Blind Faith (Shattered Lives, Book Four)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  A tilt to his head, he closed his brilliant, emerald eyes. When their lips finally connected, passion burst through Cora. His lips were soft and cool. His breath sent a shiver throughout her body, raising goosebumps over every inch.

  When Gunther moved away, she was about to protest until she realized where he was heading. With precision, he exhaled near her ear, sending the nerves in her body into another frenzied dance. He kissed down her neck and nipped at her collarbone. She let out a contented sigh, truly enjoying the sensations Gunther was giving.

  He ran his powerful hands down her sides, feeling her soft curves, and kissed his way up the other side of her neck, making his way back to her wanton lips, covering them with his.

  When Gunther broke away for a breath, Cora gazed at his lap, his jeans straining against his arousal. There was no doubt he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

  A wild stirring fired deep within her core. “More, Gunther. Kiss me more.” He groaned as she sat forward, pressing her lips to his. Kissing her over and over again, he finally pulled away, leaving them both breathless.

  Gunther rested his palm on the side of her face. His vision blurred and, for a brief moment, it was Quinn before him. Blinking a few times, Cora came back into focus. He gazed into her eyes—her lips parted, little pants of air tickling his face—unsure of how far she would let him go…or how far he should go. One thing was certain, though. He needed the sexual contact.

  Cora nodded, answering the lusty question in his eyes. He wanted to bed her, and she wanted him to.

  He pulled off his t-shirt, allowing her to run her hands down his muscular shoulders to his abs. His breath hitched as she traced her fingers around his lower abdomen, following the lines of his tattoo. She stole another glance at the taut zipper, wanting to touch Gunther where he showed his need the most. She bit her bottom lip in an effort to control the urge.

  Swiftly, Gunther framed Cora’s face with his hands, pulling her close and finding her lips again. He released a loud groan over the passionate kisses being exchanged. Moving her to the floor, he continued to kiss her while peeling off her fitted polo. With no hesitation, he unhooked her bra, tossing it aside.

  Gunther sat back and looked at her nearly naked state, soaking her in. It wasn’t Quinn, but she would do for the time being.

  Cora lay down as he rested against the couch. Her hands roamed around her body, touching, feeling, tantalizing him with the visual.

  “Come here, you wicked bird,” Gunther murmured.

  He pulled her up so she straddled his lap. A hiss pushed through his teeth as her hips shifted against his hard, thick length. He touched and kissed her, then unbuttoned her khakis, pushing his hands in between the cloth and the supple, warm skin covering her hips.

  Cora wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. She reached between them and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, maneuvering them down enough to expose him. He exhaled into a moan when she ran her fingers over him. When she took him into her hand, he moaned so loud, it vibrated his chest. Unhurriedly and tenderly, she stroked him.

  Gunther laid his head back on the couch, relishing in the carnal feeling. As Cora worked her small palm over him, he grabbed her hand and yanked it away. “I’m sorry. Did I go too far?” she asked, feeling a little embarrassed about her overzealous behavior.

  “No. God, no.” He smiled. “You’ll make me explode if you keep doing that.” She half-smiled, but continued to feel a little red-faced. He took her hands and returned them to around his neck. His lips fluttered across hers. “Do you want to…?”

  “To what?” His brow raised. “Oh… Right.” Her smile mingled with a devious twitch in her lips. “Very much so. I have for a while now.” Without a second thought, she stood, tossed her pants and panties to the side, and sat back down on his lap.

  As he ran a fingertip between her breasts and down to the top of her slit, her body shuddered and broke out in goosebumps. Gunther worked his thumb around her warm flesh, Cora’s head lolled back—lips parted, heavy pants escaping. Greed took over, making her hips rock. As his thumb pushed into her core, she groaned with an edge she hadn’t released in ages.

  Massaging his palm over her outer flesh, Cora’s eyes closed, chest pumping as she bit down on her lip. Her face started to develop a light sheen of sweat. He kissed and licked at her perked nipples. The combined sensations made her body pulsate with fury around his hand. She cried out as the waves of ecstasy crashed through her body.

  She cupped her hand on his cheek and dragged her thumb down the thick, jagged scar. “Take me,” she whispered.

  His eyes closed, relishing in her gentle touch, wishing it were Quinn’s hands. When Gunther opened them again, he swallowed hard as he gazed into Cora’s. He laid her back, balanced his big body over hers, then kicked off his jeans. Once settled between her soft thighs, his tip grazed across her swollen flesh.

  Gunther let out a shaky breath, consumed by all the thoughts of the first time he and Quinn made love. He wanted that back. That moment, that feeling of assured love and untamed lust. The deep, unrelenting love and desire they had felt for each other.

  Cora moaned, jolting him from his memories. Staring down at her, Gunther hesitated, wanting her to take the lead so he wouldn’t feel as guilty.

  She kissed him with a mad passion. Her hands roamed all over his body, desperate to have him thrusting into her core. As she took him into her hand and guided his shaft in, Gunther grunted over the pure pleasure, Cora’s warmth and tightness beginning to swallow him. She gasped and slammed her eyes shut when he forced himself deeper into her taut channel.

  He paused, the emotions welling and racing through him.

  His heart was hurting.

  Cora felt good, but she didn’t feel the same as Quinn. No one would.

  He stared at Cora’s face, waiting for her to go from a pained expression to something more relaxed. Their gazes locked when she opened her eyes.

  She swallowed, releasing a moan. “You’re much more than I’ve ever had.”

  “Is that good or bad?” he asked, starting a slow rhythm.

  “Good. Oh god…so very good,” she groaned, enjoying the thickness filling her.

  He picked up his pace, Cora meeting him thrust for thrust. She tilted her hips so he’d hit that special spot deep within.

  Bodies trembled, breath came out ragged, faces glistened with sweat…

  Gunther’s jaw slacked. He was close, but he wanted her to get there again. He held himself back until her body gave him what he needed. It had been so long since he felt that warm, silky wetness. He took advantage of it and thrust into her at a punishing rhythm, slamming his lids shut, envisioning Quinn under him.

  When she cried out, he realized the entire moment was a mistake beyond anything he had ever done throughout his entire existence.

  He decided he wouldn’t finish and would pull out, but Cora tightened her legs around his hips, trapping him.

  It was a done deal.

  “Oh, fuuuck.” His voice vibrated in her ear as the orgasm rolled through his body, making his seed jet out repeatedly.

  Sexually fatigued, he collapsed, face buried into her hair.

  Cora rubbed his muscular back, reveling in the moment they just shared. She was a little stunned, but thrilled it finally happened. Her thoughts went wild as she anticipated what their future held. She suppressed a girlish giggle.

  Gunther pushed up and pulled out, then lay beside her, knowing he shouldn’t have done what he did. Carried away with his physical need, the wanton lust caught up to him.

  As he was about to scrub his hand over his face, Cora took it and interlaced their fingers. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” she murmured.

  It suddenly became apparent that the sex meant much more to her than it did him. He needed release. She needed love. He didn’t know what to say.

  “Yeah?” His stomach twisted into knots, feeling like the biggest jackoff on the planet.

  �
��Yeah, but I wanted you to initiate. I wanted you to realize you were ready to move forward.” He nodded. He wasn’t ready, but his body ached to be touched. “Was it okay?”

  “Yeah, it was good.” However, she was no Quinn. The need to escape trampled him. “I need to get some food. I worked up an appetite. Have you eaten yet?”

  Excited, Cora almost felt like he was asking her out on a date. “I’ll go with you.”

  Quickly, they dressed and headed out to the cafeteria. She walked down the hall with her arm around Gunther’s waist until they got to the corner. Confusion struck her when he pushed her away.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “I’m just not ready.”

  The defeat in her eyes killed him, the hurt in her voice making him feel like an even bigger asshole when she mumbled, “Oh… All right then.”

  Remembering a conversation with Quinn about how he was a very sexual person, she hoped their intimate moment wasn’t just out of convenience. However, just from that action alone, it was looking bleak.

  Her gaze dropped to the floor as she walked into the cafeteria behind Gunther.

  Elaina stood next to the table while my mum and I had our hands around her swollen abdomen, the baby dancing the jig on her bladder. In awe and thrilled to feel any slight movements from our baby, I yelled, “This is so bloody amazing!”

  Mum and I both laughed. Elaina didn’t, but at least she was a good sport about it. “Well, at the expense of my own continence, I’m happy you’re excited.” While I searched for more movement, she lovingly traced the veins in my hands.

  “Wonderful, isn’t it, mate?” Gunther asked, patting me on the shoulder.

  “I’m completely blown away there’s a baby in there.”

  “Wait until the birth.” Gunther smiled and headed off to the pantry. Cora stayed at a distance, following.

  The three of us sat and talked for a while, but fatigue hit Elaina hard again. The baby was sucking every last bit of energy right out of her. It was all she could do to stifle a yawn every time she tried to talk.

  “Go lie down, love. No need to entertain us.”

  “Yeah. That sounds like a plan.”

  My mum smiled and touched my arm. “When I was pregnant with you, Luke, I think I slept during most of it. When I wasn’t sleeping, I was sick to my stomach.”

  After Elaina left, I turned to the side and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and collected. Clenching my fists and jaw, my mind went to places it shouldn’t have. Places I wanted to keep tucked away.

  Luke was dead to me. I didn’t want to hear or talk about my childhood. Too many bad memories. The few times my mum had called me Luke, I melted down. It scared her to see my temper and my petulant behavior because that was the Roger in me.

  I still hated to acknowledge the fact that he was my biological father, but I had to, which brought up a completely new set of anxieties and insecurities for me. I worried I would turn out like him, but sometimes hearing his voice in my head, being reminded of everything I had lost throughout the course of my harrowing life, sent me over the jagged cliff, tumbling into the hell entrapping my mind.

  We had a few holes in the walls of our room. Sometimes, when Elaina would see me losing it and unable to control myself, she would steer me right to the gym to take my rage out on the bag or a stack of weights.

  After weeks of debating, I decided to hand over my journals so my mum could get to know the “Luke” she was desperate to.

  Much like Elaina had, Mum cried as she poured through my letters to her. She was devastated and appalled at what Roger and the others had done to me. The abuse I endured was far more punishing than anyone else in that building. Even Gunther attested to that.

  The many nights of throwing up from the pain riddling my body… The loneliness that crept into my dreams… The countless number of times I held a gun to my head, hoping to find the courage to pull the trigger…

  I was the chosen one to feel the wrath of Roger. For some reason unbeknownst to me, he hated me. I hadn’t figured out why yet. Maybe he was just pure evil, or maybe there was a method to his madness. Either way, neither of us deserved to be treated that way.

  Without my knowledge, Mum had witnessed some things, but she hadn’t witnessed everything.

  Against my will, I had done things and had things done to me that went far beyond any physical, mental, or emotional abuse I had lived through, making me who I was.

  One particular day rang far worse than any other, including the day they injected me with the virus. The only way I could live with what I had done was the fact that Roger held a gun to my head for the duration. I was fucking terrified.

  The journal entry for that day was simple. All I had scribbled on the page was “I want to die”.

  Unlike the previous times when it was just a passing thought, it was the first time I seriously contemplated suicide. I broke into one of the gun safes and nicked a handgun. Building the courage, I was seconds away from pulling the trigger.

  Sophie found me, sitting against the concrete wall in the gun range, the business end of a Sig in my mouth. After several minutes of crying and begging, I relented. She took the gun away and comforted me while I sobbed.

  I couldn’t even talk about that day with Elaina, let alone my mother. Elaina asked about it after reading my simple confession, but I refused to tell her. Unsure if I ever would, I worried she would be ashamed or even afraid to be married to me after what I did.

  A slight sob brought me back from my spiraling thoughts. Facing my mum, she had tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “Nothing. Just know I will do my best never to bring up your youth again.”

  “Much appreciated. It’s too many bad memories. I need to move forward. I have so much ahead of me.”

  “You certainly do.”

  “I struggle every day. I have a hard time with all the anger and rage that’s just below the surface, pushing to take over.”

  “You are ten times better than any man I have ever met. I’m so proud of you. Look how you treat Elaina with such love and devotion.”

  “I’m not the best husband, but I love her with everything I’ve got, Mum. I can’t imagine my life without her. Every time we’ve broken up, I’ve wanted to just crawl away and die. I’m going to do my best not to fuck it up again, but all my rage terrifies me. I’m one wrong move away from losing her forever.” I interlaced my fingers in front of me. “She’s the glue that holds all my broken pieces together.”

  “She accepts who you are and wants to see you through all of your issues. You picked well, my son. She’s brilliant.” I nodded. She reached across the table and took my icy hands in hers. “I’m so pleased to be able to experience the birth of your child with you, Henry.”

  “I am too. I’m so thrilled, I can’t even describe it.”

  “You know, I never gave up on you. I knew we would be together again somehow. I just hoped it was before he killed one of us. It was only a matter of time before fate brought us together again.”

  I smiled at her, pondering what the future held for all of us. I wasn’t sure, and that terrified me.

  Gunther picked at his meal, not able to bring himself to look at Cora sitting across from him. He felt worse than he did before the sex.

  “Are you going to eat?” Cora asked.

  “No.” He pushed the food toward her.

  “Gunther, please don’t do this again. You need the nutrients.”

  “I’m fine. You eat,” he replied.

  She leaned in close and whispered, “Was I that bad?”

  “No.”

  “I don’t get it then. Why are you being like this? Do you regret what happened?”

  When Josie walked in with the kids, both Grey and Callie crying, it saved Gunther from trying to weave a lie.

  “Here. They’re all yours,” Josie muttered and handed Grey to Cora. “What a nightmare that was. Thanks.” She glared at Cora.


  Taken aback, Cora asked, “Were they all misbehaving?”

  “Everyone but Kate. She did her best to help me with Silas. Then Callie bit Grey, which scared poor Maggie.”

  Cora gasped. “Callie! Is he okay?” She pulled at Grey’s clothing.

  “Yeah. Hardly left a mark. Now he’s just cranky. So, yeah, I’m going to my room for a little peace,” Josie muttered.

  Gunther glanced up at Josie, their gazes locking. The exchanged look of distress was heavy. With a sigh, she stalked off, leaving him wondering if he should try the “dad” thing with her.

  “I can’t believe you guys would be so bad for Josie! This has turned out to be a lovely day,” Cora grumbled.

  Gunther stood. “Is it okay if you watch Grey for a minute?”

  “Sure. Yeah. Of course. Whatever you need.” Cora glared at him.

  “Thanks,” he said and stalked off.

  As Gunther walked through the halls, he decided he needed to talk to someone about what happened between him and Cora, but he didn’t dare say anything to Josie. He stopped at his old room, head hanging. He dreaded going in there and seeing the paintings Quinn had put her heart and soul into.

  Shaking his head, Gunther knew he besmirched her memory by disrespecting Cora so much. The betrayal laid heavy within his heart and mind.

  “Fuck me,” he whispered, letting out a shaky breath and softly knocking.

  The click of the lock sounded and Josie opened it. “What,” she said in a hard tone.

  “May I come in?”

  “I guess.” She swung the door open so he could enter. “What do you want?” she asked, slamming the door.

  His gaze wandered around the room, landing on each painting, then the desk. So many memories happened on that industrial piece of furniture. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

  Josie… He needed to focus on her. “What’s going on, lass?”

  “Don’t really want to talk about it.”