The Ex-Wife

by Dow, Candice

  I looked over at him and smiled. “You love me, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “I love you too, boo,” I said as I hugged him.

  “Yeah,” he said, “I’m just glad you’re back in the A. I sure missed your crazy ass.”

  “I missed you too.”

  Tayshawn didn’t even mention my having to give up Caron. He knew this was the day, but he also knew that it would hurt too bad to talk about it. You can’t buy a friend like that.

  Ayana

  Caron was a charming little boy and seemed to adjust almost instantly. I knew it was a temporary adaptation. He would shortly begin to wonder if this arrangement was permanent and why his normal routine was being interrupted. While the common saying that kids are resilient is true, they also fail to interpret situations on an adult level, which often leads to the wrong interpretation. Then they get older and their childhood interpretations result in negative behavior. I tried to tell Cam that it was important that we explain everything to Caron.

  Cam immediately disputed my thoughts. He told me that I might be a psychology expert but he was the expert in Caron. It was clear that was his opinion and it wasn’t going to change. It was unfortunate that he refused to listen to someone with all the knowledge in the situation. I wondered if he’d ever listen to me when it came to Caron. I wasn’t sure, but what I was positive about was that I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. I didn’t plan on arguing with him daily about what I knew to be right.

  After we picked Caron up, we headed to Cam’s house in Buckhead to pack up some of his things. When we got out of the car, Caron asked, “Do you live here now too?”

  I looked at Cam to see if he was going to tell Caron now that we had a new home. Cam just smiled.

  “We’ll all be living together, but not in this house,” I said uncomfortably.

  “In the house my mommy lives in?”

  Cam finally rescued me and said, “No, remember I told you we were going to get a new house with a basketball court?”

  Caron squinted and pretended to be thinking hard. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Well, that’s where we’ll all be living.”

  “Cool,” Caron said excitedly.

  It concerned me that Cam didn’t want to tackle real issues with Caron. He just wanted Caron to be ecstatic about moving in with him, because the first thing he mentioned about the new house was the basketball court. His approach made me uncomfortable.

  We all walked into the house. You could almost tell that Cam hadn’t been there since the last time he’d had Caron, which was nearly three months ago. He told Caron to pack up his games. Caron had a Wii, an Xbox, and a DS. He gathered up everything and began throwing items into a duffel bag. “Does he have clothes here?” I asked.

  “A few, but I think we’re going to have to go to the mall.”

  “Are you going to pack up what he has?”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  The way he responded left me feeling like he didn’t want to include me in this. As if he was getting his son, not we. I felt a little betrayed, but I decided to let him soak up the joy of reuniting with Caron. I didn’t want to rain on that. My lips were sealed and I wasn’t going to comment about anything unless he asked. I went into Cam’s office and downloaded the book that I had been working on since we met. I figured that instead of giving Cam advice, I would type my thoughts for people who cared about what I had to say. It had been weeks since I’d opened the document. After Cam proposed, I’d gotten a sixty-day extension from my publisher. It seemed like that time had flown by and I was under the gun again. As I scanned the pages and realized there were so many other topics to cover, I felt overwhelmed. I knew I would need to request another extension.

  Finally they were all ready to leave with a duffel bag filled with game systems and a backpack carrying Caron’s MacBook and DVDs. I only observed and wondered if Cam and Yasmin ever forced him to do anything besides what he wanted to do.

  I wanted to stop by my condo to pick up mail that had been transferred. Because I had rerouted my mail to two separate addresses in the same week, a lot of my stuff was being misdirected to the condo. No one had rented the place yet and we’d subsequently dropped the price. I didn’t have to pay any bills with Cameron so it wasn’t killing me to pay the mortgage, but I preferred not to pay for an empty place if I didn’t have to. Cam pulled up in front of the building to let me out.

  I stopped in the mail room before heading up. There was nothing in the unit, but since the vandalism, I always checked to be sure nothing was wrong. When I got to the front door there was a letter taped to the door. It was from the same law firm that had left a certified slip in my mailbox. Suddenly I was confused and anxious to see what this was about. I opened the door and quickly ripped open the envelope and began to read.

  It stated that I owed a property management company eighteen thousand dollars. The company was claiming that I had signed a one-year lease, stayed for two months, and never paid any rent. I assumed this was a mistake having to do with my apartment until I noticed the property was located in Charlotte, North Carolina. What the hell? I quickly dialed the attorney.

  When the receptionist picked up, I immediately began explaining that there must have been a mix-up. She transferred me to an attorney. He was adamant that I had signed a lease in May and ditched the place as soon as an eviction was about to occur. I was disputing him when it dawned on me that the dates mentioned coincided with Yasmin’s disappearance and return.

  “I’ve obviously been a victim of identity theft. I have never lived or worked in North Carolina. I have no reason to sign a lease. I’m not exactly sure what this leasing company did to confirm the tenant’s identification, but it obviously wasn’t enough. I have no intention of paying this.”

  “Ms. Blue, I understand, but I hear the same thing every day. At this time, with the information we have, you have not given me any reason to believe this debt doesn’t belong to you. We have every intention of continuing with the debt collection process.”

  I gasped. Cam was calling repeatedly on the other line. Every time he hung up he’d call right back. My head was spinning. “First of all, I need a copy of the lease and the rental application. Is it possible for you to fax it to me?”

  He agreed, and I hung up the phone pissed off and wanting to strangle Yasmin. I felt like I was in a twilight zone. I stood there in my empty condo and wondered why this was all happening to me. Cam as a single entity was everything I’d ever dreamed of, but his past baggage was getting too heavy. I wanted to just drop it in hopes that all this drama would disappear if I gave him back to her. I held my phone in my hand wondering if I should call Aaliyah or Mandy. I certainly didn’t want to bring all this energy into the car with Caron and Cameron, but I did want to talk about it. I’d have to censor my conversation when I got in the car with Cam. And I wasn’t sure what kind of roads my mind would take if I called one of my friends. I paced back and forth, breathing deeply, meditating. My phone startled me.

  “Hey, babe,” I said nervously.

  “Whatchu doing in there?”

  “I got this letter from an attorney claiming I signed a lease to a property and didn’t pay the rent. Now they are trying to sue me for an entire year’s rent.”

  “That by itself is illegal. For them to get an entire year they would have to prove they weren’t able to lease it after you left.”

  “The point is that I never signed this lease, Cam,” I snapped.

  “Yeah, baby. I got it. Don’t worry. Just c’mon down. We’ll call my attorney when you get here.”

  My heart was beating rapidly. I wanted to cry. I knew that I could prove the renter wasn’t me, but why was I dealing with this? What was the purpose? I couldn’t find the answers. I was agitated. I’d gone from mistress to vandalism victim to car-theft victim to child thief, and now to property squatter, in a little over three months. I wanted out. I wanted to pack up my shit and move from our sprawling estat
e into my fourteen-hundred-square-foot condo.

  I walked out of the building. Steam was probably rising from my ears as Cam unlocked the doors. Caron smiled at me and said, “I thought you got lost.”

  I smiled. “Let me read the letter,” Cameron said. He looked it over. “The address is in North Carolina.”

  “Me and Mommy went to North Carolina for a break,” Caron said.

  A sudden silence swept through the car. Cam had just figured out what I already knew. Yasmin had somehow stolen my identity. Cam’s jaw muscle began to pop. “We’ll talk when we get home.”

  I wanted so badly to shout, “I’m leaving!” Instead I said, “I’m pressing charges.”

  “You should,” he said hesitantly.

  “I need you to stop by my office. I have to get the fax from the attorney.”

  He agreed and didn’t ask any questions. We drove there in silence and I imagined that Caron figured he’d said something wrong, because he played with his DS in the back of the car silently. I was preoccupied with one of his mother’s crazy stunts. I wanted to be kind to him but every time I looked in the backseat, I saw her. I saw her anger. I saw her jealousy and I hated it. How was I supposed to love a child who came from a woman like that? I’d counseled many people and told them love was a choice, but as I sat there in this adverse predicament, my emotions were overpowering my intellect.

  Cam pulled up in front of my office and when I opened the door, he touched my arm. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”

  I walked into the office and there seemed to be an extra-strong eucalyptus scent. I turned on the lights and walked into my therapy room. The lights were already on. That was strange. I hadn’t left the lights on and I knew for sure that the receptionist hadn’t. I wondered who had been there. Then I thought maybe I had left the lights on. Everything was moving so rapidly, I wasn’t sure of anything these days. I walked over to the fax machine and picked up the papers. The entire application had been completed in handwriting that certainly wasn’t mine. My Social Security number was on there and I felt sick. I felt nauseous. Just before heading to the front door, I turned the alarm on and headed out.

  A flashlight was pointed in my eyes as I lay on a gurney. Cam was standing over me. The paramedic was saying, “Ayana, can you hear me?” He kept repeating it and I was confused as to where I was and how I’d gotten here. “What’s your name?”

  “Ayana, Ayana Blue.”

  “How many fingers am I holding up?”

  “Two.” I looked at Cam and asked, “What’s going on?”

  “You fainted as you were leaving the office.”

  I felt overwhelmed and confused. “Wait.”

  One of the paramedics said, “Just relax, ma’am. We need to take your vitals.”

  “Cam?”

  “Just calm down, Ayana.”

  This thing was overwhelming me and I couldn’t rationalize the situation any longer. They took my pressure and checked my pulse. Everything was fine but they decided to take me into the hospital just to be safe. They claimed my heartbeat had been really faint while I was out. Good relationships don’t include all this drama. Cam was a good person, but the relationship was not healthy.

  Cam dropped Caron off at his older sister’s house and came to the hospital with me. By the time he got there, they had done my blood work and we were waiting for the results.

  He could probably see the finality in my eyes when he walked through the door. Before I could say anything, he said, “I know you didn’t sign up for this and I was probably selfish to think I could have a peaceful, happy relationship.”

  “I don’t think you’re selfish to want that, but obviously you have an irrational person on your hands and I’m not sure I can do this anymore.”

  He stepped closer to my bedside and grabbed my hand. “I don’t think it should end this way. We don’t have problems. All of our problems are external to me and you.”

  “But they are an extension of you. She’s done all of this because of you. What do you think she’s going to do now that Caron is with us? She’s lost you and him. Why would it end? It’s only going to get worse. I don’t want to wait around to see what else she’s capable of.”

  “You’re just going to throw our vows away?”

  “For peace…yes, I am.”

  He leaned over and hugged me tightly. “Ayana, I really want to be with you. I want this to work, but I understand how you feel. I understand that being harassed isn’t what you deserve. Let’s think about our options. Maybe we can hire a private detective or file charges against her. We can’t quit so fast.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.”

  “No, it’s not easy. It’s what I feel. I don’t want to lose you, especially not for an insane person.”

  The nurse came in to give us the results of the blood work. She asked if I would mind Cam staying while she discussed the results and I told her I didn’t.

  “Well, Ms. Small, we know why you fainted.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes, congrats are in order.”

  My eyebrow rose, as I was lost. Cam began to smile. I said, “Huh?”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  I could have fainted again. Instead I lay there with a baffled look on my face, wondering who was playing all these tricks on me. Why now? Why, when I’d finally made up my mind this was over? Why? I visualized banging my head against the wall. What the hell had I been thinking of? How the hell had I gotten caught up in this situation? I wanted to hide under a rock and never come back out.

  The nurse said the doctor had prescribed some prenatal vitamins. My iron and vitamin D levels were low. She suggested I get plenty of rest. I’m certain she felt polar opposite energies coming from Cam and me. He looked like God had given him an opportunity to redeem this relationship and I looked like, You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

  When she walked out, Cam’s smile turned into an all-out grin. I looked at him, questions looming in my heart and mind. I was connected to this man forever, which in turn made me somehow connected to Yasmin. I lay there wondering if I would be able to sleep if I made the decision to terminate. I wasn’t sure I was willing to do that. What I knew was that I wanted this lady out of my life and there was no way I could have that and have Cam’s baby.

  “You know there are no mistakes,” he said.

  I turned to face the wall away from him. I liked my life drama-free, but that was also lonely. Cam stroked my hair. “Ayana, I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I take full responsibility for it though.”

  “You taking responsibility doesn’t make the situation go away.”

  “I wish it did. I’m going to take care of Yasmin.”

  I turned to face him. “Cam, don’t do anything stupid.”

  “I promise I have no intention of doing anything stupid. I know that I want you. I want the baby. I want us to be a family and I will not let Yasmin run my life.”

  His tone frightened me, as if he’d be willing to harm her. I said, “Cam, please don’t do anything to hurt her.”

  “Ayana, people like Yas, you have to deal with them through legal channels. I’ve always been slightly sympathetic because she is the mother of my son, but that shit is over. You are my wife and I have to protect you against all odds.”

  It hurt that I wasn’t happy about my pregnancy when I should have been, considering my age. I felt full and empty at the same time. Up and down, a roller coaster of emotions plagued me as I lay there preparing to be discharged.

  Yasmin

  I was sitting in the shop drinking a cup of coffee when my cell phone rang. I was shocked to see Cam’s number, knowing that I had just dropped Caron off to those thieves. I quickly answered because I didn’t know what he could want.

  “Yeah.”

  “Listen, I’m tired of talking about this. I’m just calling you to let you know that we know what you did with renting that house in North Carolina in Ayana’s name.”

  “What the hell
makes you think that I want to use that bitch’s name for anything?”

  “We’re pressing charges.”

  “Haven’t you guys done enough to humiliate me? I’m pressing charges too. I’m tired of you accusing me of shit I didn’t do.”

  He laughed and it angered me. I started screaming, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”

  I didn’t even realize that I was screaming so loudly in the shop until I looked around and saw every client staring at me like I was a crazy woman. Just as I headed out of the shop, I noticed Cam had hung up.

  When I walked back in, Tayshawn shook his head. “Girl, you’re going to need a restraining order against them, because they are out to get you, girl.”

  “You’re right, Tay.”

  I went in my wallet and pulled out the sheriff’s card. I went outside so I could speak with him privately. “Hi, Jacob, my name is Yasmin Small. We met earlier…”

  I could hear his smile. “Yes, Yasmin. How are you?”

  “Not so good.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Well, my ex called and accused me of some things and says they are going to press charges on me for something I didn’t do. Can they do that?”

  “They can file a civil suit if they have enough evidence.”

  “What if they don’t?”

  “They can still file a suit but they’ll have to prove it and civil suits are about money. If you have no money to give them, there’s nothing they can do.”

  “I’m so stressed out.”

  He said, “I’m sorry to hear that, Yasmin. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.”

  “Dinner and drinks is always nice.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  “As my son says, ‘We’ll see means no.’”

  “I’m not saying no, I’m just saying I would probably be crossing professional lines.”

  “Oh, break the rules a little, Jacob.”