Everything Is Figureoutable

by Marie Forleo

  The timing isn’t right.

  I need to wait until __________ happens.

  I’ll make too many mistakes if I start now.

  I don’t have the knowledge.

  I don’t have my plan all mapped out yet.

  I can’t risk __________ until I know __________ will work out.

  That voice is a one-trick pony. It wants to tell the same old tired story of how incapable you are. Don’t be seduced. The faster you train yourself to disobey that voice, the faster you’ll fortify your ability to figure anything out.

  THE FINE PRINT ON HOW TO START BEFORE YOU’RE READY

  The “start before you’re ready” strategy means exactly what it says. Stop thinking and start doing. Make a move. Any move. Send the email. Register for the class. Pick up the phone. Schedule the meeting. Have the conversation.

  This is why I was such a stickler that you make your dream actionable, measurable, and specific in chapter 6. A dream to “travel more” isn’t nearly as easy to start as “go to surf camp in Costa Rica this summer.” When your dream is chunked down, your next steps become painfully obvious. The following points will help you master the art of starting before you’re ready.

  1. BEWARE OF PROCRASTINATION DISGUISED AS “RESEARCH AND PLANNING”

  Starting before you’re ready doesn’t mean you should be ignorant or haphazard. Depending on the nature of your dream and how much you already know, some initial research and planning may be necessary. For instance, to reach your ultimate dream of speaking conversational Spanish within the next twelve months, you might look into language immersion courses, research private instruction, and download a language app. That’s fine.

  But be warned: extensive research and planning is often a way to keep procrastinating. You can spend weeks, months, even years “preparing” without making any real, tangible progress. Research, especially online, can be particularly dicey. I’ve gotten myself sucked into multi-hour, multi-day research rabbit holes far too many times to count.

  Remember, you don’t need to know everything about your dream, nor do you need to map out every step in advance. Stop hiding behind books and websites. Instead develop a bias for action. Make appointments. Have real-life conversations. You’ll learn more and make faster progress. Start before you’re ready. Start before you’re ready. Start. Before. You’re. Ready.

  If you must research, stay on task. The internet is a minefield of distractions that can gobble up the most precious resources you have: time and energy. Your objective should always be to get enough information to take your next active step, and nothing more. Don’t rely on willpower either. The lures of hot links, ads, notifications, and emails are far too great. Instead, give yourself a clear research objective (the ONE thing you’re looking to learn/find out/confirm/act on) and a set window of time to find it. Then set a timer, get the information you need, and take action on it immediately.

  2. GET SKIN IN THE GAME

  Find a way to put your time, money, and/or ego on the line. Create games that have real-world, painful consequences if you don’t keep moving. Cognitive psychology and decision theory show that we humans have something called loss aversion. That means we much prefer avoiding losses to acquiring gains. Let’s say a twenty-dollar bill accidentally falls out of your pocket and you lose it. That loss will hurt significantly more than the happiness you’d feel if you found twenty dollars on the ground.

  One way to get skin in the game is to make a financial commitment. Early in my career I was terrified of speaking in public. I knew it was an important skill, so I joined a local Toastmasters group. The membership fee was around fifty bucks. I was barely scraping by, so on top of genuinely wanting to improve my public speaking, I really didn’t want to waste that cash. As I got more involved in the group, I became friendly with the other members. Developing those social connections gave me another layer of “skin in the game.” Not showing up to meetings meant I’d feel guilt, shame, and embarrassment—so I used that to further motivate myself to keep going.

  There are unlimited digital tools to help you put skin in the game. Search online for accountability apps + [the current year]. You’ll discover a treasure trove of options with a wide array of features. The basic format is this: You set your goal (e.g., write five hundred words a day, five days a week) and determine the financial fine you’ll pay if you don’t stay on track. If you fail to take action, you lose that money. Some apps even allow you to determine what happens to the money you lose. You can have that cash sent to your nemesis or to an anti-charity—a cause or an organization you can’t stand. That’s taking loss aversion to the next level.

  No matter what method you use, putting skin in the game helps you power past procrastination. Don’t dick around. Your life is at stake. Do whatever it takes to start—now.

  3. VALUE GROWTH AND LEARNING OVER COMFORT AND CERTAINTY

  Like many bootstrapping entrepreneurs, for those first few years of my business I did everything myself. I wore all the hats—marketing and delivering my service, scheduling, invoicing, website updates, content creation, email correspondence, customer service—you name it.

  Eventually, I reached a breaking point. It was impossible to keep up with all the demands on my time. I knew I needed to hire help, but was terrified to make that move. I had very little revenue, so hiring someone seemed out of reach. I’d also never been a boss before. I had no clue how to find, hire, train, delegate, or manage another person.

  It was all so overwhelming and unknown, but I had a critical choice to make. Either stay in my comfort zone and keep trying to do more, swim faster, pedal harder. Or I could grow and learn how to hire someone. I could start before I was ready and figure this out.

  Instinctively, I knew if I stayed in my comfort zone much longer, I’d kill the very thing I was working so hard to build—my own business. My next move was clear. It was time to start living in what I now call the growth zone. Otherwise, there was no chance I’d ever move beyond the level I was at.

  The growth zone is a magical, albeit scary-ass place. But it was the only place I could learn how to be a boss, how to delegate, and how to grow my business beyond myself. Entering the growth zone meant things would be uncertain. I’d feel uncomfortable. I would also likely fall flat on my face. A lot.

  Guess what? I did. I made tons of mistakes. At first, I hired the wrong people. I was horrible at delegating. There was enormous self-doubt, insecurity, and tears. But once I planted my feet firmly in that growth zone, I refused to give up. There was no turning back. Eventually, I started to get it right.

  In the comfort zone, which is where most of us spend way too much time, life feels safe. Even if things are stressful, at least you feel secure in the fact that it’s familiar. You’re accustomed to the patterns, no matter how dysfunctional. It’s the beast you know.

  But everything you dream of becoming, achieving, or figuring out exists in the growth zone (aka the discomfort zone). When you’re in the growth zone, here’s what’s guaranteed: you will feel vulnerable and insecure, but in order to grow, you must let go (at least temporarily) of your need for comfort and security. You must train yourself to value growth and learning above all else.

  The growth zone is where you’ll gain new skills and capabilities. It’s where you acquire strength and expertise, and produce new results. Hang in the growth zone long enough and something marvelous happens. That growth zone becomes your new comfort zone.

  All the things that once felt so terrifying no longer faze you. Your confidence increases, which strengthens your conviction to tackle the next set of challenges. You begin to expect and embrace the uncertainty, vulnerability, and humility embedded in every learning experience. This cycle is fundamental to mastering the figureoutable philosophy.

  Almost everything you need to make your dream a reality requires new skills, experiences, and understanding. You must do things you’ve neve
r done before. Starting before you’re ready isn’t easy, but if you want change—it’s required.

  INSIGHT TO ACTION CHALLENGE

  Do the thing and you will have the power.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Recall at least one instance in your life when—either by choice or circumstances beyond your control (e.g., job gain, job loss, a forced move, a birth or death, divorce, etc.)—you started before you were ready and ultimately gained valuable results.

  When was a time you delayed taking action because you believed you weren’t “ready” yet, but once you did you thought, Hey, that wasn’t so bad. Why didn’t I do this sooner?

  Answer fast: As it relates to your big dream, what’s the one move you know you must make to start before you’re ready? What action step immediately enters your mind and heart? That scary big one you instinctively know will jump-start progress? Write it down and say it out loud.

  How can you commit time or money or use social accountability (i.e., positive peer pressure or the fear of guilt, shame, or embarrassment) to take a big step forward on your dream? Put some skin in the game and make your move now!

  Don’t forget: The Ten-Year Test belongs in your Figureoutable Toolkit.

  Do the Ten-Year Test (or Five-, Fifteen-, or Twenty-Year Test—the time frame should match what feels most appropriate to your situation) anytime you’re faced with making a tough decision that could significantly impact the trajectory of your future and the ultimate achievement of your dream. Ask yourself, Ten years from now, will I regret NOT doing this?

  Many people limit themselves to using their rational, logical minds to find their answer. Don’t make that mistake. As first discussed in chapter 5 about fear versus intuition, notice what you feel. Your body contains wisdom and intelligence that’s designed to help you figure things out.

  Become aware of what happens viscerally and emotionally in response to this question.

  Figureoutable Field Notes

  At twenty-seven, she transformed her family business from sinking in tax trouble to tripling revenue . . . all while battling breast cancer.

  A little over three years ago, I had just taken over my family’s business. It was still pulling in revenue, but the previous family member who was running it was sinking it fast. I mean majorly—fraud, tax trouble, not paying vendors, and not responding to customers. He was six months behind on company bills, with no money in reserve and false accounting. I took over the business and had to quickly learn the ropes. (I come from the marketing and branding world and my family business is in manufacturing and engineering.)

  Now I was using the everything is figureoutable method constantly. There were no records, everything was a mess, and I basically had to reinvent a very established company.

  Then, four months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age twenty-seven. That was definitely not in the plan! I now had to figure out how to run a business that supported my whole family, plus battle the beast that is breast cancer.

  It was all figureoutable. I researched and implemented remote systems so I could work from my bed or the hospital. I learned to delegate and hire experts to help. I created an “ATTACK LIST” (a powerful to-do list) to accomplish everything I needed to.

  Knowing that everything is figureoutable gave me a sigh of relief during a time I really needed it. It calmed down my team and family members to know that it would all work out. I pushed through and tripled my business revenue. Grew my team. Beat breast cancer.

  —AMANDA

  TEXAS

  8

  Progress Not Perfection

  Perfection is unachievable: It’s a myth and a trap and a hamster wheel that will run you to death.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Look. I’m a little freaky. I have high and somewhat idiosyncratic standards. My pasta sauce must simmer for no less than twelve hours. I karate chop my throw pillows for aesthetics (don’t knock it till you try it). I like all of my cloth napkins folded in a particular, uniform way (Josh loves it when I correct him on this one). My creative director and I laugh at our shared “affliction”—we’re typically the only two who notice the stray pixel on an otherwise impeccable design project. “Seriously, did no one else catch this glaring oversight?” So I understand the primal urge to keep polishing, tweaking, and refining to get something juuuust right.

  Yet I’ve come to understand a crucial and sanity-saving distinction: having and holding yourself to high standards is not the same as perfectionism. Yes, they’re related, but the former is healthy and motivating. The latter is dysfunctional at best and deadly at worst. Perfectionism at its core isn’t about high standards. It’s about fear. Fear of failure. Fear of looking stupid, fear of making a mistake, fear of being judged, criticized, and ridiculed. It’s a fear that one simple fact might be true:

  You’re just not good enough.

  Which, by the way, is unequivocally untrue. Sure, you may need to build skills and strengths to achieve your dream. Who doesn’t? But the notion that you fundamentally don’t have what it takes is a lie. That voice in your head that says so is just that same, repetitive, tired-ass shit-talker we discussed in the last chapter. The same voice we’ve now agreed to ardently disobey.

  Know this: The fear of not being good enough is universal. Everyone—and I do mean everyone—wrestles with it. The problem occurs when this fear metastasizes into full-blown perfectionism. Because perfectionism is paralyzing. Perfectionism keeps you suffering and spinning your wheels. But the dangers reach far beyond stuckness. Once perfectionism has a choke hold on your creative life force, it will stop at nothing to snuff you out.

  THE PERILS OF PERFECTIONISM

  Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.

  Anne Wilson Schaef

  All too often we stop ourselves from doing anything new because we want so badly to get it right. (And get it right from the start, dammit.) We want to present an image to the world that we have it together. We have little to no tolerance for allowing ourselves the space and grace to be a beginner. Perfectionism isn’t a set behavior, it’s a destructive way of thinking about yourself. When you make a mistake (or, heaven forbid, fail), you don’t just feel disappointment in how you did but in who you are.

  Here’s how destructive perfectionism can be. Between 2003 and 2006, researchers interviewed the friends and family of people who had recently killed themselves, and discovered something shocking. More than half of the deceased were described as “perfectionists” by their loved ones.1 Another study revealed that perfectionists tend to die earlier while, by contrast, conscientious optimists tend to live longer.2 In over twenty years of research, Dr. Paul Hewitt and his colleague Dr. Gordon Flett found that perfectionism correlates with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems.3

  Perfectionism is deadly. It’s harmful to your health, happiness, and productivity. In a sad and ironic twist, it’s often the primary blocking device that prevents you from becoming, achieving, and feeling your best. Nothing about it is helpful.

  Now for some good news: dismantling perfectionism is 100 percent possible. Even better, you don’t have to lower your standards to do it. In fact, without the toxic overlay of perfectionism, you’re more likely to produce higher-quality work. You’ll enjoy the process and give yourself room to experiment. And your one-of-a-kind potential that’s been trapped inside? It’ll explode onto the main stage of your life.

  This isn’t a negotiation. Pulverizing perfectionism, in all of its shape-shifting forms, is mandatory. It’s as critical to mastering the figureoutable philosophy as oxygen is to your life. Let’s begin.

  MY CRINGEWORTHY WORKSHOP

  When I first began my journey as a coach, I had a dream to one day work with large groups of people. I imagined myself speaking on a stage in front of thousands. I’d seen master speakers and t
eachers in action and wanted desperately to reach that level. It was an exciting vision, but my reality was much different.

  I was at the embryonic stage of my business. I had barely any paying clients and made the majority of my money bartending. I lived in a four-hundred-square-foot studio and ate an alarming number of PB&J sandwiches.

  Still, I was unbelievably passionate about the concepts and strategies I was learning in my training. Keeping all this newfound wisdom to myself felt criminal. Why is this stuff not taught in school?!?! How come more people don’t know that they can really change their life? This is so powerful! I felt like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory—if I didn’t get this personal development juice out of me soon, I was going to burst like a swollen blueberry! So twenty-three-year-old me decided to spread the good word by holding my first-ever public workshop.

  My friend Claire was kind enough to offer her basement as the venue. I named the workshop “How to Create a Life You Love.” I created official workbooks using Microsoft Word, some very sophisticated clip art, my home printer, and a stapler. Finally, to make extra sure the crowd could follow along, I got myself a big easel, a flip chart, and some markers. BOOM. I was ready to rumble.

  I’ll have you know that my first public workshop was incredibly well attended . . .

  By five people.

  Claire, two neighbors that she literally dragged off the street, and my parents (God freakin’ bless them). I cringe thinking about myself handing out those handmade, stapled workbooks to all five of my participants. I want to bury my head under the covers remembering the feeling of standing at that huge easel and making these adults—all at least twice my age—complete my workbook exercises. So sad, so pathetic, says the critical, mean-girl voice in my head.