He Looked Back

by Hollandaise, Melissa

  I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his chest. He responds immediately, strong arms pulling me as close as can be. I hear his heart beating in his chest and I’m so glad that it is. His chin rests on the top of my head and I shut my eyes, the soft white fabric of his shirt against my cheek.

  “I missed your birthday,” I say into his shirt. “I thought about it, on February first, I knew it was your birthday and it hit me hard. I thought about how we would have gone out to dinner or something, and I would have tried to make a cake but it would have seemed like shit next to yours. And I would have gotten you some silly gift that you secretly loved, like how you got me pens. And I would have put twenty five candles in the cake, just to make you feel old and I’d tease you how you were five years away from thirty and you’d tease me back saying I was six years away from thirty and we’d end up laughing at each other all over again.” I take a shaky breath.

  Dylan's fingers run gently through my hair.

  “I missed Christmas with you,” Dylan says quietly. “And New Year’s. I thought about how I would have gone to London with you to meet your family, and you’d drag me all around the city like we were a couple of tourists. There’d have been snow and I would have complained, and you would have said something sassy back to me. And Valentine’s Day. I would have taken you to the zoo again or something dumb like that, I don’t know. I’ve always been shit at romance.”“You’re not shit at romance,” I scoff, still leaning against his chest. “You’re the best at romance. I’m shit at romance.”

  “Maybe we’re just both shit at romance.”

  “Probably.”

  I feel Dylan chuckle lightly, his deep laugh vibrating through his chest.

  “And you know what,” Dylan says. “My birthday wasn’t even that great, anyway.”

  “I’m sure it was. I bet Leah did something.”

  “She did, but it wasn’t half of what you would have done.”

  “Please. You did all this caring stuff for my birthday, and I thought you were dead on yours.”

  “There’s always next year.”

  “But we’ll never get this year back.”

  Dylan pulls away from me, looking down into my eyes. “I think that’s just something you and I will have to get used to, Katherine.”

  Chapter Seventy Seven

  I stare at the photobooth wall, trying to sort out my thoughts.

  We haven’t spoken for a few moments, it’s just been silent. He’s right, though. Dylan and I are just going to have to get used to the fact that we will never get the fives months we were apart back, no matter what we say or do.

  My thigh touches Dylan’s, my hands folded in my lap. Dylan rests his elbows on his knees, chewing on his lip.

  I feel like this entire day has been surreal, like any moment I’ll wake up drenched in sweat, the spot next to me in bed empty. But it’s no dream, it’s reality. As unbelievable as it is, this is no dream.

  “So...” Dylan breaks the silence, looking over at me with the traces of a smile on his face. “Since we’re in a photobooth, want to take any pictures?”For some reason, I find his question the funniest thing I’ve ever heard, and burst out laughing. He laughs with me, his eyes squinting up and his dimples showing. God, how I’ve missed his laugh.

  “Are you insane?” I finally ask him. “I’ve been crying, of course not. I probably look like a sad clown.”“Psh, don’t tell me you’re going to skip the opportunity to get some photos in a small compact space where the breathing air is limited with the guy you previously thought was dead.”I shake my head, still laughing. “I bet my makeup’s all over the place.”Dylan tilts his head to the side. He reaches up and wipes just under my eye, his face mere inches from mine. “There,” he says. “Beautiful.”I blush and look away, still smiling.

  “Now you have no excuse. Plus, it’s a high-def camera.” Dylan grins mischievously.

  “How the hell do you know what type of camera it is?”

  “Just humor me and pretend like I do, Katherine.” Dylan leans forward to press a button on the screen, and I laugh.

  “Hmm,” Dylan muses as he taps through the settings on the screen. “What effect do we want? Color? Black and white? Sepia?”“Does it matter?”

  “Yes, yes it does. Never mind, I guess we’ll just take pictures with each effect to balance it out.”I groan humorously and Dylan smirks at me, still going through the settings.

  “Oooh, how about Western themed?” Dylan points to the screen.

  “Or underwater?” I propose, nodding to the theme next to Western.

  “Western eats underwater for breakfast.”

  “Hey, now. Underwater’s pretty cool.”

  “Yeah, if you’re a fish.”

  I nudge Dylan’s knee with mine, laughing. “Just pick one, you idiot!”Dylan laughs and finally chooses one, and I lean forward to see what it is.

  “Color?” I ask. “After all of that, you choose regular color?”

  “Come on, I haven’t annoyed you in months. Now, it’s counting down!”“Wait, where’s the camera?”

  “Straight ahead, ding dong.”

  Dylan and I take tons of pictures.

  I’m pretty sure we make just about every facial expression known to man, in just about every theme the photobooth has. In half of them, I’m just laughing at whatever face Dylan makes, and in some, we’re just laughing at each other.

  In the time we spend in the photobooth, I’ve come to see that humor and teasing each other is how Dylan and I deal with things. Now, at least. Things are so different between us at this time, but as I look over at Dylan, who is crossing his eyes for the camera, I feel almost like I did in the time before the party. Happy.

  “Quit staring at me and cross your eyes for the camera, Katherine.”

  I blush and laugh, leaning on Dylan’s shoulder and crossing my eyes, sticking out my tongue. The camera clicks and Dylan and I laugh as he leans forward to choose another theme.

  “Alright, now, for the underwater theme, we have to make fish faces. ’Cause, you know, it’s underwater and all.”“I thought Western eats underwater for breakfast.”

  “We’ve already done Western twice, in case you’ve forgotten.”

  I wrinkle my nose at him and he smirks.

  We hear a click and Dylan curses.

  “Damn it, we missed it!”

  “Chill out, there’s still three more pictures in the str—”

  Another click sounds and we both sigh in defeat. I break into giggles as Dylan lifts his middle finger to the camera.

  “We can just do underwater agai—” I start.

  “Nope, we’ve got to move on.” Dylan smirks at me.

  “Move on? What are you talking about?”

  “This wedding ends at ten and we’ve still got twenty themes to get through, we’ve got to burn rubber.”“You’re joking!”

  Dylan and I laugh just as the curtain is pulled back, and we look over to see Ed and Ethan standing outside the photobooth.

  “Quit hogging the booth!” Ethan says.

  “Yeah, go suck face somewhere else,” Ed adds.

  “Hey, at least we’ve got a face to suck,” Dylan retorts and I blush furiously.

  “We weren’t sucking face,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  “I’m not denying anything,” Dylan says slyly and I smack him on the arm.

  “We weren’t sucking face,” I repeat.

  “Who cares, just give us a turn!” Ethan whines.

  “Yeah, I hear there’s an underwater theme,” Ed says.

  “Underwater? Underwater, you say?” I raise my eyebrows at Dylan who smiles and rolls his eyes.

  “Get your British ass out,” Ethan says to Dylan and Dylan gives him the finger before stepping out of the booth. I get out after him, smoothing out my dress as I stand, laughing at all of them.

  Ed and Ethan pile into the booth, intoxicated laughs erupting from them.

  “Guys! Wait for me!”

>   William sets his drink down on a nearby table before practically taking a running leap into the photobooth.

  Pained noises are heard from inside after he lands.

  “Christ, your elbow got my eye!” Ethan shouts.

  “Forget the eye, his other elbow got my groin,” Ed says, his tone strained.

  "Take it like men, you wimps," William says.

  I look over at Dylan, who’s shaking his head and laughing.

  “And that, children, is why you don’t do drugs,” Dylan says and I laugh all over again.

  “Ay, we’re not on drugs!” Ethan shouts from inside the booth.

  “Sure thing, Blondie,” Dylan retorts.

  “Told you to stop calling me that!”

  I’m still laughing as I catch sight of the pile of picture strips on the ground. I bend down to retrieve them, smiling.

  “Look at us,” Dylan hums, standing beside me to look at the photos. He points to one of the Western themed ones. “We could pass for true cowboys.”I snort, shuffling through the multiple strips to look at all of them.

  I stop at one where we’re both laughing.

  We’re looking at each other, me leaning on his shoulder slightly. He’s looking down at me, his dimples prominent and his smile large. I’m looking back up at him, my smile wide and my mouth slightly open in the midst of my laugh. The four photos in the strip are all of us in various stages of cracking up at each other, and it looks so beautiful. The photos are in black and white, and it’s such a perfectly captured moment that I almost want to cry.

  “Now this one,” Dylan says, his fingers brushing the underside of the photo. “This one’s my favorite.”“Mine too,” I agree.

  “Well,” he says, meeting my eyes. “We’ve always shared a lot of favorites.”I break into a smile, looking back down at the picture.

  “Katie!”

  I look up to see Leah and Courtney walking towards us, wide smiles on their faces.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” Courtney asks, raising her eyebrows teasingly and nodding to Dylan.

  I blush, handing Dylan the pile of photos, who puts them into his pocket.

  “Oh. Dylan, this is my sister Courtney, and...” I sigh at Courtney’s teasing expression. “Courtney, this is Dylan.”Dylan extends his hand for Courtney to shake and she does so, still smirking.

  “I’ve heard much about you,” Dylan says to her.

  “Oh, and I’ve heard a shit load about you,” Courtney says.

  I blush bright red and glare at her. She smiles innocently back at me.

  “Anyways, I came over to tell Dylan we’d better get going if he wants to make his flight,” Leah speaks up.

  “Flight?” I ask, looking back at Dylan.

  “I’m flying back to Edinburgh tonight,” he says. “Flight leaves at ten thirty.”“Why not just leave tomorrow?” I ask, my heart rate accelerating.

  “There was a direct flight home tonight, so I just figured I’d take that one instead of making multiple connections tomorrow.” He shrugs.

  “What about you, Leah?”

  “I’m visiting some friends in Long Island until Wednesday,” she says.

  I look from Dylan to Leah, a lump forming in my throat. How could Dylan leave so early?

  “You alright, Katherine?” Dylan asks me, concern lacing his features.

  “Can I speak to you, please?” I ask him. “Alone?”

  He nods, his brow furrowed as he leads me by the elbow out of the tent and out into the park.

  “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He asks me.

  “Why are you leaving so early?”

  He steps back slightly, tilting his head to the side. “It’s just more convenient.”“But...”

  “What is it?”

  “You...you just got here and now you’re leaving?”

  “I didn’t think you’d want me to stay.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know...” He looks away and I see that he most certainly does know.

  “Why not?” I repeat, more firmly.

  “If you want the truth...” He sighs. “After all this, I didn’t know for certain if you still loved me or not.”I step back, completely shocked. “Are you—”

  “Dylan!”

  Leah pops her head out of the tent. “We’ve really got to go!”

  “I know, Leah. I’m coming.”

  Dylan looks back at me. “Sorry, she’s a nag.”

  I shake my head. “So you’re just going, then?”

  “You...you could always come back with me, you know?” He scratches the back of his neck nervously, looking down at me.

  I chew on my lip. “I don’t think so, Dylan. It’s such short notice, and I don’t even have a plane ticket.”Dylan reaches into the pocket of his trousers, taking something out. “I had a feeling this would happen.”My jaw drops as he holds a plane ticket out to me. I take it from him, seeing that my name is typed neatly onto it.

  “You got me a plane ticket?” I ask in disbelief.

  “You don’t have to use it, it’s refundable, so...”

  “That’s really romantic, you know that?” I say, looking back up at him.

  His cheeks flush and I laugh.

  I look back down at the ticket, my mind struggling to make a decision. Do I go with Dylan at ten thirty, or stay a few more days to say goodbye to my mother and Courtney, who have been here for me in these dark months?

  “Dylan, you’re going to miss the god damn flight!” Leah snaps, obviously annoyed at this point.

  “Don’t get your panties in a twist,” Dylan retorts to her and looks back at me. “I’ve got to go before Leah bursts a blood vessel.” He shifts. “It’s up to you if you want to use that or not,” he adds, nodding to the ticket in my hands.

  He steps forward and presses his soft lips to my cheek, sending jolts of electricity through me. No doubt I’m turning pink as he steps back, smirking at me as he turns to go with Leah.

  I watch Dylan and Leah say goodbye to Oliver and Sarah before stepping into a cab.

  I walk back into the tent, looking for Courtney. I find her with Rachel and Abigail, talking to the bartender. I roll my eyes and take her by the arm.

  “We’ve got to go,” I say.

  “What? It’s only like nine thirty.”

  “I’ve got a plane to catch.”

  Chapter Seventy Eight

  “I can do it, I swear.”

  “Sure.”

  “No, really. I’ll show you!”