Love's Joy

by Emil Toth

  “My dear, as a High Priest’s apprentice, you will hear many stories you would rather not. For the sake of those petitioning your help, you must not let it trap you in the past. You must remain in the present. You must be level headed and give the best console you can to those in need. And no matter how seamy the stories or people you must freely give them your love.”

  Ashlee shook her head stubbornly. “I shall do my best, though I do not understand why she wanted to take her life. She is years younger than I am. I suffered physically and emotionally every day I spent as a slave, and I never thought about taking my life.”

  “My dear what makes you think she was not a slave? Like you she had no value or worth in her society. She was not appreciated as a human and was not honored or truly loved. She suffered from hopelessness as you did. The difference between you and her was she did not have the strength of heart and character you did. You learned it from your mother and it was also inherent within you. You brought it over from other lifetimes and were able to incorporate it into your character.”

  Ashlee was forlorn and heaved a sigh. “I apologize for my lack of understanding and patience.”

  “It is important you learn from this and apply it to what might take place in the future.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Zafir watched the Kahali travelers until they were out of sight. He walked dejectedly back to his home. Inside he sat down and wished for the hundredth time his wife was across from him and he could share his troubles. She had, on occasions, made suggestions to clarify problems he faced. What he missed was her willingness to listen to his ramblings. It helped him come to decisions. His clarity of mind was never the same after her death.

  His mind wandered to what Netti’s husband would say after he found out she had tried to commit suicide and left with the Kahalis. He was certain her attempted suicide would not perturb him as much as her fleeing with the Kahalis. The man was a great fool as were many of his countrymen.

  He had to find the right words to tell his story to the rest of the council. Hopefully, they would not be as unreasonable as Netti’s husband. Having served on the council for so long, he found he never could be assured of anything with anyone. He knew this was the case due to his change in character. With this latest incident, he had become more aware of the narrowness of his countrymen and their constricting religious’ views.

  He gathered his weapons, some food and headed for the plains to get away from Netti’s idiotic husband and the questions his fellow councilmen would ask. After some peace and quiet and a night’s sleep he would approach the other councilmen and discuss the horrendous events of the day.

  Zafir awoke the next day, ate and made his way to councilman, Abir’s, house. He stopped near the entrance and called his name. Abir appeared. “Where were you yesterday? We tried to find you. Netti is nowhere to be found.”

  “It is what I want to talk to you and Mirza about. Are you free to come with me to talk to him?”

  “Of course. We do need to have Netti’s husband in on the discussions.”

  “Must we?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can we talk things over before we bring him in?”

  “Zafir, you know it is not the way we run the council. Let me tell my wife where I am going, and I will be right with you.”

  Abir ducked inside and reappeared in a moment. Although Abir was curious, he knew enough not to ask what was going on. They reached Mirza’s house. Zafir called his name and he appeared. Before he could ask questions Zafir said, “Can you come with us? We need to talk about Netti.”

  “Of course.”

  “We can pick up Abdu on the way.”

  Mirza did not feel it necessary to let his wife know he was leaving. They stopped by Netti’s house to collect Abdu and found him home.

  “We are going to discuss the outrageous incident in the square and Netti’s disappearance. Abdu, you are welcome to be present and contribute. Do you want to come?”

  “Damn right I do.”

  The foursome walked to Zafir’s house. They sat and Mirza wanted to know why they were there. “What is this about, Zafir?”

  “I assume everyone knows Netti is missing?”

  The three answered as one, “Yes.”

  “She tried to commit suicide yesterday,” Zafir announced.

  Abdu reacted in anger. “The stupid bitch. She brings more shame upon me.”

  Mirza had a quizzical look on his face. “Tried? If she is alive, where is she?”

  “She left with the Kahali.”

  “We have to get her and bring her back. I am going to beat her ass,” spewed Abdu.

  Mirza’s face showed immediate concern and he ignored Abdu. “This is not good. I am assuming she left willingly. How do you know all this?”

  “I was witness to her attempt. I was walking with the Kahali travelers to bury their dead…”

  Zafir was cut short by Mirza. “Bury their dead? Which one died?”

  “Both of the council warriors died from the beatings they received.”

  Mirza and Abir faces showed great concern.

  “This is not good,” announced Abir. “Please continue.”

  “We were making our way to the river to bury the warriors and we saw Netti dangling by her neck on a tree. We rushed to keep her from dying. I held her up, while Caleb cut her down. She did not die.”

  The other two councilmen showed concern upon hearing the news. Abdu’s face showed anger and humiliation.

  Zafir went on with his story. “Kaathi questioned me wanting to know what would become of her and I told her Netti would have to go back to Abdu. Kaathi realized it was a death sentence and indicated she would take her back to Kahali. Netti agreed to it, and I let her go.”

  “She is my wife,” yelled Abdu. “What authority do you have to let her go?”

  “It was clear she did not want to spend any more time with you, Abdu.”

  “I do not give a shit what she thinks nor you,” screamed Abdu.

  Zafir was fully irritated with Abdu and stared at the little man.

  “You should have tried to talk her out of going,” yelled Abir.

  “I thought she made a good decision,” countered Zafir.

  “You made an irrational decision,” observed Abir. “Yesterday Abdu was worried. Today he is mad, and I can understand why.”

  “You see,” Abdu pointed out. “Even your council thinks you are in error.”

  Zafir glared at Abdu. “The milk has been spilt on the ground, Abdu. She is well on her way to Kahali.”

  “I do not care. I can enlist a dozen men and go after her. She cannot run away from me.”

  “And how do you intend to take her away from the Kahali?”

  “I will kill them if need be.”

  “It is exactly what you will not do,” warned Zafir.

  “Do not tell me how to handle my affairs,” hissed Abdu. He stood, bent over and stuck his face into Zafir’s.

  Zafir shoved Abdu back onto his seat. He was visibly shaking in his anger. “Do not ever do that again. I have never struck anyone, but you are a breath away from driving me to do it.”

  Abdu was forty pounds lighter and a half head shorter than Zafir. He saw the fury in the councilman’s eyes and stayed seated despite Zafir being ten years his senior

  “In talking to the Kahali and Netti, my main concern was preventing their anger from escalating and wanting revenge for what you and your stupid friends did. If we allow you to do what you want to do, you will cause a war between them and us. It took all of my skills to keep them from declaring they were coming back to avenge the death of their two Warrior Hunters. Do you realize you and your friends killed two of the most important people in Kahali? Those two men sat on their council. I talked my ass off so they would not form an army and mount an attack on us.”

  Zafir pointed his finger angrily at the smaller man. “Here is what you are going to do Abdu. You will go home and tell your friends your wife has fled with
the Kahali, and it is for the best because you never cared much for her.”

  “I am not going to lie.”

  “You are going to lie until your face falls off. If you do not cooperate, I am going to make your life miserable and you will wish you were never born. Do you hear me?”

  Abdu glared at Zafir. He knew Zafir wielded power and had many loyal friends willing to make his life a living hell.

  “Am I making myself clear?”

  “Yes.”

  “Now get your ass out of here and make sure I do not here you are telling stories and causing trouble.”

  Abdu left without another word.

  Abir was the first to speak after Abdu left. He looked at the council head. “Where did all your anger come from?”

  Zafir thought about the question for a moment and answered, “Part of it was from Abdu’s stupidity and his lack of respect for me. His anger could jeopardize all of our lives and is unacceptable. The other part was from his lack of respect for his wife. He acted like a barbarian. He almost beat her to death and for what? I am sure she knew he was in the square, and she objected to the man talking to her. Having the mentality of a baboon, Abdu could care less. His macho, animalistic mentality nearly cost us our lives.”

  Zafir shook his head, “This madness has to cease. We have to separate ourselves from such barbaric thoughts and actions. What took place in the square has prompted me to reflect on our society.

  “As the head of this council I believe it is my responsibility to initiate change.”

  Mirza peered quizzically at him. “What are you getting at?”

  “I would like to talk to you of an idea I have concerning how we are interpreting our religion.”

  “Stop right there,” cautioned Mirza. “Any discussion about our religion must include the rest of our people. Many have led us in prayer, and their views are important. We have to include everyone.”

  “I would rather present my ideas to you, and if there is a degree of acceptance, we can go to our people.”

  Abir looked at Mirza and realized he was dealing with a Zafir he had never seen before. He shrugged. “What can we lose?”

  Abir sighed. “Very well.”

  “First, I think we have interpreted parts of the tablets erroneously and we need to reconsider the interpretation to make it more uniform for both men and women.”

  The “tablets” were a collection of thirty stone tablets written in cuneiform. They prescribed the way of life for their tribe and possibly all of humanity.

  “We need to reinterpret each tablet in terms of its value for the present day.”

  Mirza shook his head. “Where did you come up with such a crazy notion?”

  “After what I saw happen in the square and why it happened, I think we must look into the validity of our understanding of the words in the book.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? Because I had to pacify Caleb, otherwise he would have come back with an army to retaliate. If not for Kaathi’s help in turning his mind, we would be in deep trouble. Had Kaathi taken the opposite view, she could have enlisted King Edmund to amass an army to help them in their retaliation. Such an army could annihilate all of us. I am not ready to die. Are either of you?”

  Neither councilman spoke.

  “I thought so. We need to take steps to alter the mentality of our men.”

  “No, no, no,” warned Abir. “We cannot jump into this now. Things are too volatile right now. Perhaps in a year or two we can look into this.”

  Zafir shook his head. “How many more women need to suffer, and how many need to die of abuse or shame?”

  “We must proceed with caution.”

  “What? Abir, if your sister was one of those women being abused, how would you feel?”

  “My sister has a good man.”

  “One good man in how many dozens?”

  “From our point of view the Kahali were at fault,” observed Mirza.

  “Netti was trying to avoid the man according to her. Abdu should have come to the council and spoken to us before taking any action. Had he and his friends, none of this would have happened. We must install a law to prevent this from ever happening again. The men of Kahali were ignorant of our laws. We should have been more tolerant of their ignorance. We were not, and they are dead and she tried to take her own life because of all the shame and abuse she has had to suffer at the hands of her husband.

  “Now, you tell me, does it sound like we are a mentally sound society?”

  Abir was not about to answer the question criticizing his people, even if it was the truth. He saw how frustrated Zafir was and saw the only way to settle the argument was to take a vote to see if they should proceed with Zafir’s perceived problem.

  “I am willing to vote on whether we should go forward with what you see as a problem. While I am aware of the atrocious behavior of men, I am voting to do nothing. We need to approach this problem cautiously. What do you think about all of this, Mirza?”

  “I see it like you do, Abir. I vote to do nothing.”

  Zafir shook his head in disgust. “I am not letting go of this. I shall bring it up and hound you until you see the value in what I am telling you.”

  Abir and Mirza left.

  Zafir was thankful he did not get mad and offend his friends. He needed them for the reform he sought in the future. He would keep up his pursuit with the council and hope they would see the problems as he did. Until then he would have to rely on Ravi, Nena, Devra and Amir and himself to contact people to see if they were willing to become part of the group to improve the life of women in Nubilon. The process would be slow until more people got involved and the word would spread quicker. The time would eventually come when their numbers would be great enough and the council would not hesitate at reinterpreting the book for a clearer understanding of its meaning.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Netti and the Kahali travelers had left Nubilon nine days ago. Netti was testing her voice more and more the last four days. Up to this point, whenever she had to interact with anyone, she answered with an economy of words. She had been observing the Kahali closely hoping her initial judgement of them was correct. Of course it was not like she had several options in her home village to adjust to what happened. The more she was with her rescuers the more she knew she had made the right decision to leave. Surprisingly, she had come to like Caleb. His personality was steady and unshakable and he had come to the aid of his friends and had saved her life by cutting her down from the branch. He was a father figure and she felt safe in his presence. Ashlee was warm, considerate and beyond beautiful and surprisingly not filled with herself. She sensed Ashlee had suffered deeply in her life just as she had. She was certain, as certain can be, Kaathi’s life was an epic one, and she wanted to be made aware of it at some point. She adored Kaathi. There was a presence in her she had never felt and was left wanting to describe. It went way past the compassion the healer expressed. It was in the realm of love. Kaathi exuded it and it enveloped her and blessed her each time they were engaged. The moment Kaathi looked into her eyes, she felt there was a sacred part of herself she needed to discover.

  The group found a suitable spot to camp. Caleb and Ashlee were off hunting firewood and she was drawn to talk with the mystic.

  Netti was teary eyed as she softly asked in the common language, “Why did you bother to whisk me away from Nubilon?”

  Kaathi leaned forward to embrace her and share her love with the sorrowful woman. She released her and answered, “I saw no legitimate reason for you to stay. You did not love your husband nor he you. Had you stayed, he would have continued to make your life miserable. It is not a marriage; it is unjust imprisonment and likely a death sentence.”

  Netti shook her head. Tears cascaded down her checks. “You are right. Had I stayed, my life would have continued to be miserable. Hanging myself, I exposed myself to every wagging tongue and every malicious man in the village. You were correct saying I would not have laste
d long. I would have tried again and made sure I was successful the next time.

  “You have looked into my heart and seen my sorrow… Based upon what I saw in other marriages, I entered into marriage knowing it could be filled with misery and happiness. I had no idea it could be filled only with terror and horror. I did not realize there would be no happiness. My husband knows me only as someone who feeds him and gratifies his sexual pleasures. It did not take long for me to hate copulating.”

  Her voice filled with anger as she continued, “I felt insignificant living with him. I was nothing. I was lost… He never loved me. He never touched me compassionately or in love. He lusted after me. I loathed it when he touched me… If I resisted him, he beat me into submission. He showed me only anger. In return, I grew to hate him and everything he stood for and did. I was helpless. I could not turn to anyone for help… After years of such brutal treatment, I lost my hate and was left with depression. I was alone in a village of people.”

  She broke down and sobbed in her memories. Kaathi leaned over and embraced her again and held her until she stopped sobbing.

  “I am so, so sorry you had to experience such terrible anger and abuse. The good thing is you are now free from him and the past.”

  Netti shook her head savagely. “You are forgetting I am still married. Because I am separated from my husband does not mean we are not married.”

  Netti wiped her face with her hands as Kaathi asked, “Do you know of any marriages remotely filled with happiness?”

  Netti was not used to being questioned and this question caught her by surprise. She frowned and in time she answered, “I know of two reasonably good marriages.”

  “Why do you suspect there are so few?”

  She peered at Kaathi. “I suspect you know the reason and are asking me to see the wisdom in leaving my man.”

  Kaathi smiled.

  “I can only answer for myself. It is the total lack of respect I receive from my man.”

  “Respect covers a multitude of problems does it not?”

  “Indeed. He has no appreciation for anything I do. Because he does not appreciate me, it tells me he does not value me or consider me worth anything.”