I’m going to regret asking. “What was it?”
Grinning from ear to ear Jill said, “Drew’s been out with a lot of woman, but never brought one home.”
“And this means—?”
Jill cut her off. “You don’t get it. He never takes a woman to his place. Here you are, invited for an extended stay. Something that out of character means only one thing.” Taking a deep breath and beaming like a proud mama she said, “You’re special to him, KJ, special beyond all the others.”
All the others. I don’t like the sound of that. Of course there had been many other women. The man was gorgeous. Was what Jill said true? Did he treat her so very differently than the other women he had been involved with? Then why continually assert this is for only two weeks? Maybe Jill had misunderstood. As she got to know Drew better she did find there were so many more layers to him than one would guess. Was this another she wasn’t meant to uncover yet? She already knew he was special to her but she had convinced herself to put a wall up around her heart so she wouldn’t fall too hard when he said goodbye. When he sends me home. Is it possible this is the beginning of something as good as it feels?
“So back to the question at hand. What—?”
“His smile.”
A smirk came across Jill’s face. “A start.” Grabbing her purse she pulled out a paper and pen and started writing.
“What are you doing?”
“Making a list for you.”
Totally confused where this was heading, KJ asked, “List of what?”
“In business when you need to make sure you are making a wise decision you make a list of the pros and cons. This is the same thing but on a much more exciting topic. Let’s start with the cons because I always like to end on a good note.”
Why am I doing this? Reaching across, she grabbed the pen and paper from Jill. If she was going to do this, there were things that weren’t going to be said out loud to a friend.
It was a slow start but before she knew it, she needed to turn onto a second page, and they were both laughing so hard tears were rolling down their cheeks.
After Jill went home she found herself reading through the list again. Not only was Jill right again, but it actually made her think more about herself and what she wanted. KJ might be enjoying where she and Drew were for now, but through this process, she found she wanted more, so much more. She was thirty-two, and for the first time ever, she considered the words “husband” and then “children.” A few months ago these same thoughts would have scared her. She was still KJ, but newly reinvented. There was hope for her to grow whole again. Determined, KJ closed her eyes and envisioned building a new life for herself. Silently she toasted her future. Here’s to the next chapter in my life. It might not have a Drew Navarro in it, but that is okay. It has to be.
Chapter Twelve
‡
Drew had texted Katherine, letting her know he would be home by nine and to be ready for breakfast. When she said she didn’t want to go out, he texted her again to ask why. When she didn’t respond, he was instantly concerned. Why did I leave her alone in the city all night? He knew the answer, but didn’t want to face it. He was an insensitive ass thinking only of himself. He wasn’t someone who should take care of a goldfish, never mind another person. She’s my guest, my responsibility. She trusted me to take care of her. The traffic for some reason seemed worse than normal.
“Move this fucking thing already,” he had barked at the limo driver. There was a list of excuses as to why the limo appeared to be at a dead stop, which only infuriated him further. Phone clenched in hand, he dialed her number and it went to voicemail. What the fuck? There was only one thing he wanted right now and that was to make sure she was okay. That meant getting back to the penthouse now and not in a half hour.
His selfish behavior pulled her away from her support system back home and brought her to a city that doesn’t stop to ask questions. He knew she was going through some tough times and all he could do was think of having her in his bed at any cost. What if that price was too high? Fist clenched, he opened the limo door as it was moving slowly. The driver slammed on the brakes.
“Mr. Navarro, where are you going?”
Drew didn’t answer. Leaving the vehicle he slammed the door. He could make it the ten blocks faster jogging than sitting amongst the honking horns. Why do I live here?
Weaving in and out of pedestrians and traffic he made it in ten minutes. As he rode the elevator he could feel his pulse beating in his throat. His normal calm demeanor vanished, and for the first time he felt anxious about what he might be walking into. Please be okay.
Even before the doors opened he heard the alarm and Blossom barking. What the hell? He almost fell out as they opened. The smell of smoke was apparent, and the noise echoed through him.
“Katherine,” he yelled loudly. No response. He scanned the living room and bedroom but she wasn’t there. Then it dawned on him that the smoke was coming from the kitchen.
Bolting quickly he entered the room, turned the corner, and his heart instantly dropped to his stomach. She was standing on top of the marble countertop waving a towel above her head wildly while her dog sat close by now quiet.
“What the hell are you doing?”
His sharp tone must’ve startled her. As she turned, she lost her footing and began to fall in his direction. I’m here. You’re safe. Within seconds his angel had fallen from heaven into his waiting arms. He never wanted to let her go, but it was inevitable that he would have to.
KJ closed her eyes, took in a sharp breath, and prepared herself for the impact with the cold, hard tile floor below. Instead she felt the heat of his powerful arms pull her effortlessly against his hard muscular body. I’m okay. Safe. Her body was still tense, more surprised than frightened at her near accident.
Opening her eyes she saw his dark, wild expression. An expression she couldn’t read. Was he angry at her for some reason? Was he upset that Jill was over last night? She had every intention of talking to him about it this morning. She hadn’t done anything so serious a little communicating wouldn’t resolve it, surely. At least I hope not.
“Why are you—?”
Her voice broke off mid-sentence as his warm firm lips claimed hers. His kiss was fierce, punishing. Abruptly he pulled away and let her legs slide from his arms so her feet touched the floor. His body was tense. It wasn’t like she was burning down his house. She only burned the bacon and toast.
“What in God’s name were you doing standing on the counter?” he demanded.
When she opened her mouth to explain, he cut her off.
“You could have fallen and broken your neck.” His hands were on her upper arms, his fingers digging in firmly, causing her to wince at his touch.
She quickly went from feeling relaxed and safe to concerned, tears welling up in her eyes. “Why are you so upset?”
Drew’s eyes searched her face then traveled to where his hands held her firmly. He dropped them to his side.
Her arms were still red where he had held her. KJ’s voice trembled as she spoke. “I don’t know what I did to get you so angry.”
He reached his right hand out, this time gently touching her tender flesh. “I . . . I’m sorry, Katherine. When I saw you up there, so many things went through my head. My first thought was what if you fell? Then my fear became reality, and I lost it.”
“Nothing happened, Drew. I’m okay. Except for maybe a few bruises,” she said rubbing her arms that still stung slightly.
There was no denying the pain and shock she saw reflected in his eyes. “I’m sorry. Never before have I reacted in such a manner. It’s unacceptable.”
KJ wasn’t sure what to tell him. He was right. It shouldn’t have happened. What she did know is that it wasn’t anger that had determined his actions. It was fear. Did that mean his feelings were more than he had led her to believe? Surely not. He’s been forthright in making his stance on our relationship very clear. He doesn’t w
ant me for more than two weeks. But she knew she needed to clarify what she had seen in his expression. She wasn’t one to beat around the bush.
“Drew, can we talk?”
His only response was a slight nod as he stepped out of her way so she could go sit on the living room couch.
Once that were sitting, she had no idea where to start. Maybe it would have been easier if she fully understood her own feelings for him. KJ knew they surpassed simple sexual attraction. She cared deeply for him. She was not yet ready to call it love, but was it the beginning of love? How does one really know?
“What were you thinking when you grabbed my arms like that?” Her voice was soft, not accusing.
His forearms rested on his thighs, hands clenched tightly as though trying to desperately gain some form of control. He wasn’t looking at her as he spoke. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Drew. But I still need to understand why you held me so firmly.” She wasn’t going to back down. This was something they needed to clear up if they planned on moving forward with any type of relationship, or friendship for that matter.
“This is all new to me. I’m not one who sits and talks things out.”
I figured that out on my own. Perhaps his laughing and joking were a cover to avoid anything real. That didn’t fly with her.
“If you don’t want to talk to me about it then I think its best I pack and go home.” God, please talk. Don’t call my bluff.
When he didn’t speak, KJ started to get off the couch.
“The thought that you could have been hurt because I wasn’t here with you sent me over the edge. I didn’t even realize I was holding you, never mind so damn tight.”
KJ stopped and sat back down beside him. So he worries about me. What else?
“Were you scared I was going to sue you or something?” If he needed prodding to talk, she was going to give it to him.
Drew spun to face her with a look of shock on his face. “I thought I would lose you.”
He cares. With her right hand she covered his. “But you didn’t. You were there keeping me safe.” Putting her head on his shoulder she continued. “Like you have been doing since we met.” And I hope you continue doing.
He didn’t touch her. “Katherine, you are an amazing woman, and I . . . enjoy your company more than I can say. You deserve to be happy.”
She was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time, but she could feel an internal battle raging in him. Jill said he never brought women here. Maybe he had commitment issues? Was this not about him not wanting me, rather about not being sure he wants a serious relationship with any woman? Or does he believes he is incapable of one? At least some progress had been made through this crazy mess this morning. Drew might not know exactly how he feels, but at least she now felt this had the potential of being much more than a two-week love affair. You’re not even sure of your own feelings, so don’t push him for his. Take it one day and night at a time.
Before he could turn the tables onto her about her feelings, she decided to change the subject.
“I was in the middle of making you a surprise breakfast. As you saw when you entered, things didn’t go exactly as planned. First I burnt the toast and then the bacon. At this point I’m not sure I would even attempt drinking the coffee I made.”
He arched a brow. “I thought you liked to cook.”
“I love to, but today was a day I should have ordered breakfast in bed for us.”
Drew’s lips curled. “Now you’re talking.”
Standing up, KJ said, “Don’t even think about it. That kitchen is a mess, and trust me, if you don’t clean it right away, it will only be worse later.”
Despite attempting to step away, he got up and swept her easily into his arms.
“I promise I’ll take care of it later. Right now there is only one thing I’m hungry for.” His lips claimed hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer. Her tongue played with his as they kissed. I love kissing this man. This was exactly where she wanted to be. Enjoying physically what he was not yet able to voice. His tenderness spoke volumes. For now, this was all she needed. Tomorrow she’d consider asking for more.
Chapter Thirteen
‡
KJ hadn’t been sure what to expect when she had been invited to join them. Strippers, heavy drinking, and dancing maybe? That was not the case. The bachelorette party was more like a late-night dinner with the girls, filled with so much laughter she was surprised no one peed their pants.
For someone who had kept to herself for the past two years except for work, she was enjoying getting to know this interesting group of women. Each had her own story. They shared one common theme: all had overcome difficult struggles in life.
She knew Jill the best from when she’d come to Napa, but never would have guessed the journeys the others had been on. And yet they’d persevered in life and found happiness. KJ felt so fortunate to have shared this special occasion with them. Did her future hold such possibilities? Was Drew her prince charming or was she going to wake any moment and find it all just a lovely dream? God, I hope not. But, if it wasn’t to be there wasn’t anything she could do about it.
“You’re awfully quiet, KJ. Are you missing Drew?” Jill asked.
KJ hadn’t meant to be rude. This party was supposed to be all about Lizette. There was no way she would talk about her love life or whatever it was. With a forced smile she replied, “Just soaking in all the crazy stories you guys are telling.”
Jill shook her head. “Don’t let her fool you, ladies. KJ has it bad for Drew.”
How she wished she had more control over her body’s reaction. Her face burned with embarrassment, and she was unable to speak. Am I thirteen or thirty-two? Any hope the others would let Jill’s comment slide was quickly shattered as the guest of honor questioned her.
“How bad is bad, KJ?” Lizette winked.
That is what I am trying to figure out. KJ looked around the now quiet restaurant for anyone who could save her from this. Yes, Jill’s pros and cons list really helped her sort out some things, but that was only her feelings. It didn’t provide answers about what Drew was feeling. Saying the words out loud wasn’t going to make this any easier.
“Lizette, this party is about you and Jon, not Drew and me.”
Jill raised a hand in the group as though asking permission to go to the restroom. The other two looked at her, then gave their approving nod. Jill’s eyes glistened in excitement. Oh God, I’m in for it.
Everyone was watching her, waiting for her reaction to whatever was going to come out of Jill’s mouth next. Why did I agree to come?
“So, Miss O’Malley, last night at approximately eleven p.m., did you or did you not complete a pros and cons list?” Jill’s lips pursed trying to be a serious interrogator. She was anything but.
There really was no choice but to play along and give as little information as possible. Watching all those late night Law and Order episodes had prepared her well. Only answer the question asked. Don’t elaborate or it’s all over.
“I did.”
“And upon your review of such, were you able to determine your next course of action?” Jill’s lips curled as she tried to hold her composure. She was failing miserably.
If KJ wasn’t stressed out enough already, she was now.
“No.”
Jill could not hold her self-control any longer.
“KJ, you were writing like a mad woman when I left you last night. Don’t tell me the cons won. I won’t believe it. If you could’ve seen yourself as you were writing, you would understand. You love that man.”
“Easy, Jill,” Lizette said.
“Some things a person has to figure out for themselves,” Elaine added.
Jill leaned back in her chair, arms crossed in front of her but not taking her eyes off KJ. “You guys might be right, but my money is on another happily ever after.”
KJ averted her eyes, not wanting t
he truth to be revealed. You and me both.
“Oh geez.” Elaine, eyes wide with shock, said, as she rubbed her well-rounded belly.
KJ jumped up, went to her side, and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you in pain?”
Elaine let out a long exhale before answering. “Someone is getting anxious to come out and meet you all. Good thing the wedding is this weekend or I might not make it.”
KJ placed her hands on Elaine’s stomach and felt around. The baby was kicking up a storm and repositioning itself. Good. A healthy sign. Then she instinctively reached for her wrist and took her pulse. Once satisfied there wasn’t anything urgent to be concerned about, she smiled and went back to her seat.
“Thank you, KJ. It really is nice having you here with us. I hope we didn’t cross the line with the questions about you and Drew.”
Normally it would’ve been considered too pushy but somehow it only made her feel more accepted as a part of this group. I hadn’t realized how much I missed women friends to talk to. They spoke to her as only good friends would, and she welcomed it.
“I appreciate you guys thinking of me.” Her voice softened then became serious. “It’s not him. It’s me I’m unsure about.”
“You mean your feelings for him?” Lizette asked.
Those were becoming clearer each day. That was the problem. She knew without a doubt she was falling in love with him. Though he tried to hide the loving, caring man he was, she was beginning to see through the act. She couldn’t blame him as she was doing the same herself. She knew there were still scars from her past she needed to deal with and wasn’t sure if they ever would heal. Things had improved since Drew had come to Napa, but she knew they hadn’t vanished. Drew had yet to witness her screaming and crying from reoccurring nightmares. Nightmares she wished had only been bad dreams. Why would he want someone so broken when he could have any woman in the world?
“I have a lot of baggage.” If he was already unsure about relationships, there was no way he would actually want someone like me. Someone so irreparably damaged.
The Billionaire's Jackpot: Betting on You Series: Book Four Page 9