She heard Janice talking to someone, but she couldn’t seem to make her eyes move to see who it was.
Then someone gripped her chin and she was staring into eyes so blue that they almost made her want to feel things again. She looked away unwilling to feel anything anymore, ever again, but he pulled her close and all of her walls crumbled because she no longer needed them. She no longer needed to stand alone and be strong because Mike was there and he had her and nothing could hurt her when he had her.
He ran his hand along her spine and said words she couldn’t understand, but they seemed to take away the sting of pain that radiated from her heart. She wrapped her arms around him and cried so hard she thought her bones would turn to dust, but he held her together until she was too weak to hold on. Then he lifted her and carried her to her room where he just kept on holding her until the day grew older and she finally slept.
Thirteen
Marty stood alone in the cold rain as the drops ran over the fresh earth at her feet. The grass was trying to cover the mound but it hadn’t taken hold yet. It had only been a few weeks since Ace had died, but it felt like an eternity. He had been so strong and so full of life. How could this happen? She couldn’t seem to go a day without visiting this cold place of death. She couldn’t. For some reason her strength was tied to the man who lay under the ground at her feet and if she stayed away too long she would fly away like dandelion fluff on a spring breeze.
Everyone had come to the funeral and offered their sympathy. Mike had been there, but she had refused to allow him to comfort her. She knew it was unfair to him. She had been so unfair to him. She knew that there were a few of the brothers still standing guard over her, but there was no need for that. Dax was alive and he had already made it clear to her that he would get to her. She crumpled the card from the flowers that had been sent to her house the morning of the funeral. She had stuck it in her pocket to keep Janice from seeing it, but it wouldn’t have meant anything to Janice. It was just one word, remember and it had given Marty chills. She kept it with her so she never forgot. She kept it with her so she wouldn’t even be surprised. She would take the shock and fear from him.
She remembered Dax’s promise. She knew it was only a matter of time before he proved himself to her and she wouldn’t allow anyone to be hurt by it. This was her life now and she would face it. She would face him.
She felt the weight of the cold metal in her other pocket. Yes, she would face Dax. Shadow had come through for her with this little piece. He hadn’t tried to comfort her, she doubted he knew how, but he had helped her harden that ball of hate inside her until it was cold and hard. It no longer quivered like a skittish mare. Now it was determined and set on a single goal.
Shadow had talked to her about how to do it. Told her how she would feel, but Marty wondered if he had been wrong. She believed she would feel free, not burdened with guilt, but it was rumored that the man had killed too many men to count so she figured he might know. How did he live with all the guilt? How did he even function under all the weight of it? Then she remembered the woman with the big blue eyes and the way the dark, lost man looked at her. Lacey was what held Shadow together…
Marty shook that off. Her mind had drifted right to her own blue eyed safety net and she couldn’t let that happen. She just couldn’t. Marty looked down at the dirt at her feet.
“I still don’t know what to do Daddy.” Her heart broke all over again. She could almost hear him telling her to open her damned eyes and look. Telling her that she was being too damned stubborn… but he would have said it with that look in his eyes that she knew meant he loved her. She was all alone. She wouldn’t pull anyone into this mess, not until it was done and then maybe, but not yet. She needed to be alone. She needed to make sure no one else would be hurt when he came for her.
Janice had decided to go back to Georgia and run the diner, Marty hadn’t tried to dissuade her. Ace had left everything he owned to Marty so she stayed. Most nights she just fell into an exhausted sleep, but there were some night when her tears wouldn’t be held back. On those nights she found herself wrapped in familiar arms with familiar words whispered into her ear.
“I’ve got you.”
She always woke alone and tried to convince herself that it had been a dream. It was easier that way. She didn’t owe him anything that way. She knew he was near her even now as if her pain called to him. She wouldn’t acknowledge him because she didn’t know what to say. If she ever said anything she would let it all spill out and then he wouldn’t want to hold her together anymore. He wouldn’t want to be her safety net and she would truly be adrift and alone, but she owed him. Deep down she knew she owed him so much.
She hated the hurt look he wore when she wouldn’t talk to him. She hated the way she felt when he turned away from her, but she had to keep him away until this was done. Then maybe…
She hadn’t realized how close he was until her knees buckled. She never hit the ground. Mike wrapped her in his arms and Marty kept her eyes shut tight. If she opened them she would have to push him away, but if she kept them close she could be weak, she could just let him hold her.
“I know you’re awake Marty. I will play along with this little game if it makes you feel better, but I want you to know that I know. I’m not ashamed to hold you in the light of day and I hope there comes a day when you aren’t either.”
Marty felt her tears leaking from her eyes and she turned her head into Mike’s neck and held onto him.
He didn’t understand. If anyone knew then he would be in danger too.
“I’m so sorry Mike.”
“For what sweetheart?”
“Everything.”
“Everything isn’t your fault. At least half of it is mine so I think we should share the guilt and help each other through it. I have a lot to be sorry for too Marty. A hell of a lot.”
His arms tightened around her and she felt so small.
“You can tell me anything. I’ve got you.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. You won’t understand.”
He took a deep breath. “That’s a possibility. I don’t understand shit about women and you seem pretty damned womanly to me, but I tell you what. This can be like a… fuck I don’t know… sanctuary. I won’t judge you here. You say what you need to and get it off your chest. then we will just deal with it.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Tell me one thing and then another.”
They had reached his bike, but he only kept walking until he sat on a low marble bench.
“He sent a note the day of the funeral.”
“Ok. That’s one. What did it say?”
“Just ‘remember’ and I do Mike, I remember.”
Mike nodded. “Ok. That was one. Tell me one more and we can leave. Then maybe tell me two a day until you are all out of things to tell me and then we can just live.”
Marty nodded and opened her eyes. She looked deep into his clear blue eyes and said the words that she feared most.
“I’m going to kill him.”
Mike didn’t look shocked. He didn’t look like he was ashamed of her. He just nodded. “I don’t blame you. That was two.”
“I need to tell you one more if that’s ok.”
“Hey anything else is a bonus.” His eyes were so intense that she couldn’t look away. She studied them. There was no judgment there. No condemnation. It was now or never.
“I’m pregnant.”
Fourteen
Mike wasn’t sure what she had expected, but he was fairly certain it wasn’t what she got. He couldn’t help it. He let out a whoop even as tears soaked his face.
He grabbed her in a bear hug and buried his face in the crook of her neck.
“Thank you.”
Marty said nothing so he pulled back to look at her face. Her expression was comical.
“You aren’t mad?”
“Why the hell would I be mad?” He had no idea what she was thinki
ng.
“I was supposed to die. I never meant… this doesn’t mean… you don’t have to do anything… I mean I’m a marked woman…”
“Oh shut up Marty.” He kissed her until he couldn’t breathe. “We are all marked sweetheart. Shad’s family worst of all. I will keep you safe. That psychotic son of a bitch will never touch you.”
“You don’t have to say that. I know you never wanted to…this is my fault and I want him to get to me so I can kill him. You don’t have to feel obligated.”
“Never wanted to hurt you, yes, but I’ve wanted to be in your bed since that morning you tossed water on me and made a damned fool of me in the middle of the clubhouse. You’re not an obligation.”
“But you hated me.”
“No. I never hated you. I wanted you so bad, but I knew I couldn’t have you and it pissed me off. It pissed me off that all I needed was a sniff of your shampoo to get hard as a rock. It pissed me off that I couldn’t talk around you and that every time a brother looked at you I saw red. I hated not being in control, but I never hated you. I love you Marty. I’ve loved you all my damned life.”
“You barely know me.”
“I know. Makes no sense to me either. I want to know you. I want to know everything.”
“What if you don’t like me then?”
“I’m not worried. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen your worst.”
Marty snorted and rolled her eyes. It was the first show of spirit Mike had seen since the night she had demanded he take her. Some of her grief had melted away and she looked young again. She looked amazing.
“I’m pretty tired of sleeping outside too, just so you know. I think I have at least earned the couch.”
“Think again mister.” Marty stood and took a step away and even though he had heard the playful tone of her voice, Mike wasn’t ready to let her go yet. He stood and pulled her against his body and wrapped around her like the Kevlar vest Angel insisted he was.
“I love you Marty Cross and I’m never letting go of you again.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
That’s when he heard the shot and felt his body catch fire. He pulled Marty behind a heavy marble head stone and pulled his gun from his holster. He knew he was hit, but he had to stay awake until help came. He had to keep Marty safe. He looked down to find her huddled in a ball against the stone.
“Get my phone and call for help Marty.”
Her head snapped up and he saw fear bleed into anger. She wasn’t cowering. She reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He heard her talking, but concentrated on where he thought the bullet had come from. Marty hung up the phone and tore off her coat and the long sleeved shirt she wore over a t-shirt. She tried to get around to see where he was hurt, but Mike kept her on the ground.
“Let me help you damn it!”
“Don’t move Marty. Don’t give them a shot.”
He felt her arms go around him and it hurt like the devil when she found his wound, but she pressed her shirt against it.
“Who is coming Marty?”
“Law.”
“Good.” He was starting to feel dizzy and knew he wouldn’t last.
“Marty. I need you to come out here. I swear we won’t hurt you or that piece of shit with you, but I need to talk to you.”
Mike looked into Marty’s eyes and saw her indecision. This wasn’t Dax it was Harper and Marty wasn’t sure what to do.
Fifteen
Marty heard his voice and felt relief. She had been afraid that Dax would kill him. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to talk to him if just to make sure he was ok, but he had shot Mike…
“Why did you shoot at us if you only wanted to talk?” She called out.
She watched Mike closely. She could feel the blood oozing through her fingers and she knew he needed to be in a hospital. She wanted to give Law time to get there. He had said he was only a few minutes away. She slid her hand in her pocket and palmed the gun Shadow had given to her.
“I thought he was kidnapping you for Dax. He looks like a man who works for him. I thought I was protecting you.”
“Pretty sure you know I’d never kiss a slime ball that worked with your brother.”
“Come on Marty. They told me you spent time with the man. That you slept with him. It fit. Come on, I just want to talk to you.” Harper sounded so sincere.
Marty caught movement from the corner of her eye and hoped it was Law, but she recognized the bald head that ducked behind a headstone not far from them.
“Mike,” she whispered, “There are more.”
“I know sweetheart. I know.” He was so pale and sweat had slicked his face. She saw another flash of Dax’s head and aimed. She knew she would only have one shot and she took it. She had no idea if she had hit her mark or not, but she didn’t see him again.
“What the hell are you firing at? It’s just me Marty. For shit’s sake come out here and talk to me.”
Harper sounded on sincere that if Marty hadn’t seen Dax she might have believed him. There was something else though. Harper didn’t sound afraid, he sounded pissed.
Mike collapsed on top of her and Marty wrapped around him. She pressed her hand against his back harder, but knew it did very little to staunch the flow of blood.
“I’ve got you.” She said as she felt him slipping away from her.
Sixteen
Marty paced the waiting room. She was still covered in blood and she shivered uncontrollably, but nothing could comfort her.
She had heard one of the brothers say that Dax was dead, but she couldn’t think about killing the man right now. All she could think about was Mike and how he had stopped another bullet to save a life, maybe two. She reached down and pressed her hand against her belly. He had to be ok.
“He’s going to be alright Marty.”
He heard the words, but didn’t look up to see who spoke them. Firm hands gripped her arms and she was turned until she stared at a black t-shirt clad chest. She looked up into eyes almost as blue as Mike’s. Spec stared down at her and for the first time since she had been taken he looked normal.
“Are you back then?” She asked. “Are you really back?”
“I’m back.”
“Are you alright?” Marty heard her teeth chattering and wanted to laugh. She was worried about Spec when she was obviously going into shock.
He tilted his head and studied her in the way that made everyone want to squirm, but Marty had no more secrets so she let him look. He shrugged.
“Did you tell him?”
Marty knew Spec meant about the baby. Somehow he knew. She had stopped questioning him about how he knew things before she had been taken. She just accepted that he knew things.
“Just before…” She trailed off and looked toward where they had taken Mike.
“Was he as thrilled as I expect he was?”
Marty smiled and nodded.
“Then he will be just fine.”
Spec wore a half grin that made Marty wonder what was going on in his head. Then he kissed her head and turned away as if that was all settled. For some reason it made her feel better too.
She looked up to find black eyes on her. Shadow stood in the doorway and looked out of place in the sterile waiting room. He was dressed all in black from his black leather boots to his black leather jacket. Shadow hated being cold, he was obsessive about it and she had heard him say that his kids would never be cold. She wondered about that. The man himself seemed so cold and lifeless. It seemed that he would like it, but she had seen his reaction when one of the brothers had let Megan take off her gloves to play in the snow. Marty had seen the sheer fury in Shadow’s eyes and she had feared that he would actually kill the brother until Megan had giggled and placed her little cold hands to her daddy’s face. Shadow had looked like it hurt him until the little girl had leaned in and kissed him.
“I’m ok daddy. I’m warm all over, but my hands.” She had laid her little dark head aga
inst his chest and let him hold her until the fear ebbed from his eyes.
Marty looked down to find a blanked clutched in his hands now and for some reason that gesture unleashed her tears. It simply showed he cared. She wasn’t alone. She looked around the waiting room at all of these tough men who looked so uncomfortable and felt something inside her settle. She wasn’t alone. She found sympathy in every face as they looked at her.
She walked to Shadow.
“It’s done.”
He nodded. He understood and that was all that needed to be said. He had been told to kill Dax the night he’d helped rescue her, but he hadn’t. He had left that to her. He had trusted her to have the strength to do what had to be done.
In that moment she wasn’t just Ace’s kid. She was a Defender by blood and she had taken care of business like one. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it made her a horrible person, but sometimes you had to step into the dark to make sure there was light for others.
She wondered if the women would hear that the monster was dead and she hoped they would feel the same freedom that she did.
The blanket settled around her shoulders and Shadow shrugged. “Hate the fucking cold.”
Marty smiled. “Thank you.”
He looked highly uncomfortable so when Mrs tried again to pull her into the bathroom she let her.
“We need to get you cleaned up honey.”
“I’m not leaving.”
Mrs actually rolled her eyes. “Hon I didn’t expect you would. Lizzie scored you some scrubs. You can go right in that bathroom and scrub up a little. Then just put these on and you will feel better.”
MIKE: Defenders MC Page 7