundle of nerves. “Is it that easy? You were gone longer than we were married.”
He looked at her.
“Let’s start with an easier question,” she hedged. “Was the operation a success?”
“Yes.”
“You look well.”
“The airports were harder to get through than the assignment,” Luke said. “I darn near didn’t make it in time for the first day of school.”
Pepper noted the dark circles under his eyes. “Your arrival was better than Santa Claus,” she said. “I feel certain the boys’ apprehension about starting a new school is completely gone.”
“I left the class debating whether they would prefer South America or Greece for their first travel adventure,” he said with a grin. “Mr. Grady seemed to have the discussion well in hand. And I met the boys’ other teachers.”
“You did?” Pepper hadn’t met any besides Bart Grady.
“Of course. I signed up for library duty once a week. And maybe some assistant coaching, if the boys don’t mind me helping with the soccer team.”
“Soccer team? Does Tulips have one?”
He laughed. “This one will have to be coed so we’ll have enough players, but the idea went over very well. I think it will all work out.”
“Liberty could design uniforms,” she murmured.
Luke touched Pepper’s chin, turning her to face him. “Glad to see me?”
“Of course.” She swallowed, trying not to burst into tears at the question. “How could I not be?”
“With you, I’m never sure.”
She took a deep breath. “About that. I missed you, Luke. Very much.”
He smiled, pleased. “Dragged from the depths of your soul?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not trying to make you guess at what I think. From now on, you’ll know how I feel about you. About us. If that’s what you want.”
“I do.” He looked at her a long time. “I missed you like hell.”
She blinked. “Thank you.”
He laughed. “So formal.”
“I don’t know what else to say,” she said helplessly. “I’m afraid you’re not back…that you didn’t come back because of me. Just for the boys.”
He shook his head at her. “Pepper, you are such a doubting lady. So many mysteries and secrets. But I have a lifetime to wring all those doubts right out of your overly intelligent brain. You just think too much, and it’s usually about all the scary stuff.”
“I’m always telling the boys that everything will work out all right,” Pepper murmured, and he nodded.
“Just like this. No more starting and stopping. It’ll be easier now that I’m home for good.”
She lowered her gaze, afraid to believe him. “Luke,” she said softly, “this is going to be anticlimactic for you, after traveling around the world on secret missions and watching beautiful women in clandestine locations, but we’re having another baby.”
He laughed out loud. “You are such a doubter.” Getting up, he locked the office door and jumped over her desk so that he could pull her to him. His hands spread over her stomach, searching for signs of her pregnancy. Pleasure flared in his dark eyes. “So you were keeping one last secret,” he said with a smile. “I’m going to have to keep a very close eye on you, Dr. McGarrett.”
She smiled as he kissed her tenderly on the mouth. “I’ll let you, Bodyguard McGarrett,” she said when he looked down into her eyes. “And one last thing. I love you, Luke. I don’t think I ever got over you, and you can call that information ‘unclassified.’ Clear enough on the feelings issue?”
“I’m a man who appreciates unclassified these days. Damn sexy of you to be pregnant when I get home,” Luke said, letting his hands roam over her waist.
“I like to think I one-upped you on the cool souvenirs.”
“Yeah, I have to say a baby beats South American chocolate,” Luke said, pulling her toward him again. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”
“Not yet,” Pepper said with a secretive smile, “but how about a nooner, husband?”
He grinned and slid her onto the desk. “Lucky, lucky me.”
Epilogue
The baby came early the next year, on Valentine’s Day, which Luke thought was very romantic of her. His radiant wife held his new daughter—whom they named Helen Pansy McGarrett and nicknamed Ellen for the sake of clarity—and Luke was certain he’d never seen Pepper more beautiful.
Aunt Jerry was at home, helping the boys do their homework, though Luke suspected very little was getting done, since they knew their little sister was on the way.
Ellen snuggled against her mother, and Luke grinned. “I’m not missing a thing this time. Not the diapers, not the breast-feeding, not the spitting up. I’m going to enjoy every minute of this.”
Pepper smiled at him. “It feels as though we’re starting everything over.”
“I was thinking it was like we had the old, and we’ve got the new and it’s all just right.” Luke handed Pepper a small box. “Something for the just-right doctor in my life.”
Holding his gaze with hers, Pepper took the box. Slowly, she opened it, finding a beautiful diamond ring inside.
“Marry me again, Pepper,” Luke said, “here with all our friends and family.”
She nodded, and he thought he saw tears of happiness in her eyes. “Did the gang put you up to getting married in Tulips? Zach said they would want us to be formally married, meaning they get to be in on everything.”
He shook his head. “They never said a word about it. This is all my idea.”
“Really?” That meant more to her than she could ever say. “Think they gave up meddling?”
“I hope not,” he said, kissing her as he slipped the ring on her finger. “I sure hope not. We’ve got a bunch of little Forresters and McGarretts depending on them and their recipes of love.”
“IT WAS WONDERFUL how it all worked out, wasn’t it?” Pansy said to Helen as they locked the door of the saloon. “So romantic.”
“For all the Forrester kids.” Helen smiled as she looked at the stained glass door. The sight never failed to bring her pleasure. “I’m glad Pepper got a door to match this one for her clinic. It gives Tulips such a connected look.”
Pansy allowed Helen to take her arm as they companionably walked down the sidewalk. Bug and Hiram fell into step with them when the two women reached Duke’s jail.
“What’s up, ladies?” Bug asked.
“Just reminiscing,” Helen said. “We were talking about how wonderful everything turned out.”
“Yeah,” Hiram said. “Duke said that after we throw the wedding for Pepper and Luke, we’re all taking turns watching Toby and Josh.”
“Oh?” Pansy said. “Something romantic afoot?”
“Luke said something about wanting to get Pepper into a heart-shaped ba
thtub,” Bug said, and Helen grinned.
“Good recipe work,” Pansy told her.
And Helen replied, “Same to you.”
“Although we can’t take credit,” Pansy said, as the four of them walked toward Helen’s and Pansy’s houses. As Duke walked out of the jail for the night with Molly at his side, she called, “Howdy, Sheriff.”
“Howdy,” he said, heading their way. “What trouble are you four up to?”
“None at all,” Helen said breezily, watching as Molly gave one last wag of her tail, then headed off toward Luke and Pepper’s house, as was her recent custom. “You lost your dog to Toby and Josh, Hiram,” she said with a grin.
“I’m okay with that,” he said. “She still eats lunch with me every day.”
“I’m so glad,” Pansy said, “that we went to Union Junction that day and learned about Men Only Day. Ladies Only Day has been so good for this town.”
“I still say,” Duke said, “that you use that day in your saloon as an excuse to plot against us poor males.”
“And do you mind?” Pansy asked with a sweet smile.
“Not at all,” Duke said. “Not at all.”
Thank you to my children, Lisa and Dean—I’m super-proud of you!
Many thanks to Kathleen Scheibling for your support of the Tulips series from the start!
And a huge thank-you to my readers and dear friends who have been so loyally dedicated to my work—your never-ending devotion has meant the world to me.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5865-9
HER SECRET SONS
Copyright © 2007 by Tina Leonard.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario M3B 3K9, Canada.