He clenched and unclenched the fist balled up on his knee. He felt a little anxious that the first day of their little get-away was officially here. How did he tell Cavan that he hadn’t been on a holiday for nearly fifteen years? How did he explain to Cavan that he’d never, not once, gone on holiday with a lover before? And not just with a lover, but said lover’s friends, too?
It made his chest ache a little.
Cavan stifled a yawn. “Are you nervous about today? Is that why you’re up so early?”
Damn, the kid knew him too well.
“Of course not,” he snapped. “It just seems a shame to waste such a nice day.”
“See, I can always tell when you’re lying.”
“How so?”
“You use words like ‘sweet’ and ‘nice’ or ‘adorable’.”
Despite himself, Lucas chuckled. “You’re a little shit.”
“But I make you smile so it’s worth it.” Cavan made a noise like he was stretching out across his bed. Lucas felt his inside’s twist. All too soon he would get Cavan, hot and steamy from the hot weather, stretching and keening beside him. For two whole weeks. “Hey Lucas?”
Lucas smirked at the whispering. “Yes, Cavan?”
“I can’t wait to spend two weeks with you.”
Relief washed over him. He closed his eyes, relishing the sensation. “I can’t wait either, kid. I’m just anxious about the travel,” he lied smoothly. “Just need to get there and settle in. Then I’ll relax.”
Cavan snorted in disbelief. “Okay grumpy-pants. I’m going to doze for a bit longer. Then you and your lot can come and pick us up. How does that sound?”
“Awful.”
“I know but I’m not giving you a choice.”
Lucas chuckled. “Okay, okay. I’ll let you sleep. I’ll ring you in an hour okay?”
Cavan gave a sleepy ‘mhmm’ before the older man hung up.
Well, now he had an hour to kill. Drumming his fingers on his knee, he glanced around his bedroom. It was immaculate. He felt an itch to tidy up the other rooms in his flat, but he didn’t want to do that. If he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself in time to drive down to London. Grinding his teeth together, he hopped off of the bed and went back to the bookcase in his living room. He had a feeling he’d need a lot of reading material, pool-side.
Friday AM (later)
“BYE MUM!” Sophie called out over her shoulder as she lugged her small suitcase off the front step. Arthur was already at the curb, his blonde hair almost white in the sunlight.
Lucas’s car was parked up at the foot of their drive, the boot was open as were the back doors. Said man was leaning against the car, his leg crossed over at the ankle and his dark sunglasses obscuring the deadpan expression he wore. His arms were folded across his chest. Inside the neighbouring car, Bonbon and Fletcher were already waiting, Bonnie’s belly beginning to show under her floaty summer top.
Camilla stood in the doorway, watching as the three friends went out on their first holiday abroad. As Cavan tried to squeeze past her, she grabbed his arm and pulled him into a tight hug. It was so uncomfortable due to the intense heat, but she didn’t care.
“Uh Mama! Not in front of Lucas!” Cavan hissed out, trying to pry her sticky arm away from him.
Camilla chuckled and pecked him on the cheek. He really was far too tall. She smiled brightly. “Just let me know that you get there safely, okay? I don’t want to worry too much.”
Cavan rolled his eyes but hugged his Mama one last time and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll be fine,” he assured her. “If I don’t text you, I’m sure Sophie will.”
“Okay well try and behave.”
“Nope!”
She shook her head, smiling, as he backed down the garden path towards the car. She felt her heart swell when he looped an arm around Lucas’s stiff shoulders and stole a kiss before grinning and rounding the car to the passenger seat. Sophie and Arthur were already strapped into the back seats. Over the top of the car Cavan waved at her before ducking inside. Lucas offered her his own little one-handed wave before sliding into the driver’s seat.
Camilla stood in the doorway until the car pulled off the curb and drove out of sight down the road. It was only when the noise of traffic disappeared, did she finally return to the coolness of her house.
Chapter 32
~ September ~
Thursday PM
Breathe in ...
Breathe out ...
'You can do this, You can do this, You can do this.'
He repeated the mantra over and over in his head, the cap making his brow sweat more than it should have. His section had been called up to the stage and now he was slowly inching his way towards the steps that would lead him up to the platform. His stomach flipped. His palms were clammy. Nearer the front of the queue of students, two teachers adjusted their hats and robes as they mounted the steps. He knew he was over-thinking it all. The hardest part had been finishing the dissertation. This should have been the simpler part; getting up on stage, shaking the chancellor’s hand and accepting his degree on the way down the other side.
Easy, right?
He was inching forward.
He cast his green eyes out across the hall and blanched. There were so many faces staring back at him. The ones on the flat floor of the hall directly in front of the stage were his fellow classmates. They were drowned in black robes and pointed square hats. Beyond that, on the elevated seating areas, there were hundreds of parents, siblings and close friends all waiting to see their respective relation graduate. There had been so many rounds of applause he was sure he’d gone deaf.
Names were called out, sometimes an additional award was allotted to whomever had won it, and bit-by-bit Cavan made his way closer to the stage.
Somewhere out in those seats his Mama and Lucas were sat, dressed to the nines all just to watch him shake some dude’s hand and accept a folder with his degree inside. The ceremony had already gone on for forty-five minutes and he’d nodded off a little until someone had nudged his shoulder, gesturing for him to get up and queue with the rest of them. In the end, he’d stuck to his principal’s and not invited his dad to his graduation. He just couldn’t deal with that level of awkwardness.
They’d all driven to the Uni and Cavan had to leave them half an hour before the ceremony so he could collect his rented robes and the absurd hat –not that he exactly had the £50 to piss away but whatever, it was done now.
“For a degree in Sports Medicine … Cavan Geisler!”
With his hat tweaked and his shoulders straightened, he felt ready. Stepping across the stage, his stomach plummeted, and his head buzzed with the weight of all those eyes on him! He was sure his hand was dripping in sweat as he shook his chancellor’s hand, drew in a deep breath, and then made his way across to the staircase on the other side of the stage. He took each step down carefully, the relief washing over him. He was handed the folder with his degree from another tutor, before filing back around the hall towards his allocated seat.
That was it! He’d done it!
There was only another section of students left to accept their degrees, before the closing speeches. Arthur was in that last set. Cavan squirmed in his seat and tried to remain focused to watch his friend accept his degree, however it was so hot in the robes he was close to just shedding them. He felt his leg jig in irritation as he cheered for Arthur, and then tolerated the others. The chancellor’s closing speech seemed to go on forever.
Finally –FINALLY –they were allowed to leave.
The fresh air was rejuvenating as he waited by the entrance for Arthur to get out. It took a while, but he eventually saw the shock of bright blonde hair. Waving his friend over, they hugged, congratulated one another and then stood off to one side of the walkway so they could easily spot their relatives as they came out. It took a while but eventually he spotted Lucas’s stoic expression as he descended the stairs. Camilla’s bright floral dress was right b
ehind him and then Arthur’s grandfather and parents appeared a little way further up the staircase. Sophie hurried to join them in a peach and purple dress with a thin red scarf wrapped around her neck.
When everyone had assembled and exchanged hugs, polite greetings and a curt nod of the head in Lucas’s case, Sophie suggested that they go towards the floral-wall display near the front of the University’s building in order to take some photos. Cavan hadn’t opted to pay for an official graduation portrait, so this was the closest he was going to get.
It was too much fun, Cavan realised, to do silly poses in their most serious get-up. Arthur carried him on his back as he waved their hats in the air, a few of their classmates like Sidney and Zoe popped over to take some more photos before re-joining their own families. Sophie and Cavan took some photos together, then Camilla joined in, gushing about how proud she was over her babies!
Then it was Lucas’s turn.
The usual side-by-side pose was not going to work for Cavan. He looped his arm around Lucas’s neck and made a peace sign at the camera, he awkwardly placed his cap on the shorter man’s head, and then he used his cap to shield their faces as he kissed the older man. Lucas, a little flustered, smoothed his hair down and straightened his jacket before glowering up at the excitable brat.
“How about we take a nice photo? None of your goofy business.”
Cavan pouted but then relented. “Okaaaay. Just for you, though. Everyone else gets the mad shit!”
So, Cavan relented and took a nicely posed photograph with Lucas’s arm around his waist. He couldn’t deny how sweet it would look. He was beyond surprised when the shorter man scooped him up bridal-style. He knew he looked dopey, with flushed cheeks and his hat askew but he couldn’t have been happier. Just seeing the cocky smirk and hearing the older man chuckle was worth it.
Once all the photos were taken, and their robes had been handed in, they decided to go out for some drinks before their dinner reservation. Arthur and his relatives were going out to dinner straight away so that they could get his grandfather home and in bed by a decent hour. Watching the blonde saunter off with his family left Cavan feeling a pang of guilt. He had just wished his Dad could accept him being with Lucas, even after the police report had fallen flat. However, he couldn’t forgive the man so easily. He just wanted the support in his life choices.
“Cavan?” Sophie prodded his shoulder. “Go and hand those robes back in so we can get some drinks!”
“Yeah, yeah I’m going!” he shooed her hands away with a half-hearted grin before heading off towards the main reception area.
After he handed the robes and hat in, Cavan came back out with a grin and fell in-step with his little group as they made their way off-campus.
Their drinks lasted no longer than an hour and then it was time to move to the restaurant three doors down. It was warm and inviting. They were seated nearer the front of the restaurant, nearer the door which allowed a cool evening breeze to whisper in and take the edge off the heat they felt.
~0~
It was that particular photo –where Lucas was carrying Cavan bridal style –which the older man was currently looking at. He’d had the few nicest photos of themselves framed so that he could mount them up in his flat. He’d chosen sleek, black frames that had no additional sheen to them. Matte black, sharp enough to take an eye out, and contrasted beautifully with his lighter walls.
Bonnie had made a joke the other day, saying that he was creating a love-collage on his wall. The only reason she hadn’t died was because she was pregnant. Otherwise …
Though, to a degree he couldn’t deny her statement.
For years his walls had been bare, the most elaborate art feature he owned was his black ironwork clock hung up in the kitchen. He liked remembering all those good times with Cavan. It was hard to believe that just a year ago his life had been considerable lonelier and just that little bit shit. Now he had framed photos of himself with a boyfriend. He’d not really had that before.
Glancing up at the rest of the photos he quirks a smile; they had taken so many photos on their holiday to Spain. Arthur had gotten so sunburnt on the second day! The poor man looked as though he was a cartoon character.
Cavan, however, tanned quite nicely. He’d gotten the most deliciously golden colour to his skin that it took all of Lucas’s self-control not to drag him back to their hotel room every chance he got. There was a picture of them half-sitting on a set of black rocks stretching out into the frothy waves. Cavan was sprawled out in his red swimming trunks with sunglasses on his nose, gazing into the sun. He looked like a young Greek God. Lucas, on the other hand, only got the faintest suggestion of something resembling a tan, so he looked like the scowling ghost of the little fucking mermaid in comparison. However, they both looked relaxed propped up on their elbows.
There was another photo of them walking hand-in-hand along a bridge in the evening. Lucas remembered that they’d held back a little so that he could speak to Cavan with a little privacy. It hadn’t been anything important really, not that he remembered.
There was a group photo of them all having lunch at a trendy little café. It had white table and chairs, huge umbrellas and brilliant pink and purple flowers sprouting along the bridge behind them.
Some of the photos hadn’t been anything monumental; some had just been sweet moments that Lucas had wanted to always remember fondly. Returning to the table he picked up the last photo and ran his thumb over the smooth, black frame. It was a gorgeous photo, completely spontaneous but Lucas couldn’t deny that that’s what made it perfect. They’d been mucking around in their hotel room during their last day at the hotel. Cavan had his phone out and was trying to take a photo without Lucas noticing –that didn’t work out. Now he had an adorable photo of himself straddling Cavan and tickling the kid as he howled with laughter.
That one wasn’t about to go on the wall –it was going on his bedside table.
It was only when he got to his bedroom door that he stopped and realised something; he’d thought of it as his bedside table on his side of the bed. The other side of the bed and the table belonged to Cavan.
Cavan’s side of the bed.
As he set the photo-frame on his bedside table, he glanced over at Cavan’s side of the bed. The sheets were still pulled taut, unused, for the last two days. As selfish as it sounded, he didn’t just want Cavan to be around on the weekends. It felt like half the brat’s time was being eaten up by travelling all the time. Lucas frowned; what could he do to change that? He could always make the effort and go and see Cavan at his own house, but the idea of suffocating his shithead father with his own tie-clip collection was just too tempting.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed he continued to frown into thin air. Bonnie would have said it was obvious. Eleanor would comment that he was over-thinking when the answer was really, rather simple.
Bonnie would know.
Making sure he had his keys, he ducked out of his flat and went down the hall and knocked.
Bonnie was home, wearing some tracksuit bottoms and a loose jumper that just about covered her bump. “Hey stranger,” she grinned as she closed the door behind him. “I was wondering what you were up to today.”
Lucas offered a small smile but didn’t comment. Bonnie waddled into the living room and settled on her little nest in the corner of the sofa. Lucas offered to get them both a drink. She smiled and said she felt lazy even though they both know it’s because she’d pregnant. Lucas returned with some a cup of tea each and settled down on the end of the sofa by Bonnie’s feet.
“So, what’s brought you here to my little nest?” she asked coyly.
“I was just hanging up some of my photos and it got me thinking,” he said evasively.
“About?” she coaxed, looking at him over the rim of her mug.
“Just how close Cavan and I have gotten since we started speaking.”
Bonnie nodded sagely as she warmed her hands up. It had been a rather
bitter day, the chill clinging to every room in the building. “Well nine months is a fairly long time to get comfortable with someone,” she said. “Some people get married within six, so I think you guys are doing well.”
Lucas snorted and sipped his tea. “I just don’t want to do anything that makes him … think we’re going too fast.”
“Lucas,” she chided. “Cavan is besotted with you. He’d do pretty much whatever you asked.”
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