by Iris Deorre
‘True.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘You are really great and thanks for being so supportive.’
‘We all need that at some point in our lives. To fail is to give up. To keep starting again, that’s success.’
He nodded. He thought about the many times he’d failed at business in the beginning. The nights he’d gone hungry, the months he’d almost become homeless. He could’ve given up, gone back to working a job he hated for the security of money, but he didn’t. He kept at it until he found success.
‘You and I are alike in different ways.’
‘You only figured that out?’ she teased.
‘Not really, I’m just thinking about how I never gave up on my business ideas, and how you never gave up on living the life you chose. You had Joy, you fought cancer.’
She nodded.
‘I think its part of who we all are. But I also believe that just because someone seems to have given up, doesn’t make them any less. I think sometimes people tire of fighting the fight. At some point there has to be some breathing space.’
‘I guess it’s how long you’re willing to keep fighting to finally get that breathing space.’
‘Sometimes it’s almost a lifetime. Sometimes its a few days. Who knows why things happen the way they do. All we really can do is be thankful for what we have.’
‘And that’s why.’ He kissed her again. ‘I’m so grateful I have you and our precious little girl. If I lost every penny I had, but have the two of you in my life. I’d still be the happiest man alive.’ He smiled.
She kissed him gently and then settled into the bed to get some sleep.
‘Until the next moment my love,’ she said.
‘Until the next moment.’ He smiled.
Finally they drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Two
‘Good morning, mummy.’ Joy was dressed and sitting at the table having breakfast.
Sahara was grateful for the help she got around the house, and even though at first she wasn’t keen on a nanny for Joy. It helped a lot.
‘Good morning angel. You look pretty today.’
‘Thank you mummy. I chose the dress all by myself.’
‘That’s great honey. Where’s Elodie?’ She pulled out a chair at the table. ‘Morning, Lawrence.’
‘Morning, Sahara. Are you well?’
‘I’m brilliant. You?’
‘Very well, thank you.’
Lawrence was always cheerful, which made mornings pleasant. Eugene had certainly chosen the right chef. Lawrence had since married his fiancé and they were expecting their first child.
‘Elodie is upstairs, she’s getting my things.’
‘What did I tell you about that?’
The little girl gazed at her blankly.
‘I said that, Elodie, is only here to help you, not do things for you. Your school things are your responsibility to get. Do you understand?’
‘Yes mummy.’ She lowered her head.
‘Good girl. Now eat up, you’ll be leaving for school soon.’ She rubbed Joy’s shoulder gently.
Joy nodded and spooned down the coco pops. It was an easy enough task for Lawrence, to satisfy Joy in the mornings, but not so with other meals. She was a fussy eater that no one could tame.
Elodie, walked in carrying Joy’s school bag and the things she needed for the day.
‘Morning, Sahara.’
‘Morning, Elodie. I thought we discussed this.’ She looked at the bag.
‘Yes, we did. This was my fault. I told her I’d go and get the things.’
‘Please, please, please don’t make it a habit.’
‘Yes, of course.’ She smiled.
‘Are you joining us for breakfast?’ Sahara offered.
‘Urm…I’ve already had something thank you. I’ll just have a coffee if that’s alright.’
‘One coffee coming up,’ said Lawrence.
‘You too, Lawrence, please sit down.’
It had become the norm for them all to sit down and have something to eat together in the morning. Even though people worked for them, Sahara always saw them as part of the family.
‘Where’s daddy?’
‘Honey, you know where daddy is, he told you yesterday.’
She took a spoonful of cereal and chewed a moment. ‘I forgot.’
‘He’s gone to France.’
She giggled. ‘He’ll bring me something French.’
Sahara gazed at her daughter and laughed. For a five year old she certainly was a smart girl. It wasn’t a surprise. She’d started at the private school at the age of three, even though Sahara felt she was too young. She soon found out it had been good for Joy. She needed the extra stimulation.
After she’d done, Sahara stood up to leave. But the moment she stood up there was a shot of pain through her lower stomach. She bent over a moment.
‘Mummy, what’s the matter?’
‘Are you okay?’ asked Elodie.
‘I’m fine. It’s nothing.’ She waited a moment, and it soon subsided. ‘It’s fine. I’m fine.’ She smiled at all of them. ‘I’m going to be off.’ She leaned forward and gave Joy a kiss. ‘Have a great day at school.’
Joy smiled. Sahara said her goodbyes and finally made her way to work.
****
Things had changed a lot with the flower business. Not only had she taken on more staff, she’d also opened another shop. But she was always in the shop she first opened, with Alice.
The day was busy as usual, and while Sahara lost herself in her work, there was another strike of pain. She bent over onto the counter and almost lost her balance. Alice was at her side in a matter of seconds, and held her so that she wouldn’t fall.
‘Are you alright?’
Sahara didn’t know what to say anymore. This had been happening for a while now, but she hadn’t had the courage to face it. Things had been going so well in her life, she didn’t want any surprises.
‘I think I’ll just go and sit down in the back room for a bit.’
Alice walked with her just to make sure she was okay.
‘Are you sure everything’s okay?’
‘Honestly.’ She looked away a moment. ‘I don’t know.’
‘How long has this been happening?’
‘A while.’ She admitted.
‘Have you seen the doctor?’
She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to step foot into a hospital again, but she knew that that would not be possible.
‘No, I don’t think that I can.’
Alice understood. She took her hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘Ignoring it won’t make it go away. Facing it could be the best thing you do.’
‘What if the cancer’s back? I don’t think I could go through with it again.’
‘Don’t think like that. You don’t know that.’
‘I may not know it, but I have a feeling it is.’ She was almost in tears.
‘Oh honey, you don’t know.’
‘I know. Sometimes you just know.’
‘Then if that’s the case. Wouldn’t it be better if you dealt with it sooner rather than later.’
‘I can’t go through with it again.’
‘But you can’t ignore it. You have your family to think about.’
Sahara knew Alice was right. She’d been working herself up to get the courage to go, but had never mastered enough. She knew that things could get worse if she didn’t face it, but she didn’t want to break the hearts of the people she loved.
‘Make that call. It will save your life.’
Sahara swallowed back hard. After a while she nodded. ‘I’ll do it today. Just give me a few minutes.’
Alice nodded and left her. After a moment of thought, Sahara did the thing she’d been dreading to do for a while. She made that call.
****
The next four days were stressful. She’d been to the doctors and tests had been run. She’d gone it alone because Eugene was still out of the country, and she didn’t want to wor
ry anyone about it until she was certain about what was going on.
It hadn’t been easy waiting for the results, but when the call came and she was asked to go in and see the doctor. Sahara knew it was bad news. She’d asked to schedule the appointment two days later. She wanted Eugene by her side because she knew she wouldn’t be able to face it alone.
The evening before the appointment, Sahara had asked, Casey, to arrange for the driver to pick her up, and take her to the airport to meet Eugene.
She slid into the car, her heart beating, and her nerves running rampage. Sleep had evaded her, and she felt so tired her body ached.
She’d done her best to be as calm as she could be with Joy, but it had proven difficult. The looming bad news had taken precedence, and all she wanted was for, Eugene, to come home and be by her side. Elodie had become a life saver, keeping Joy entertained.
The car parked just on the side of the private landing strip. She couldn’t wait for him to land. All she wanted was to feel him close and feel safe. Half an hour later the private plane landed, and he walked towards the car like the business man he was, talking seriously on the phone.
‘I’ll have to call you back,’ he said the moment he slid into the car and saw Sahara. ‘What a nice surprise!’ He reached over to kiss her, but noticed the tears in her eyes.
‘Honey, what’s the matter?’ he panicked.
She burst into tears before she could even say a word. He embraced her until she was ready to talk.
‘Do you mind giving us a moment?’ he asked the driver. ‘Feel free to sit in the plane, just for a while.’
He nodded and stepped out.
‘Honey, talk to me.’
‘I went to the doctor a few days ago. I didn’t want to worry you until I knew something.’
‘What’s wrong?’ He really didn’t want to know the answer to that. ‘Whatever it is, you know I’m here for you.’
‘I’ve been told to go to the hospital.’ She sniffed. ‘I know its bad news. I’m going to see, Doctor Cross.’
‘Oh honey, I’m so sorry.’
‘I didn’t want to go alone, so I made the appointment for tomorrow.’
‘I’ll be with you no matter what. You’ll get through this.’
‘I’m so scared. I don’t think I can face it again, there’s no more fight in me.’
‘Yes you can, honey. You’ve got us now, Joy, and I are here with you.’
She nodded. She was going to have to find the strength somewhere within her to fight. She had to be one of those people who didn’t give up, not just for herself, but for her family too.
‘Yes, I’ll fight. I have to, but you have to promise to be by my side.’
‘Always! I will clear my schedule for you, I promise. I will take care of you just like I promised I would the day I met you.’
‘I love you.’ She leaned into him feeling a little better.
With him by her side she was certain she could tackle anything.
‘I love you too, sweetheart. Shall we go home now?’
‘Yes, there’s a little girl waiting for you.’
He laughed.
‘Did you remember to get her something French?’ she laughed lightly.
‘Absolutely.’
They spoke as they were driven home. She leaned into him and enjoyed his presence. They talked about Joy, who took them off the subject of the illness for the moment. By the time they got home, it was almost forgotten, at least for the moment.
‘Daddy!’ She was in his arms before they could even shut the door.
‘Honey bunch.’ He squeezed her tight. ‘I missed you.’ He gave her a big kiss.
‘I missed you too, daddy. I drew you a beautiful picture,’ she said a matter of fact.
‘You drew me a picture?’ He tried to copy the way she’d said it.
‘Yes I did.’ she giggled. ‘Come with me, come and see.’ She slid down him, took his hand and dragged him to her bedroom.
‘How was she today?’ Sahara asked.
‘Giddy. She couldn’t wait for Eugene,’ said Elodie.
‘I don’t blame her. I couldn’t wait for him too.’ She laughed. ‘I just want to say thank you for all the extra hours you’ve put in lately.’
‘It’s my job, and I love spending time with Joy. There is never a dull moment.’
‘I can agree with that.’
‘Well, I hope you don’t mind me saying that I might need you a lot more than I expected.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yes, there might be some changes. I will inform you as soon as I’m sure about everything.’ She took a deep breath.
‘Yes, yes of course.’
‘You’ll be paid for it, don’t think you won’t.’
‘I never doubted it. You have already been so generous and kind.’
Sahara smiled. She was happy that every person that worked for her seemed happy, it was the way it was supposed to be. Harmony was what Sahara loved.
Eugene’s suitcases were taken upstairs by a staff member. Sahara told him to leave the luggage unpacked, she would do it herself. He nodded and departed. She took a moment to walk into the living-room and towards the French doors and just look out onto the beautiful scenery. The green grass, the colourful patch of flowers calmed her somewhat. If only her life was that simple. All she’d have to do was grow, and the earth would take care of the rest.
‘Mummy, mummy, look what daddy brought me!’
Sahara almost jumped out of her skin, Joy had a way of sneaking up on her.
‘What is it honey?’
‘It’s the Eiffel tower!’ She shook the box.
Sahara read the box.
‘It’s a three D puzzle. She’s so clever I didn’t know what else to get her.’ He laughed.
‘He also got me loads of new clothes.’
‘Is that so?’
‘Yes, I’m going to look French.’ She lifted her head. ‘I’m going to try some on now.’
Sahara laughed. ‘You, buying clothes?’
‘I had help, you know.’
‘I’m sure you did.’ she giggled.
‘Personal shoppers are handy.’
‘Ha!’
‘But I was able to see what she would and wouldn’t like. I do know my daughters style. Very sophisticated.’
‘Just like her father. She’s her father’s daughter.’
He laughed as he wrapped his hands around her waist. ‘Are you okay?’
‘No, not really, but I have you and it makes things a little easier.’
‘I’m sorry you feel nervous. I wish I could take it away and carry it for you.’
‘Just being here with me is more than enough. Having you close to me is all I need.’
‘How about I run you a bath, scrub your back and help you relax. I’ll be your personal slave today.’ He chuckled.
‘That sounds like a plan. I like the sound of that.’
‘Great. I’ll just ask Elodie to entertain Joy, while I give you my full attention.’ He stepped back. ‘You wait here and I’ll come for you.’
‘Okay.’ She giggled. ‘I can’t wait.’
He left her a while to go and get things ready. It didn’t take him too long and soon he whisked her upstairs and into their private bathroom.
‘That looks stunning.’
There were candles all around the bathtub, and bubbles floated on the surface of the water. He stood behind her and undressed her slowly, taking time to give her kisses on her warm skin.
‘You’re beautiful and you’re making me horny.’ He laughed.
‘Well let’s hope I can keep making you horny in a few months time.’ She worried about what the future held.
‘You’re beautiful regardless. Don’t worry about the future that hasn’t happened. Remember?’
She smiled. She’d taught him well. She stood naked before him, he held out his hand, and helped her into the bath. She stepped into the warm water, and immediately her body relaxed.
�
�I’ve added Epsom salts.’
‘Hmmm, this is perfect’
He leaned her forward so he could lather her body. The soft touch made her body relax further. The salts penetrated her body and soon the world was right again.
‘How does that feel?’
‘Amazing. Oh my goodness. It feels so amazing!’
He continued to give her a massage. It melted away all the anxiety, and the worry that had built up in her body. He gave her gentle kisses and made sure she felt like the most loved woman in the world.
‘This was a great idea.’
‘I love it too. I love feeling all the parts of you. You are important, Sahara.’
She leaned into the bath and took it all in. Sometimes she felt like crying, but it was tears of joy and not sadness. She felt so blessed to have a man like him in her life, she also felt equally blessed for having Joy in her life too.
‘I want us to gather everyone and tell them the news,’ she said suddenly.
‘Honey, we don’t even understand what’s going on yet.’
‘I already know. I’ve been through this enough times to know. I just have to face it now.’
He sucked in a deep breath. He didn’t want to know what lay ahead, but he knew that she needed his support no matter what.
‘Okay, we’ll tell them together. We could arrange a nice get together and tell them then.’
‘Yep, that sounds good, I don’t know if they’ll be able to handle it again, especially mum.’ Sahara felt like crying. ‘How are we going to explain cancer to a five year old?’
He dropped his head onto the side of the bathtub and just took that in. The future could present anything; he wasn’t even sure how to answer that.
‘I don’t know honey. I honestly don’t know.’
‘I guess we’ll ask the professionals,’ she said. ‘Because I don’t know if I could do it.’
He lifted and lathered her body again. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about nurses and medication, not yet.
‘I’m sorry honey,’ she said as if reading his mind.
‘It’s okay. Let’s try to just be here.’
‘I agree.’
He leaned forward and gave her kiss. She held onto the sides of his face, shut her eyes and enjoyed the touch of his lips. She took nothing for granted, and knew that when treatment started, all the joy of being loving wouldn’t be in the picture.