“Yes, that would be a real tragedy,” Bonnie deadpanned.
Cavan snickered and Lucas bristled.
“So, is today the day you’re finally going to hold her?” Bonnie challenged, cocking her eyebrow.
“Absolutely not.”
“Lucas, come on. She’s your goddaughter. You’re legally obligated to hold her!”
Lucas glared at her but didn’t have the heart to argue. With great reluctance, he stood up from his seat and went over to the bed. Cavan leaned forward in his seat, trying desperately to see if the older man fumbled in any way. His heart was in his throat as he watched Lucas gingerly cradle the baby’s head, every muscle tense with awkwardness.
Lucas sat back in his chair, the baby girl in his hands and his mind utterly blank except for one thought.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
He was holding a baby –his goddaughter –what did he do now? She was sleeping, that was good right?
But what if she woke up?
What would he do if she vomited on his shirt?
The smell would never entirely go, nor would the stain. He’d have to throw the damn thing out!
The baby wriggled in her sleep. Lucas felt hot and panicked, his heart lurching awkwardly in his chest. Ever so gently, he raised the little one to his chest so that she could nuzzle against his shoulder. She seemed to curl into him quite comfortably, grizzling quietly in his ear. He rubbed circles over her back like he’d seen Bonnie do throughout the week. He hoped his hands weren’t too rough for the little thing –God, she was so small! It was terrifying to think just how tiny all humans were at one point in their lives.
So small and vulnerable.
‘I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you’re safe,’ Lucas thought as he gently swayed. ‘If anything were to happen, I would do whatever it takes to make sure you’re happy.’
Suddenly, he was all too aware of Cavan and Bonnie watching him, their mouths agape with awe. “You’d better close those before spiders crawl in them and lay eggs in your gullet,” he hissed.
“Sorry!” they both said.
Cavan snapped his mouth shut, silently drinking in the scene before him. When Lucas wasn’t looking, he dug out his phone and took a few snaps –one of those was definitely going to be framed on the wall –before joining the conversation.
“So,” Lucas continued in a quiet voice as he rocked the baby. “Have you two finally decided on a name for this little one yet?”
“We have actually,” Bonnie beamed.
“What did you decide?” Cavan asked, remembering all the bickering throughout the week of what to call their miracle baby. Dear God, he hoped they didn’t name her ‘miracle’.
“Well out with it,” Lucas groused. “And I swear if it’s a gross, hipster-baby name I am disowning all three of you.”
Bonnie rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a drama queen,” she grinned. “I think you’ll like it.”
“So? What is it?”
“Lucas, Cavan, I’d like to introduce you to my daughter; Evelina Nicole Chartwell.”
Lucas didn’t say a word.
Bonnie frowned, “Don’t you like it?”
“It’s lovely,” he remarked. “How would you feel about me calling her ‘Evie’?”
“I would love for you to call her Evie.”
Friday PM (later)
As they drove home, Sophie messaged him asking about weekend plans and what he’d been up to, how work had been and all the usual, mundane questions. Cavan smirked, having not mentioned anything about the baby other than that she’d been born two weeks early.
(19:12) So are you going to tell me what’s going on with your mates or what?
(19:15) The baby’s ok, right?
(19:20) Yes, the baby and parents are all doing great.
(19:23) This is what happens when you don’t tell me shit!
(19:25) Have they thought about names?
(19:28) Evelina Nicole Chartwell.
(19:29) Evie for short.
(19:32) Whooooo! Was gonna say that’s a long name for a little one!
(19:35) Do you have a pic?
(19:36) CAVAN SENT A [.JPEG]
(19:38) OMG SHE IS SO CUTE! LOOK AT THAT HAIR!
(19:41) Wait that’s not Fletcher…
(19:42) O. M. G. Cavan is that LUCAS?!
(19:43) Maybe ;)
(19:46) Careful bro. Don’t go getting all broody. I’m not about to raise your Hell spawn!
(19:48) Ok you’re so gross! I’m not talking to you anymore!
(19:50) Love you too ;D
Cavan rolled his eyes and slid his phone back into his pocket.
They pulled into the buildings parking lot and climbed out. “Do you fancy a Chinese?” Cavan asked as he stretched his back muscles.
Lucas nodded as he locked the car. “Sure. Haven’t been able to go out all this time. Why break tradition?”
“True,” Cavan grinned as he hurried up the stairs behind his lover.
It was true, having a baby was a miracle in some households. They were loved and cherished and grew into wonderful little humans. On the flip side, Cavan got to sleep naked every night with the man he loved, watch eighties movies on Netflix whilst eating Chinese and then gaze at his lover as he read in bed, wearing nothing but a bed sheet and his glasses.
You couldn’t do those sorts of things with a baby.
Despite Lucas’s fears, Cavan was pretty sure he’d be able to make his peace with that.
Chapter 37
~November~
The week that Bonnie and Fletcher brought baby Evie home was hectic. Lucas and Cavan both had to work, however took great pleasure in making a detour on their way to getting indoors for a cool beer or hot cup of tea, in order to give their friend some much needed adult company.
The weather outside grew bitter and the prospect of giving Evie the best first Christmas ever was plaguing everybody's minds, despite Lucas's recurring comment that 'she's not going to remember any of it'.
"Firsts are crucial for a child's development," Fletcher stated. "That's what all the books say."
"Yes, because books never lie to people," Lucas quipped sarcastically.
Cavan swatted him on the arm.
Bonnie looked between the two men and couldn't help but smile as she rocked Evie gently in her lap. "Regardless of what those books say, I still want this to be a good time for all of us. Our little family has almost doubled in size since last year," she said, giving a pointed look over to Cavan.
Lucas felt his cheeks heat up.
Fletcher snorted into his mug. "Doesn't mean anything will change," he said. "Lucas won't celebrate Christmas or his birthday, just like always, and I have no idea what Cavan is into during Christmas, but I'm assuming a family meal is out of the question, and we'll have our hands tied with the baby. I guess that means it'll just be Eleanor and Milo singing Christmas Carols whilst doing shots."
"Oh, he's so miserable!" Bonnie grimaced. She stroked Evie's small tuft of orange hair before kissing her brow. "Ignore daddy, he's just being a sour-puss."
Turning in his seat on the floor, between Lucas's legs, Cavan looked up at the older man. "Are you really not going to celebrate Christmas or your birthday?"
"Most likely not."
"Why?"
"I don't like being reminded of how old I am," Lucas intoned. "Plus, Christmas has never been something I enjoy."
"Things are different this year. You have me!"
Lucas quirked a small smile and trailed his fingers through Cavan's hair. "I know I have you, brat. That doesn't change how I feel on the matter. Christmas is a waste of time and money and my birthday is –well –gloomy."
"Tell me why it's such a chore and I'll let it lie."
Lucas could feel his friends' eyes trailing on him. He tensed in the armchair. "I get no cards or letters wishing me a 'happy birthday'. There's never a party of people to cheer. A whole day to celebrate being born? Whatever for?"
"Fine," Lucas managed, smirking slightly. "For the baby."
~0~
[BONNIE CALLING]
"Hello?"
"Hi Cavan, sorry! I don't mean to keep bothering you but … is she okay?"
Cavan chuckled, "Bonnie relax, okay? You're allowed to have a lunch date with Fletcher okay? Evie's doing okay."
"But maybe I should pop back? She's only three weeks old and -"
"Bonnie," Lucas snatched the phone with his free hand. "I know this is hard, but Evie is being a dream okay? You and Fletcher need some adult time. It's only for two hours, I think Cavan and I can survive."
"What about me Lucas? I miss my baby!"
"Yes, and I'm sure it's all you and Fletcher are thinking about." He paused, "Bet it feels nice not to be covered in spit-up though."
"It's … been a while," she hedged.
"Bet it's nice having Fletcher all to yourself."
"… It is."
"Good. Now stop whining, have some fun with your baby-daddy, and we'll see you in an hour okay?"
She sighed down the line. "Yes, okay, you're right. Sorry. It's just strange …"
"I know," he said. "How about this? Stay out for two hours, and Cavan and I will send you pics of how Evie's been, Okay?"
"You'd do that for me?"
"Of course, Bonbon."
"Thanks Lucas. You guys are the best!"
"We know."
The line went dead.
Cavan snickered as he took the phone back from his lover. "She did need to get out," he reasoned out loud. "I don't ever want to see her with baby-poop-stained sweatpants for the rest of my life."
"It'll do them some good," Lucas said as he gently bounced Evie against his chest. "Fletcher's been missing some adult company and I can only do so much. They love this little thing, but they also need time alone."
Cavan smiled softly as he watched Lucas rub the child's back as she dozed comfortably against his chest. Despite all his protests, Lucas adored the baby with a fierce love that Cavan wasn't sure he'd possessed. Not for children, anyway. Unable to resist he took his phone out and snapped a pic before sending it to Bonbon.
(13:04) CAVAN SENT A[.JPEG]
(13:05) There you go, mama! She's being a sweetie!
(13:08) My heart melted! x
Cavan tucked his phone away. "Aren't your legs getting tired?" he asked with a frown. "You've been pacing for almost half an hour now."
"What else should we do?" Lucas asked with a frown.
"We could lie down in bed and get cosy."
"It's the middle of the day, kid."
"And it's a Saturday and we're babysitting. So, since this was your idea, you must suffer a few hours in bed in the middle of the day with me and the baby."
Lucas pulled a face, "I honestly didn't ever imagine that sentence coming up in my life." He sighed and adjusted Evie against his chest. "I suppose sitting on the bed wouldn't be the worst thing."
Cavan grinned. "You go and get comfy and I'll make us some tea."
Lucas inclined his head, a spark of gratitude in his grey eyes. He made his way into the bedroom and drew the blind down with one hand, so the light didn't piss him off. Easing himself down onto the bed, Evie began to fuss a little. "Hey now, shh, shh, it's okay." He gently bounced her, and she grizzled, her tiny fists nudging against his shoulder. For a split second he was scared in case she started to cry. She settled down after a few moments of fidgeting and scrunching up her little pink nose.
Cavan came in five minutes later to find Lucas reclining back on the headboard with Evie nestled in the curve of his body. Walking around the end of the bed, he set Lucas's mug down on the bedside table.
"There you are. Might not want to drink it with Evie on you, though."
"I think I can manage drinking tea, Cavan."
"Yes," he said slowly. "But maybe don't burn her little head, eh?"
Lucas rolled his eyes but didn't reach for his tea. "Can you hold her for a little bit?"
Cavan nodded, setting his mug aside and carefully lifting the little creature off of Lucas's chest. The older man took a long drink from his mug before turning a movie on the TV and lowering the volume. Relaxing back against the pillows, he sighed contently.
"You know," Cavan said, "If you'd told me a year ago, I'd be baby-sitting my hot boyfriends incessant friend's baby, I'd have laughed until I’d pissed myself."
Lucas snorted softly. "A lot seems to have happened in the last year, hasn't it?"
Cavan nodded, rubbing soft circles on Evie's back. "It's hard to believe sometimes."
Lucas glanced up at the younger man and frowned slightly. "You're happy though, right? With me?"
Dazzling green eyes turned to lock onto his, "Yeah of course I am. I wouldn't trade this for the world."
Lucas believed him.
An hour later, an incessant buzzing startled Lucas awake. Grunting, he wiped sleep from his eyes and rolled over to snatch his phone from the bedside table. It was Bonbon. He glared at his phone, hoping she could feel the heat of his wrath on the other end before opening her messages. There were a lot. All of them panicking and threatening the life of Cavan's balls since he'd promised idiotic shit about photographic evidence of their spawn of all things!
He didn't have the energy to reply.
Rolling onto his other side, he angled his camera at Evie, who was currently nestled against Cavan’s chest, and snapped a photo before sending it off to Bonnie. He didn't bother writing anything.
As he was about to turn over, he looked down at the photo again. He'd deny it to anyone for the rest of his life, but that photo made his heart melt. Doing the most juvenile thing he'd ever done in all his thirty-odd years of living –Lucas made a personal photo his screensaver.
~December~
Fletcher gave them a tired smile as he closed the front door. He’d had a long day at work and Bonnie had needed to go to the shops for groceries and had asked the boy’s to look after Evie for an hour. They’d happily obliged, although Lucas had offered to do the shopping for her, but Bonnie had refused.
“I need to get out of the house, even if it’s just to the shops. I’m going crazy in there!”
Fletcher had come home as Bonnie was dishing up their dinner. Evie had been asleep and thankfully hadn’t fussed when she’d been handed over to her father.
Lucas and Cavan turned to walk lazily back down the hall to their own flat. Lucas slid his hand into Cavan's and pulled him close for a kiss before slipping the key into the lock. When they entered, he flipped the switch and stopped short.
Their flat looked so … bare.
Christmas was barely two weeks away and they didn't have a shred of festive cheer in their flat. Lucas's gut twisted miserably. Was he depriving Cavan of Christmas? Bonnie and Fletcher's flat looked like Santa had been fed on tinsel for a year and then threw up all over the place. It was depressing.
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