Conflicted (Secrets and Lies)

by Koenig, M. M.

  "Come on damn it," I cried, slamming my hands against it.

  Just as I got the door open, Micah tugged me back by my ponytail. I screamed as he pulled me away from the door. He secured both of my arms and forced me up against the wall. His grip was so tight that I was afraid he would break one of them. His breaths were long and heavy with his rage at every corner of his face. I tried to pull my knees up to free myself but he brought his leg between them to pin my bottom half as well.

  "I told you I'd make you listen. You shouldn't have pushed me this far," he seethed.

  This wasn't Micah. He had a temper and could be irrational but he was never like this with me. The only time I remembered him ever being like this was when he was using drugs. I glanced at his eyes to confirm my suspicions. His eyes were like saucers for how dilated they appeared. He was on cocaine and that meant I was in more trouble than just having a pissed off ex in the house.

  "Micah please let me go. I promise I'll listen to what you have to say," I whimpered, trying to reason with any part of him that wasn't higher than a kite.

  He tried to focus his eyes. I squirmed but that made him squeeze tighter. I cried out as he started cutting off my circulation. The terror in my stomach ran icily throughout me.

  "Micah, you're hurting me. If you love me like you say you do, then you wouldn't hurt me this way. Please let me go," I pleaded.

  He loosened his grip but kept me cased to the wall. Micah cocked his head to the side as a pompous grin formed at corners of his mouth. He licked his lips as if he was about to kiss me. I turned away but he grabbed my chin forcing me to face him. With a firm grasp, he lowered his mouth to mine. Before our lips touched, Trey ripped him away. I slid to the ground shaking uncontrollably. Trey threw Micah up against the opposite wall. He swung his arm back and went in for a blow to the head. The crack of Micah's jaw echoed through the hall.

  "You fucking asshole. Once this week wasn't enough, you had to come back for another round. When are you going to learn Micah?" Trey bellowed, letting his fist make another crushing blow to Micah's side.

  Trey kept swinging at Micah like he was a punching bag. The crack of Micah's ribs brought me out of my state of shock. Trey would kill Micah if I didn't stop him.

  "Trey stop!" I cried.

  Micah hunched over clutching his head and passed out. Trey glanced at me in confusion.

  "Are you serious Mia? I come home to see you pinned up against the wall and you want me to stop kicking his ass for doing that to you!"

  He raised his arm again to swing at Micah but I tugged on his arm to stop him. He pulled away to look at me. The fear, the panic, the pain, the hatred, the disgust, the sadness, the love, it all ran through me like a freight train. I walked into Trey's chest and wrapped my arms around him to remain upright. I glanced at him with tears in my eyes.

  "Trey, it's not the Micah we know. He's using again," I whispered.

  He stood frozen for a moment then pulled me closer and draped his arms around me. Trey let me get out the sobs that had built in my chest. When I'd calmed down some, he let go and we stared at Micah who was out cold on the floor.

  "How do you know he's using again?" Trey asked.

  I sniffed. "He broke in here in a rage. He was forceful with me. But mostly, it was his eyes. I remember what he was like before and it hit me after I got close enough to see his eyes."

  "We should call the cops Mia. What he did tonight is enough to get a restraining order."

  "If I truly want to go down that road, I'll file one. I just want to get him out of here. You should call his mom and let her know that he's using again. He doesn't have us to help him so someone that cares about him should know."

  "Why do you care what happens to him?" Trey questioned, exasperated.

  "I don't but I'm not going to ignore something like this either. Could you live with yourself if he ended up dying because he was using again?" I countered, exhausted.

  "Of course not but I'm surprised you give a damn."

  Trey stared at me in utter shock. I looked away from scrutiny behind his eyes.

  "I may hate him but I have to help him. I know how bad it will get if he keeps using. I'm angry not inhumane," I admitted.

  It confused me as much as Trey but everything inside of me worried for Micah. I walked that path with him once already. He almost died because he had no control over it. It nearly destroyed him, his family, and us. I'd never forgive myself if my own hatred led to his death. I refused to let him have that over me so taking the high road tonight seemed like the best option.

  Trey crouched down to slap Micah awake. The blows to the head seemed to sober some sense into him. He got up with more focus in his eyes so he had to be coming down. Micah glanced at me then at Trey. His eyes drifted to the wall behind me. Micah looked me in the eyes as shame filled his features. I looked away from the apology that he begged to give me by the sorrow in his eyes. Trey shoved him down the stairs. I slumped to the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. I shuddered at the thought of what Micah could've done to me. I longed for the good old days when things weren't so life and death. My life at work was dangerous and now my life at home stood a chance to match it. Trey came back upstairs and slid down next to me.

  "I'm glad you came home," I whispered.

  "Me too," Trey breathed, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

  We may have our differences on almost everything but we shared a bond that was different from any of our other friendships. It was a bond built in our childhood that would be there forever. We sat in silence for a few more minutes. Trey got up and pulled me with him. He hugged me then went to his bedroom. My movie was a thought of the past and I did the same thing wanting nothing more than to end this night.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The weekend passed without any further incidents. Trey and I buried what happened on Friday. Neither one of us wanted to relive that ugliness so we kept it between the two of us. I was happy to know that Micah's touch had no effect on me. However, Friday night might not have been the best time to make a final call on that either. I doubted anyone would have felt anything under those circumstances.

  I settled into the office early Monday morning. It was a strange day with no meetings so the day was dragging for me. I accomplished all of my work before ten. This had promise to be the longest day ever. I was staring at the same email but my mind was focusing more on pushing Micah out of my head. When Ethan's voice rang in my ears, I almost fell out of my seat.

  "I guess that pencil just had it coming."

  I glanced up to see Ethan standing a few feet from my desk. My heart rate sped up and my cheeks turned crimson. I really needed to get a hold of my physical reactions around him. It was embarrassing. He sauntered over to me with his hands in his pockets.

  "Huh?" I stammered.

  Ethan flashed his dimples as he pointed to my hand. "The pencil. You just snapped it in half."

  I looked at my hand and the pencil was indeed in two pieces.

  "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that something is bothering you again."

  Shit. I really am off.

  Usually, I sensed his presence. If I ever figured out how to turn that switch off, I'd be eternally grateful. Ethan cocked an eyebrow as he took a seat at the edge of my desk.

  "I'm fine. I was...umm...reading this correspondence," I stuttered.

  Ethan rolled his eyes. "The email you have been sitting on for the last twenty minutes is an advertisement for paper. Do you want to try again?"

  He was using that tone that bordered between sexy and intimidating. I shook my head in confusion. Last week Ethan grilled me and got pissed at my attitude. Now he was the picture of concern. My mind started racing in time with my heart as I tried to figure out the mystery behind him. He kept a curious eye on me as I continued to fidget under his hypnotic presence.

  "Ethan, you've known me for a very short time. How could you possibly know that something is bothering me?" I questioned, batting my eyelash
es like a damn schoolgirl.

  Yea, I'm embarrassed at my actions but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  "I know when something is bothering you. Your eyes become deeper and you pull your eyebrows in when it is something that is upsetting you. It was all over your face when I walked in. I was wondering where your next thought was going to go and then you answered it by snapping your pencil. I spoke up so that the stapler didn't see an untimely end," Ethan replied, flaunting those damn dimples again.

  His observations made my heart thump even harder. It was troubling on so many levels that he could read me as well as he just did.

  "I apologize for my wandering mind. Is there anything that I can do for you?"

  "I have something very pressing to take care of now," he stated with a twinkle in his eye.

  Given his proximity along with the sparkle behind his eyes, my lower half became damp and my breathing picked up. My body did the speaking with my sexed up feelings for him.

  "What do you need to take care of?"

  "It's clear that you have a lot on your mind. Let's go take care of it before it gets out of hand. We have a big proposal coming up. The last thing we need is a team member off in la la land during it," he said still clearly amused by me.

  "I can't leave work. Connor will flip out if I just leave not to mention what anyone else would think. Besides, I'm not going to tell you what's on my mind. It's not part of my job description to share my every thought with you," I snapped.

  Good grief Mia! Stop lashing out at him! He's going to can your ass if you keep it up.

  Ethan leaned closer to me narrowing his eyes. The glimmer behind them vanished. "I'll take care of them. I'm offering you an out for today. You seem to need a distraction."

  I gulped. "What kind of distraction?"

  My mind was begging me to retreat while my body pressed forward not giving a damn about why this was a bad idea.

  Seriously, what is wrong with me?

  His eyes softened as he asked, "Do you trust me?"

  My words abandoned me so I nodded. I did trust parts of him. He cocked his head to the side trying to determine if I was telling the truth. After a few minutes of unabashed staring, I gave him a subtle smile. Ethan shook his head before a tender smile stretched across his face.

  "I'm going to take you somewhere that will help to ease whatever is bothering you."

  I nodded again. It exhausted me to continue fighting the feelings I had around him.

  "Let me go talk to Connor. I'll let him know that I'm taking you out on assignment. Wrap up whatever you need to address yet and meet me in the parking lot in twenty minutes."

  As hard as Ethan was trying to be casual, his face gave him away. It thrilled him that I agreed to leave with him. I exited out of things and tried to be invisible when leaving floor. While I waited outside for Ethan, my thoughts drifted to my unexplainable attraction to him.

  My raging hormones were throwing a dance party at the idea of being with him away from work. My brain kept screaming that I was insane. It demanded for me to back out of this adventure right now. I rationalized that this would be my chance to show him my true colors. I hoped that my bitchiness would come out to play, he'd grow tired of me, and our intense vibe would fade away.

  It was out of character for me to blow off my responsibilities. Frankly, I didn't have the heart to care. The best part about skipping out of work and spending the day with Ethan was that I had an escape from Micah, Harrison, and my life overall. It was like the land of make-believe that we all loved as children. This was my chance at having a day where my problems ceased to exist while I spent time with a person that I couldn't have in real life.

  I was beginning to wonder what was taking Ethan so long when a glamorous car stopped next to me. His face appeared after he rolled down window. There would be no way to know it was Ethan if he left it up. The tinted windows were so dark that they were almost black. My jaw dropped at the sight. His car was like the king of all BMW vehicles. Ethan slid down his shades while laughing at me. He leaned out the window with a cocky smile.

  "Do you plan on getting in or would you rather keep your mouth open until you're standing in your own puddle of drool?"

  I rolled my eyes. "If I didn't work for you, I'd have a colorful come back. Since I do work for you, I'll keep my filter on."

  This car just screamed...well it screamed hot, sexy and dangerous...and right now I wanted to sign up for all three. Once I was inside the car, Ethan headed towards the interstate. This car was amazing but watching him drive it shot all sorts of hot feelings through me. I should've known that the sexual tension between us would amplify. It was freaking palpable now.

  "You don't have to keep your filter on with me," Ethan remarked.

  I glanced over as his smile went from charming to downright sexy. He was hot in this car and he knew it. I couldn't ignore my erratic pulse or the scorching burn between my legs. It was like the guy had a how to book for my body but refused to share just how well he knew how to press all my buttons.

  God, help me. I agreed to spend the whole afternoon with him.

  I smirked. "When I don't have a filter on, shit just tends to fly out of my mouth so consider yourself warned."

  Ethan chuckled. "I'm looking forward to it."

  I glanced out the window trying to figure out where we were going. The silhouettes of suburbs as we flew down the interstate were not helpful in making that determination. "Where are we going?"

  He took his eyes off the road and turned towards me while tapping his nose.

  "Seriously, you aren't going to tell me. Isn't this like kidnapping?" I whined.

  Ethan casually lowered his shades with mischievousness in his exposed eyes. "It's not kidnapping when you accept an invitation to spend an afternoon with someone. It's kind of like that saying. You can't rape the willing."

  I gasped in shock.

  What the hell does that mean?

  Ethan howled with laughter. Butterflies flapped across my stomach while the rest of me grew even more aroused. Ethan took off his shades and secured them in the visor above him.

  "You should see your face right now. It's priceless. Don't take what I said out of context. All I'm trying to point out is that you accepted this invitation. You didn't seem too interested in what it meant when you got in the car so I think I'll keep it a secret."

  I let out an agitated sigh and that increased the pleasure in his eyes.

  "I'm going to enjoy watching your reaction when we get there," Ethan added.

  "Glad, I entertain you. I knew I served a purpose at the office," I said wryly.

  His head snapped in my direction with less amusement than seconds ago. "Oh, you do much more than entertain us. You're doing very well with the work assigned to you. It leads me to my next question. Do you enjoy working for us?"

  "I really do like working there. Everyone is great," I replied quickly.

  "So it isn't your job that is causing you to be so...withdrawn."

  I gazed out the window as the pain in my chest started to grow. "Can we not talk about it? I'm very sorry that I've been so transparent."

  I turned my head to him with hope that he understood. There was concern in his eyes as he watched me. An awkward silence descended over the car. I started to think of something to say that would drive this conversation back to him. "How have you been able to become as successful as you are at your age? It's quite impressive," I said quietly.

  Ethan drummed his fingers along the steering wheel. His body stiffened and it was clear that this particular subject was touchy for him. "I'm sure you have your speculations seeing as it's a family company. Everyone does. I started shortly after turning sixteen and worked my way up. I graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in business and earned a masters in marketing. I went to school while working for my father's company. "

  My jaw fell forcing me to snap it shut. "How the hell is that even possible?"

  Shit. Not what I wanted to v
erbalize.

  Ethan loosened up a little with my candor. "I'm guessing that this is you without your filter. I like it. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it."

  "I didn't mean that it's impossible. It's remarkable. I'm sure it came at plenty of self-sacrifice. I don't think I could've measured up to that level of excellence," I admitted.

  His happiness faded and his eyes became distant. He focused on the road. "I guess you could say it's like that old saying. Work hard - play hard. From the looks of it, you know how to do both. You seem like a person that would have a full social calendar. It's also clear that you have a disciplined work ethic."

  Before he could jump on anything else, I went to turn on the radio but stopped due to the complexity of his dashboard. I was looking at so many buttons that touching the wrong one might just result in ejecting me from the vehicle. I stared for a while because Ethan had to clear this throat to get my attention. I gazed over to find his lips curled into a smug smirk.

  Damn him and that smirk.

  "What?" I asked petulantly.

  "Do you need help to turn on the radio? I'm assuming that's what has your mind in overdrive. That poor hamster running up there to keep those thoughts rolling must be ready to collapse for how hard you're thinking right now," Ethan teased.

  Even when he was making me the butt of his jokes, he was sexy. I tried to contain the giggle fighting to the surface but it slipped through me causing him to grin even wider.

  "Yes, I'm trying to turn on the radio. Yes, I'm confused because there is more buttons and gadgets in here than the fricken space shuttle. Yes, my hamster has become over worked. His name is Larry and he's used to his 8-5 schedule. He thought he was getting the afternoon off too and now I've just put him into overdrive," I retorted.

  Ethan howled with laughter. "I love it. Finally, a woman who knows how to take a joke, poke fun at herself, and throw out a few zingers of her own. I must say, without your filter, you are a different person."

  "You have no idea," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Can you turn on the radio now?"