Mr Chambers

by Tammy Bench

  Green Card was Tom’s first thought and he hated himself for it. Of all the judgements that Neil could have made of him over the years, that just wasn’t fair.

  ‘Congratulations?’ he asked carefully.

  ‘I think so,’ Neil replied motioning to the armchair in the corner of the room.

  ‘Tell me about it?’ Tom sat.

  ‘We met last year as I said. I’d taken that month off to clear my head of work if you remember? She was working in a bar at night and studying in the day to become a nurse. I stumbled in there one evening about half way through the holiday. I was floored by her appearance and she was really sweet too. We talked all night in the little beachside bar, until I was kicked out by the owner just before dawn. Her English wasn’t bad and even when she didn’t understand me it was fun laughing at each other trying to make sense. I went back the following night and the same happened. For five days I kept going back and then I asked her out,’ Neil opened the drawer next to his right hand and pulled out a picture of them both and handed it to Tom, ‘that was taken on my last night in Thailand.’

  The photo was taken on a beach with the crystal blue sea behind them. They both wore shorts and t-shirts and Neil looked about ten years younger than he normally did.

  Jatu was a stunning girl and they both stared at each other smiling broadly. Happy, came into Toms mind, they looked really happy.

  ‘Wow you know how to keep a secret,’ Tom looked up from the picture.

  ‘It wasn’t on purpose, mate. I just wanted to see how things would go when I was back home. I would have told you.’

  ‘Well, obviously things are going well?’ Tom smiled and handed it back.

  ‘We chat all the time, I miss her and she misses me. She’s happy to come over here to live, so I’m going to marry her,’ Neil shrugged.

  Tom wasn’t about to ask him if he was serious or if he thought that was a good idea or not. He knew Neil and he knew he wouldn’t have made this decision lightly. He would have gone through all the implications ten times over and if, having arrived at this point – he was definitely sure.

  ‘When do I get to meet her?’

  ‘Her course finishes in three months. She’s flying over straight after her exams.’

  ‘I’m not making a judgment here, so don’t get moody, but you know the lads are going to say that you’ve ordered a Thai bride off the internet don’t you?’ Tom again held back his laughter.

  ‘Why do you think I haven’t fucking told anyone? I know I’ll be the butt of jokes for years over this,’ he laughed too.

  ‘At least I’m not the only one chasing younger women now.’

  ‘She’s twenty-seven – younger than Alice! If you want me to fix you up I know she has loads of really pretty friends that you could have your pick of? They are really sweet natured and boy can they cook. Bring one over and Bobs your uncle.’

  Tom smiled, his friend was so old fashioned when it came to women, all he really wanted was a pretty wife that could cook and clean, keep him happy in the bedroom and not challenge him too much. If that’s all he needed in a life partner then good luck to him, he really hoped she would work out to be everything he desired.

  ‘Thanks man but I told you yesterday Alice and I we’re really good, we’re together,’ Tom pulled the phone out of his pocket and checked for messages. No reply yet.

  ‘I still can’t believe you managed it. In less than a week you’ve convinced her to leave her husband?’

  ‘Am I really going home with her do you think?’

  ‘I think you are. But be careful her husband looked like a big fella.’

  Tom swatted away the comment with his hand.

  ‘How weird the next time you’re over here it will be as a couple… no actually a family with your kids too, at my wedding – freaky!’

  ‘I still can’t get my head round you in a morning suit. You’re actually going to pay out for a wedding? Mr Tight is going to open his wallet?’ Tom pushed his shoulder lightly as he stood.

  ‘Anything she wants, Tom,’ he replied.

  ‘I’m rubbing off on you, I’m impressed.’

  ‘Go on now, get out. I have work to do,’ Neil pointed towards the door.

  ‘Is that what you call it?’ Tom added.

  Neil grinned, ‘the same kind of work you were doing when you were teaching Alice, mate.’

  ‘I text her ten minutes ago and she’s not replied yet. Do you think she’s alright?’ Tom asked changing the subject.

  ‘OUT!’ Neil shouted, ‘and stop being such a girl!’

  MISSED CALL

  Thursday 5th August

  She had to call him. He had sent her four messages that afternoon, each one becoming more frantic than the last. She grabbed her phone, run up the stairs into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She re-read his last message sent ten minutes ago before she deleted it.

  7.20pm

  Alice please reply to me right now if you’re okay? If he has fucking touched you – I’ll kill him. If he has your phone now and is reading this – I will kick the fucking living daylights out of you if you have raised a hand to her. I am coming to get you in thirty minutes unless I hear from you, baby. And again, if this is her husband, I’d probably call the police for when I get there, as you’re going to need them.

  She had rushed her dinner in a bid to escape the table before his thirty-minute deadline and call him off. She had ignored his texts all day because she just needed some time to decide what she would say to him and if she had called him right away she would be seduced once again into doing it all his way.

  She was going to ask for two weeks, to get back home, finish her marriage in private and make the arrangements for Hayley and herself to leave. If he couldn’t wait for her then she would walk away from him. He had to bend somewhere and understand what a big deal this really was for her family.

  ‘Alice?’ his voice was angry.

  ‘It’s me – I’m fine.’

  ‘What the fuck has happened?’ he growled down the phone.

  Alice took a deep breath.

  ‘I have to be quick, I’m in the bathroom. Sorry I didn’t text back I have had so much to think about and I needed to do it with a clear head,’ she started.

  ‘You’re staying with him?’ his voice changed suddenly and she wanted to run to him and hold him tight.

  ‘No. I need more time Tom I have to go home and do this, I can’t do this in front of my parents – it’s just not fair on him. I need about two weeks to get everything in order,’ she pleaded.

  Silence.

  ‘Tom?’ she whispered.

  ‘I’m here. Okay I’ll wait baby,’ Alice closed her eyes in relief, ‘I know it’s hard. I know what I said yesterday about not waiting, but that was before we had promised each other, before you made your decision.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Please don’t thank me… you never have to thank me. But don’t ignore me again, I’ve been like a caged lion this afternoon – I even punched a hole in the bedroom door, Neil hasn’t seen it yet thank heavens,’ she could hear the smile through his words.

  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d be going that crazy?’

  ‘Alice, I was imagining all sorts. Him beating you, calling you all the names under the sun…’ his voice turned dark, ‘I was ready to kill somebody.’

  ‘He wouldn’t do that I already told you.’

  ‘You have no idea what men are capable of when cornered or wronged. I hope you never have to find out.’

  She sighed, ‘you’d never hurt me.’

  ‘I’m glad that wasn’t a question,’ he said, ‘do I get to see you before Saturday?’

  ‘I could try and get out tomorrow night for a while maybe? Meet you on the old road we used to meet? About 8pm? I’ll text if I can’t make it for any reason, okay?’ she would do her very best.

  ‘Okay. That’s good I’ll be there.’

  ‘You sound so much more Irish on the phone, I’d forgotten th
at,’ she whispered.

  He laughed, ‘I’ll wait to hear from you then – I love you,’ his rich tones kissed her ear and she trembled like he was in the very room with her.

  ‘Me too,’ she replied.

  ‘Before you go I’ve got to say one thing. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you when we were together, when I was your teacher. I’m so sorry that it’s taken this long to right that mistake. I will spend the rest of my life making up for the years that I robbed us of, I promise you that. You will never have to go to sleep or wake up wondering if you are loved. You might not want to be on a pedestal, but you are and it’s where I want you.’

  She closed her eyes.

  ‘Tom…’ she breathed.

  ‘What’s the chance of me driving over there now and you letting me take you away?’ he asked, making her laugh lightly. ‘I’m serious Alice, I need you.’

  ‘No sex-talk,’ she scolded him.

  ‘I’m thinking about your mouth on me…’ he smiled.

  ‘Cold shower?’ she suggested.

  ‘I’m supposed to be going out tonight with some of the gang – I think I need one.’

  ‘Not in that state I hope? I don’t want any women around you when you’re turned on – I know what you’re like,’ she joked but was actually quite serious.

  ‘Just say something to keep me going till tomorrow then?’ he joked.

  Alice bit her lip, he still made her feel like a nervous girl, ‘the feeling I get just before you push inside of me is one of the most confusing things. It’s far beyond desire and lust. I know how it’s going to feel, I know that it’s going to blow my mind. It’s scary that I can feel so high on the memory of the last time and anticipating the next time. It’s one of my most favourite emotions.’

  ‘I love it when you cry.’

  ‘I don’t cry.’

  ‘Yes you do baby, sometimes you cry when we’re making love, don’t deny it,’ he was teasing her.

  Alice blushed and was glad he couldn’t see her, ‘It’s intense,’ she whispered.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ she said.

  ‘Okay,’ Tom sighed.

  Alice looked around the small room then met her own gaze in the bathroom mirror.

  ‘Don’t forget you’re mine,’ she reminded him.

  ‘God, I love you,’ he said and hung up.

  Alice stripped the clothes from her body quickly and jumped under the warm spray. She wasn’t going to have a shower, but now needed to cover the conversation they had just had.

  She felt so scared, more scared than she had ever felt. She was going to leave her husband within a week of being back here because she had rediscovered the love of her life. In many ways she was wrong and very much the bad guy in all of this, but she was also refusing to live a lie. She wasn’t going to waste anymore of Stuart’s life by stringing him along.

  But she did love him and she really loved the family that the three of them made – was she just being really selfish? Was it fair to Hayley if she stayed? Setting the example of, ‘it’s better if you never follow your dreams because the price of dreaming is far too great.’

  She washed her body with the fluffy shower mitt thing and closed her eyes as the water rinsed away the glorious smelling suds.

  If she didn’t leave him she would live the rest of her life with regret, wouldn’t she? She would always look at her husband as the person that stopped her having the only thing she ever truly desired.

  She towelled off and opened the bathroom door.

  ‘Shit, Stuart you scared me!’ he was sitting on the top step of the stairs. His eyes followed as she stepped out of the room and started the few paces to their bedroom. He got up and walked behind her into the room, closing the door behind them.

  ‘It’s a little early to be going to bed, honey?’ Alice said aloud grabbing some pyjamas from their suitcase.

  ‘I wasn’t thinking of going to bed yet,’ he reached out and pulled her waist towards him and she stumbled backwards, ‘we haven’t had any us time all week… this is why I hate coming here. You’re always busy and your family’s always around,’ he laughed against her back, but his warm breath on her skin felt like the biggest betrayal.

  ‘I know Stuart,’ she replied screwing up her eyes to push down any strange reaction, ‘but Hayley’s downstairs and we really need to get her to bed soon,’ without turning to face him she continued, ‘we’re only here a few more days, I’m sure you can live without it for a little longer.’

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he spun her round to face him sharply.

  She swallowed hard but looked him in the eye, ‘what do you mean? Nothing’s the bloody matter,’ she snapped.

  ‘You’ve been avoiding me all week. Don’t think I haven’t noticed it. So what’s going on?’

  She watched his mouth move. She had seen him angry a few times in their marriage but it wasn’t really his style, he would rather just give each other space if there was an issue, knowing it would sort itself out in the end. But right now he looked confused and sad – he was asking her why she had forgotten about him? Standing in front of him with it on the tip of her tongue, she couldn’t do it, not like this with her back against the wall.

  ‘Stuart, don’t be silly nothing’s going on,’ she moved her hand to his hair, but he pulled away.

  ‘Saturday you go to that party at the school, the minute we leave you start acting weird. You were strange in the car and the next morning and then stay out till all hours the night after that. You haven’t kissed me all week, touched or anything. I’ve made moves and it’s like you haven’t even noticed them. So I’ll ask again what the fuck has happened?’ he didn’t shout the words but they were definitely stronger than she had ever heard from him in the past.

  How could she have been so dumb as to think he wouldn’t have noticed anything? She spent all day everyday with this man of course he’s going to know if his wife is acting out of character, just as she would if it were him.

  ‘Stuart, please don’t be like this here, I don’t want to argue with you in front of my parents. I don’t believe I’m acting any differently. If I was strange on Saturday, it was because I had just seen all my old school friends and it reminded me of how old we had all got and how quickly time passes. I was feeling nostalgic that’s all.’

  What?! Oh please…

  ‘Were you thinking about him? Being back in the school where he abused you?’

  The age old comment that never failed to rile her.

  ‘He didn’t fucking abuse me!’ she nearly shouted.

  ‘What did you just say?’ he looked shocked.

  ‘You heard me,’ she said pulling on her vest top and raking a comb though her hair.

  ‘Was he there?’

  She stopped, her skin went cold and she had to decide right now whether she was going to tell him.

  ‘No,’ she sighed, ‘he wasn’t.’

  ‘But you wanted him to be, didn’t you?’ he stared at her hard, ready to read any lie she attempted to tell him.

  She stared back at him unmoving.

  ‘I guess so…’

  What?

  ‘Why Alice, why?’ he shook his head and then grabbed her arms, ‘what is the matter with you, have you lost your mind?’

  ‘Stop it,’ she pulled away from him, ‘I don’t know why? I just wanted to see him that’s all.’

  Stuart slumped onto the edge of the bed, ‘I knew going to this reunion would be trouble. Is this why you’ve been distant? Because of that bastard?’

  ‘I still don’t think I have. But if you feel it then, yes, he’s been on my mind a bit.’

  Why couldn’t she do it? Why couldn’t she just use this moment to be honest with him? Looking at the man she had spent over ten years with so upset and knowing she had caused it, didn’t feel good. She thought about Hayley, and how not having this man with her everyday would make her feel?

  ‘He was your first love you told me once?’ he asked.
<
br />   ‘He was.’

  ‘That’s hard to compete with, even as just a memory,’ he looked at her and he had tears in his eyes.

  ‘Stuart, please. I don’t know what to tell you?’

  The truth?

  ‘Have you tried to contact him over the years?’

  ‘Not once.’

  ‘Do you still love him?’ he grabbed her hand.

  Alice took a deep breath at last a question she could answer honestly, ‘I think I always will, but I do love you.’

  Stuart nodded like he already knew the answer. Maybe he had always known part of her still loved Tom?

  ‘We need to go home. We need to get away from this house, this town. Go home where it’s just you, me and Hayley. Where no part of him belongs and his ghost can’t follow us anymore. I’d say we should leave in the morning but your dads planned a barbeque for tomorrow night. So we’ll leave first thing on Saturday?’

  ‘I guess we probably should,’ she sniffed lightly and wiped her eyes.

  ‘I don’t blame you, Alice,’ he pulled her to sit next to him on the bed, ‘I know you don’t think there was anything sinister about your fling with him, but I do. You can defend him till you’re blue in the face, but he did take advantage of you. He was your teacher and every time…’ his face turned distasteful, ‘you and he had sex that was abuse of position and morally wrong. Have you ever thought of it like this, he was the age I am now, how would you feel about me if you found out I was sleeping with a girl who had just turned seventeen? Even worse than that say it was someone that I was teaching?’

  She thought about it for a moment and in truth she would be disgusted by him doing something like that. So how was it so different for Tom? It shouldn’t be, but it was.

  ‘I know what you’re saying, I really do. I would doubt every bit of your character if you did that.’

  ‘See? And put it this way, say Hayley’s doing her A-levels and a teacher tries it on with her and he’s handsome and charming and she sleeps with him – worse, gives him her virginity?’

  ‘He didn’t try it on with me… I’ve told you before I confronted him,’ she corrected his story indignantly, ‘and Hayley will make her own decisions. Would I be happy if she had a relationship with a teacher? No way – and yes I know that sounds hypocritical.’