Ties That Bind

by Heather Huffman

  Kate squeezed her eyes tight, trying to picture her stupid, loveable dog to block out the nightmares. Ty. Of course. Ty had known Justin was there. That’s why he’d been so worked up that night. Kate concentrated on the image of his ever-smiling face. It was so much more pleasant a thought than blood; death.

  “Ms. Yager?” The doctor was leaning over her again. “Do you feel like talking for a minute?”

  “Can Gavin come in first? I want him here,” Kate struggled to sit up again.

  “Sure, but I need you to lie back, okay? I’ll raise your bed a little bit but that’s it. You have to lie still.”

  Kate nodded. Something in his voice required obedience. Gavin was at her side again, taking her hand in his, lending her his strength.

  “We’re very happy you’ve rejoined us,” the doctor smiled kindly at her. She tried to return the smile. “There’s still some swelling in the spinal cord. The MRI didn’t show any damage, so we’re pretty confident the feeling will return to your legs as the swelling goes down, but we won’t know for sure until it does.”

  Kate nodded, inadvertently squeezing Gavin’s hand tighter.

  “In the meantime, you have got to lie still. Give your body time to heal. You seem to have full use of your upper body. That’s a really good sign. All we can do now is wait and see.”

  “Can I see my friends?” Kate wondered.

  “Certainly,” the doctor turned his attention to Gavin. “Try to keep the number of guests at any given time limited, and don’t let them wear her out too much.”

  Gavin nodded quietly.

  “We’ll be checking in every couple of hours. See if you can eat something light. Once you’re keeping food down, we can remove one of the IVs. Let us know if anything changes at all.”

  “Thank you,” Gavin nodded again.

  “Thank you,” Kate whispered, her eyes meeting Gavin’s. Neither moved, seemingly holding a conversation without words.

  “Kate, oh thank God you’re awake,” Jessica was the first through the door.

  “Oh you poor thing,” Liz was right on her heels.

  “Hey guys,” Kate brightened at the sight of her two best friends. “Sorry for all of the drama.”

  “Give me a break,” Jessica took her free hand. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “Go get something to eat, Gavin,” Liz wedged in between Kate and Gavin. “You look awful.”

  “You really do look like you could use a break,” Kate agreed when Gavin went to protest. “I’ll still be here when you get back.”

  “Very funny,” he rolled his eyes, but conceded. “I’ll be right back. Don’t let her try to move or get worked up.”

  “They’ll be model babysitters,” Kate promised on their behalf.

  “We were trying to listen from the hall,” Liz admitted. “Stupid HIPAA, the doctors wouldn’t talk to us.”

  “Are you okay?” Jessica fretted.

  “Yeah, I think so.” Kate filled them in on the prognosis so far. Other than the swelling on her spine, Kate had escaped the accident with only a few cracked ribs and her fair share of cuts and bruises. She was actually very lucky.

  “Can we do anything?”

  “Yes, tell me about you. I don’t want to think about this anymore. How are you feeling Jessica? How’s married life, Liz? When do you leave for your honeymoon?”

  “I feel fine,” Jessica assured her. “Tired, hungry, but fine.”

  “We postponed our trip for a little while,” Liz tried to play it down, but Kate knew why.

  “Please go. Promise me you’ll call your travel agent and reschedule it right away. I’m so sorry to disrupt your plans.”

  “Would you stop apologizing?” Liz was exasperated. “Derrick and I don’t mind at all. We’ll go once you’re home. We want to wait.”

  “Hey, can we have a turn?” Tara poked her head through the door. “Joan’s out here, too.”

  “Okay, okay,” Jessica frowned. “We’ll be back tomorrow. We’ll chase Gavin home to shower and change.”

  “Please do,” Kate smiled. Tara and Joan assumed the positions that had been held by Jessica and Liz. Gavin resumed his sentry position. Gaston stopped by and Joan relinquished her spot. Jack poked his head in, and Gaston gave up his place. As touched as Kate was by their concern, she was also exhausted. Before she could voice the need, Gavin shooed everyone from the room and pulled up a chair so he could hold her hand as she slept.

  “Kate?”

  “Hmmm?”

  “Don’t sleep too long, okay?” He seemed so hesitant, so vulnerable when he asked it nearly broke Kate’s heart.

  “Not too long,” she promised, her eyelids sinking shut.

  Kate didn’t know how long she slept, but she was vaguely aware of the concern in Gavin’s voice as he instructed someone to just leave the broth on the table.

  “Did I sleep too long?” Kate squeezed his hand to let him know she was awake.

  “I just worry too much,” he admitted with a grin.

  “You should take care of yourself, too. Have you slept at all since this happened?”

  “A little,” he hedged.

  “Eaten?”

  “Not really,” he shrugged.

  “If I eat, will you?”

  “Stop worrying about me.”

  “No.”

  “Fine, I’ll eat. You first,” Gavin raised her bed the slight amount allowed by the doctor and positioned the tray so he could feed her a spoonful of broth.

  “Ugh, that’s awful.” Kate swallowed the tasteless brown water.

  “I’ll smuggle you in a cheeseburger just as soon as I can,” he promised with a laugh.

  “Gavin,” Kate grew serious.

  “Yes love?”

  “Did you feel it?”

  “Feel what?”

  “When he had me in the car, and the police were behind us, I was pretty sure I was going to die. I just thought over and over how much I loved you. I wanted you to know that, more than anything. Could you feel how much I was loving you at that moment?”

  “Mostly I felt terror, helpless terror,” he closed his eyes briefly as if trying to ward off the memory. “But yes, I suppose I did feel it.”

  “Good,” she smiled, satisfied. “I guess I’d better finish the brown water if that’s what the doctor says I need.”

  “I guess so.”

  Time lost all meaning for Kate. Sometimes the blinds were open and sunlight poured in. Sometimes she could see the moon peeking through. People came and went. She drifted in and out of sleep. Gavin did finally leave to shower and eat a real meal. At least, he promised he would eat while he was gone. He refused to sleep anywhere but the recliner in Kate’s room. Mostly he sat and watched her breathe. Of course, that’s mostly what she did, too.

  She dreaded the sleep, it almost always brought nightmares. She was afraid one of these times she’d close her eyes and have to fight the blackness to return to him. He seemed to share her fear, even if neither of them voiced it.

  “You poor man,” Kate stroked his cheek and frowned. He looked so very tired, like he’d lived 100 lifetimes in the past week. “What was it like for you, once I walked back down those stairs?”

  “I told you—terrifying,” he gave her an odd smile. “Do you really want to talk about this?”

  “I want to know,” she nodded. “All of it. Why were the police following us? Justin blamed you. I wondered if it was you, or just his crazy driving. It’s all so…disjointed in my mind.”

  “Ty went nuts right after you were out of sight.”

  “I heard him.”

  “I think half of San Francisco heard him. It took forever to get his leash on. He dragged me down the stairs once I did, despite his training collar. But you were gone. The car was gone. Ty found the blood on the sidewalk.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she caressed his face with her hand. He caught her hand and kissed it.

  “Stop apologizing. I called the police. The car had GPS, so finding y
ou wasn’t a problem. The police tried to keep their distance; they didn’t want to push him. He must have been completely out of his head by that point.”

  “Yeah, I could see that,” Kate agreed. “It all seemed so odd, like I was watching a movie in slow motion or something. I felt so… detached from it all. Did you say the police officer who saved me is here?”

  “John? He’s just a few rooms down. He asks about you every day.”

  “You’ve seen him?”

  “I visit him when they chase me out of here.”

  “You’re a good man.”

  “I owe him my world,” Gavin seemed to blush at that.

  “I’d like to meet him. To thank him.”

  “He’d like that.”

  “How badly was he hurt?’

  “He broke his arm in the fall. His back was burned pretty badly. It’s all healing really well, though.”

  “Does he have a family?”

  “A wife and two kids,” Gavin nodded. They sat in silence for a moment, contemplating all that John McKinsey had risked to save Kate. She was very thankful that there were men like John McKinsey in the world, and she wondered if she could ever properly convey her gratitude to him.

  When she finally got to meet her hero face to face, the first thing she noticed was the eyes. They were the same kind, warm brown eyes that had calmed her the night of the accident. He was a little shy of six feet tall with a somewhat stocky build and light brown hair. By all accounts, he was an average guy. But to Kate, he was Hercules, Spider-Man and Superman all rolled into one.

  “Officer McKinsey,” Kate brightened the moment he walked into the room.

  “Call me John, please,” he stood awkwardly at her feet.

  “Thank you seems too insignificant to suffice,” she searched for the words.

  “Your fiancé here has been thanking me for the past two weeks,” he seemed to blush under the attention. “I’m just glad you pulled through okay.”

  “Getting there,” Kate smiled. “How are you? Healing well, I hope?”

  “I get to blow this popsicle stand today, in fact,” he smiled at the thought. “But I’d like to check in on you again, if that’s okay.”

  “I’d like that,” she nodded.

  “Be sure to tell Vicky and the kids hello for us,” Gavin shook John’s hand and walked him to the door.

  “Vicky and the kids?” Kate smirked when they were alone. “How much time have you been spending with him?”

  “A lot,” Gavin admitted. “I think you’ll like Vicky.”

  “What if she hates me, for putting her husband in danger?”

  “You didn’t do this, Justin did,” he reminded her again.

  “There’s another MRI scheduled for tomorrow,” Kate changed the subject.

  “I know,” he nodded.

  “Of course you do,” Kate smiled.

  “Still nothing?” His eyes seemed sad.

  “Still nothing,” she sighed.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Kate was rarely lonely; there was always a steady stream of loved ones in and out of her room. But that didn’t stop her from being restless. The MRI showed the swelling was going down. The doctor reassured them that soon they would know one way or the other. Kate begged Gavin to bring her laptop. He’d tried to argue with her, but relented when tears of frustration brimmed.

  He couldn’t seem to deny her anything. Kate often wondered why. She had nothing to give, nothing of value to bring to the table. Their relationship had been mystifying enough to her as it was. She couldn’t begin to fathom why he was so devoted now. The look he gave her when she finally asked him about it was one of complete disbelief.

  “Why are you here?” She rubbed her temple in frustration.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I won’t be mad if you leave. No one would blame you.”

  “Did they overmedicate you again?” He growled.

  “Stop it, I’m serious.”

  “No, Kate. You stop it. When will you figure out that I love you—not something that you can do for me? I love you, Kate.”

  “But I can’t do anything now. I don’t even get good wireless reception here. I can’t even do my job. I don’t know if my light bill’s been paid. I can’t feed myself because the stupid doctor won’t let me sit up. I’m just a big fat drain—on you, on Jessica and Liz, on Joan… What if we can’t have kids because of me? You want kids.”

  “I don’t want any random kids, though Kate. I want kids with you. I want a little girl whose nose wrinkles when she laughs, just like yours. I want a little boy with your tenacity and those uncanny green eyes. I want a kid that’s smart and funny and that has a big heart.”

  “Liz is smart and funny and has a big heart,” Kate pointed out.

  “Liz is taken,” Gavin reminded her. “Besides, her nose doesn’t wrinkle when she laughs.”

  “Jessica’s does. And she has the biggest heart of anyone I know.”

  “Yeah, well neither of them are old or insane, and I happen to like those qualities, too.”

  “Now you’re just being mean.”

  “I just wish you’d get it. You are exactly and perfectly the woman I love. I’m sorry you’re in a situation beyond your control, but you’re just going to have to trust that I’ll love you through it. And you know—you can control how you handle this. The Kate I love wouldn’t just let this roll right over her. She’d grab this mess by the tail and whip it into shape.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she set her jaw petulantly. What did he know? She couldn’t even roll over to dismiss him. She just laid there like a useless lump with a set jaw and an angry glare.

  “Fine. Be angry. But you know I’m right. I’m going to walk our dog and get a shower. I’ll be back later,” he kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room, leaving Kate alone for the first time since waking up. That left her with two choices. Sleep or cry. She opted to try to sleep. Her mind was in too much turmoil to accomplish that so she wound up lying there, eyes closed and memories of happier days with Gavin replaying in a mental movie reel.

  She heard Jack talking to a nurse before he entered the room. She debated keeping up the pretense of sleep but decided it would just feel weird.

  “Hey Jack,” she gave him a tired smile.

  “Hey sweetie,” he tossed a package at her. “Brought you something.”

  Kate caught the little pink package easily, her curiosity piqued. “What’s this?”

  “Open it,” he seemed pleased with himself. Kate obliged, a genuine smile playing her lips when she did.

  “A new Blackberry.”

  “Liz mentioned that yours went up in flames with Gavin’s Audi. And that your laptop doesn’t like the hospital so much.”

  “Thank you,” Kate’s grateful gaze met his. “Thank you so much, Jack.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever want to call me Dad?” He asked the question so quietly, Kate wondered at first if she’d heard him correctly.

  “I’ve never really thought about it. To be honest, I’m still not entirely used to you not scowling at me.”

  “That one hit me where I live,” he started to scowl then caught himself. “But I guess I’m due a few of those.”

  “I’m not trying to be mean. Just honest,” Kate softened. “You know, I bet we’ll get there. Just give it time.”

  “Forget I mentioned it.”

  “No, don’t say that. I want you to tell me what you’re thinking. How will we ever get past the weird if we’re not honest?”

  “Good point,” he patted her foot through the blanket. Kate frowned. He instantly tensed. “Are you okay?”

  “Do that again.”

  “What?”

  “Pat my foot.”

  He awkwardly obliged. Kate’s face lit up. “I felt that.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh, Gavin’s going to be pissed. You got two firsts. I definitely felt that.” Kate giggled. “Pull the sheets back.”


  Jack did as she asked, his eyes darting from her face to her feet. Kate stared intently at her feet, chewing her bottom lip in concentration.

  “Katie, I’m so sorry,” Gavin’s apology burst from his lips the second he entered the room.

  “Shhh,” Jack put a hand on Gavin’s shoulder to hold him in place, whispering an explanation. “She felt something.”

  “Bloody hell. Why do you get all of the firsts?”

  “Shhh,” Kate hushed him that time. Three pairs of eyes watched her toes intently. They watched them long enough that when her big toe moved ever so slightly, they all looked at each other to be sure they weren’t the only one to have seen it.

  “Do it again,” a grin split Gavin’s tired face.

  “Okay,” Kate nodded enthusiastically. And she did. This time all five toes on her left foot wiggled on command. She beamed triumphantly at Gavin and Jack. They laughed and clapped each other on the shoulder.

  “You’re going to walk down that aisle yet, Katie girl,” Gavin knelt at her side to grab her hands in his.

  “I will,” she promised.

  “I’ve got to call the girls,” Jack excused himself to the corner of the room, where he began speed dialing to share the news that Kate had wiggled her toes.

  “What’s this?” Gavin noticed the present still on Kate’s bed.

  “Jack brought me my sanity,” Kate teased. “And I’ve missed it so.”

  “If I’d known it was that easy to reclaim, I’d have brought you one of those a while ago.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I was teasing.”

  “No, thank you Gavin. For loving me. For loving me enough to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. For sitting by this bed. For all of it. Thank you.”

  “Oh. That makes way more sense. You’re welcome?”

  “Do you remember how you looked at me when we first met? Like you wanted to eat me alive or something? Do you think you’ll ever look at me like that again?”

  “Most assuredly.”