Blind Faith (Shattered Lives, Book Four)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  “Fuck off,” he whispered.

  “Are you for real?! Number one rule… Don’t lift like that without a spotter. Christ! Like I want to dig another fucking grave, especially yours! Do you have any idea what it would do to everyone if we lost you over such stupidity?!” Gunther sat up, rubbing his chest. His jaw trembled as he looked away from my heated glare. “Help me get this back on the holds. I can’t lift that on my own. Three-fifty’s my max.” He staggered to his feet and grabbed one side of the bar, helping me heave it up. I glared at him with my hands on my hips. “Mate–”

  “Don’t,” he chirped, dragging a hand across his face.

  “Do you want me to grab Cora to take a peek at you?”

  “Fuck, no!”

  My brow raised. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “The fuck you are.”

  “Just leave it and stop interrogating me.”

  He turned away from me while I stared at him. “Let’s get the weights off this, then I need your help outside.”

  “Aye, aye, captain,” he muttered.

  By the time Jake woke from his nap, dusk had fallen. Josie helped him dress so Cora could come in and check him over. After the quick examination, Josie went out to the cafeteria to grab a bite of food she thought he could eat. She found bowls of cooked vegetables, which she easily mashed.

  At first, Jake insisted on feeding himself, but Josie felt the need to take care of him. He groaned with every bite. “Hot food. My god… Why don’ we do this more of’en?”

  “I don’t know,” Josie murmured. “Good question, though. Meat with this would be great.”

  “The only thing tha’ would make this better is some dessert,” Jake said, causing Josie to giggle. “Wha’?”

  “Nothing,” she mused.

  “You los’ me, babe,” Jake said as Josie navigated another mouthful of food through his battered lips.

  She shrugged. “I thought maybe I was going to be your dessert.” Jake stopped chewing. “Cat got your tongue, Mr. Travers?” He shook his head. “If you aren’t up to it, we can wait. It’s fine. We have plenty of time…since you’re stuck here for a while.”

  He chewed a few more times and swallowed. After a sip of water, he said shyly, “I like tha’ idea.”

  “You aren’t used to girls hitting on you, are you?”

  “No, not at all. Chris used to try to get me to go to parties or the bars, but I felt too self-conscious.”

  “Jake, the scars aren’t that bad.”

  “To you. To me, they’re a fucking nigh’mare.”

  “I understand that. However, any decent human being can look past them and see who you really are. And, quite frankly, you’re smoking hot.” Jake blushed and looked down. “I’m not kidding. Why do you think you’re all fugly?”

  “The scars, Josie.” Pointing to his face, he mumbled, “Not to mention the recent pretties tha’ were added.”

  “Well, when I look at you, I see those gorgeous, light brown eyes, svelte lips, strong jaw, trim physique, and you’re a good guy. Caring, considerate, not pushy…”

  “Thanks.” Even though he felt embarrassed, he still enjoyed the compliments. Her words made him feel good about himself, which was something that hadn’t happened in many years.

  She set his tray and fork on the desk near the bed. “Are you good? You want me to see if there is more to eat?”

  “I’m good, babe. Thank you for taking care of me.”

  Josie smiled. “You’re welcome. I couldn’t imagine not doing so.”

  She stood, gathered the trays and left the room. He needed to decide what to do while she was gone. The promise of more sex was lingering in the air and if it was anything like their first time, Jake was itching to make it happen. He was already hardening just thinking about her naked on top of him again.

  Pausing just outside the door, Josie glanced down at the fork she used to feed Jake. She smiled while tracing her fingertips over the edges of the handle and tines. A warmth rushed through her body. With a stagger in her breath and step, she continued down the hall.

  Eden and Farren were washing dishes at the sink near the pantry. Josie set the tray on the counter, eyes still focused on the fork. She furrowed her brows when it occurred to her that their relationship had crossed lines, going far beyond what she had with Nick. Picking up the fork again, she gazed at it as if it was a part of something bigger. Something so vast, but within her grasp.

  “Earth to Josie!”

  Josie gasped and dropped the fork on the floor. She scrambled to pick it up and hand it to Eden.

  “Are you okay?” Farren asked.

  Josie’s hands trembled, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “I’m great. Thanks.”

  After running out of the cafeteria, Josie stopped to catch her breath, her heart fluttering. With a soft smile and a quick rub to her chest, she headed to her room, needing to get back to Jake.

  Once again, she paused at the door. The emotions began to rain down upon her. Choking back the lump rising in her throat, Josie pressed the back of her hand to her lips. She wanted to laugh, cry, and scream all at the same time. With a total loss of control, tears streamed down her cheeks.

  She knew she loved him, but just realized to what extent. She opened the door… Jake was naked in bed, waiting for her arrival.

  “Jake. Oh god, Jake…” She ran straight to him.

  He sat up, covering himself with a blanket. “Jos?” Stretching out his arms, he caught her as she landed in his lap. Once again, he found himself holding her tight, never wanting to let go. The sobs coming from her little body concerned him. “Babe…? Wha’s going on?”

  “Jake…,” she whispered into his neck.

  “Did something happen? Wait… Did I push too much by being ready for you? Shit, Jos. I’m so sorry. I just thought–”

  She sat back and grabbed his face. “You’re fine. Nothing happened. You did nothing and there’s absolutely nothing wrong.” She did her best to smile, but the tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.

  “I don’t understand. If there’s nothing wrong, why are you crying?” She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Babe, tell me why you’re crying.”

  “I just realized something really important.” He gazed at her, searching her eyes. “You. You are what I’ve needed. Not Nick, not Josiah, but you. I thought I was in love with Nick, but I didn’t feel like this. And Josiah was just a fling. I don’t feel a black hole in my chest anymore. I feel complete.” Josie leaned in, hugging him, then whispered in his ear, “I’ve fallen so hard for you, Jake. So very hard. I love you so much.”

  “Wow, Jos… I feel the same,” he confessed, rubbing her back. “I love you, too.” Jake was astounded he could make someone feel that way. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away enough so he could see her face. “For my own clarification… You’re so happy, you’re crying?”

  “Yes,” she said with a laugh, wiping the tears from her face.

  He was so inexperienced with love, which baffled her because he was stunning. She couldn’t understand why women didn’t throw themselves at him left and right.

  “I don’ know what to say.” She laughed. “Wha’?”

  “You say everything that pops into your head, don’t you?”

  He thought about it for a second, then let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I guess I do.” Then he furrowed his brows. “Is tha’ bad? I mean, I can try to change-”

  She laughed. “As long as you have some sort of filter and don’t say anything mean, then no, I don’t want you to change. I love that about you. You have an innocent quality, which is wonderful.”

  “Chris always said I’m a life-inexperienced hermit because I never open up to people or put myself out there. He said I throw out a ‘fuck off’ vibe.”

  She thought for a minute, then nodded. “I can get that. You
do have that coming off you when you’re in a group. But when you are alone, you’re sweet and adorable.”

  Jake smirked. “Sweet and adorable, huh? Don’ tell the others. It will ruin my tough guy image.” They cuddled up and spooned, lying still and quiet for a while. “Josie?” His soft voice complemented his hard-shelled frame.

  “Hmm?”

  “I don’ want to find another room.”

  She smiled. “I don’t want you to, either.”

  “Good, because I’m happy here with you. The happiest I have ever been in my entire life.”

  She snuggled closer to him. Her eyes filled with tears again, but she didn’t want Jake to see her like that again so soon.

  As he woke in the darkness, Chris startled from the presence next to him. He launched off the bed, stumbling over his pack, falling into the table.

  “Ugh…fuck,” he groaned.

  “Chris?” Mara asked in a sleepy voice. She listened to him pant from the shock alone. “Come and lay down.”

  “Sorry. I just-”

  “It’s okay.” She rubbed the blanket. “Come on.”

  Carefully, he shuffled to the bed and climbed in. “Just not used to waking up with someone next to me.” He lay back, resting his hands behind his head. “Thank you for being here for me.”

  “It’s the least I could do. You’re in a lot of pain.”

  He sighed, not really wanting to talk about it. “Yeah, I guess.”

  Mara moved slow, slipping her hand up under Chris’ shirt, feeling his abs clench as she ran her fingers over the ripples. “Shhh… Relax.”

  “But…” He swallowed hard as her hand traveled toward his chest. “The girls.”

  “Eden and Farren are roaming around somewhere. They came in shortly after you fell asleep and I asked them to give you your privacy until I came to get them.”

  “Right.” His swallow echoed through the quiet. “Okay… Yeah.”

  Her fingers danced through the hair covering his chest. “You have such a boyish look. I didn’t expect a man’s body underneath your clothes.”

  “Uhh… Yeah. Heard that one before,” he whispered.

  Mara chuckled, having an almost sinister quality to it. “Are you very much a man everywhere?”

  He let out a shuddering breath. “Yeah… I’ve been complimented a few times.” Her hand snaked down, cupping what was in his pants.

  “Mmm-hmm. Definitely feels manly to me,” she purred. Quickly, she slipped her hand under the material.

  Chris grabbed her wrist. “Fuck, Mara… Don’t.” She stroked, feeling him come alive in her hand. “Christ!” he barked.

  She giggled at his reaction. “Why not?”

  Moaning as she stroked his length, he stammered, “I… I… I really don’t know.”

  “Let’s just make each other feel good.”

  Chris sucked in a deep breath and took a split second to think about her proposal. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

  The flurry of activity happened at a staggering rate. Mara straddled Chris’ hips, jamming her hands under his shirt, pushing it up over his head. She leaned down and their lips locked, tongues tangled, breathing robbed.

  Chris yanked Mara’s shirt off and unhooked her bra, throwing it aside. She moaned as his hands roamed around her chest, pinching, twisting, massaging her into a puddle.

  She stood, quickly ditching her jeans and panties. Chris took the opportunity to get rid of his pants and boxers.

  Straddling him once more, she leaned down, her lips pressed against his. “How do you want it?”

  “What?”

  “The sex… How do you want it?”

  “Well, I-”

  “Rough? I like it rough,” she said a little more excited than he expected.

  “I kind of like to make love. Slow and sensual, carefully bringing my lover to her peak, drawing it out…”

  “Oh.” She slipped off and rolled onto her back, waiting for him to mount her for his slow lovemaking.

  He shifted to his side, resting his head on his arm, looking at her. “Does that disappoint you?”

  “No. It just seemed to be heading the rough way.”

  Rolling his lips into his mouth, he thought for a moment. “How about I fuck you hard? If we decide to do this again, you can teach me the rough stuff you like.”

  Mara grinned into the darkness. “I like that idea.”

  “All right then.”

  Chris climbed on top of Mara, pinning her leg back. In one thrust, he was in. She cried out, feeling him punch her deep. She was panting and moaning so loud, he thought she would go hoarse. He pumped into her as if it was the last sex he would ever have.

  Orgasming repeatedly, she turned into nothing but a listless body with a set of useless limbs. Chris let her leg fall to the side, continuing his harsh thrusts until he felt his release run through his body. After he pulled out, he stroked himself until his seed pumped out all over her chest and abdomen. “Ugh, fuuuck,” he moaned as the jets pulsed from his cock. He dropped to the bed next to her, trying to catch his breath. “That was some seriously epic fucking.”

  Mara moaned, still a little out of sorts. “Yeah… God, you were amazing. No one has ever made me come like that.”

  “Glad to be of service.”

  Chris listened while she stood and walked over to the sink, stumbling a few times before getting there. A plastic bottle crinkled, then water trickled into the sink. He smirked, knowing he made a mess of her.

  “Need any help?”

  “No, I got it.”

  “Mmm-hmm. Sure do.”

  She chuckled and walked back to the bed, lying beside Chris. She rested her head on his shoulder, running her fingers through the hair on his chest. “My vote is there will be a next time.”

  “I’m down with that. Seriously, why haven’t we done this before?”

  He felt her shrug. “I’m kind of a bitch. But since we connected, I promise to be sweet as pie…to you.”

  Letting out a soft chuckle, he ran his hand through his hair. “I’m looking forward to finding out.”

  “Maybe tomorrow. Anyway, I should get going so Eden and Farren can come back and get some sleep. Look at me being caring. See what you’ve done to me already?” She pawed around the area for her clothes. As she dressed, she said, “Listen, let’s keep this to ourselves.”

  “You fucking someone else?”

  “No. My mom would freak. She has this perverse idea I’m much more innocent than I portray and I do everything for attention.” Chris laughed. “Okay, maybe everything I do is for attention, but I’m also a freak.”

  “Already got that feeling.” Mara headed to the door as Chris sat up on his elbows. The moonlight coming through the one uncovered window hit her just so, making her look majestic—long hair sweeping around her body, pale skin, dark eyes, dark pouty lips, slender build. Feeling the emotions of the whole Jake and Nadia situation gripping at his chest again, he murmured, “Mara, in all seriousness, thanks for being here for me. I don’t have anyone else. It means a lot. You helped me forget for a few minutes.”

  He watched her head tip down, looking shy. The corner of his mouth lifted into a half-smile. “That was my hope for you, and you’re welcome,” she said softly, opening the door and slipping out.

  Chris lay back and stared into nothingness. He scrubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair. With a sigh, he decided to dress before the girls came back.

  Before lying back down, he looked at the table, picking up the football he and Jake used to toss back and forth when they couldn’t sleep. Spinning it in his hands, his eyes welled once more and he knew it wouldn’t be the last time he would get emotional over the loss of his best friend. He relived his sister’s death, and now Jake was gone, as well.

  “Fuck me,” Chris muttered, swiping at the tears rolling toward his ears. He truly felt alone.

  The door opened and Eden and Farren walked into the room.

  “Thanks for knocking… I could’ve
been pulling one out.”

  “You are such a pig!” Farren yelled.

  “Oink,” Chris mumbled and rolled onto his side, clutching the football close to his chest, hoping his usual attitude covered up his sadness.

  Listening to the girls move about the room, lighting candles and getting ready for bed, he fell asleep in the hopes his dreams wouldn’t force him to relive Nadia’s funeral once more.

  Chapter 19

  A week after the ass whooping Chris handed out, Jake was feeling a little better. His mouth felt relatively good, but his eyes were still swollen and bruised. He felt good about his relationship with Josie and was on top of the world, despite his circumstances with Chris.

  He and Josie spent most of their days and nights together, discovering one another’s bodies. It was glorious and delicious. In a way, Jake was glad he never had sex again after Nadia. Learning with Josie had really been special to him.

  Henry requested a closed-door meeting between himself, Chris, and Jake in one of the classrooms in the other wing. His anxiety kicked up, giving him a case of the “what ifs”.

  As he was getting ready to leave, Josie hugged him. “You all right?” she asked, reaching up and brushing his hair out of his eyes. He pulled on his ball cap tight over them.

  “Yeah. Just a little nervous, I guess.”

  “It’ll be fine. Just stay calm and try to think about everything before you say it. Don’t go off the cuff. This would be a good time to install a filter.”

  “Will do, but… What if he throws me out? I don’t think I could-”

  “He’s not going to throw you out. Even though he sometimes comes off as the king of all assholes, Henry’s a really good guy.”

  Jake took a deep breath. The worry was so evident, it poured off him like Niagara Falls. He kissed her forehead and walked out the door.

  She feared for what might transpire, but was glad Henry was going to be there to break anything up. If Chris ever raised a fist to Jake again, Josie had a feeling he would fight back no matter the risk. He needed forgiveness from Chris. Most importantly, he needed forgiveness from himself. For far too long, Jake had grieved and felt guilty, but Chris still needed time after this latest development. Someday, she hoped Jake and he would be close again.