Like me.
Feet thumping. First Sebastian, then Josephine came hurrying from the hall. Sebastian didn’t have his sword, but I didn’t assume he was less dangerous. Even Josephine looked alert and tensed for action.
When they saw Amanda, they both hung back. Like they’d seen this kind of thing before.
“Is she hurt?” Sebastian asked me.
I shook my head. “I scared her.”
Sebastian gave a stoic nod, his posture relaxing. Josephine seemed to tense up more. Instead of going to Amanda, though, she came to me. Set a hand on my shoulder.
“She’ll be all right,” she murmured to me.
I nodded. I didn’t buy it, though. I didn’t feel all right. Why would Amanda?
The panic attack wound down after only a minute. They always seemed longer when you were living them. I took a step towards Amanda, intending to kneel down by her, hug her, tell her everything was okay. The look on her face stopped me. I knew it.
Shame.
She had just totally tweaked out on the floor, hiding behind a chair, and all three of us saw. We all watched her loose her marbles. That didn’t feel good.
“Amanda.” I wanted to tell her it was okay, we understood, that I was going through the same sort of thing right now.
She looked up at my voice, mortified, then sprinted out of the living room. Down the hall. I heard a door bang shut behind her.
I started to follow her. Josephine put a hand on my arm. “Give her a little time.”
I wanted to chase my sister down, be there for her, but I had to admit Josephine was right. I nodded and hung back. Unhappily.
“I assume you wish to feed?” Sebastian asked. I noticed he was buttoning his shirt. They must have heard us making a commotion and come running before they were dressed. Nice to know they cared, anyway.
“Yeah,” I said. My empty stomach grumbled again for good measure. “I just – maybe I should talk to Amanda first? I don’t wanna up and leave her.”
Josephine squeezed my shoulder. “You’re starving. Go on. I’ll talk to her. She won’t be alone.”
My vocal stomach argued her point to me. I hesitated, then nodded.
Sebastian got his coat and sword, waiting for me to join him before he hit the now-broken call button. I mumbled a goodbye to Josephine and got ready to go hunting.
Hunting.
What an ugly word.
But that was the accurate way to put it.
Instead of making me feel strong, able to take care of myself, it made me feel even lower. I already felt like a vicious monster, scaring the shit out of Amanda. Now I had to hunt. Hunters killed. Kent was dead, Emily was dead, Evan was dead, even Amanda.
We’re surrounded by death.
We – me, Sebastian, Amanda, Josephine, Kent – vampires – we were animals. Hungry, vicious animals. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly chilled. Remembering Kent teaching me not to hurt anyone . . . and how close I’d already come to attacking both Sebastian and Alec.
“You’re thinking,” Sebastian observed.
I shook my head. “Kind of. Nothing important.”
That was a bald-faced lie. I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud, though. What would Sebastian really say in response? I liked him and trusted him, but I knew what he was.
He nodded briefly. I knew I hadn’t snowed him, he was just respecting my desire not to talk.
The elevator slowed and told us we’d reached the garage. With a polite chime, the doors opened for us. He went to the Vector, disarmed it, unlocked it. I trailed him, watching my feet. Neither of us spoke as he pulled out into traffic.
There wasn’t really much to say.
IAN
I heard the rave before I saw it, a thumping sound that pounded down the street and into the car. We turned a corner and the source of the noise appeared: an old, half-crumbled warehouse full to the walls with dancing ravers, strobe lights, smoke and noise.
I pointed. “There.”
Sebastian drove past the warehouse and parked another block and a half away. I licked my lips. I’d be getting high again tonight, but frankly, I didn’t care. Without looking around, I bee-lined for the warehouse. Sebastian followed me in silence.
We were swamped before we even reached the building. Bodies spilled out doors and spread down the block, like the warehouse had dropped and broken open. A DJ mixed some heavy beats inside, loud enough that the party could go on out here. I reached the edge of the crowd, my body already twitching to the beat. I let the people enfold me, guessing what kinds of drugs were on the menu – dilated eyes and caressing hands followed me as I moved into them.
The high started fast. From the smell of them, the feel of them against me, from my hunger and their willingness to let me come close. A high just for me; a vampire high. My worries and pain vanished into pleasure, and it felt good. Damn good.
Hands touched me. Not just one person but several, brushing against my cool skin with their heat. I reached for those hot hands. Brought one to my aching mouth, kissed it. Bit. Its owner gasped, let me pull him close. Blood trickled into my mouth with the salt of his sweat. I sipped at it, then moved my mouth to the inside of his elbow. Whatever drugs he’d taken gave his blood a bitter-sweet flavor. Like dark chocolate. I could feel it scorch down to my stomach, reach into my arms and legs and make them tingle. He passed me as we moved to the beat. I let him slide away and reached for the next hand that rested on me.
One person would brush close enough to me to sink my fangs into a hand or wrist or neck, then melt away as another took their place. Salt and sweet and iron saturated my tongue, X and pot and acid sparked in my head. I couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or closed. Didn’t care.
And in one sip that was far less desperate then my first gulp, I was full. My whole body felt so peaceful, so perfect and calm. I stood still, letting this last person drift away from me, dizzy from the things in the blood I’d stolen.
A long, long time later, someone spoke. Or maybe only minutes had passed.
“He’s coming, you know.”
The familiar voice fell into my warm world like a sudden freezing rain. I opened my eyes to look at Alec. Closed them again and thought about leaving them shut until he left.
“Who’s coming, Alec?” The words swam up from somewhere in the back of my head. I almost didn’t know what they meant. Almost didn’t care.
“A friend of Sebastian’s.”
I opened my eyes again. Alec seemed anxious. “What?” I said.
He reached for my wrist. I pulled my arm away.
“Don’t touch me,” I said. I said it again, because my voice sounded so interesting . . . realized I wasn’t focusing. Snapped my eyes back on him.
He stayed too close to me, though he didn’t grab for me again. I felt compressed.
Canned vampire. Delicious and nutritious.
I choked on a giggle.
“Specter’s coming,” Alec hissed. “I’ve been keeping an eye on him. He’s watching. He’s planning an attack tonight.”
With my stolen warmth I could feel his cold. I shivered. “Fuck off, Alec.”
“I know you think Cain is some sort of hero – Ian, I’m telling you, he’s not. We have to leave before Specter tracks you down.” He reached for me again.
I jerked back from him and glared. “Thanks for the warning.”
He scowled. I tried to read how he felt, to decide if I should take him seriously. But someone went by juggling some glow-sticks, and I had to watch that because the sticks trailed light like it just spilled out of them . . . I flashed back to Alec again. Trying to read him. That’s what I was doing. I focused on him again, and felt my eyes wander away to the left this time, watching a pretty girl with spiky blond hair smile at me. She didn’t seem to notice Alec . . . none of them did. I looked back at him again.
“You’ll live to regret this,” he snapped, more irritated than worried now. I still couldn’t read him. Every time I tried, something else ma
de me look away. Almost like he wasn’t even there.
“Stop it,” I told him, suddenly certain he was doing something to keep me from focusing on him. I realized I was still high, though, and hesitated.
But I could still read everyone else.
“Alec,” I started, about to tell him that if he’d just quit slipping out of focus I could decide if I believed him. But without another word, he spun on his heel and stalked away.
I wondered about how distracted I felt for a few long, liquidy seconds. Maybe Alec just really bored me. I choked on another giggle, then let it out and laughed at myself. A couple of people around me started laughing too, not because they got the joke, but just because they were high and laughter made them want to laugh.
Then what Alec said came back. About Specter . . . and an attack. My head cleared out, at least some, while my knees went weak. I turned and ran to find Sebastian.
SHADOWS
Sebastian stood in a dark corner outside the warehouse, waiting. He watched Ian slide in between the people, dancing, moving inside the warehouse itself. He did not feel the need to join her, simply following her with his eyes instead. She ought to be safe enough.
One week.
One week before Specter moved on his own to destroy them both. Six nights, now. And the only plan Sebastian could come up with was to find and assassinate Specter. The man who had taught him almost everything he knew.
A burning sensation tightened Sebastian’s chest, one that had become familiar of late.
I was his pawn.
Sebastian had devoted centuries to that creature – not only centuries, but his word and honor – fallen for the same tricks of conditioning he now saw the others mired in. Tricks! Swearing oaths that in the end meant the pack would destroy itself before any one member came for Specter. Codes of conduct that put them at each others’ throats, their lovers’ throats, other vampires’ throats, but never Specter’s. Things Sebastian now saw as clouding and polluting. Things he now recognized as games.
He knew how he’d become caught up in it. As a new vampire, confused, lost, grieving. Specter had implemented the laws and codes, shown the young man Sebastian had been the price of breaking those laws and codes. For one so young and troubled to see through such careful manipulation – it was not likely.
And even if one of the young ones did see through it, either the others tore him apart for treason or Specter took him down himself.
His belly burned with the urge to draw his sword and strike out. The target didn’t matter. The smell and feel of hot blood would satisfy him as well as cold. And here, at this warehouse, were so many he could unleash his anger on . . .
Specter’s way of handling anger. A way Sebastian had accepted and used for too long now. As he nearly had with Josephine.
A way of keeping him safe from us. Unleash us on one another. Or on the mortals.
It made too much sense. Sebastian dug his fingernails into his arm, intent on controlling what he had been taught to free. When they got home, he would go out hunting. Search out the correct target for his anger. As soon as Ian finished.
“Ah, Cain.” The voice sent prickles up Sebastian’s neck. “You never were one for patience.”
Sebastian raised his head slowly, though his fingers clenched into his skin. Just over his shoulder and a few feet behind stood the black-haired man he had known as his mentor. Sebastian’s teeth ground together hard enough that they ached. Specter gave him a sickly sweet smile.
“I’ve come about the child you won’t let out of your sight.” His face pulled into a frown. “It’s sickening, really, watching you dote on her as if you were some sort of white knight.” He cocked his head to one side. “No matter. Let’s call off this charade. We both know you don’t intend to hand her over. I challenge you, Cain. Winner take all, hm?”
The jaunty pose, the flippant issue – Sebastian wanted to pull his sword and shred the bastard where he stood. But there were too many people here. They might see it as a show, until one sword or the other beheaded one of the two of them. Becoming a spectacle was not a good way to maintain his privacy, or to allow Ian to remain hidden.
Without a word, Sebastian withdrew his nails from the skin of his arm and walked away from the club.
A cocky grin split Specter’s face as he followed. A grin Sebastian hoped to wipe from his mentor’s face. Permanently.
IAN
I shoved my way back through bodies, shivering at the eerie dèjá vu that caused. So warm and protecting before, the dancers just got in my way now. Just like that night at the Half-Moon.
Keeping my head low and moving forward, I managed to shove my way to the door. It had started raining; another sensual delight to those still tripping. From the door I had to deal with more people, but with no walls to get pressed against I got through them double-time.
I ran back to where I’d left Sebastian to brood, leaned against a wall a safe distance from anyone having fun.
I didn’t see him. A cold chill tried to trace up my spine. I shoved it down.
Okay, okay, maybe you just need to get closer. He’s there.
He wasn’t there. The cold chill broke loose and shook me.
I got right on top of where I’d left him. No Sebastian. I turned full circle, searching – nobody but ravers. I forced myself to hold my breath while I fought shaking fear. Now was not the time for hysterics. I needed to be logical and in charge.
The only reason I could think of him leaving was if someone forced him. Damn tough. Unless it was someone from his pack – like Specter.
Shit. Shit. Now what?
I searched harder, desperately, hoping maybe I’d find him around a corner, a few feet away, somewhere close. I didn’t see him. Worse, the high from the warehouse had followed me all the way down the block, threading into my thoughts, wrecking my focus.
I paused to close my eyes. Tried to clear my head a bit, tried to let myself feel Sebastian. His stoic personality, the little pieces of passion I’d seen him display, the sound of his voice. Not that it worked. But I kept looking, kept thinking about what Sebastian felt like, telling myself that if he’d gotten into real trouble, I’d be able to tell.
When I heard the gun go off rat-tat-tat-tat-tat like some old mobster movie, I bolted.
The sound went on and on, shot after shot after shot. Part of me cringed, wondering how many bullets it would take to shoot a vampire to death, part of me zeroing in on the sound and hoping it didn’t stop until I found it.
It did stop, but by then I’d picked out the direction the noise came from. I pelted down the pavement towards certain danger, no longer high, not concerned about what might happen to me. Only scared for Sebastian.
ALLEY
“I think this will do.” Specter said it as if examining an item for purchase.
Sebastian followed him into the blind alley, agreeing silently. It was unoccupied, one way in or out, no windows or doors close to the ground. As good a place as the city would offer.
“Now.” Specter turned to throw back his coat.
Sebastian threw his aside as well, hand already on the heavy hilt of his blade. But Specter did not draw his own sword – instead he leaped, catching the fire escape above him. He hauled himself up and over Sebastian’s head, his sword still sheathed.
Sebastian whipped around, intent on catching Specter as he landed. He didn’t hear the rapid-fire explosions at first. Not until he felt the fiery pain of bullets ripping into him as he turned.
They stung like a hundred knives stabbing him one after the other. He whirled, sword drawn, to find his one exit blocked. Specter had dropped down behind him, a semi-automatic rifle jerking in his hands, spraying the alley and Sebastian with shards of fire. A few pinged off his sword.
Sebastian rushed Specter, only then discovering how much damage he’d already taken. Tiny holes spattered his legs; one leg buckled after only a step. He crashed to his knees, then hauled himself back up. Injuries dotted his torso. Several bullet
s had lodged inside him. And still more came!
Bastard!
With a hateful snarl, Sebastian took one, hard leap at Specter. His mentor’s face spread in disappointed surprise.
In one swipe he knocked the gun aside, silencing its spatter. The next swipe should have caught Specter’s neck, but his mentor had pulled away, already running as he spun.
Sebastian stretched to go after him – and collapsed to the ground again. The jolt of hot pain that surged up and down his leg told the story: his right kneecap had shattered. The landing must have been the final stress it could not take. He could not force it to take weight – there was nothing there.
“Damn!”
He pushed himself to kneel on his less injured leg. Specter’s back vanished down the street, out of sight in moments. Sebastian growled, but nothing could be done. Specter had gone. He was incapable of following. He growled once more, forcing his anger back, and took stock of himself.
Bullets riddled him. He could feel them within, grating against muscle and bone. His internal organs – such as they were – had ruptured, bones had broken, muscles were torn apart. His heart, at least, had taken no damage, but little else had been spared. The entrance wounds were tiny holes, the exit wounds wide and gaping across his flesh.
If it wasn’t for that damned leg he could have gone after the coward!
“Sebastian?”
He turned and saw Ian running toward him. When he faced her, she covered her mouth with her hands.
“Oh, shit!” she whispered. “Are you all right?”
His anger had begun to cool, slowly. He pushed himself up with mutilated arms, taking his weight with his usable leg. Ian hooked her arms under his and helped him up. The sound of metal grating against bone traveled through him to his ears. Sirens burst to life a few blocks away.
“Take us out of here,” Sebastian instructed her.
She stared at him blankly. He didn’t have time to sigh. “I cannot walk quickly. You will have to carry me, over your shoulder, as fast as you can. Do it.”
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