Blue Collar Blues

by Rosalyn McMillan

  “Ron better fix this shit, otherwise I’m taking it higher,” Luella said over her shoulder. “The A-team is bullshit. They shouldn’t get special treatment when the rest of us need overtime just as bad.” She was climbing the steps to Ron’s office, swinging her hips and bitching all the way.

  Valentino followed a few feet behind her, reaching down and picking up the hair as it continued to fall. He held a handful now. His cheeks bellowed out like barrels as he tried to control his laughter.

  Khan was following close behind, still trying to stop the confrontation from escalating. Khan felt nervous for her cousin; she knew how serious Valentino was about overtime. “Listen, y’all,” Khan broke in. “None of this is necessary.”

  Stopping at the top of the steps, Luella turned around to face Valentino and Khan. Khan kicked Tino, and he switched the handful of hair behind his back. But when they turned to look at Luella, they both froze in disbelief. Her face was slightly reddened, and her eyes were beginning to swell. They hadn’t realized Luella was crying. Her hair was wild and sticking up all over her head. She looked like a tigress ready for a fight. “Nobody takes my overtime,” she huffed, disappearing into Ron’s office.

  This is going to be fucked up. I can feel it coming. Damn.

  Just then Ron came out of his office. “Luella just told me about what’s going on,” he said accusingly. Before either Tino or Khan could explain, Ron said, “Tino, Luella’s going to work eight tomorrow.”

  “But Da—Ron. I haven’t missed a Saturday in six years.”

  Neither Khan nor Tino missed the smirk on Luella’s face.

  “Ron, I’m working tomorrow. Can Tino have my hours?” Khan offered.

  “No. Tino, you can take this up with Allister on Monday, and I don’t want to hear another damn word from either of you.”

  As pugnacious as a pit bull, Tino threw the handful of hair in Luella’s gloating face and stormed out of the room.

  Khan sat down for a moment to catch her breath, all the time thinking to herself, I don’t need this shit. It’s hard enough for me just being here—two old gray motherfuckers acting like kids. Let me get my ass out of here.

  R.C. had already given her enough high drama to last a lifetime.

  13

  __________

  Silhouetting her against the back wall, the headlights from a car parking in front of the motel made Luella’s body look exquisite. She was on her knees in a crouched position with her head tilted back, her huge breasts pointed proudly like an ad for implants. She had positioned herself over her lover’s mouth, and, looking down, she could see his tongue darting up and down, in and around her sex like a hypnotized pink snake.

  “Ron, baby,” she softly screamed. “I’m ready to come.”

  When she looked down at him masturbating himself, she reached back and replaced his hand with hers. Circling his penis with a tightening grip, she rotated slowly in practiced strokes, coaxing him to come. She felt Ron’s teeth tenderly biting her clitoris, signaling her as if they’d been screwing for years, until a final, surrealistic shudder passed through their bodies. The sensation lingered for a few blissful seconds, and Luella was overwhelmed with a sense of power.

  Ron rubbed a finger down the crack of her ass, then slapped it. “That was great.” He left the bed and poured himself a shot of Seagram’s gin.

  Luella lay back leisurely on the bed and assessed their night of lovemaking. She was sore, and she usually didn’t feel that way after having sex with him. But Ron hadn’t touched her in nearly a year. The last time, he’d had a problem. He hadn’t been able to get hard. Now, after his second orgasm, he still appeared to be rock solid.

  It can’t be a piss-hard.

  “Okay, Ron. We both know you ain’t Superman. You’ve done something with your dick. What is it?”

  “Nothing. What’s wrong? You ain’t been fucked good lately?”

  “Judging by your actions tonight, you haven’t been either.” She caught his smile and went to the table to join him. She unscrewed the cap of a diet Dr Pepper from the 7-Eleven bag they’d brought with them and took a long swig. “Mmm, that felt good. Now tell me, Ron. We’ve been friends a long time—what’s the deal with your dick?”

  His smile was cocky. There was a twinkle in his eye that hinted he was proud when he said, “I’ve got an inflatable penile prosthesis.” As he talked, he began to deflate it.

  When she looked down at his penis now, it somehow looked deformed. Luella couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. Then she asked, “Hey, can I try it?”

  At first he refused. But on further coaxing, he let her. Taking her hand in his, he guided it along the left testicle until she told him that she could feel a small, ridgelike ball. Luella jumped. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

  “Not a bit. It did for the first three weeks, then the pain went away. Anyway, the pain is subjective. Here,” he said, taking her hand. “Let me show you how first.” He held his penis in his left hand, and with his right thumb and fingers on each side of his testicle, squeezed the small ball until his erection grew to full size.

  When Luella tried it, her eyes grew wide with disbelief. Artificial or not, the thing felt damned good inside her.

  “How does it deflate? I thought I heard a sound before.”

  “No. It was your imagination. There’s a release bar right here . . . feel,” he said. Placing her hands on his balls again, he guided her until she felt the protruding bar just above the pump.

  “Does Ida enjoy it?”

  “We’re having the best sex of our married life,” he said with confidence. “As for the others . . . let’s say they think I’m John Holmes. They don’t know because it’s not visible. It’s entirely inside my body. If I hadn’t told you, you wouldn’t have known, either.”

  You should have kept your mouth shut; you might have stood a chance of getting another piece of pussy. “Isn’t it a bit vain to have that done?”

  “Positively. Just like the women who have breast enlargements. If the man and woman feel better about themselves, they’re more likely to give and receive greater pleasure.” He paused. “And judging by your actions tonight, I’d say you were extremely pleased.”

  Luella didn’t know what to say. On the one hand he was right. On the other, she was a little repulsed. She could only smile in response.

  “The doctors say that erectilely impaired men should opt for penile prosthesis as a last resort. This is the third one.”

  She finished her drink and reached down to touch it again. Turning it over, she probed every inch, like a whore examining a new trick’s dick. “Hmmm . . . I must say it’s interesting. What happened before? Did it break?”

  “No.” He laughed. “The first one caused a small infection. Once I got over that, I got a hematoma.”

  “Which is?”

  “A collection of blood in the incisional area.” He pointed to the spot. “See, right here.”

  “Damn, Ron. And you weren’t afraid to do this again?”

  She refilled his empty glass. “You know what kind of man I am. Without a steady piece of ass, I can’t keep my mind on my job.” He began massaging his penis as if she weren’t even in the room. “So, next I tried a different kind of implant; a vacuum erection device with a type of banding and medicines that have an aphrodisiac effect, with some kind of medicines like testosterone, yohimbine, isoxsuprine—”

  “Isox—yoh—what? What kind of shit is that?” Luella was feeling a chill and went back to the bed to cover up.

  “Shit that didn’t work.” He finished his drink and came to the bed to join her. “I was back to square one. Changed doctors and went back to the penile prosthesis.”

  “And you haven’t had any problems with this one?” She was praying that he didn’t think she had gotten back in the bed because she wanted to fuck again.

  “Well, because of the length of my penis”—he smiled—“I sometimes experience some degree of flexion when it’s erect. That means the tip sometimes r
aises and bends when I’m moving my hip or pelvis joints. Otherwise, it hasn’t given me any more problems.”

  She looked down at his penis. It looked six inches soft, and must be at least nine pumped up. “That shit must be pretty expensive.”

  “Damn right. First two cost me sixteen thousand bucks. This last one was fifteen grand alone.” He tapped his penis, sliding the skin back to expose its full length, and began to squeeze the pump casually to make it erect again. “But this baby has a lifetime replacement policy.”

  “Whew,” Luella whistled. “That’s an awfully expensive dick you wearing, brother.” She started to laugh again. She slung the sheets back, picked up her things, and headed toward the bathroom.

  But what she didn’t say out loud was how Ron’s condition made her think of her own: Before she was hired at Champion, she’d weighted two hundred and ninety-eight pounds. Getting close to Ron now seemed only to remind her of her own deformity.

  * * *

  The following Monday, Luella spotted Ron passing by their unit. She skipped over to him and began a casual conversation about the wrong stock on her machine, until she was sure that Tino saw them.

  Within Tino’s earshot, Luella said to Ron in a sultry voice, “Why don’t you meet me at the Filling Station Lounge after work?”

  Ron looked up at Tino. “I’m a married man, Luella,” he replied in a harsh tone. “I don’t go that way.”

  “Oh yeah? That’s not what you said the other day.”

  He reached inside his pocket, took out a Salem, and lit it. “Luella, let’s talk about this later. I’ve got business to attend to,” Ron said quickly and walked away.

  Luella sauntered over toward Tino, who was talking to another worker, telling a story and gesticulating effusively. Luella zeroed in on the lazy way Tino flexed his wrist. Her eyes scanned his clothes, tight pants, showing the bulge, and his obvious effeminate ways. She smiled and said, “Brother, I don’t know how I missed it before.” Her half-closed eyes lowered to his crotch. “Now . . . I . . . understand.”

  “What are you talking about, Luella?” Tino asked in a bored voice.

  “Uh-hm,” she said, nodding her head. “I think you may be one of those married men who sneak out at night with his penis pulled back and taped beneath his butt.” She paused, smiling. “I must be slipping. Don’t know how I ever missed it before.”

  Tino’s lips tightened. He took a step back and pushed his cigarettes into his back pocket. He neither denied nor acknowledged her accusation.

  “But you know what?” she continued. “I’d love to try it anyway. I’ve never slept with a he-she before. Probably be the best orgasm I’ll ever get. Come on, Tino, we can leave now. I’m getting all warm just thinking about showing you how a real woman can make you bust a blood vessel.”

  “Rumor around here is that cunts like you don’t come like normal women. I hear it comes out of your ass.”

  “One thing about rumors,” she said, turning to leave. “The one who started it probably enjoyed it most.”

  14

  __________

  Even though he’d asked her on short notice, Khan accepted Valentino’s invitation to dinner Saturday night. His wife, Sarah, prepared an excellent meal. Exceptionally shy, Sarah hardly said two words while Khan was there, but she seemed to enjoy the attention Khan paid to their beautiful baby boy, Jahvel. It was evident by the way Valentino and Sarah touched each other, anticipating each other, that they were deeply in love.

  After dinner, while Sarah prepared the baby for bed, Khan and Valentino found a moment to talk. She followed him downstairs to his small hobby room, where he repaired television sets. Khan could tell from the tension in his gestures that Tino had something on his mind.

  Tino handed Khan a diet Coke from the small refrigerator and unscrewed a Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill wine cooler for himself.

  “My mother’s been putting up with my dad’s other women for so many years! I don’t understand why she hasn’t divorced him. He’s given her plenty of grounds.”

  She grabbed the arm of the chair and seated herself slowly. “Haven’t they been together since Aunt Ida was fourteen years old?”

  “Yeah, and she’s fifty-three now.”

  “Sometimes I think she and your dad are more like brother and sister than husband and wife. How can you divorce your own family?”

  “Haven’t you heard? Kids are divorcing their parents these days. Anyway, my mother’s good-looking enough to get another man.”

  “You don’t get it, Tino.” Khan took a breath, then exhaled. “Your mother doesn’t want another man. Mama Pearl always told me that a marriage goes through three stages. First there’s lust, then love, then devotion. Your mother and father are in the third stage.”

  “Mother might excuse Dad’s other women, but if she ever found out about Luella, she’d shoot Dad’s balls off.”

  “Luella?” Khan’s voice was a whisper. “Uncle Ron’s screwing her?”

  Tino crossed his legs and clasped his hands in his lap. “Yeah. What a disgusting piece of shit. I heard that Luella also broke up Cheryl Rhodes’s marriage. All for overtime. Luella is a vulture.”

  Khan nodded. Who wouldn’t remember Cheryl? She planned and organized the huge Christmas party Champion held every year. No wonder the party had flopped last year. “Damn, that’s some shit. Cheryl is good people.”

  Khan just shook her head. The bickering between her cousin and Luella, then, went deeper than politics. “How’d you find out?” Khan asked quietly.

  “The guys I work with. I overheard her speaking to Dad.” His eyes flashed angrily around the room and back to Khan’s disturbed face. “Someone needs to stop her; all she does is cause trouble.”

  “Take it easy, Tino. I know Luella is impossible to deal with. But everyone is under so much pressure, now is not the time to seek revenge.”

  Tino was shaking his head, obviously not listening to her warnings.

  Khan rose to leave. “So am I going to see you and Sarah at the Fourth of July picnic next week?”

  “No fuckin’ way. I can barely stand to see my father’s face, never mind go to his house.”

  After Khan left that night, she suddenly felt overwhelmed by the pain and hostility within her own family. As always, at times like these she missed Mama Pearl and her calming wisdom.

  Khan drove through the silent darkness until she pulled into a parking space and dragged her tired body up to her condo. As she inserted her key in the door she heard a man coming down the steps from the condo at the end of the complex.

  She turned and froze. “Do I know you?” A snarl came across her face. She remembered the dreadlocks. “Wait. I’ve see you at the Bel-Aire Theater.”

  “Exactly.” He didn’t try to come closer. “We seem to have the—”

  Khan cut in. “Are you following me?”

  “No, no.” He held up both his hands in defense. “Look, I’m Buddy. My Aunt Viola lives here. We usually go to the movies together, but lately she’s been sick and I’ve been going alone.”

  “Sorry.” Khan relaxed. She knew the elderly woman was a friend of her aunt Ida’s and realized she hadn’t seen her lately.

  Buddy said, “It’s late. I better get going. See you around.”

  He’s got some nerve! What makes him think I want to see him again? Buddy didn’t wait for her to reply as he hopped into his car and sped off.

  As she entered her apartment, the telephone was ringing. Just as she picked up the phone, the line clicked off. He’ll call back, she thought to herself while stripping off her clothes and heading for the bedroom. The light on her answering machine was blinking. As she sat on the bed in bra and panties, she listened. “Khan. I’ve got to see you. Call me.” It was R.C.

  He wants to fuck me. I don’t think so. Blood, she thought as she turned on the shower jets, you ain’t hardly the Mack daddy you think you are.

  * * *

  Work the following week was strained. Khan kept a close
eye on Luella, Ron, and Tino, watching them like a rattlesnake ready to strike its prey. Allister asked, and Khan accepted, working twelve hours a day for the entire week. She couldn’t help but notice that Luella seemed to be purposefully inciting Valentino every chance she could get. Luella not only flirted shamelessly each time Ron came into the unit, but she also started mimicking Tino when he’d walk by. Khan felt that Luella was being cruel.

  Leaving the plant one day, Khan ran into her aunt Ida, who had always reminded Khan of Louise on the television show The Jeffersons because of the way she spoke without moving her lips.

  “Tino told me that you stopped by last weekend for dinner. Now you know I’m jealous. You come and give me a big hug.”

  “I’m sorry, Aunt Ida.” Khan hugged her back, and the serene smile on her aunt’s face reminded her of her Mama Pearl.

  “You ain’t been by the house since last July. You better be comin’ to our picnic this coming weekend. What you been into, child? Your uncle tells me that you and your friend have broken up.”

  She should have known that her uncle had seen the article in the papers about R.C.’s wedding. Why hadn’t he said anything? “Yes. It’s over.” Khan was instantly embarrassed. “But you look good, Aunt Ida,” she said brightly. “What’s your secret?”

  “Your uncle, honey.”

  Khan felt a pang of guilt. How would Aunt Ida feel if she knew Ron was sleeping around? And with Luella of all people. Is that what devotion meant? No matter what the other did, they’d remain together for a lifetime? Shit, it wasn’t fair.

  Later at home, Khan thought about how, as much as she had to let go of R.C., she hadn’t. As she fed her fish, she made a decision not to allow herself to even think about R.C. again. The hell with him.

  As the devil would have it, seconds after she’d made herself this promise, the phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Khan, it’s me. Please don’t hang up. Please. Just give me a minute. I’m begging you.”