(15:49) Shitty brat.
~
(17:13) Okay don’t be mad but … Arthur came over to study and he got curious about our day out yesterday.
(17:22) He ended up Googling your name. Not a lot of stuff came up.
(18:02) Is that so?
(18:18) Yeah. Your FB page is like a ghost-town.
(18:23) I don’t really update it much.
(18:34) We saw. You have like only 24 photos up.
(18:38) Isn’t that enough? Do you want me to FB stalk you when I get home? See all the embarrassing stuff you probably have up there?
(18:42) You know what, it’s fine! 24’s a great number!
(18:45) That’s what I thought.
(18:50) Although there were a few photos of you tagged from when you were in the army.
(18:58) Who’s that girl next to you? With the red hair?
(18:58) That’s Patricia
(19:03) She died.
(19:09) Oh … Lucas I’m sorry.
(19:12) Fuck there I am feeling jealous and … and …
(19:22) Cavan, it’s okay. You didn’t know.
(19:23) Still, though.
(19:27) Hmm.
(19:35) Were you guys close?
(19:44) Yes, we were close. She was on her first tour when I met her. She was a few years younger than me. She was really determined and sweet. You would’ve liked her.
(19:49) She sounds like a nice girl.
(19:53) She died the same day I got shot.
(19:56) Our team came under fire. Eli and Oliver went down within moments. Poor Patricia. She was almost home free, but they got her. I kept trying to hold them off. Didn’t even realise I was alone. All I heard was gunfire and my screaming. The bullet to my leg sent me down.
(19:58) I carried her limp, bleeding body on my back. I couldn’t leave her there.
(19:59) Then I took one to my right arm. It still gets stiff when the weather’s shitty.
(20:00) The bullet to my chest knocked me down and out.
(20:01) I woke up from a medically-induced coma two weeks later.
(20:04) With a bullet-hole for each of my fallen family.
(20:16) Lucas … You didn’t need to tell me all that …
(20:26) Thank you, though … for trusting me.
(20:31) Thank you for not being scared away by all this.
(20:35) How could I be scared away by this?
(20:44) War changes you, Cavan. I don’t sleep because of those moments. I lost so many people I cared for in the blink of an eye. I’m …
(20:48) I’m scared to sleep, Cavan.
(20:52) If I close my eyes consciously, even for a moment, I could lose everything all over again.
(20:56) Even you.
(21:07) Lucas, you can’t lose me.
(21:14) Best not to tempt the universe, though.
(21:20) I’m sorry I brought all this up.
(21:24) It’s always there, kid. It just sinks to the bottom of my mind for a while.
(21:35) Lucas, can you do something for me?
(21:37) What?
(21:42) Go and knock on Bonnie’s door. Ask to sleep on their sofa.
(21:46) I don’t think you should be alone tonight.
(21:51) … Okay.
~
(22:27) Here now. Camped-out on their sofa with some tea.
(22:31) It would seem I do have good friends.
(22:36) Of course you do, dummy :)
(22:48) Hey Cavan?
(22:50) Thanks.
(22:53) No worries, Lucas :) Try and get some rest.
Thursday PM
(12:00) Hey sleepyhead how are you feeling? Does your back hurt?
(12:04) Like a bitch.
(12:09) Sorry about last night. I don’t tend to ramble like that.
(12:12) Lucas, it’s okay. I like getting to know more about you.
(12:16) I’m not so sure that’s something you should want. I have a lot of baggage, kid. It’s why I don’t have many friends and why I’ve been single for a long time.
(12:20) Do you have anything else planned for your week off?
(12:26) Not really no. Tempted to have a movie-night by myself. Don’t think I’d be much company right now.
(12:29) Where are Bonnie and Fletcher?
(12:30) Work.
(12:32) Eleanor?
(12:35) She’s prepping one of the puppies for his new family.
(12:37) Ah no! Which one is leaving the pack?
(12:39) Sherlock. Family with a little girl came by. Loved him instantly.
(12:42) Damnit! At least she still has Bilbo and Belle.
(12:47) True.
(12:50) Okay, time for me to get up and migrate back to my own sofa.
(12:57) Okay. I’m heading into a lecture. Going to try and behave.
(12:59) Feel free to text though!
(13:00) Behave, brat.
Friday AM
(2:47) When did you first come out to your friends?
(2:53) When I was about fifteen, I think.
(2:58) Wow … Sorry, you’re never normally awake this late.
(3:05) Can’t help it. I’m trying to finish the seventh book by the end of the week.
(3:06) Ahh.
(3:10) Okay, kid, talk to me. What’s really on your mind?
(3:15) I’m … anxious.
(3:17) About?
(3:20) Sophie has been insisting that I need to back-off from you.
(3:22) Oh really? Why?
(3:26) She’s saying that I don’t know you at all. Meeting you doesn’t change that.
(3:29) That you’re much older so you could easily take advantage of me and all that bollocks.
(3:41) Cavan, whilst to a degree I do understand where your sister is coming from, you’re also old enough to make your own way in the world. She cannot dictate your life.
(3:44) I know that. She’s always been over-protective.
(3:47) Don’t get me wrong, you’re almost as reckless as I was at that age.
(3:50) I’m sensing a ‘but’ …?
(3:55) BUT you can’t always live by what your family says.
(3:57) I just want to be trusted to make my own decisions! Is that really so bad?
(4:03) You’re allowed your freedom, Cavan.
(4:06) Tell that to Sophie and Arthur.
(4:08) I’m worried that if … If I don’t stop talking to you … She’s going to rat me out to our parents.
(4:10) Let me guess; they’d definitely make you stop talking to me?
(4:13) Especially since I’ve already gone to meet you.
(4:16) What do you want to do about it?
(4:20) I don’t really know. No option seems viable, really. I just … needed to get it off my chest.
(4:26) All I know is that, regardless of what anyone says, I don’t want to stop talking to you.
(4:30) Reckless to the point of stupidity.
(4:36) No … I think it’s something much more dangerous.
(4:37) Oh?
~
(4:59) Goodnight Cavan.
Monday AM
(9:05) Hey I’m so sorry about last night! Soph just put me in a really bad mood after our skype-call.
(9:16) It’s okay, kid. Feeling better?
(9:24) Not really.
(9:28) Surprised I didn’t hear from you all weekend.
(9:37) I needed to get out. Went to stay with Arthur and his grandfather. They don’t have great reception.
(9:52) This is going to sound really weird but … I can’t stop thinking about running away.
(10:00) Cavan, running away from your problems isn’t the answer.
(10:04) Besides, you’re an adult. This wouldn’t be ‘running away’ as it is skipping town. Although I suppose they are one and the same.
(10:14) Disappearing, then.
(10:26) Better but even so. You’re an adult. The police wouldn’t look too deeply into finding you if they can track your phone and your bank records and know th
at you’re fine, just left home.
(10:34) They’ll think your parents are just paranoid or something.
(10:53) They ARE! You have no idea!
(11:05) My dad is always on my case about being healthy and active and all this nonsense, and prattles on when I smell of smoke because ‘smoking kills, Cavan!’
(11:08) Didn’t think you smoked.
(11:18) I DON’T! THAT’S MY POINT! PEOPLE smoke NEAR me! There’s a diffCavance!
(11:27) Calm down, brat, I’m not the one judging here!
(11:32) I used to smoke like a chimney when I was young. Your dad would grill me on the kerb for that alone.
(11:43) My dad isn’t as pushy when it comes to adults.
(11:51) Clearly he cares?
(11:59) Too much! If I was going to start smoking, wouldn’t I have done it already?
(12:06) Late bloomer?
(12:11) Hardly. It’s been a WEEK since Sophie went to Europe and I’m left with the brunt of my parents. It’s annoying! I can only volunteer at Karate so many more times before it just gets sad.
(12:17) Get a gym membership then.
(12:19) There’s no point.
(12:27) Sorry, I don’t mean to dump this on you when you’re teaching.
~
(13:18) It’s okay. I can call you when I leave?
(14:09) Okay.
Monday PM
[CALLING LUCAS]
“Hello?”
“So, kid, tell me about your day. What’s eating you?”
“There’s just a lot running through my head and Jean’s pissed me off today even more than usual.”
“What did he do?”
“Just Jean being Jean. Taunting me, making virgin jokes and boasting about how many girls he’s banged.”
“So he’s a slut. And what?”
“It’s humiliating!”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, kid. Everyone is one, that’s the truth of it. I can almost guarantee you that Jean lost his virginity and only lasted about two minutes.”
“Regardless, I’m sick of people snickering at me.”
“No offense, kid, but you sound like a teenager again. Who cares if you’re a virgin? Losing your virginity doesn’t mean squat in the grand scheme of things.”
“Have you ever watched the INBETWEENERS?”
“Okay, not every virgin is that desperate all through their teen years. Besides, just because you’ve ‘banged loads of girls’ doesn’t mean you’re good in bed. It just means the girls are easy and don’t know what a good orgasm is.”
“But –”
“No, Cavan. It doesn’t matter. You know Eleanor and Milo didn’t have sex until after they were married. They dated for YEARS beforehand.”
“Wow, really? Why?”
“Milo is a very quiet yet sentimental man. He never found ‘the right girl’ and Eleanor once told me that she didn’t think she could ever enjoy sex since she studied medicine and had to deal with a lot of human bodies in various stages of decay and mutilation. It desensitised her to ‘humans’ in general.”
“So how does that make them want to fuck?”
“Sex, Cavan. Totally diffCavant to … ‘fucking’.”
“Not really.”
“Incredibly so. Sex is something two people want to do and enjoy one another’s bodies. Fucking is something you do to a stranger in the bathroom stall of a public toilet or club.”
“Classy.”
“Anyway, back to the point, they were both happy with waiting but there was a lot of pressure on them for their wedding night. Eventually, they decided to get it over with the night before, to take the pressure off.”
“And? What happened?”
“They got carried away. Kept having sex whenever they could. Almost missed their own wedding ceremony.”
“Oh wow haha! I bet everyone was happy about that!”
“Trust me, no one was happy that I had to drag them down the aisle, both completely rumpled.”
“Hahaha!”
“Jeez, breathe. It wasn’t that funny.”
“I’m sorry but it really was! Haha.”
“Where are you right now?”
“Just … sitting outside the cafeteria. Talking to you.”
“Isn’t it cold?”
“Yes. My balls have frozen to the bench.”
“You can’t avoid going home forever. Just lock yourself in your room and blare some music.”
“I’m not a teenager!”
“I don’t bloody care what you think, Cavan. However you cope with being angry, you need to do something to calm your head down.”
“I told you I don’t handle being alone, well!”
“Neither did I.”
“Yeah right.”
“Seriously. I was erratic, angry all the time. Experimented with drugs and made my family miserable.”
“How did you cope with it?”
“I … got caught stealing. Hence the warning.”
“Wow … So, how did you cope if you wCavan’t allowed outside the house?”
“Not well. Typical teenage shit. Smashed stuff up, tantrums, blaring music until 4AM.”
“That’s so mean!”
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