by Ryan Michele
Buck should’ve given up the information on the phone. He didn’t. Now we have an even bigger advantage for the long run.
The door to the large cement building flings open, the music loud as hell. The lights are on but dimmed, and as we step in we can see why. There’s a party going on. This isn’t unusual for a motorcycle club. At Ravage, we have parties all the time too.
Except we don’t allow outsiders.
Not exactly what we had in mind when we planned the trip, but we’ll work with it.
After a few chin lifts, we’re escorted to the far corner of the room where a semi-circle booth is located, which seems strange to me, but whatever.
Buck sits with women on either side of him. He’s a big man with a build to match. There’s no doubt in my mind that Buck can handle himself. His wide smile comes up to us. “Nox, Green, take a seat.”
He whispers something to the girls, and they dart away. We then slide in.
“We doin’ this shit out here?” I ask, seeing all the bodies, therefore ears listening to what we say. That isn’t going to work.
“Let’s have a few drinks and catch up.”
“Not what we came for,” Green adds in, leaning back in the seat and crossing his arms over his chest. “Not the kind of men with the time to simply shoot the shit, Buck.”
Buck raises his hand, and a couple seconds later a beautifully striking woman steps up to the table and sets down a bottle of whiskey and three glasses.
Her long red hair is hard to miss, but so are the legs, tits, and ass. She has all of that in spades. The skirt and barely there shirt leave little to the imagination. It’s her eyes, though that catch me off guard.
Normally in our clubhouse the mommas are there because they want to be. They’re happy and excited to stay and provide their services as long as we protect them. It’s a win-win situation. Not that we have many mommas anymore considering only a few of us are single.
This woman’s eyes are void, empty, and there is not one drop of life in them. She smiles, but it is completely for show because her gaze is still the same. I could have a gun to her head and more than likely, she wouldn’t move.
For such a gorgeous woman, why is she so down? Why is there no light or spark? Where did it go?
She’s broken, and I read it in her depths. She hides it well. No one else seems to take notice of her. She blends. But underlying, she’s checked out.
And why the hell does she look familiar?
“Anything else Buck?” Her voice is honey dripping slowly off a spoon. Sweet and sensuous. One that would be sexy as fuck screaming my name when she comes.
“This is my sister, Carsyn,” Buck introduces, grabs Carsyn’s hand, and pulls her to him. He then plants a kiss on her lips, hard and rough. I wait for the shit show in front of me to end. It’s a painful sight to see her frozen in place and forced to take what he gives.
My stomach twists at the sight before me. This prick is fucking his sister? Knew he was a sick fuck, but didn’t know he lost all sense of reason. I want to hurl thinking of how fucked in the head someone must be to cross those kinds of lines.
As I watch the exchange, Carsyn doesn’t kiss him back. She holds herself steady, but she doesn’t initiate any moving or reciprocation. Buck pulls back, his fist coming up and landing smack dab on Carsyn’s cheek with a loud crack.
She screams in pain as her head flings to the side. Both Green and I jump from our seats as she stumbles. No way in fuck are we sitting there while this shit is going on. Anger boils over like lava from a volcano, and it takes every bit of my restraint not to lay Buck out.
“What the fuck was that?” I bark, moving over to the woman, who puts her arm out warding me away. It’s futile, because I’m going to make sure she’s okay.
First Buck kisses his sister and then punches her as if she were a man. The kicker is—no one in this room is even looking our way. It’s a telling sign. It’s like this is a normal occurrence that doesn’t warrant their attention. That pisses me off.
Buck scoots out of the seat, grabbing the woman by her long red hair and pulling her to him. “Fuckin’ bitch. You make a fool of me in front of my guests!” His rage causes the vein in his forehead to throb.
“Sorry, Buck. I wasn’t thinking.”
Buck grabs Carsyn’s arm, holding it so tight red forms around his handprints. She cringes and bites her lip, but says no more. Green reaches over to me, a hand on my shoulder. He can tell I’m about ready to burst and with as many people that are here, that could end very badly. Logically, I know not to get into Buck’s business, because it in no way affects my club or me.
Unfortunately, that’s the code in our world. If it’s not our business, we stand down. Except in Ravage, not one fucking brother would ever let shit like this fly. Women may get claimed, but they aren’t treated like toys to be played with and put on a shelf. My mother would never allow such behavior from any brother to any one woman in our presence. My father would take her back. We all know better. We’re not the kind of men like Buck and these boys who push their weight around like this.
The man inside is itching to take Buck out and show him what it’s like to be hit.
“Leave,” he orders her, then releases his grip. She stumbles back, but catches her footing. Carsyn then disappears in the crowd like smoke.
Buck sits down as if nothing happened.
I can’t stop myself from asking, “What in the hell was that?”
“My house, boys. What I do here is no concern to you.”
This is very true. Someone coming into Ravage and having an opinion on what we do wouldn’t fly. But fuck me. That’s his sister.
Even the thought of kissing Austyn like that makes me want to vomit repeatedly and cut out my tongue. What brother would do that shit?
My opinions don’t matter in this case, but I can’t help the rage that’s building inside of me. Part of me wants to beat the fuck out of him. The other part wants to slice his throat. Either way, right now, that isn’t happening.
Instead of sitting, I stand by the edge of the table. “Let’s talk. Privately. We got shit to do and don’t need to waste time.” Not to mention, we need to get the fuck out of here before I kill him with my bare hands.
Buck huffs a bit, but finally gets up, taking off down the hallway. As I follow, I notice Carsyn off in a small darkened nook by the bar area. She has a package of peas pressed to her face. She must feel me staring because she looks up, and our eyes connect. For a moment, maybe a millisecond, fire breathes in her gaze. One that wasn’t there only moments ago. I commit the glimpse of life to memory as I try to put the pieces of the puzzle in front of me together.
The void and emptiness she had before now blazes with life, hope. Carsyn… Carsyn. My mind wanders back… it couldn’t be her.
Could it?
She turns her head breaking the contact, and fuck if I don’t want her eyes back on me.
Buck opens a door and I take one more look in Carsyn’s direction, but she’s gone once again.
His office is nothing elaborate. A desk and two chairs on the opposite side. He motions for us to take a seat as he moves behind the desk and takes his own.
“What can I do for you boys?” Buck asks, leaning back and reclining the chair.
“Cut the shit,” I order, growing tired of the games.
I want to throttle this man and cut his dick off, not that he’d ever know it from my stoic expression; a skill I learned from my father. He’s so damn hard to read and I knew, being in Ravage, I’d need to conquer that as well.
It’s hard holding back the anger. The way he sits there not giving one single shit he punched his family; he hit his own sister. A woman is to be cherished not abused. It disgusts me. You don’t treat family like that.
“Right, you want info on the new shipment out of Sycamore. I’ve got it, but it’ll come at a price.” His smug fucking smile only pisses me off more. Green’s fists clench telling me he’s feeling the same. This fuck
er is alive because Ravage allows it. He’d best remember it.
Leaning forward in the chair, my stare doesn’t leave him, and the smart ass smile he has starts to fade. That’s right, fucker. You’re stepping over a line, and I won’t tolerate it.
“You don’t seem to get how this shit works, Buck. You tell us what we want to know, and you live. You don’t and I’ll fuckin’ gut you like a pig myself.”
He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Chill, man. Look, all I know is a guy by the name of Torrance McKay is runnin’ the show up near Sycamore. I know they’re pushin’ in some drugs, but word on the street is they’re shipping them to North Carolina. That’s all I’ve got.”
“You made us come all the way here for this shit?” Green bites out.
A satisfied smirk comes over his lips. “Wanted to see how badly you wanted the information.”
Two seconds and my gun is out and pointed at Buck’s face. Surprise crosses him, but he doesn’t back down. “You gonna kill me in my own house?”
“Keep sayin’ stupid shit and yeah.”
“That’s all I’ve got.”
“Then we’re gone.” The urge to pull the trigger rides me hard, but logistically in this situation, it’s better to get the fuck out. I put the gun behind my back. “Next time, just fuckin’ tell us over the phone or this won’t go nice.”
“Right.”
His arrogance pisses me off more. What an absolute piece of shit. He should be taken out and buried. Something is niggling me, though. He’s either hiding something or he’s involved with whatever this Torrance man is up to. Or maybe it’s Carsyn? Either way, I’ll figure it out and he’ll end up with a bullet to his face. My disdain for him just put Buck on my radar, somewhere he doesn’t want to be. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Torrance seems to have bought himself some trouble as well. He’s dabbling in one of our suppliers, and that shit doesn’t happen.
Fucker will pay.
2
Carsyn
This is stupid and a sure-fire way to piss off Buck more and get my ass beat. But I can’t let him go without seeing him one more time. I don’t even know his name, but I really don’t care. There is something familiar about him. Something I’m drawn to and can’t shake off.
When I walked up to the table, his broad shoulders were on display and the ink trailing his arm had me curious. Never had this happened before.
Ever.
None of the men here interest me in the slightest. If anything, I hate them—every damn one of them.
With the stranger, though, a peculiar pull came over me, and it was why I wasn’t thinking when Buck kissed me. His mere presence threw me off my game. It was a critical error on my end. Normally, I just do it the way he likes to get it over with, but this time my senses went haywire, which is not a good thing when it comes to Buck. The power of the man at the table caught me off guard.
Keeping on my toes with Buck has been my priority for the past nine years, and I just didn’t think. It was a moment that will come with swift punishment, of that I have no doubt. My cheek still throbs, but it’s nothing compared to what I’ve endured or what I will endure. His hit to my face was a warning of what’s to come later, when the strangers are away.
I’d rather be punched than anything else. Some scars never go away. Never heal. Never release you from their grip. They’re the kind not visible to the eye, but rather, that cover your soul and blacken it more by the day. The physical eventually heals, but the shit on the inside lingers, never releasing its hold.
The door slams shut, and I hear him before I see him. Standing in the shadows of the building, I carefully peek around the corner. Both men with Buck are talking in hushed tones, but their facial expressions tell me they’re pissed off. The one with the broad shoulders and tatted arm looks familiar, but I can’t place him. He’s not from this club though, because I would remember him.
Hearing his deep, sensual voice is arousing in a way I’ve never experienced. The actual tingles and throbbing comes in waves. It’s like being a teenager again. Like going back in time before… well, before my life crumbled.
Living here has been about survival. Never about any type of pleasure—ever.
My heel slips on a rock, and the sound of it is so damn loud. I move quickly, pressing my back to the concrete wall and closing my eyes tight. He can’t see me. He can’t see me.
“Hey.” The deep bark tells me who it is, and nerves flutter all around me. Slowly, I open my eyes only to jump back further into the wall as a gun is pointed directly at my face. His gaze bores into me as I shake off the surprise.
So what if he shot me. It would be better than the life here and dealing with Buck day in and day out. Really, at this point, I have nothing to lose. Buck and his crew won’t ever kill me, that’s for sure. Mystery guy either kills me and puts me out of my hell, or he lets me live and I deal with it. Just like every other day.
“Hey.” My voice comes out a bit raspy, making me clear my throat. Nerves spark in warning of getting caught.
The man puts his gun down and then puts it behind his back, his gaze softening just a touch. Those deep brown depths have swirls of gold near the irises standing out. “You okay?”
Sucking in a deep breath, I answer, “Of course.”
“Nox,” he introduces and then points to the other guy. “Green.” I only nod in response.
Nox. Nox? No. It can’t be. There’s no way. That can’t be him. The familiarity sinks in further, and I blink trying to wrap my head around it. The boy from my past, the boy who I knew before… It just can’t be him. Can it? Taking another look at his eyes it hits me, and I try to keep my breaths even.
“Wanna tell me what that was about in there?” Nox asks.
“Not really.”
A small smirk tips his lips, and the breath swooshes from my lungs. “At least there’s some life in ya.”
“Pardon?” My heart beats wildly in my chest. Everything spins in my mind; it’s hard to think clearly having him so close. Inhaling, I breathe him in. The smell is stronger than any drug, taking me higher than I’ve ever been before.
“You sure you’re okay? You’re gonna have a hardcore bruise.”
I shake off his concern. No one ever has concern for me. The only one who does is me. It’s been me for a very long time, and he really doesn’t mean it. I can’t fall for a trap. I won’t fall for a trap. “I’m fine.”
I bite my lip, needing to ask him, but fearing it at the same time. What if it really is him? And he saw me like this? Buck kissing me and then punching me. What a mess my life has turned into. But I have to know. I won’t be able to go back inside there and regret never finding out the truth.
“Lennox Cruz? Right?”
His eyes become sharp like knives digging into my soul. The anticipation of his answer has me wanting to bounce on my heels. My hands fidget and start to sweat. His intensity on me is different than Buck’s. His is a mixture of emotions, but I can’t tap all of them.
“Yeah. And you are?”
My entire body lights on fire.
My freshman year of high school we met and were acquaintances. I wouldn’t say friends because I didn’t have many of them. But everyone knew Nox. He was a force to be reckoned with even at fourteen.
I want to answer him but fear it at the same time. My life didn’t turn out anything like I’d planned, and to have him see me like this is a crush to my pride, what I have left of it. Hell, would he even recognize my name after all these years? I’m probably making more of this than it is.
“Carsyn Devero.” My voice is small and barely a whisper, just waiting for the dismissal of him not remembering me.
A wide smile comes across his face, knocking me for a loop. His smile completely transforms his face. One moment he’s scary as hell, the next—gorgeous. “I knew I recognized you.” There is this distinct Georgia drawl to his words that only makes my ears want to hear every word he speaks and never stop listening.
>
This should have me elated that he remembers someone like me, but inside I feel embarrassed that I let things in my life get this bad. Not only that, but for him to see my demise.
Something churns in my gut, this feeling that I can’t quite shake. Hell, I’m not even sure where it’s coming from, but it’s riding me hard. Somehow, it’s compelling me, and I have no idea why. I don’t owe anything to them. My stomach turns and churns. The urge to protect him hits me like a bulldozer. If this is a trap set up by Buck, then I’ll face the hell. Nox, he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy back then to align himself with a man like Buck. I may not know him now, but my gut screams to help him. Lennox Cruz doesn’t deserve to get sucked into the downright nasty world Buck’s in.
“Whatever he told you is a lie. I don’t know what you have going on with him, but don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth.”
Nox’s face turns stoic in a split second, so much so that I can’t get a read on him. Being in this house for so long usually that’s easy for me, reading how people are feeling around me and learning when the blows will come. It’s been a curse and a gift, but not with him. He’s a stone brick and with the darkness, it doesn’t help.
Why in the fuck did you just do that? You should’ve kept your damn mouth shut.
The churning turns to bile, and it rises as the paranoia sets in. I have to fight it down, but it’s difficult. That was a stupid move. I know better, I fucking know better. This is a critical error, and it could cost me more than my life. The punishments Buck gives out… I would rather be dead. “Don’t tell him I told you that. Please. I have to go.”
I turn on my heel to go in the back way, but a strong hand wraps around my wrist. His touch isn’t like Buck’s. No, Nox’s is gentle, yet firm. There will be no marks on my body from this, but the vibes coming off him are intense, halting my steps and making me pay attention.