Blind Faith (Shattered Lives, Book Four)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  “I appreciate your offer, but I can’t go anywhere where my heart will continue to be trampled.”

  Gunther reached over and grabbed Cora’s arms. “Cora, stop this!” he hissed.

  “Do not speak to me like you own me because…newsflash, asshole…you don’t have the right to say a word to me or even touch me,” she snarled, glancing down at his hands. “Take your hands off of me and don’t ever touch me again.”

  “You are carrying my child!”

  “And that doesn’t allow you to dictate what decisions I make! This is our child, which means I am this baby’s mother and will make the proper decisions based on what he or she needs.”

  “The proper decision is to be with his or her father, as well. Whether or not you want to believe it, I love that child.”

  “You have a wonderful way of showing it.”

  “That’s not fair,” he growled.

  “Life is but a game, yes?” she said in obstinacy.

  “Cora, stop being so bloody pigheaded.”

  “I’m pigheaded?! Maybe you ought to check yourself out in the mirror before making that accusation.”

  “Touché,” he muttered.

  After a few moments of silence, Cora asked, “What happens if we go there and we can’t do this together? Where will my kids and I go?”

  “I swear to you on my memories of Quinn, I will provide for you no matter the circumstances. As long as it’s still there, I have more money than I know what to do with. I am more than happy to provide for you wherever you go, but I want to be near our child. I want to help raise him or her. I want to help with everything for Kate, Silas, and Callie, as well.”

  “Gunther, I won’t be able to handle seeing you date and fuck your way around the area while I stand by, raising children. You are emotionally unavailable. I can’t be alone in this! I need some solace. I need something. I can’t just be the dump on woman. ‘Here are the kids. See ya while I go get my rocks off with woman number five hundred and twenty-fucking-two!’”

  “Point taken. I’m trying.” He shook his head, knowing what she thought of him. “Trust me. I will not be looking for anyone to date or sleep with. I’ll be happy raising our kids and never dating again. We can live together and raise them together, like a proper family. Like we’ve been doing. I think it would affect them tremendously if we don’t continue that stability.”

  The silence raked on Gunther’s last nerve, but then Cora finally spoke. “I hate to say this, but you’re right.”

  “Tell me you will come.”

  She locked eyes with him. “I want one thing from you first.”

  “You name it.”

  “Admit you have feelings for me.”

  “Fuck, fuck… Motherfucker.” He shook his head. “That’s not fair and you know it.”

  “Admit it, Gunther,” she growled. “Because you know as well as everyone else around us that you do.”

  “Fine! For fuck’s sake, I do have feelings for you. I just can’t act on them at the moment.”

  “I will settle for that…for now.”

  She stood and walked away with a smirk, leaving Gunther stunned and feeling a little manipulated.

  Chapter 27

  -East End of London-

  “The construction team will be here any moment,” Erik said, taking a sip of the coffee Tess bought for him.

  She settled in at the conference table and pulled out a small fruit tart from the white paper sack, then gazed at the building plans. “Quickly, go over this one more time with me.”

  Pointing to each section, Erik rambled off what they needed to do to the cage room. “I’m going to have them build a foyer so we can seal off the actual room. We will need a UV light decontamination unit that will fit a human, plus a much smaller one that can fit items we will move between the lab and the chamber. We will install cabinetry around the room so we have a place to store the medical equipment needed. In a sense, it will look like a hospital room. Clinical.” Seemingly impressed with his details, he smiled. “Also, I’ve decided to give up my office for a loo with a full shower and tub with jets.”

  “Wow, you must be dedicated,” Tess said with a smile, taking a bite of her pastry. “I do have concerns. Don’t you think they’ll talk about what they’re building or seeing?”

  “Under the table cash bonus.”

  “I hope that’s all it takes,” she muttered.

  “I’m certain. We’ve worked with them before. Part of this team designed the interior of this building. And as the old adage goes… Everyone has a price,” Erik said with a wink and smile.

  Taking another bite of the pastry, Tess said, “I assume the patient will have to stay quarantined in the chamber once we start?”

  “Yes. My main concern is infection. I don’t want to go through all these treatments only for Luke to become infected with something else and die. It would be such a waste.”

  “You keep talking like you’re certain he’ll come.” She stuffed the last bite of pastry in her mouth. “Mate, you are off your rocker.”

  Ignoring Tess’ dig, he continued, “I think we should harvest stems cells, then we can give his immune system a boost to help with the cleaning of his blood.”

  “Still think you’re mental,” she said in a singsong tone.

  “Stop, Tess. I have a good feeling he’ll want to come. Why wouldn’t he?”

  She held her forefinger and thumb close together. “Maybe he will be just a tiny bit angry when he sees you. I imagine he holds a grudge against all things to do with the program. That would include you, Erik Carlson.”

  “Guaranteed.”

  “But you’re still so confident.” She looked at him, puzzled.

  “Luke is a special case.”

  “Whatever. I just fear how long it will take.”

  “Yeah. According to our results, it will be a series of treatments and testing for sure.”

  “What if it doesn’t work? Fifty percent of the samples have failed. I worry about attempting this. What if we kill him?”

  “He’s already dying. If he starts turning, I know I can save him.”

  “Your confidence is amazing at times, but for such brilliance, you’ve lost your marbles. I don’t think he’ll take a fifty-fifty chance at survival when he can just live on blood.”

  “I have to try. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.” Tess shook her head. When she looked at the security monitor displayed on the laptop screen, she saw the construction crew arriving at the front door. Erik took a deep breath. “Suppose I should go let them in so we can get this started.”

  -Camp North, North Carolina-

  Gunther poked his head into the tent where the others from their community were staying. When he walked in, James looked up from the book in his hands and his eyes fixed on Gunther. He closed the book and shoved it under the blanket.

  “Can we have a quick chat,” Gunther asked, approaching him.

  “Uhh… Yeah, sure,” James said.

  He walked to the empty portion of the tent, James following. Gunther placed one hand on his hip and the other on his face, needing a second to gather his thoughts. He had wanted to hold this conversation with James for a while, and it was a good time for it.

  He dropped his hand and looked James in the eye. “My Quinn was the light of my life. She was nothing less than a queen, and I her pauper.”

  “She was,” he murmured.

  “She deserves respect in life, as well as death, which is why I stand here before you now. I credit her with the good that runs through me. The good that runs through our son. When she passed in my arms, I wanted to go with her. If Henry wouldn’t have knock on the door that night, it would’ve been the case. There are days when I feel empty, my heart full of holes, my soul blackened from my tainted life. But then I look at our son and see the gift she gave to me.”

  Waving his hand in the air, James said, “Look… You don’t have to-”

  Gunther held up a hand. “Allow me to finish
.” James nodded. “While I don’t understand why, she still held a little love in her heart for you. It befits the legacy Quinn left behind. Her kind heart, her loving way, and how she was always available for anyone at any given time. I loved her so much and my life will never be the same. Her way has inspired me to come to you…” He held out his hand. Nervously, James clasped it. “Take care. I hope you can live peacefully for the rest of your days.”

  After a quick handshake, Gunther walked out to finish packing. Stunned, James stood in the same spot for a few moments. Savannah walked up and put her hands on his shoulders.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  The furrow in his brow and hollow stare concerned her. “What did he say to you?”

  “I think… I’m not exactly sure. Maybe an apology, a goodbye, or just a bit of closure.”

  “Well, whatever it was, I’m glad it wasn’t explosive.”

  “You and me both.” James shook his head and went back to his cot.

  Chapter 28

  -Gamebridge, New York-

  The plane ride was bumpy, to say the least. Right after we took off, Nicky cried for about two hours. Once we got him quieted down, Elaina, my mum, and I took turns pacing with him, driving the other passengers batty.

  I was so thankful when we landed and could get him off the plane. The distress it caused him broke my heart.

  As soon as we walked through the airport and out the doors, Elaina burst into tears again. She clutched my shoulder, digging her nails in. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe we are actually here.”

  Watching people carry on as if nothing had happened was a bit bizarre. We were so used to the survivor lifestyle, we had forgotten what it was like to live normally.

  The government had arranged for three vans to get all of our stuff and us to our home. I stared out the window of the van as the city passed by. Our home was quite a distance from the airport. The further we got away from the city, the less redeveloped it was. Thankfully, there were new roads constructed over the bombed portions. It was sad to see places Elaina and I liked to visit shut down, burnt down, or just wiped off the map.

  When we turned down the street the house was located on, Elaina covered her eyes.

  “It’s okay, love. Remember, they said it was viable.” I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close.

  “My mom’s grave, and Kellan…,” she whimpered.

  “I’ve got you, love. Lean on me. I’m your strength.”

  “This the one?” the cabbie asked.

  “Yes. Thank you so much,” I said.

  “No problem,” he replied with a smile. “Happy to help. Nice seeing folks come back.”

  Nice bloke. I hopped out, but Elaina still had her hands over her face. “Come on, love. We will face this together.” She nodded and dropped her hands. After I helped her out, I reached into the van and pulled Nicky out of the car seat the cab company allowed us to borrow for the trip.

  “It’s a beautiful home,” my mum said as she rounded the back of the van.

  “It is.” I smiled, feeling good to give her a proper home. “Needs some work, but it’ll get there.”

  The overgrown grass made me wonder if Kellan’s body and the weeds were one. The exterior was exceptionally filthy, but that was an easy fix. Looking toward the back, I noted a couple fallen trees that had taken out the fence.

  After exiting the other van, Gunther, Cora, and the kids gazed at the house. Cora’s eyes filled with tears, but when Gunther reached out to comfort her, she swatted him away. Shaking my head, I stifled a chuckle.

  “Before anything else, I want to go see my mom’s grave.”

  “Here. Take Nicky. Let me go first, check things out.” Elaina nodded as she gathered him in her arms. “Gunther, come with me.”

  We trudged through the grass, making it to the end of the house before I stopped. Thoughts of that day came rushing forward. All the pain we endured… My breath hitched, reliving the agony of feeling like a throwaway.

  “You good, mate?” Gunther asked.

  “Uhh… Yeah. Just around the back was where we left Kellan,” I said, wiping the sweat from my brow.

  “Allow me,” Gunther muttered. Cautious steps carried him forward and around the corner. I heard the grass shuffling around before he reappeared. “No body. Not even a few bones. There’s a tarp, a wooden dining chair, and a few chains.”

  “Really?” I exhaled in relief. “Must have removed him when they were going through the neighborhoods. Well, that’s good for Elaina.”

  He slapped my shoulder. “And us.”

  “Yeah,” I whispered.

  I turned and waved Elaina forward, watching her body language go from overwhelmed to distraught.

  “He’s not there?” she asked before she got to me, gripping Nicky closer into her body.

  “No, love. He’s gone. Give me your hand. The weeds and grass have taken over. I don’t want you to fall.” I reached for her and we started walking to where we buried Maria. Nicky squirmed in her arms so I took him as we continued to walk toward the back of the property.

  When we reached the slight mound, Elaina stopped. “Mom…,” she whispered.

  I felt terrible. I was enjoying time with my mother when she had lost hers. She knelt and touched the dirt. When Nicky cooed, she gazed up at him.

  “Let me have him.” I knelt and passed him over. “Mom, this is Nicky,” she choked out. “Nick’s gone, Claire’s gone… They were going to have a baby, but she’s gone, as well. Henry and I are here with our own son. I wish you were here to meet him. He looks just like a Cooper.” She laughed a little through her tears. I rubbed her back and held her steady. “I’m so sad you missed his birth. You would love him. Don’t worry. Henry and I are going to get the house in shape and live here until our day’s end. I love you and miss you so much.” I wrapped my arm around her and held her for a moment until she was ready to go into the house.

  I handed Nicky off to my mum. The rest of the crew hung back while Elaina and I went inside.

  “You doing okay?” I murmured.

  “Yeah. I still can’t believe we are back here. I thought I would never see this place again.” She walked around the house, looking at the pictures on the walls, touching the dusty surfaces of the furniture as if she had to reacclimate herself. “If we want to make this home ours, I think we will need to redecorate.”

  “We’ll worry about that later. Let’s go upstairs.” I placed my hand on the small of her back, guiding her. When she got to the top of the stairs, she stared down the long hall right at Nick’s bedroom door.

  “When he’s old enough to be on his own, I want Nicky to have his room.”

  “Absolutely, love. Whatever you want.”

  “We can stay in my old room. It would be comforting to me. Your mom can have my parents’ room. Then Gunther and Cora can split up the other three.”

  “All right.” I watched her shuffle toward Nick’s room, then rested her hand on the door. “You can do it,” I whispered. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and leaned back against me. “I’ve got you.” She stepped forward, the look on her face making me want to cry…so distraught, agony in every glance.

  “I can’t believe he’s gone,” she sobbed.

  I reached for Elaina and she collapsed into my arms, so I picked her up and carried her to our bedroom. After laying her down on the bed, I curled up next to her, shedding a few tears myself, feeling a vast range of emotions from utter sadness to pure joy.

  Once she settled a little, I murmured in her ear, “I’m going outside and bring the others in.” She nodded into the mattress.

  I jogged down the stairs and out the front door. The cabbies had left and everyone was milling around.

  “Come on in. There are three bedrooms left to split up. Mum, you can have her parents’ room. For now, let’s leave Nick’s room empty.”

  “Absolutely,” Gunther said.

  “Bri
lliant. Thank you.”

  I grabbed a bunch of supplies and headed back inside, the others following behind.

  Chapter 29

  The first night in our home was unbelievable. For the first time in ages, I made love to my wife in a real bed. It was emotionally charged and left us both weeping. Finally, we could be on track to living a normal life…up to a point. There was still my abundance of issues with which to contend.

  As the days continued, it felt as if the house had grown more crowded. We were all getting on one another’s nerves in the confined space. There were a few times I nearly blew my top from all the noise and insanity. Every day, the house seemed smaller and smaller, louder and louder.

  When Elaina, Nicky, or my mum didn’t need me, Gunther and I spent the day tinkering around, fixing up the exterior of the house.

  It was a long day of cutting up the fallen trees, splitting the logs into firewood for the winter months, and repairing the fence. It was great way to release my anger, but I was still oscillating between keeping it in check and letting little bits slip.

  Gunther and I were sitting on the porch, resting. “Mate, no offense, but I’ve got to get out of here,” he muttered. “The walls are closing in on me.”

  “None taken. Can’t wait to get your ass out of here, as well.” He laughed. “How are things with Cora?” Gunther laughed again, but it bordered on the edge of sad and frustrated.

  “I don’t know. One minute, she’s smiling; the next, she wants to rip my bollocks off.”

  “Sounds like a pregnant woman,” I said, watching the sun lower in the sky.

  “I’ve been thinking…”

  I glanced at him. “First time for everything.”

  “Shut the fuck up. Your wife is rubbing off on you.”

  “Out… Rubbing one out.” I stifled a chuckle, figuring I had better behave before he beat my ass.

  “Christ Almighty, you’re a piece of work. Anyway, that survivor list the sergeant had stated Carly was possibly alive. I want to see if…” He gazed at me. “I assume Elaina made mention of it?”

  “Yeah. Where did you meet her?”