Just One Week (Just One Song)

by Stacey Lynn

  It’s enough to let me know she cares. Which maybe should be enough for me right now, but it’s just … it’s just fucking not.

  I take a drink of my beer and lean back on the couch with my eyes closed, and the noise of the road and the voices of the band drifting around me. I don’t hear them. Not really. Mia’s the only thing that consumes my head. She’s in my head and my heart and it’s going to be six more damn weeks before I can see her.

  I want to wrap my arms around her waist, rip her clothes off, kiss her soft lips, and then I want to bury myself in her. I want to inhale her, drag my tongue across every small scar she’s going to have, and then kiss them until she realizes that I just don’t give a shit what she looks like or that she might get sick again. I want to make love to her and then fuck her into oblivion; erasing every bad memory she’s ever had, every thought that she’s not the woman I need.

  Because she is. I think she’s the only thing I do need. I need her in my life, in my house – our house – in my bed, and in my damn arms before it’s been so long that I forget how she feels wrapped up in them.

  Fuck it. I pull out my phone and send her a text; not quite sure she’ll answer, but still needing to try. I promised I wouldn’t give up chasing her, and I won’t.

  Me: Hey gorgeous. How’s the day?

  I set the phone down and open my eyes to see Zack watching me.

  “What?” I bark out, and then take a pull from my beer.

  “You look like you lost your dog.”

  I flick my beer cap at him. “And your point, asshole?”

  “It’s just nice to finally not be the only pussy-whipped man on this bus anymore.”

  I look around. Garrett is on the phone with Chloe, Jake is texting Sammy, and Nicole is reading a book. “Open your eyes, fucker. We’re all pussy whipped.”

  “Speak for yourself,” Jake says without taking his eyes off his phone. “I’m not getting any pussy. Yet.”

  Zack leans over and punches his arm, and Jake cries out. “Shut up, ass. That’s my sister.”

  “Yeah, well your sister’s hot.”

  I watch Zack move to the fridge and pull out his own beer. He’s still not happy with whatever is going on with Sammy and Jake. He’s probably fighting the urge to not punch Jake in the face. I shake my head slowly at Jake, telling him to just leave it alone.

  “I’m not getting any pussy either,” Garrett sullenly says, finally closing his phone.

  I raise an eyebrow and smirk. “Your wife’s pregnant. I’m pretty sure that means you’ve been getting pussy.”

  “Yeah, but then she got pregnant and sick. Then she got big and swollen and she barely let me touch her before we left. It’s killing me.”

  “You guys are a bunch of babies.” Nicole closes her book, stands up, stretches her arms over her head, and she gives Zack the look. That one. The one that tells us we’re all going to be sleeping with ear plugs in our ears tonight. “But speaking of pussy … Zack?”

  He chugs down the rest of his beer before tossing it in the trash. “See you later, suckers.” And with a one-finger salute, he follows his pregnant wife to their bed, proving to us all that he really is pussy-whipped.

  God I miss Mia.

  “What’s going on with Mia?” Jake asks as he pulls up the table and starts dishing out cards. Garrett and I move on instinct to the table and grab the cards he’s dealt.

  “Don’t know, man. She won’t talk to me.” And just to make sure, I check my phone but there’s no return text.

  “You going after her when the tour is done?”

  I look at Garrett like he’s become the biggest idiot on the planet. The question is so stupid he doesn’t deserve an answer.

  “Two cards,” I say to Jake and slide two from my hand towards him on the table. There’s only so much poker you can play to pass the time, but tonight I just want my head numbed. To do something this mindless to take my mind off the rest of the crap going through it.

  “I like her. I think she’s good for you.” I punch Garrett in the shoulder.

  “You’re such a pansy,” I tell him, and then look up.

  Good god, we are all a bunch of pansies. Sitting on a tour bus, driving around the country, drinking beer and playing cards, and all we can talk is about the women we’re missing.

  We keep this up and we might need to become a country band.

  Jake switches the conversation to music and the tour and the talk of girls is gone, but not forgotten. As soon as I’ve cleaned Jake out of a few hundred dollars, my phone buzzes in my pocket.

  I don’t have to take it out to know who it is.

  I throw down my cards and move to the lounge room, closing the door first.

  Mia: Good day. Saw the doctor. How was yours?

  She saw the doctor for her six week check-up this is the best news I’ve had all day.

  Me: And?

  I type back, anxious to know what he said.

  Mia: He thinks they’re good, but won’t know for a few days until results come back.

  Me: I miss you.

  Mia: I know. Good night, Chase.

  I squeeze my phone so hard I think I might crush it. This is how she ends them, every damn time. I’ve learned enough to know that as soon as it’s said, her phone is turned off and she won’t respond to anything else I say.

  It doesn’t stop me from trying though.

  Me: I love you. See you soon.

  I’ve been saying the same thing to her since the first text she returned. I can’t wait to see her and tell her to her face that I love her. I’m going to tell her every day for the rest of my life until she realizes she is the woman I need.

  She’s it for me.

  Hopefully someday soon, she’ll believe me.

  I’m woken up to the sound of pounding on the door to the lounge room and Jake shouting my name. Rubbing my hands down my face, I climb out of bed with my head pounding and not bothering to put any pants on.

  “What?” I growl as soon as I open the door.

  Jake is breathing heavily and there’s a bunch of shouting coming from the front of the bus.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “Chloe,” Jake finally gasps out. “Chloe’s in labor two months early and Garrett has to get on a plane.”

  Shit. I don’t know anything about pregnancies and going into labor, but I’m guessing there’s a reason they’re supposed to last for nine months. Two months early can’t be good.

  “All right,” I say and walk back into the room and start getting dressed. I pull my jeans on, not bothering to button them and throw a shirt over my head. It smells like sweat from last night and I realize I never showered after the concert.

  Gross. Oh well. “So what are we doing while he’s gone?”

  If we just had a show last night, we have a few days off. The bus was supposed to leave for Philly this morning but apparently that’s been delayed. We’re somewhere in Ohio right now. I’m not even sure where the nearest airport is.

  Jake looks at me like I’m stupid.

  “We’re going with him, dumbass. Get packed. Aaron’s rescheduling our next show and we’ll go from there.”

  Right. Of course we’re going back to L.A.

  “Is it really that bad?” We’re walking into the living area of the bus and Nicole flashes me the same look Jake just did.

  Apparently my dumbass-ness knows no bounds.

  “Two months early is huge, Chase. The baby could have serious breathing issues, development problems …” she pauses and runs her hands over her own stomach and her eyes get teary. Shit. This really could be serious.

  I press a quick kiss to Nic’s temple and apologize. She’s clearly worried, probably about her own baby as well as Garrett and Chloe’s.

  “Get your lips off my chick,” Zack says with laughter in his voice as he hits the room.

  I wink at her just before I wrap my arm all the way around Nicole’s neck so my hand covers her mouth. I grin widely and dip her back a
s I hear her gasp in a breath and wrap my other arm around her waist, dipping her low to the ground and pressing my own lips against the back of my hand.

  It looks just like it did when we were in middle school and pretending to kiss girls.

  “What the hell man!” Zack shouts as I bring Nic back up to her feet and take my hand away.

  “She’s tasty. I see why you like her.” I laugh and head for a cup of coffee just as a hand hits the back of my head and throws it forward. I rub the back of my head and hear Nic start laughing. I should have been expecting that.

  I flash them both a smile and blow Nic a kiss as I leave the room.

  I’m pretty sure I hear the words douche-nugget fall from her lips, but I don’t bother asking her what in the hell that means.

  Within an hour, we’re boarding a chartered plane out of Cincinnati and headed for Los Angeles. According to Garrett, Chloe started having contractions yesterday but didn’t think it was that big of a deal so she tried to go back to bed. When she couldn’t sleep, she called her doctor who told her to get into the hospital immediately. Once there, they tried to stop the contractions but they haven’t had much luck.

  It looks like Garrett is going to be having a baby sooner or later. That’s really all I understand from the explanation I’m given and it doesn’t really sound like a good thing.

  I pop some head phones in my ear and pull out my phone to see a text from Mia.

  What the hell? It’s the first time she’s initiated anything.

  Mia: Have a safe flight to L.A. Tell Chloe I’m thinking of her.

  I stare at my phone like it’s become a foreign object. I figure Nicole must have called her while we were all running around getting our shit together this morning. What does she mean by this and why is she sending it to me?

  And when did I become that big of a girl that I’m trying to decipher text messages? It’s only ten in the morning, but now I’m wondering if it’s too early for a drink.

  I haven’t heard from her in over a week since our last text about her doctor visit and the scans being good.

  She hasn’t responded to a single question I’ve asked and I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t started pissing me off.

  Mia doesn’t play games. In the beginning, she was clear that we were friends who had sex. I was the one who blurred that line and changed the rules, but even months ago when we were in L.A. together, she was honest. She promised to give me as much as she could and I took it willingly.

  But these last few weeks, it’s like she’s been fucking around with me. I love her. I want her. I feel like I need her, but I’m not quite sure I need all the mind games she’s been fucking me over with. She misses me and ignores me. And just when I’m starting to think she’s not that into me, she’ll send me something random, like this, and pull me back in.

  A dark thought creeps into the corners of my mind and before I can stop it, it snowballs so it’s front and center.

  Maybe I should cut my losses with Mia. We could always just go back to being friends. But without sex. Because I’m not sure I can sink into her again and not fall even more in love with her.

  I don’t need these games and the distance. I never would have thought Mia would be like this, and yeah she’s going through a lot and she needs her time and all that shit she’s fed me.

  I get that. I wanted to be with her through it all. Hell, I would have dropped out of the tour. I would have insisted we cancelled it so I could be with her. But she’s the one who has pushed me away.

  She didn’t want me around. She didn’t tell me what was even going on with her. Hell, Mia didn’t even want to start a relationship with me. Once the doubt creeps into my mind, it doesn’t stop. All the doubts and worries I’ve had about Mia flood my mind until the only thing I’m conscious of thinking about is the fact I need more whiskey.

  She’s the one who didn’t want a relationship with me in the first place and maybe it’s not because she was just scared. Maybe it’s because she just doesn’t fucking love me. Maybe there’s a chance that she really never did want anything more than friends and sex benefits with me in the first place.

  And maybe when it’s all said and done, everything else is just a bunch of shit she fed me and I fell for it.

  The dumbass that I am.

  But I’m done. I don’t need to waste my time sticking around for someone when it’s clear I’m not who they want.

  The thought makes my stomach churn.

  But even as the plane lands, I’m unable to shake the thought that Mia was right. Everyone always leaves, and this time, it’s her.

  It amazes me the differences that exist in a waiting room on the maternity floor versus the waiting rooms in any other area of the hospital. I haven’t spent much time in hospitals, but the last time I was in one was when Zack was in a car accident. Eight days that asshole spent in some sort of coma-like state. Nicole never left the floor. Hell, she barely left his room the entire time.

  I have never been so worried.

  But the energy is different in this room. Hell, everything is different about this room. Instead of plastic gray chairs, shitty fluorescent lights, and bright white walls, here we have comfortable, thickly padded chairs with wooden armrests in bright kid colors. There’s a mural on the wall of Mickey Mouse and a bunch of his friends along with a toy area in one corner. Some cartoon is playing on a small down flat screen television on the wall.

  Here, people are nervous, but excited. There’s a feeling of happy anticipation. At least with most of the people. Nic is chewing the sides of her thumbnail, bouncing her knee nervously up and down. Zack has his arm wrapped around her, trying to calm her down but he doesn’t look like he’s doing all that great either. Mostly he’s scowling at Sammy and Jake who are sitting in an opposite corner; clearly still not happy about the idea of the two of them together.

  But whatever. At least Jake has someone.

  I’m the only bastard in the room alone and my head hurts from the few whiskey shots I took on the plane. I smell like stale sweat and cigarette smoke and even a few of the nurses have looked at me like I’m sort of deranged criminal instead of the friend of a guy whose wife is about to have a baby.

  I don’t blame them. I feel deranged. My fingers itch to pick up the phone to call Mia, but I refuse. The odds of her answering are slim to mother-fucking-none. I’m not stupid. It’s her game. I’m at least proud of myself for the fact that I haven’t caved on my three hour decision to just move the hell on.

  I’ve wasted enough time with her.

  A nurse enters the waiting room and looks at all of us. Her eyes flutter nervously and her cheeks blush a little bit. She knows who we are, and in her head, I imagine her counting out ten silent seconds so she doesn’t go all fan-shit crazy over Zack. Her eyes settle on Nicole and her hands shake a little bit when she takes a few steps toward her and Zack.

  It’s not an uncommon reaction. I’ve learned to ignore it, for the most part, but today – I sort of don’t want to.

  Her black hair is pulled back into a short ponytail. It looks a bit messy and underneath her eyes there’s a slight purple color. I’m guessing she’s pulling a long shift. She’s small … and cute. A bit innocent looking.

  The perfect distraction. Exactly what I need right now. Or at least that’s what my dick thinks because as soon as I notice her eyes, my own eyes drift lower and lower, and I’m guessing that even though she’s short, she has the perfect amount of curves under her scrubs.

  One side of my mouth turns up into a small grin. That grin. I know exactly what it does to women. So I get up and move to go sit on the other side of Nicole as the nurse introduces herself.

  Her name is Ashley. And it’s perfect. It’s nothing like Mia.

  Shit. I blink the thought of her out of my mind and try listening – still grinning.

  “Garrett asked me to come out here and fill his friends in.” Nicole nods her head encouragingly and she continues, “Chloe’s labor is progressing rapi
dly. We tried giving her Magnesium Sulfate when she got here to stop the contractions,” her eyes flutter between the three of us. When she looks at me, her cheeks turn pinker and I smile wider. Nice. “But it hasn’t worked so the OB on call has decided to let the labor run its course.”

  Nic lets out a small gasp and I see her hand tighten around Zack’s. “How is the baby going to be?”

  Ashley presses her lips together before speaking. “There are some risks. The biggest one is that his lungs may not be fully developed. If that’s the case, he may need to spend some time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit receiving oxygen until he’s ready to go home. Some babies are born this early and only stay for a day or two, other times … it takes longer.”

  Nic’s eyes fill with tears. It sounds like decent news to me, though.

  I stand up, making little nurse Ashley take a few steps back. She is short. Around one foot shorter than me. I twist my baseball hat around backwards. It’s not bothering me; I just want to see if she checks out my arms when I do.

  She doesn’t disappoint. Her eyes flicker to my biceps and her cheeks turn pink.

  I’m a dick. The only thing I’m concerned about is wiping Mia’s memory out of mind.

  Slowly, I stick out my hand. She looks at me, down to my hand, and back at me when she puts her hand in mine. I see her decision to not let me, my closeness with her, or my height – intimidate her.

  “Thank you for keeping us updated,” I say, and then just because I am a dick, I slide my thumb across her pulse. Her hand freezes in mine for just a split second before she goes to pull it back, but I grip it tighter. “Can I go see them?”

  She looks down at her hand and I let go, letting my fingers run lightly across her palm as I lower it down to my side. Her hair sticks up straight all over her arm. This is going to be easy.