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Page 39
I’d never craved touch like that before.
He confused me. There was still the old familiar warning bells ringing in my head every time he came close, still the trickle of fear in my belly. Those reactions had been there so long that I didn’t feel right unless they were there—they were my normal. But there were other things, too, like the desire to taste his kiss again.
I gestured over my shoulder. “I should go take a shower.”
He nodded, but neither of us moved. He took a tentative step forward, pausing uncertainly a few feet in front of me.
“Would you like to kiss me?” I asked, my voice strangely quiet.
He nodded, relief relaxing the muscles of his face. “I would.”
That fear in my belly ratcheted up, filling my constricted stomach with ice water. But I didn’t move away when he slowly approached me.
“Have you been with anyone since…?”
I shook my head.
“Ever kissed anyone?”
“Just you. And a few pecks from my mom, but I don’t suppose those count.”
I was nervous. I think he was, too.
He touched my face, his fingertips just brushing the curve of my jaw. I closed my eyes, the pleasure that rushed down my spine enough to make my knees grow a little weak.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered softly.
That pulled me out of the moment. My eyes snapped open and I turned my head, pulling away from his touch. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying.”
I started to shake my head, but he took my jaw in his hands and forced me to look up at him.
“You are beautiful. You may not believe it, but I do.”
“I’m plain. Common.”
“Not to me.”
My lips parted as I prepared to argue again, but he stopped me by pressing his lips against mine. For a brief second, that sense of suffocation rushed over me. But then the familiar taste of him washed over the tip of my tongue and the need it woke reduced the panic. It didn’t disappear, but it reduced enough that I was okay with his hand sliding over my jaw and into my hair.
I could feel his restraint, knew he was holding back. His kiss was gentle, his hands soft. He was doing all he could to help me feel safe. I couldn’t begin to express how deeply I appreciated that.
I stepped into him, pressed my hands against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding under my hand, could feel his breaths coming in quick gasps. Pleasure rushed up my spine, tingling almost painfully in my lower back. I wanted to respond to his kiss, to offer him just a little of what he was giving me. I once practiced kissing my teddy bear, but I’d not had any experience with a real person. I wasn’t sure what to do but to repeat his movements.
That seemed to be okay. He grunted softly when my tongue brushed the roof of his mouth.
He stepped back a moment later. I tangled my fingers in his shirt, tried to keep him from moving away.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said breathlessly.
“Why’d you stop?”
He laughed softly, his fingers tracing the curve of my jaw. “I had to stop before I couldn’t.”
I blushed, the idea that he might find himself incapable of stopping both frightening and thrilling. I looked up at him, my eyes wide with curiosity.
“Are you teasing me?”
He groaned. “No. I wouldn’t do that.”
“You really find me...”
“Irresistible? Definitely.”
I blushed, my eyes dropping to the floor. Again that struggle between fear and excitement rushed over me. Boone lifted my jaw, his eyes warm as they moved over my face.
“If it were up to me, I’d stand here and kiss you all day.”
I smiled shyly, that shiver of pleasure rushing through me again. My eyes moved up to his. “You scare the shit out of me.”
“I know.”
“But in a good way.” I slid my hand over his chest. “You just…you have to give me time.”
“I know.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’m okay with that.”
I stepped back, my face burning. “I should…” I gestured over my shoulder. “I have to go to work.”
He watched me stumble out of the room, an amused smile on his lips. I wanted to laugh and scream all at the same time. Alone, in the shower, my hands moving over my scars, the laughter slowly died. How long would he be willing to wait? What if I could never give him what he wanted?
It was a real possibility I’d never be able to do more than share a few kisses. Would he be content with that?
I didn’t think so. He was a gigolo. He was used to getting what he wanted. It wouldn’t take long for him to get bored.
I dressed slowly, pulling on jeans and a light sweater, the familiar comfort of hiding behind conservative clothing only underscoring the realization that I wasn’t like other women. The idea of intimacy paralyzed me. I would never be able to approach sex casually.
He understood better than anyone I’d met before. But would that translate into patience?
A new fear settled in my chest. Like there wasn’t enough already.
Chapter 12
Boone
She rushed up to me, her lips sticky with her lip gloss as she stole a kiss. I pressed my hands into her shoulders, keeping her at something of a distance, but not enough to alert her to the fact that I wasn’t interested in her touch anymore.
“Where were you last night?”
I moved around her and tossed my room key on the bed. “With her.”
“Then you got in?” She laughed. “I knew if anyone could do it, it was you, Boone.”
I dropped into a chair and studied her. “That’s why you brought me in on this, right?”
“They chose you. But I knew you could do it.”
Elizabeth came over and climbed onto my lap, her hands moving over my chest, up along my throat. For a second, I wasn’t sure if she was going to kiss me or choke me. I’m not sure she was, either.
“She trusts you?”
“Of course.”
“Did you give her the line about wanting to protect those little girls? Tell her that the bad guys were going to take you down unless she agreed to work with you without telling anyone?”
“She bought it all.”
She laughed, tossing her long hair over her shoulders in a gesture she’d perfected over the years. I watched her, wondering why she felt the need to play her games with me. Elizabeth and I had known each other for years, even ran a few scams together. I knew her better than probably anyone else in her life. This manipulation bothered me.
“You don’t know who these people are, do you, Elizabeth?”
“I told you, I never even met anyone. I just got the files in my mailbox one day. And the phone calls.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little odd? Wouldn’t they want to make their threats a little clearer?”
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “A phone call really isn’t that scary.”
“Yeah, well, the files they left in my mailbox were. They know things about me, Boone.” She actually paled a little. But was it an honest look, or one she’d perfected after years of cheating old men out of their hard earned money? “I’m not really eager to go to jail. Are you?”
“No.” I slipped my hands up her sides, tugging her closer to me. “I’d just feel better if I knew who these people were, if I knew they were serious in their threats.”
“I doubt they went to all the trouble of doing the necessary research if they weren’t determined to use it.” Elizabeth ran her thin fingers through my hair, a smile on her sticky lips. “Do you like her? Does she do it for you, Boone?”
“What?”
“I saw you with her that night, saw the way you were looking at her in the bar. You don’t usually get that into your marks.”
“She’s just another job.”
“Is she? You were pretty worked up when you came back to the ho
tel that night. I think that night we had the best sex ever.” Her smile widened. “Not that I’m complaining, of course.”
I lifted her off of my lap and stood. My duffle was in the closet along with a couple of shirts hanging there. I grabbed them and began packing.
“What are you doing?”
“She wants me to stay with her for a few days. She’s worried.”
“About what?”
I glanced over at her. “That the bad guys will figure out we’re working together.”
Her eyebrows rose. “You really laid it on thick, didn’t you?”
“She believed every word I said.”
She laughed under her breath, her eyes dancing with delight. “What a stupid bitch! Are all the women at Gray Wolf that dumb?”
I shrugged. “I have no way of knowing. She’s the only one I’ve talked to.”
“That bitch Joss Matthews is a fucking piece of work,” she muttered, crossing to the dresser to retrieve an abandoned bottle of water. “Everything they told me about her is true.”
“Why are they after these people, anyway?”
She shook her head. “I have no idea. But I’m guessing someone wants that woman to pay for something big.”
I glanced at her, caught by the intense anger she was unable to hide in her voice.
“You know something more, don’t you?”
She paused to take a long swallow from her water. When her eyes settled on me again they were lacking any emotion at all. Her expression was tight. Careful.
She did know something.
“You’re too curious about things that have nothing to do with you. You know the plan. Just follow through.”
I inclined my head. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Aw, don’t be mad at me, baby.”
She came over and took my face in her hands, her palms cold from the water bottle. I tried to ignore her for a second, but she tugged me against her, her supple body too erotic to resist. I kissed her, drawing her even closer to me with a hand on the small of her back. My body began to respond to her touch despite myself, despite my doubts about her honesty. But, again, in our line of work, how often was anyone truly honest?
“I have to go,” I said after a moment, tugging her hands away from me.
“She’s at work. You have time.”
“She monitors the cameras at her place all day. She’ll know all comings and goings.”
“Weirdo.” She sighed. “Alright. But keep me informed. They want information as soon as you can get it.”
“I will.”
I shoved the last of my things into my duffle and headed for the door.
“Don’t get carried away with this one, Boone. She’s still just a mark no matter what her story might be.”
“Have I ever given you the idea that I’m less than professional?”
That sexy smile was back on her lips. “Only with me.”
I walked away without further comment. But I was deeply bothered by what I could see she wasn’t telling me. How well did I really know Elizabeth? Was she playing a scam on me?
It wouldn’t be the first time she’d tried to get one over on me. That time in Florida…the only reason I didn’t walk away empty handed was because I’d seen through her lies. But this felt different. This wasn’t a simple scam and it wasn’t just a little bit of money at stake here. There were lives at stake. What did she know about the Matthews that I didn’t?
Who was pulling her strings?
Was anyone even pulling her strings?
I had a terrible feeling about this game, but I was in too deep to walk away now.
Chapter 13
Erin
I leaned against the rough brick wall and watched McKelty study the page of her dystopian novel, her eyes moving slowly over the page as she lifted a sandwich to her mouth. She nearly missed and spilled the ham all over her white blouse, but managed to find her lips at the last second. The book wasn’t school issued and she really shouldn’t have had it on school property according to the guidelines her mother had given each of us working this shift, but I didn’t see the harm in it. Apparently none of my colleagues did, either, because none had made an attempt to take it from her.
I was deep into the Harry Potter series when I was her age. That was still three years before Twilight and the vampire hysteria that followed. And several more years before Hunger Games. But McKelty was beyond those. She was reading something that was between those dystopian things and some sort of twisted fairy tale retelling. She talked about it in the car that morning, much to my surprise. I supposed that meant I was forgiven for embarrassing her at the mall yesterday.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I tugged it out, pulling up the security feed from my house that had triggered the alarm. Boone, using the key I’d given him, was letting himself in through the front door. I watched as he punched in the code I’d also given him before setting his bag on the floor and turning to face the camera. They were small cameras, practically hidden in the standard structure of the ceiling, but he’d still managed to locate it. He waved, a little smile on his full lips.
He knew I was watching, knew I’d get the alarm.
Had he made the same assumption yesterday?
Apart from him, I found myself wondering why he’d broken into my house. Was he only trying to prove something? Or was there something more to his motives?
I thought maybe it was the fear that had been planted deep in my subconscious the night those men dragged me into their car and took me to that abandoned farmhouse, but I couldn’t fight the doubt that continuously tried to wriggle its little head with each and every thing Boone told me. He was a con artist, after all, a gigolo. He made a living tricking people. Was he playing a game with me, too?
I brushed the video feed off the screen of my phone and opened the internet. I’d already done a brief search on the name Elizabeth Tanner, but found nothing. I would try again when I got home tonight. Boone would be there to give me any information I might need, but I wasn’t hopeful. She was a con artist, too. The possibility of Elizabeth Tanner being her real name was slim.
But I searched again, just the same.
“Hey,” McKelty said, knocking her elbow into me as she came by, “you’re supposed to follow me, aren’t you?”
I looked up. The bell had rung and the students were on their way back into class. I turned off the phone and shoved it into my pocket, following her to her history class.
“When’s your mom due back?”
McKelty shrugged. “Who knows if she’s even coming back?”
***
Carrington was in the front yard chasing Aidan around, a football tucked under her arm, when we pulled into the driveway. McKelty immediately jumped out of the car and gave chase, too, catching her sister and fake-slamming her to the ground. But instead of tears, I could hear laughter as McKelty found all of Aidan’s best tickle spots and tortured her there in front of the entire neighborhood.
“How’d she do today?” Carrington asked, moving up beside me as I stepped out of the car.
“She’s incredibly smart. If she paid more attention in class, she could probably graduate a year ahead of her peers.”
Carrington beamed. “She is. Always has been.” He glanced at me and I thought, here it comes. He’s going to tell me she complained about the scene I made in the mall and he’s going to want to know what it was about. But that’s not what came out of his mouth. “She likes you,” he said instead.
I was taken aback. It’d been a long time since I’d heard those words directed at me.
“Don’t look so shocked. You’re a likable person, Erin.”
“Am I?”
“A little aloof. Detached. But when you engage, you engage completely.”
I lowered my head, hiding the blush that burned there. “Thank you, Mr. Matthews.”
He chuckled softly. “It wasn’t meant as a compliment. It was more of an observation.” He was studying his daughters, but he seemed to be thin
king hard about me. “Joss told me there was something dark in your background. She thought it made you an excellent operative, but she worried you would struggle with the girls. But you’ve done quite well with them. They both like you.”
“I like them, too.”
He nodded. “That’s the only saving grace of this whole nightmare. At least all of you have some sort of stake in this because Joss is your boss. It’s not like it would be with some generic security firm who didn’t know us from Adam.”
“I’m sorry your family has to have us around, but I’m glad to get to know your girls.”
He touched my hand and it took all I had to keep from jerking away.
“Thank you, Erin,” he said softly before rushing off to join in on the fun with his girls.
My heart was pounding as I nodded to Tony and climbed back into the car, needing to get away from there as quickly as possible. I was only four or five blocks away when I had to pull over and concentrate on my breathing. I was going to hyperventilate.
Panic attack.
I closed my eyes, tears burning the back of my throat. It’d been a long time, but the symptoms were familiar. Shortness of breath, tightness in my chest. Pain everywhere. And it wasn’t stopping.
My hands shook as I tugged my phone out of my pocket, intent on calling my mother. She’d always been the one to talk me through these. It was a nightmare, the first weeks of boot camp. I couldn’t call her, couldn’t reach for that familiar lifeline when the panic attacks happened. And they happened a lot those days. But I learned to deal with them, learned to put my fear into a box and hide it under the punishment I was enduring in physical training, the knowledge I was gaining both on the training fields and in the classroom. After a while, I learned how to stop these attacks before they even happened.
This one came out of the blue and it was especially jarring because it had been so long since the last one.
The phone fell and I couldn’t see it let alone find it. I leaned into the steering wheel and closed my eyes again, praying for God to make it stop.