SORRY CAN'T SAVE YOU: A Mystery Novel

by Willow Rose

  So many uncertain things make my stomach churn as I drive the long stretch up the mountainside. There are cabins hidden between the trees, but there’s a lot of distance between them. I see a car in one of the driveways, but most of them are empty. The sun is shining down on us as we drive upward and is reflected in the sparse snow on the sides of the road that is left from winter while we drive up the gravel road and finally reach the cabin. It is well hidden behind a row of pine trees, and as we drive into the driveway and get out, the view opens up to us of the valley below. It is breathtaking. We are surrounded by mountaintops hiding behind a light cloud cover—giving the place the name The Smokey Mountains—and we can see the creek that is running in the back behind the cabin. Birds are chirping in the tall trees covering us from the road, and the air is so cool and fresh, you can almost feel how healthy it is when breathing. I am suddenly feeling less worried as we carry our things and groceries inside. For the first time in days, Frank is smiling behind those sad eyes.

  As we cook the chicken we bought on our way here, I almost manage to forget about Ryan and Chip, and even Vera isn’t on my mind anymore. At least not constantly like she was back at home. Frank seems to lighten up as well. He kisses me and serves me a glass of red wine. I take it with a smile and pretend to be drinking, but don’t drink any of it. I hope he doesn’t notice since I’m not ready to tell him yet. I want to wait until the right moment, and that isn’t now.

  We spend the evening by the fireplace, me curled up against him on the couch, the fire crackling. He sips his wine, and my glass just rests on the table. I stare into the flames, feeling calm, listening to his heartbeat close to my ear. This is exactly what I need right now—being there, with him, alone. This place has such a calm to it; I feel like all my troubles have been left behind. I know I am just fooling myself; I know my problems are far from gone. Nothing has been solved yet, but I allow myself to enjoy this moment, to tell myself that maybe life can be good again.

  Maybe.

  Chapter 49

  I wake with a gasp. I am frightened. I don’t know why. Is it my dream? Is it that sense of dread that is constantly with me, eating me up from inside, making me feel this deep sense of being sick? Is it worry? Nervousness? Anxiety? My thoughts are a mess. The more I think, the worse it gets. I breathe and focus on calming myself. Frank is in bed next to me. My heart is hammering, and it won’t stop.

  Why am I so scared?

  Frank snores lightly then turns in his sleep. The sun is peeking out behind the mountaintops, and its rays are hitting his face through the window. Frank has soft skin, and the sunlight bounces off him and makes him almost sparkle. I try to imagine myself being married to him, having a child, growing old. The thought is soothing to me. It makes me feel better. Frank makes me feel better. He makes me feel safe. And that is what I need right now.

  Frank opens his eyes and looks at me, then smiles.

  “Hi, there.”

  I lean over and kiss him. He is still smiling as our lips part. “How are you so beautiful when you’ve just woken up?”

  I chuckle and push his shoulder gently.

  “It’s true,” he says. “You look stunning.”

  Instinctively, I touch my stomach as I am reminded of what it is carrying. I grow serious; my fingers caressing his skin.

  “What?” he asks.

  I stare at him, biting my lip. I know I have planned to wait for the right time, but I make the decision quickly. This might as well be the right time. I reach over and grab his hand, then lead it to my stomach. I place it on my skin and look up at him. Our eyes lock. His grow wide as the realization slowly sinks in.

  “Are you trying to tell me something?”

  I stare into his eyes. He barely blinks. I can’t read his face; I don’t know if he is happy, or just surprised. Is he mad? Scared? What is he thinking? Does he want to run away?

  Then, I nod. I am still biting my lip and holding his hand on my skin.

  “You mean to say you’re…?”

  I nod again.

  “Yes, Frank. That is what I’m saying.”

  His hand is removed, pulled away forcefully. Startled at this, I look at him. His eyes are blank. I still can’t tell what his reaction is.

  “You’re pregnant?” he says. I know he has realized this, but he wants to be sure. He wants me to confirm it, to say the actual words.

  “Yes, I am pregnant.”

  “And it’s mine?”

  I hate that question. It assumes that I have slept with others—makes me feel like a slut. But, of course, he has the right to ask. I am, after all, still married, and we’ve not been together for that long.

  “Yes, it is yours.”

  He is barely breathing now. I can tell he is fighting his emotions.

  “And you’re sure about that?”

  I sigh and close my eyes briefly. “Not one hundred percent, no.” I lift my glance, hoping my honesty is the right approach. “Listen, we will do a test to be sure. But you’re the guy I want to be the father of this child, no matter what.”

  He is staring at me. He can’t find words. I can tell he is struggling. His lips are moving, but no sound is coming out. Not until after a few seconds when he finally manages to say, “So…I’m gonna be a dad? Like a real dad?”

  His eyes are lighting up now, and I can see a smile as it lingers in the corners of his mouth. It is pulling his lips into a smile.

  “Yes, Frank.”

  “I’m gonna be a father, a real father? We’re having a baby? We’re having a baby together?”

  I chuckle. “Yes. That’s what people usually do. Have babies together.”

  He places his hand on his face, then rubs his stubble. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe it. I am having a child? I’m gonna be a daddy?”

  He is smiling now and leaning forward to kiss me. He kisses me on the lips, on the forehead, on my cheeks, and then he leans forward and kisses my belly.

  “Hello there, little one. I’m Frank. I’m gonna be your daddy. Do you hear me?” He looks up at me for reassurance. “Does he hear me?”

  I shrug. “Probably. And just to be clear, it might just as well be a girl, you do know that, right?”

  He laughs. “A girl? I’d love a girl. I love girls. And I think I’m doing a pretty decent job with Isabella, right? I mean, she likes me, doesn’t she?”

  I nod with another chuckle. “Actually, she does. She is quite fond of you.”

  “See? I can have a girl. I can’t believe it. I’m gonna be a father. This is big. This is huge.” He pauses. “You must be hungry. I bet you are; you’re eating for two. How about I start by making you some pancakes, huh? And eggs, you should have eggs. No, don’t get up. I’ll bring breakfast to you in bed. From now on, you won’t have to lift a finger.”

  He jumps out of bed with a happy sound, then gets dressed and rushes downstairs to prepare breakfast. I lean back in the bed, smiling. I realize that all my fear is gone. My heart is no longer pounding. I don’t have that sense of deep dread inside me anymore. I am overwhelmed with joy at this moment. It is over. I told him, and now we can move on to the next chapter of our lives. Maybe I can even persuade him to move away with the kids and me. Get away from Ryan and his buddies to a safe place, where we can raise the children together. Maybe we can get a fresh start somewhere. Yes, that’s what we need—just to get away.

  Start all over.

  We eat breakfast in bed. We go for a long walk, hiking a trail in the mountains. It’s beautiful, and we’re happy together. We’re holding hands, and we’re kissing, we’re cooking dinner together when we get back and holding hands while staring into the fireplace after we’re done eating. It’s the perfect day. I can’t remember a time in my life when I have been as happy as I am at this moment. Not since Ryan and I were younger, at least. But back then, it was different. We had so much going on that we barely had time to enjoy my pregnancies; we hardly ever looked each other in the eyes the way Frank and I are doing now. We were young
and restless; we had no time just to stare into the fire, or even enjoy this precious moment.

  Frank seems like he feels the exact same way too. We take pictures of us together on my phone, we goof around, and we even read to one another from a book we found in the cabin. It’s a scary book, and I tuck myself under the covers as we sit on the couch, curled up together. That’s when I feel the baby kick for the first time, and I jump.

  “What was that?” Frank asks.

  I stare up at him. “The baby...it…”

  “It kicked?” he asks, smiling from ear to ear.

  I nod, then grab his hand and put it on my stomach. Of course, nothing happens.

  “Wait for it.”

  “I can’t feel anything,” he says.

  We wait. I pray the baby will do it again for Frank’s sake. I want him to feel it. It’s awesome and amazing and nothing like anything else in this world.

  It kicks again. I gasp slightly and look up at him.

  “There. Did you feel that?”

  He laughs. His entire face lights up. “Oh, my God. That was intense.”

  I smile while he leans over and kisses me again. It feels good…like we’re one now. Like we have always been together and it is meant to be.

  Frank bends down and kisses my stomach, then caresses it gently. I laugh because it’s tickling me when my eyes fall on something outside the panoramic windows.

  A shadow.

  “What is that?”

  Frank sits up straight. “What is what?”

  As I look outside, the shadow suddenly moves, and soon it is gone. “Out there. There was someone there. Someone was standing over there by the row of trees.”

  Frank gives me a look. “All the way out here? It can’t be. Who would come all the way up here? We’re so far away from everyone. The next-door cabin is all the way up on the hill, and it’s empty. We walked past it earlier on our hike, remember? There was no one there, not a single soul. Not even a car parked outside.”

  “That’s why I don’t like it,” I say. “It’s not a joke. I’m telling you. There was someone out there. I am certain, Frank. I saw someone move by the trees.”

  “Are you sure this pregnancy isn’t making you paranoid?” he asks with a grin. I don’t find it funny at all and ignore him.

  “I don’t like it, Frank.”

  Frank gets up and walks to the big windows, then looks outside, shielding his eyes from the light from the living room.

  “I don’t see anyone,” he says, shaking his head. “I don’t think there’s anyone there.”

  “But I saw someone. This person was standing there, over there by the trees, and then when I saw him, he moved away, running away fast.”

  “Maybe it was a bear?” Frank says. I realize he’s just trying to calm me down, but I know what I saw. “Yeah, that’s probably it. They have a lot of bears up here, that’s why they have those extra locks on the bins outside, so the bears can’t get into the garbage.”

  “No,” I say and get up from the couch. “That was no bear.”

  I look out the window myself, toward the trees. There’s nothing there, at least no one I can see. But I know I saw someone, and it was no animal. It moved like a human. And I know deep within me that’s what it was. It was a person. It was a person who was looking in at us.

  Chapter 50

  I run up to the bedroom and grab my suitcase and start packing. Frank comes up to me a few minutes later. He is standing in the doorway.

  “Hey. What are you doing?”

  “We’re leaving.”

  Frank steps forward. He stops me and grabs me by the shoulders. “You gotta calm down, Laurie. I looked out, and there was no one there.”

  “I saw someone,” I say, almost in tears. “I saw someone looking in at us.”

  Frank stares at me, then exhales. “Okay, say you did see someone. Maybe it was just a homeless guy or someone walking their dog late.”

  I shake my head. “What if it’s Chip? What if he’s coming for me? I saw him on the bridge. I saw him push Vera. I am dangerous to him. If he killed Vera and all the others as well, then he’ll see no problem in killing me too, to make sure I don’t talk.”

  “I thought you said you weren’t certain it was him?” Frank says. “You saw the truck, and you found the case, but…the truck was sold two weeks earlier, right?”

  “I know. I know what I said,” I moan and sit down on the bed with a heavy sigh. I feel so confused like I have all these pieces to a puzzle, but I have no idea how to make them fit together. My head is hurting. I hide my face between my hands. Frank sits down next to me, an arm wrapped around my shoulder.

  “These past several months have been tough on you, Laurie. But you need to try and relax. You’re beginning to sound a little paranoid lately. I went outside just a minute ago to check if there was anyone there, and I walked all around the cabin. I saw nothing. You’re safe here, Laurie. Not Chip, nor Ryan can come anywhere near you.”

  I lift my head and look into his eyes. There’s something about Frank that makes me feel so safe.

  “I am seriously worried about you, Laurie. It’s destroying you. You’re not sleeping; you’re barely eating. You’re in a worse state than me. I’m the one who’s lost two sisters.”

  “I know; I know,” I say. “I’m sorry for making this about me. I’m just…”

  He kisses my lips to shut me up. I let him. I don’t want to say anymore. I am so tired, so exhausted from the lack of proper sleep for weeks, and the constant worrying and wondering. All it has done is to make me feel like they’re right about me, that I am just crazy. Did I really actually see a guy with Vera on the bridge? The police have asked me this over and over again. What was he wearing? What did he look like? And I can’t answer. All I remember is the blue baseball cap. It bothers me greatly that I can’t remember anything else. They’ve told me they believe I might have imagined it—that maybe my mind played tricks on me because it was too hard for me to realize that my best friend might kill herself. I am beginning to fear they are right. The more days that pass, the more I feel like maybe have just been fooling myself all along, seeing what I wanted to see. But what about the bruises I got at Duke’s house? They were very real. There was someone there, someone trying to stop me. I was attacked. Just like I did see someone on that bridge.

  I shake my head and push Frank away. He looks at me intently.

  “I am not crazy,” I say.

  “I never said you were,” he says.

  I smile, then pull him onto the bed with me.

  We sleep in. I have a good night’s rest for once, and I feel a lot better when we wake up. It’s raining today, making everything gray and wet outside. It’s warmer today than the day before, and the rain is making the small piles of snow disappear, washing them away. Soon, it’s like there’s water everywhere, running from the top of the mountain anywhere it is allowed to. It creates a small flood running past the house and into the creek below, turning the ground into mud. The wooden porch outside, facing the creek, is wet and nasty. The fog covers the mountaintops in front of us. We stay inside, drinking our coffee and eating pancakes. Frank puts more wood in the fireplace and lights it. I cover myself with a blanket and read to him from the book we started reading. Hours go by until we finally grow tired of the story and put the book away. I call the kids and ask them what they’ve been doing. Damian has been on the beach all day, while Isabella preferred to stay in my sister’s condo. She tells me she doesn’t like the sun or the beach anymore. I tell her she used to love the beach and that I couldn’t drag her out of the ocean when she was younger and that she might change her mind when she grows older, but she doesn’t believe me.

  “People change,” she says, then adds that she’d much rather just watch her favorite YouTubers or play Skyrim on her computer.

  I don’t want to get into a fight with her, so I tell her I have to go, then say goodbye. Frank is in the shower as I hang up. I stare at my screen, then at the number tha
t texted me after I was attacked at Duke’s house and called me from my parent’s place. I have tried to call it numerous times and texted all my frustrations to it, yelling at the bastard that I’ll come for him. I have also given it to the police, but they can’t trace it since it’s a burner phone, they say. Probably thrown out in a trash bin somewhere. I put my phone in my pocket, then walk upstairs to find a sweater. I am freezing.

  I walk into the bedroom, where I have put my suitcase and Frank his sports bag. The water is running in the bathroom as Frank is still in the shower. I grab my suitcase, then go through my things, looking for something warmer, but the only sweater I brought isn’t comfortable. I look at Franks’ bag. He has the best hoodie that I love to wear. It’s so soft on the skin and so big on me that I can almost use it as a dress. I love that one and go to his bag to find it. I’m sure he won’t mind. I dig in and rummage through the bag. I find his denim shirt, a couple of T-shirts, his jeans, and then there it is. The blue sweater I love so much. I grab it, and, as I do, my hand touches something else, something that makes my stomach flip as I pull it out and look at it.

  A cell phone.

  It’s not the iPhone that he usually uses; this is a small cheap-looking phone that I have never seen before. I sit down on the bed, looking at the phone in my hand. My pulse is quickening, and I can hear my own breath. I debate within myself whether to turn it on or not, but it’s useless. I know I’m going to since there is no way I’m going just to leave this alone. A phone like this can’t be good news.

  As I wait for it to turn on, I tell myself it might be nothing, that maybe it’s for his work, or maybe it’s an old phone he forgot to get rid of, but I know deep in my heart that’s not it. I know I am about to step out in deep waters, and that there is no way back.