Love's Joy

by Emil Toth

  Carver found Netti’s story fascinating. He knew the women in Homar were not treated well even before Edmund’s conversion. The men in Nubilon were barbaric compared to men in Homar. He was not sure whether he was emotionally or physically interested in her, all he knew was he wanted to get to know her better. He made a mental note to speak to her.

  The king stood and pulled Kaathi aside to chat. Caleb made his way over to Zach and Sharika. They seemed to be a couple and his curiosity got the best of him. “So, what has been going on with the two of you? Are you solving our villages’ problems?”

  “To tell you the truth, it has not come up in our conversations. We have found out a great deal about each other and we like what we have heard.”

  “It is always an encouraging way to start a friendship,” noted Caleb. “I truly could have used your strong body as an extra paddler, Sharika.”

  “It is good to hear someone misses and needs me.” She smiled. “You will have me on the way back.”

  Zach was surprised to hear her say she was going back. She had not indicated one way or the other until now. He had hoped she would stay. He needed to talk with her about her decision.

  On the other side of the room, Carver saw his opportunity and got to Netti before she made off with Ashlee.

  “Would you mind if we talked for a bit?”

  The chance to talk with men was rare for Netti. “I would welcome it.”

  They walked outside and sat under the shade of a giant yellow trunk acacia tree.

  “Why are your men so cruel to their women?” asked Carver.

  “They are following the precepts of our religion.”

  “Ah, if such is the case, we are fortunate we did not have any religion to guide us to such terrible behavior. Even so, there was a time we did not treat our women with respect. Some of us were worse than others and some are continuing to resist change. Edmund is trying to rectify it by presenting classes on responsible living. We call them Relationship Sessions. The classes help us understand how we should treat each other. It is mandatory for our children and voluntary for the adults.”

  “It sounds wonderful. Our people should have had something like it in place generations ago. It would have saved many women a great deal of trauma.”

  Carver had noticed she was buxom under her clothing, which covered three quarters of her arms and legs along with her torso.

  “Why do you wear all those clothes? I would think you would be too hot.”

  “I have shortened the length covering my arms and legs and I have abandoned my head cover.”

  “You have?

  “Our religion dictates what we wear, and we suffer the heat for our sins.

  “Sins? What are sins?”

  “It is something we are not supposed to do and we do it.”

  “Like talking to men?”

  “Yes. My husband went crazy when Pauli talked to me and set all this in motion.”

  “His loss our gain.” He realized how flippant it sounded. “I am sorry, I did not mean to minimize your suffering. Are there any women not following your religion?”

  Netti thought of Amira and her friends. She chose to say nothing about them. “None. If women do not follow, they are beaten.”

  “Beaten by whom?”

  “If she lived at home, by her father or brothers. If she was married, her husband would do it.”

  Carver had never beaten his wives or children and shook his head. “You have left your man, do you consider yourself wed?”

  “Kaathi and I talked about it, and she has convinced me I am a free woman. I like the sound of it.”

  “Would you consider staying on so we could get to know each other?”

  She looked a long while into his eyes. “I have just emerged from the fires of hell and I do not want to make another mistake. I thank you for your interest in me. It is flattering, and I have never been flattered since I was a girl. My husband flattered me, won me over and showed his true colors after we were married. He was a despot and an abuser. I shall not be easily deceived again. I am going home with Kaathi and see where my life goes with her. I like the idea of being free to do what I want and to choose the man I will be with.”

  “I am sorry you will not be staying. I wish you all the best in your life.”

  Netti thanked him and walked away to find Ashlee or Kaathi in the palace. Carver watched her and wondered whether he should pursue getting to know her better. Kaleez had seen them leave the room and had been watching them. The giant headed toward his friend and stopped in front of him.

  “What were you doing?”

  Carver dodged the question. “Chatting with her.”

  “Bullshit. What is going on between you two?”

  “I wanted to test the water to see where she stood on men.”

  “I thought so,” the giant said, approving of his instinct. “Why the hell would you do something so stupid?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do not play dumb with me. I know you all too well. She has immense breasts and you are drawn to them. You have got to realize she is coming out of a horrendous marriage and a terrible beating and she attempted suicide. I am sure she hated having intercourse with the jerk and it is what you are after. She does not know what she wants right now. She needs to adjust to life away from her husband and people. Let it rest.”

  Carver shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose you are right. She did say she liked the idea of being free from the tethers of her husband.” He paused, smiled and added, “You have to admit she is a looker and does have nice breasts.”

  Kaleez returned his smile. “Yes she does.”

  The next day the travelers were saying their goodbyes to the royal family in readiness for their trip to Kahali. Zach and Sharika slipped onto a veranda to be alone.

  “I do not want our time together to end, Sharika.”

  “Nor do I. It is sad our time has been cut short by the deaths of two good men.”

  “Will you consider staying?”

  “Under the circumstances, no. I need to support the others.”

  “I have grown fond of you, and I want our relationship to continue. Please reconsider,” pleaded Zach.

  “I know where you want our relationship to go. My time with you has been enjoyable.”

  Enjoyable was not what Zach wanted to hear from her.

  “I do not want to give you false hope. I met someone back in Kahali, and my heart is with him. I know it is not what you want to hear. I cannot lead you on. Being your princess and eventually your queen is tempting. I did not leave my home for temptation. I left it to find love and a father for my children. I am truly sorry it did not work out for us.”

  Zach sighed. “Not half as sorry as me.”

  She went to him and embraced him. “I do love you.”

  Zach interrupted her. “But I am not in love with you. Yes I know the phrase.”

  He held onto her a long time knowing full well what he was losing. He would feel the loss for a long time.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  The adventurer’s sudden departure from Homar allowed for little fanfare. The deaths of their friends contributed to the mood. They were on the river for the third day, stopped, made camp, eaten and were relaxing before they climbed the trees for the night. Ashlee had been struggling with what had taken place in her home village and could not hold her questions in any longer. She needed to discuss her troubles with Kaathi.

  “I know I keep asking question after question and here is yet another one. Why did you take me to Nubilon? The whole affair was horrific. Had I known, I never would have chosen to come.”

  “It is exactly why you needed to go.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You survived living with the mutants because you had a fantasy of what your life was like and would have been, had you not been abducted.”

  “Exactly, why steal it from me?”

  “You needed to see for yourself how submissive the women of Nubilon a
re and how tragically they live. You needed to face reality. You are no longer a slave and need to engage in reality all the time. It is by being in the present moment you can truly serve others and recommend changes. You are coming to grips with this system of duality, and you need to understand how to function within it parameters. Having succeeded, you can fashion a more productive and flexible reality to the demands placed upon you by everyone you serve.”

  Ashlee saw Kaathi’s wisdom. Still, it was difficult to have a dream she had nurtured for so many years dashed to pieces. She reviewed her life and Netti’s. Poor Netti’s mother died when she was five and could not recall experiencing love. Ashlee had the luxury of her mother until she was nine. Later she was fortunate to have been saved by the birth of Gwen. If Netti had a child to take care of, she might have been able to feel loved and given love. Perhaps she might not have tried to commit suicide. She would have had a reason to live. Ashlee nodded in recognition of how fortunate she was even in the face of mutants terrorizing her life.

  “As a slave I dreamed of my village often. In my Pollyanna personality, I felt sure my village was like Evette’s utopia. I remember my mother and father as loving parents. It was the way I recalled my uncle and aunt. I assumed everyone in Nubilon were like them.” Ashlee’s voice held a childish quality. “Was it wrong to wish for my people to be wonderful and kind? Did my memory fail me? Where did I go wrong?”

  “My sweet Ashlee, the environment among the slaves and the cruelty you were subjected to influenced your remembrance. You desperately wanted life to be as beautiful as your mental creation. As a child, you likely were not privy to the harsh reality of your community. You were a child and were not concerned with anything other than playing and learning. The adult religion, mores and ethics were not your concern. You likely would have become aware of them in a few years had you not been abducted. Dreaming of a wonderful, magical village you once lived in was your means of staying sane and keeping your hopes alive.

  “Memory can be a blessing and a curse. You embellished yours and there is nothing wrong with having done it. Some people remember regretful incidences by editing it to their advantage or magnifying it to blame others. Had you known the truth of what life was like in your village, it would not have given you the hope you needed to stay alive. After your escape, you needed to discover the women in Nubilon were not treated much better than those in the Wanderer village.

  “Now I would like to address your question of where did you go wrong. You did not go wrong. The world went wrong. Both villages lacked the essentials in decency toward women. Both knew nothing of justice or how desperately women needed to be recognized and respected for what they provided to the community and family. When a woman is held in poor regard and is seen as less than a man by her man, she loses self-esteem. She struggles and grasps for some way to garner self-worth. Most women fall into themselves and become ill-suited for life. Fortunate are those women whose character is strong and can withstand all the abuse thrown at them and know in their hearts they have worth and respect themselves. A splendid example of this was Batu. She benefited from her parents contributing to her character and was able to oppose the council and the High Priests and change things in Kahali.”

  Ashlee’s lips puckered. “Would she have been powerful in character had her parents not encouraged and respected her?”

  “It is hard to say for certain. Each of us brings to life certain gifts and challenges. If she had different parents, the path she would have traversed would have been greatly altered. Who she was and what she did, to attain greatness, was predicated on every person in her life and every situation she encountered. Take away one or more of them and she would have been a different person, possibly capable of accomplishing only some of what she did or none of it.”

  Ashlee had tears in her eyes. “The only thing I see going for my village is Uncle Ravi and his group. I hope you are right and see the future of Nubilon moving toward a more spiritual society.”

  “I could not be cruel and give you or them false hope. Life and societies are always in cycles of growing less warlike, wiser gentler and conversely slipping and growing harsher, inflexible and warlike. Society and villages react and go through cycles as does a pendulum. It swings full right and full left even for the most democratic society.”

  “Why?”

  “It happens to allow various situations and circumstances of this magnificent play of Creator’s to bring about the multitude of ways we can experience life and love. An uplifting tribe respects, appreciates and sustains self-reliance, independence, ethics, justice and equality. When the slide from its pinnacle begins, people become complacent, greed and entitlement sets in, people become lazy, ethics slip, prejudices appear and soon the democracy is shredded.

  “The moment we commit to involvement in physical duality, it guarantees we shall experience all points of the emotional and physical spectrum to the nth degree. Good and bad, love and fear, beauty and beast, health and illness and a host of others opposites shall complicate and enrich our lives.”

  “There must be a better way to learn how to love?”

  “If there is, I do not know it. It might help you to think of your lives as a progression in understanding the power of creative love.”

  “Do I progress from life to life?”

  “First your lives are not led linearly. They are all going on at the same moment. Often what you accomplish in one life affects another life. The same is held true for mistakes. All your lives are gloriously intertwined like a spider’s web, with you at the center.”

  Kaathi saw Ashlee’s eyebrow crinkle in thought and the mystic added, “Another way to look at is in relationship to your breath. If you breathe clean air, it helps maintain your body’s health. If you breathe in smoke or certain contaminants for too long, it affects your health and may cause death. The moment you notice your health diminishing, you can remove yourself from the harmful environment or habit and reclaim your health.”

  Ashlee spoke her mind. “Frankly, I do not understand this talk about living all those lives. I cannot remember any of them, consequently I find it hard to believe.”

  “I appreciate your hesitancy in acceptance. I know it is part of your belief system and the views I am expressing are part of my belief system. What I experience is my reality and it is the same for you. Somewhere yours and mine intertwine. The intertwining is the mystery of life, the mystery of existence. Part of the beauty of life is allowing the other person to entertain and have different beliefs.

  “In the case of the Wanderers and the Nubilons their beliefs can easily be seen hurting people. Based upon our beliefs we hold theirs as primitive and barbaric. All belief systems are evaluated in the same way. As we grow we see the childishness in one and the maturity in another and accordingly adjust our beliefs.”

  Ashlee looked at her mentor. In spite of what happened back in Nubilon, I like the way she explains herself. It is easy to see why so many call her a mystic.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  The villagers of Kahali gathered on the bank of the river to welcome the adventurers. The drums had already warned them Pauli and Sandor were not among the canoers. Questions were in everyone’s minds as they saw the dugout appear. In spite of the two apprentices being absent from the group, a thunderous welcome greeted them.

  The first line of welcome was the council. The next line was the families of the adventurers. Caleb went directly to Sandor and Pauli’s widows. He cupped his hand to their ears to be heard and asked them to come to his home to talk in private. Pauli’s widow gave her child to her mother. The child’s eyes followed his mother as she walked away. Jacob went with them to help keep inquisitive people from lingering too close to Caleb’s house.

  Before Caleb spoke, each woman knew what he was going to say. Tears were already forming in their eyes.

  “I am so very, very sorry to tell you your husbands were killed by the Nubilons.”

  The women sobbed and moaned. Their faces wer
e fraught with grief as their hearts were broken by the terrible news. Villagers passing near the Elder’s home heard the women cry out and interpreted it to mean they had lost their husbands. They whispered the news from person to person. Some made their way to tell friends and relatives of the news. The news spread like wildfire.

  Sandor’s widow was the first able to ask, “Why did they kill him?”

  “As you know we went there so Ashlee could see where she was born and find any living relatives. We knew little of the temperament of the people. From what we could piece together it appeared Pauli and Sandor wanted to get to know how women were treated and went alone into the village center. Pauli approached a married woman and attempted to talk with her, while Sandor spoke to a man about their customs. Pauli had no idea what he did was prohibited by law. The woman’s husband was with a group of his friends and saw him talking to her. In his rage the husband attacked his wife, while his friends attacked Pauli. Sandor ran to his aid and jumped into the melee. The fight drew another dozen or more men into the heated fray. Your husbands had no chance to protect themselves.

  “Zafir, the Chief Councilman of Nubilon and I heard the uproar. We rushed to the square and the moment we got close the mob screamed and heatedly told Zafir what happened. They wanted us out of their village. Zafir told me we had to be gone by the next day. We took your husbands to Ashlee’s uncle’s house. Kaathi said Pauli lost his life in the square. Sandor lost his later, as we were praying for his healing.

  “At sunrise the next day, we were going to set Sandor and Pauli’s bodies on the river, and Zafir showed up. He apologized for his people’s barbaric behavior and was extremely concerned the brutal act was going to cause a war.

  “We made our way to the river to set the bodies of our friends free and came upon Netti, the wife who was beaten by her husband, hanging on a branch. We cut her down and she survived her attempt at suicide. Kaathi talked her into coming with us. Zafir was there on the shore, when we bid farewell to your husbands. We agreed a war would cause more deaths and left.”