It wasn’t an easy feat; whenever one of them drifted off, the sharp squeak of rubber soles on the floor or old metal wheels swivelling around would jolt them awake. Then there would be a weird headache that could only be subdued by chugging water or going for a walk in a slightly darker area.
By the time 3AM rolled around both of them were irritable and exhausted.
Lucas was awake, a cup of stale black coffee clutched in his hands. Cavan was asleep beside him, his head nestled in Lucas’s lap. Every so often a nurse would go by and hiss that Cavan wasn’t allowed to have his feet up, hospital policy and all that rubbish. Lucas didn’t even reply anymore, he simple drank from his paper cup and glared.
They soon got the message.
As the clock ticked away, Lucas stared into space, not allowing himself to believe that any of this was really happening. Just as the weather was turning brutal, Bonnie got into trouble during the last leg of her pregnancy. He could only imagine how Cavan had coped in that moment, completely unprepared for what was to come next. Even Eleanor would have known what to do. He had done his best that was all anyone could have asked of him.
Lucas was proud of Cavan. It fought against all the other ugly emotions swirling around in his chest as he waited to hear some news, any news, about his best friends and their baby.
He absently threaded his fingers through Cavan’s hair as panic crept into his thoughts.
What if he never got to see the little one’s face?
What if he never got the chance to baby-sit, despite all his vocal protestations?
What about all the baby clothes they would have to return because there was no baby to wear them?
Would they name the baby?
That thought made Lucas stiffen a little in his chair. Would it help ease their grief, if they named their child? He wasn’t sure on how parents coped in such ways, he doubted if any of them really did ‘cope’ as well as they liked to make out. However, he had read many a study on grief, and knew that people always seemed to have issues with closure if something wasn’t resolved.
Like naming a baby you had lost.
‘Yes,’ he thought. ‘Bonnie would insist that they name the child.’
He leaned his head back against the wall behind him. He didn’t think he’d be here of all places in the early hours of a Tuesday morning. He’s already messaged Rodrick and told him that he might not be in for work. He got a half-coherent message in response, telling him not to worry about things and to send Bonnie his regards.
“Lucas?”
Glancing down, he saw sleepy green eyes peering up at him. “Hey kid. Don’t wake up, go back to sleep.”
“NNnn it’s too bright in here,” Cavan grunted, slinging an arm over his eyes. “Gives me a headache …”
“Well you haven’t missed anything so I wouldn’t worry too much,” Lucas muttered, his throat dry. “I have no idea what’s going on.”
Curling himself onto his side, Cavan wrapped an arm around Lucas’s back to anchor himself. “Does it worry you?”
“Of course, I’m worried,” he said. “They’re my friends.”
“What about the baby?”
“Of course, I’m worried for the baby,” he sighed. “I just … Tried not to get too attached.”
“I’d noticed …”
“Don’t judge me for it, Cavan. It’s a huge change and so much can go wrong in the early stages of life. It’s … difficult.”
“Life is always going to be difficult,” Cavan grumbled. “Can’t not love someone or something just because it might go away.”
Lucas hummed but didn’t comment. He stroked his fingers through Cavan’s soft hair, grateful that the younger man didn’t press the issue.
“I hope the baby is okay,” Cavan breathed, almost inaudible over the ticking of the clock.
Lucas nodded, “Me too, Cavan.”
Tuesday AM
2 hours later …
Lucas jolted awake.
Fletcher was shaking his shoulder and calling him name, asking if he was alright. Batting the blonde man away, Lucas groaned and rubbed the soreness from his eyes as he felt a weight shift off of his lap. Blinking against the harsh lights, he grimaced and tried to focus on Fletcher.
That’s when it hit him.
Fletcher was here in the waiting room.
That meant …
“Oh, dear God!” Lucas felt the blood drain from his face. “Bonnie’s bloody gone and died hasn’t she?”
Fletcher did a double-take, blinking in shock. “You think I’d be so calm if she was dead?” he forced an exhausted smile. “I just came to tell you that the operation went well. Bonnie is fine, they’re just taking her up to her room now.”
“And … And the baby?” Cavan asked.
“She’s wonderful. Healthy. Has a great set of lungs.”
“Thank God!” Lucas dropped low in his chair; hands cupped over his face. “I’ve not been that scared in a long time!”
The blonde man nodded in understanding. “I’m still not sure I can believe any of it’s happened,” he admitted. “It all just came about so fast.”
“When can we see her?” Lucas asked, standing up to crack the knots out of his joints.
“The nurses said she shouldn’t be rushed getting settled,” Fletcher said. “Told me to come and get a coffee to settle my nerves a bit.”
“Bonnie was okay with that?”
“She said since she drew blood, it’s the least she owed me.” To emphasise his point, he held up a bandaged hand.
“Shit!” Cavan hissed having just woken up, his eyes going wide. “What did she do?”
“Despite all her feisty bravado, Bonnie is horrifically afraid of needles and surgeons. This was like a three hour long nightmare for her. She nearly dug a hole right through my hand –and that was before they’d even started!”
Lucas cocked an eyebrow at the bandaged hand, before swiping his jacket off the chair. “Let’s get a coffee. I will not be able to function without a couple.”
“A couple sounds good to me,” Cavan grunted in response as he tugged his jumped on over his head.
They made their way to the cafeteria. Thankfully, someone was working the graveyard shift and made them four black coffees and two regular coffees between them. Finding a table a little way off, the three men sat down and groaned as the reality of the day hit their aching bodies. For about twenty minutes they didn’t say anything, choosing instead to hunch over their coffees and inhaling the caffeinated vapours until their brains rebooted.
“I can’t believe I’m a father,” the blonde man spoke, breaking the silence with a look of sheer disbelief on his face. “It feels like this has all dropped on my head, yet I’ve known about it for months.”
“Knowing and having it happen are two very different things,” Lucas stated. “You can know about a test for weeks in advance and assume you’re as prepared as you’ll ever be. However, once you get into that exam hall and look at the questions, you realise you didn’t cover any of it. So, you have to start from scratch, in your hand, with no manual of guidelines, just a vague understanding through Chinese whispers you’ve accumulated over the year.”
Fletcher’s eyebrows rose. “Did you put something in your coffee or are you always this smart?”
“I’m always this smart,” Lucas stated impassively. “Just not out loud around you. Wouldn’t want to ruin your ego.”
Cavan smiled, laughter cost too much energy at the moment.
Seeing his reaction, Fletcher nudged the kid’s shoulder. “You tell me the truth, Cavan. Is he always this smart or does he put it on around me?”
Cavan glanced between the two friends. He hadn’t spent a lot of time around Fletcher and wasn’t entirely sure how to read the blonde man. He glanced over at Lucas but saw that there was no wariness in his grey eyes. In fact, he looked tired and slightly amused. “Oh, he’s always this smart,” Cavan agreed. “Even his dirty talk gets almost too smart to be sexy.”
/> Lucas cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so, brat? At least I wasn’t the one who wanted to role-play as Tony Stark and Loki.”
Cavan spat his coffee, “Lucas!”
Fletcher glanced between the two men and raked a hand through his hair. “Maybe I don’t want to be leaving my new-born daughter in the care of two nitwits.”
Lucas rolled his eyes. “You say that now, but as soon as you want sex and Bonnie lets you, you won’t be able to hand her over fast enough.”
Fletcher smiled as drained the last of his first cup. “We’ll see,” he grinned, smacking his lips.
“I guarantee you can’t go three months without needing us to babysit.”
“Are you challenging me?” Fletcher asked, aghast.
“Obviously.”
“Fine. Deal. Fifty quid.”
They shook hands.
Cavan couldn’t but sit there, amused at their antics. It reminded him of his own friends and that he hadn’t them or his sister in a while. He needed to fix that at some point.
They sat around, drinking their coffees even after they started to cool down rapidly. They listened as Fletcher recounted the entire ordeal of Bonnie’s surgery, how panicked she was, how he made the mistake of peering around the screen and seeing her insides. How his face had made her freak out that there was something wrong with the baby. They’d needed to sedate her midway through because her blood pressure had been too high.
He described how surreal it was to see this tiny human, shivering and squealing, from his lover’s belly. How he’d held that little thing when she was bundled up, crying to be held. How Bonnie had fallen under completely after seeing her little girl for the first time. It was like living in a dream, he’d said. Where time stops and when you wake up, everything is different.
Once they’d finished the last of their coffees, Lucas swiped up the cups, stacked them and then went over to throw them in the bin. When he came back, he didn’t bother sitting down again.
“So, who wants to go and see my daughter?” Fletcher grinned, feeling more alert than he had all night.
~0~
Bonnie had been moved to a private room on the maternity ward. Since she needed more peace and quiet, and a longer stay in hospital, she was allowed the privacy of her own room. The nurses had allowed her to keep her little one close-by, despite the heavy monitoring every hour. Not that Bonnie minded; she’d rather know her daughter was safe.
Fletcher edged into the room first, taking precautions to not make too much noise. Lucas and Cavan followed close behind, shutting the door on the noises of the ward beyond.
They crowded around either side of the bed. Fletcher slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders and guided Bonnie sideways to lean against his chest. Her skin was flushed and still a little shiny despite having been wiped with a flannel, and her red hair was tied back in a messy ponytail that was already escaping its ties. Despite all this, she was smiling.
Cavan inched a little closer, curious to see the little bundled wrapped up against Bonnie’s chest. She smiled and eased the blankets down a little, just enough to give Cavan a proper view of the little girls face; her cheeks were round and pink, her small lips gumming together in her sleep. One fist was curled around the fold of the blanket.
“Isn’t she perfect?” Bonnie breathed, tears shining in her eyes.
Cavan nodded, his own watery smile catching him off-guard.
“She looks beautiful, Bonnie,” Lucas smiled as he reached down and gave her arm a squeeze. “Just try not to scare us like that again, okay?”
Bonnie pursed her lips together, torn between smiling at the joke and crying at the weight of it. Instead, she just nodded a few times and said, “I’ll do my best.”
“Do you want to hold her?” Fletcher asked.
Lucas stiffened. Cavan frowned slightly as he watched the older man straighten to his full height. “That’s okay, Fletcher. Wouldn’t want to ruin this little moment.”
Fletcher opened his mouth to argue, but Bonnie shushed him. “Let’s not argue in front of the baby, eh?”
Fletcher exchanged a look with Lucas. It was a challenge, stating that this would not be over until Lucas held the baby. However, that would have to wait as, in that moment, the baby started to fuss.
“Oh gosh,” Bonnie frowned, “she must be hungry.”
“We’ll leave you to it,” Lucas stated. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Bonnie’s forehead. “Rest up. We’ll be back to see you soon.”
“Take care you two,” Fletcher said, not evening looking up to see them out.
Friday PM
Cavan hurried out through the double doors, trying his best to side-step some pesky year 7’s, before sprinting across the car park to where Lucas was waiting for him. The engine was already rumbling away as he opened the passenger door, tossed his bag and water bottle into the back seat and fastened his seatbelt. As soon as he heard the ‘click’ Lucas swung out of the car park and onto the main road.
“What took you so long?” he finally growled once they’d been cruising for a good five minutes.
Cavan, having gotten his breath back, raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “That stupid cow, Nancy, had the audacity to say that it was my duty to clean up after her class cooked in the Food Tech room!”
Lucas rolled his eyes, “She always tried to find a way to wriggle out of that. I hope you told her ‘no’?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Only just.”
“Yeah well, she’d barely finished the question before I was out of the room. I’m not her assistant, I just went in to borrow some glue.”
“Good. Don’t let her take advantage of you.”
Cavan sighed and reached over to squeeze Lucas’s shoulder. “Rough day?”
“I despise Year 11’s. They think they’re so hot because a few of them are taller than me.”
“It’s like they’re asking for you to punch them and show them who’s boss.”
“Tell me about it.”
Cavan grinned. “Have you heard from Bonbon today?”
“No, but then it’s hard to multi-task when you have a whining, drooling leech attached to you.”
“True,” Cavan nodded. “Plus, she has the baby now.”
Lucas chuckled deeply. “Knew there was a reason I liked you, brat.”
Within twenty minutes they had parked into the visitor’s car park and we weaving their way through the maze of corridors and staircases until they got to the maternity ward. Lucas knocked on the door before poking his head inside.
Bonnie smiled tiredly as she waved them in with her free hand. “You guys came at the perfect time. Fletcher needed to pop home to get some extra things.”
The two men sat down in the vacant chairs. “How are you?” Lucas asked.
“I’m feeling better,” Bonnie admitted. “Sore as hell, but it was totally worth it.”
“Speak for yourself,” the older man grimaced. “Until she discovers intelligent life on Jupiter, I am refusing to see how it was worth it.”
Cavan smacked his arm, “Lucas you can’t call their baby dumb!”
“I didn’t. I just said she wasn’t a smartarse.”
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