Edwina

by Patricia Strefling

Chapter 58

  There was no sleep that night. Edwina tossed, turned, cried, and tried to make sense of it all. How had everything so wonderful turned out so badly? Cecelia and Spencer were here, she had made a success of the relationship she and Paige had forged, and best of all, she’d done it all on her own. Stepped out of her comfort zone and done it. What more could they ask of her?

  Just because the Scot was a true gentleman, that didn’t mean she should take advantage of him. Didn’t they see that? There were so many other woman who would make him a good wife.

  Morning broke and with it came a downpour, matching her mood. The thunder rolled and echoed across the hills. When the lightning turned the room blue, she hid her head under the covers.

  Her hair lay thick on the pillow. It had soaked up many a tear the last few hours. What now? Go down to breakfast and act like everything was okay? Obviously she could not take Cecelia and Spencer outdoors for a walk in the beau- tiful countryside. And after everything that happened, she doubted she’d be welcome at the castle. Not even by Bertie.

  Lord, I’m confused. I’m overwhelmed. Please help me to know what to do. I don’t really know what happened, and I don’t know how to fix it.

  Besides that, her face was red and her stuffy nose accounted for the fact that she decided to stay in bed.

  Hours passed and in misery, she fell asleep for a couple of hours and awoke with a huge headache. Someone pounded on the door.

  “Winnie, it’s me. Can I come in?”

  “Spencer, I’m not in the mood for company.”

  “Are you decent?”

  “Yes, but—” She heard the door open.

  “Hope so, cause nothing could keep me out.” He stepped into the room. Edwina sat up and pulling the covers up to her chin, ran her fingers through her hair. Spencer looked so concerned that she wanted to cry.

  “Look, I’m a mess. I really don’t feel like—”

  “Feel like it or not, you’re going to listen,” he said and landed on the bed at her feet. “Cecelia tells me you’ve turned your knight in shining armor away.”

  “Stop saying that.”

  “Why? Can’t you believe what you’ve seen with your own eyes?”

  “What? What have I seen, Spencer? A man trying to show his gratefulness by marrying me?” She held her hands up as though to protect herself from Spencer’s words.

  “Gratefulness? Winnie, you’ve taken one too many college courses.”

  She cringed.

  “Get this right. I’m only going to say it once. The man loves you.”

  Edwina paused. “He couldn’t... how could he? We’ve been employer/employee, that’s all. Why, he’s never even said my name aloud, well, except once or twice.” That should prove my point.

  “So what’s that supposed to mean? Scots pay a lot of attention to titles, you know. It means nothing. If you can’t tell the man loves you, you’re not the person I thought you to be.”

  “You too? Everybody is frustrated with me. I’m trying to do the right thing, and all I get is sorry looks and angry comments.”

  “Take a look around you, Win. You’ve got your story- book prince, and you don’t even know it.”

  Edwina pulled the covers up higher.

  “You just don’t want to face it. Cecelia’s going to wring your neck if you mess this up.”

  “What?”

  “She’s changed, too, in case you haven’t noticed.”

  “I have noticed. She’s sweeter. See, I’m not as bad as you all think I am.”

  “Have you also noticed that she loves you? She wanted to go after Alex, but when she found out he had feelings for you, she backed off, just like that.” He snapped his fingers.

  “She did? Have feelings for him?” Her voice faltered.

  “Yeah, have you opened your eyes lately? The man’s kind, thoughtful, well enough off and good-looking—or haven’t you noticed?”

  “Looks are nice,” she admitted. “Yes, I have noticed how his eyes turn greener when he wears... but that’s beside the point. I’m not his type. Look at me, my hair all over the place. I’m not saying I’m awful, Spencer. I’m saying I think he deserves better.”

  “Oh wow, we are humble now, aren’t we? Since when did you decide who belongs to whom? And that the man doesn’t know what he likes in a woman? Ah, the gal has lost her mind.” His hands whipped the air as he jumped off the bed and began to pace.

  Edwina shrugged. “Everything will work out. Just let it rest, will you?”

  Spencer stopped and turned. “Ah, so you think this will all fall in place. I can tell you one thing—that man won’t be coming after you. You’ll be doing the going, after the way you laughed at him.”

  “I didn’t laugh at him.”

  “Yes, you did. I saw you. And believe me, it takes us guys a lot of guts to ask a woman to marry us. But laughing... that’s out of line, Winnie.” He wagged his index finger in the air.

  Edwina looked down, ashamed. “I didn’t mean to laugh. I just couldn’t imagine him asking me instead of Cecelia. That’s all.”

  “Well, does the guy know that? I mean, talk about insensitive.”

  “Insensitive? I’m trying to save the guy from making a mistake.”

  “Mistake?” The voice came from the doorway.

  Spencer stopped pacing and turned. “She’s all yours. Try your hand at her.” He saluted the Scot and stalked out the door, his heels hitting the floor hard.

  Edwina pulled the covers tighter under her chin, horrified that the man stood in her bedroom doorway and she in bed, red-eyed and in disarray.

  “Get dressed and come down to the library. We’re going to talk,” he said.

  She heard the door click shut quietly, and her head pounded even more.

  “Okay, let’s get this taken care of. I’m sick of everybody telling me what I ought to think and say and do,” she mumbled, dragging her body from the bed.

  Lord, I’m trusting you to give me the words to say.

  Edwina checked her face in the mirror. This ought to seal the deal. She was a mess. Face splotchy from crying, nose red, hair a wreck from lying in bed. A brush pulled out the tangles. She cleaned her teeth all the while talking around the toothbrush. “I don’t know what everybody wants from me. And Paige, dear thing, is in the middle of all this.”

  Pulling on her oldest blue jeans and the pink T-shirt, she slipped into her flats and clip-clopped down the hallway. He would hear her coming. Good enough, for this was going to end right here, right now. She was going home. He would have to find another wife—one he loved, not one he needed as a mother for his daughter.

  She wanted to cry at the thought of leaving Paige, but once she’d made up her mind, she was as stubborn as the Scot. When had she become so stubborn?

  Edwina took a huge breath and pulled in her courage. She knocked.

  “Enter, lass.”

  See, he’s already back to calling me lass... just as it should be.

  Edwina stepped inside the man’s office and was met face-to-face. Before she had time to say her piece, she found herself being pulled by the elbow. “Where are we going?”

  “Out.”

  He grabbed her umbrella from the stand as he opened the door. “Here.”

  “But it’s raining. We can’t walk.”

  He pulled another umbrella out and once outdoors, opened it. She could do nothing but open hers and follow him.

  He started down the hills toward the outbuildings, sloshing through the water. She followed, but his long legs outpaced her.

  “Keep up.” His voice brooked no arguments.

  “Where are we going?” She cringed as lightning snapped across the way.

  He didn’t answer. Besides, she was too busy sidestepping the puddles.

  They arrived at the little barn where the rusty red truck was parked. He pulled a key out of his pocket and opened the door for her. “Get in.”

  She did.

  He installed his umbrella in the tru
ck bed, and Edwina almost laughed. The thing would probably fall through the holes at the first bump.

  The Scot looked so big in the small truck, but he bent down and turned the key in the ignition. It puffed and struggled, then fired to life. It backfired once, and Edwina clamped her hand over her mouth.

  The gears squawked like a mad goose, and the rusty red bucket jerked forward. He leaned down to see out of the dirty window.

  She didn’t dare speak. They bumped over the yard until they reached the main road, and he put the accelerator to the floor. She could see the road passing beneath them through a small hole. They were moving along.

  After a silent ten minutes, he started to talk.

  “Ye know this truck belonged to my grandfather. He drove me in this thing when I was but a lad. And he never once treated me the way ye did the other day.”

  Edwina swallowed, opened her mouth to justify her meaning, and shut it again.

  “We used to go fishing, and he taught me to drive when I was but ten. Aye, we spent many a day at the market pulling boxes of strawberries off the back of this auld truck.”

  Edwina began to relax a little as he told her about his boyhood. “I had an older brother. He would have been the keeper of the castle, had he not been killed. He drank like my own father and between the two o’ em, they made my mother miserable and me as well.

  “I, the second son, was never intended to inherit my grandfather’s land, but when my foolish brother was killed in a drunk driving accident, he left my parents to mourn their lives away to their deaths. I swore I’d never drink, and I never have. I married the woman I loved, and Paige came along. Then I lost my wife . . .”

  Edwina felt her throat tighten.

  “And I never thought to marry again. After a time I began to see Paige needed a mother. Someone who could teach her womanly things—to dance like her mother, to have tea parties, and enjoy life. I began to look aboot and made a fool of myself many times over women who seemed interested when all they wanted was the title, the money, or the castle. I never knew which.”

  Edwina swallowed past the lump in her throat. “But I have never had a lass laugh at my proposal.”

  Her voice croaked. “I’m so sorry. I was foolish.... I never meant to have it sound like it did.”

  “Are ye sure, lass? Ye think I make a mistake in asking ye? I heard ye say it.” This time she thought carefully before answering.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Why, lass?” He turned his eyes to her for a moment and then back to the road again. How could she explain? What was her reason anyway?

  She’d totally forgotten. Thoughts flew from every direction, but not a word came out of her mouth.

  “Have ye lost ye’re tongue? I won’t be stopping until ye answer.”

  “You might run out of gas.” She tried to be funny.

  “Aye, and that’s fine w’ me, lass. We’ll be out in the hills, you and me, with no way to get home. Then what will ye say?”

  Edwina stiffened. She didn’t like the sound of that.

  “Look, I can’t even give you an answer. Isn’t it enough to tell you I’m the wrong person for you?”

  “What? State yer reason, woman. Ye are confusing me.”

  “You need a mother for Paige... and I appreciate being thought of... but I’m not... not the woman for you.”

  “Ah, so ye know what I’m needin’ in a woman then?”

  “Well, no. Yes. I... oh I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I just know it’s not me.”

  With that Edwina felt the truck slow down. He pulled off the road under a clump of trees and turned off the ignition. He sat staring out through the windshield.

  Edwina thought she would die if he didn’t say something. The quiet rain washed countryside lay before them like a treasure, yet her heart was heavy, afraid of something. It was the inaudible gulf between them.

  The rain stopped. “We’ll walk.”

  He came around for her and offered his hand. She accepted, but her traitorous legs felt weak. He took her hand in his and led her across the hills, pulling her along through the wet grass, saying nothing.

  Where were they going? And how much did this man think she could take before falling head over heels for him? She’d guarded her heart, even choosing to write the story instead of thinking about him. Now they were alone on the hills... and after he’d kissed her like he did. She was only human. Lord, help me to be strong.

  “Slow down, you’re going too fast.” She caught her breath.

  “Aye, it is true.”

  “What?”

  “I am going too fast.” He dropped her hand and stood staring over the valley that lay before them. Edwina turned her eyes to where he looked. Breathtaking beauty lay in bright green and golden splendor. Had eyes ever seen a more heavenly place? She gazed smitten with gratitude that God should allow man to view such grandeur.

  “Ah, ye see it too, don’t ye, lass?” She could not form a word in her throat. “It is my homeland. My place of birth. See that little cottage there?” He pointed. “The brown stone one with the little windows?”

  She followed his finger. “That’s where my grandfather was born.”

  “It’s beautiful. He woke up every morning and saw all of this.” Even her whisper seemed intrusive in the tranquil surroundings.

  “Aye. That is the truth. He lived in a run-down cottage, took water from the stream, had barely enough to eat, yet was one of the greatest men I knew.”

  The Scot paused and so did Edwina’s heart. He was sharing the deepest part of his life with her.

  “He saw the beauty before him. And even though his family possessed little, they were privy to all of this.”

  Several minutes passed before she heard his voice again.

  “I have before me, lass, another beautiful creation. The one I speak of thinks she possesses little, but she has all of this.” He waved his hand to include it all.

  Edwina heard the words, and slowly she realized what he was saying. Afraid to move lest she be wrong in her assumptions, she stared out across the land, her lips quivering.

  A warm, masculine hand slid along her jaw, and she broke. Sobbing, she turned into the arms that awaited her.

  “Ah, lass, let it out. Ye have kept yer dreams inside, wrote them in a story, but never allowed yerself to possess them. I would have ye be mine, if you would have me.”

  Edwina sobbed into his shirt and felt his gentle hand at the back of her head. He cradled her between strong shoulders, offering her his love. So it was true then.

  God had brought her back. She could let go, she could accept this man’s love. She pulled back, fearing yet knowing she must see his eyes.

  Green, and full of love, he shared with his look what she needed to know. It wasn’t her imagination or a made-up story. Her heart was afire with love for the man she’d tried not to love, the one she tried to put away from her for his own good. But he didn’t want to go.

  Suddenly her heart sank. Now that she loved him, she feared already that should she lose that love, she would die. But there was no turning back. Love required walking on the water... she knew that now. And if it meant walking on water, she would have to do it or die trying.

  Lord, help me to love him and Paige the way they need it most.

  “Lass, ye are thinking too much. I have asked ye twice.”

  Edwina looked up. “Will ye be my wife, Edwina?”

  He looked down at her from his height, and Edwina heard herself say, “Aye, Scot, I’ll be your wife.”

  “I’ll not ask ye again.” His words softened as his lips came down to hers. And for the first time, she kissed, really kissed, the man she loved.

  Afterward he reached down, slipped off her shoes, put them in his pockets, and pulled her alongside him, the wet spring grasses tickling her bare feet.

  Edwina looked at the green, green hills and knew she was home.

  Epilogue

  Days and nights of blissful happiness pas
sed for three years, Edwina in her castle, a man in her heart, a mother for Paige, and another wee one on the way.

  And her name on two books. She had loved and been loved enough to write more romance tales. Alex read them all and kissed her silly after she finished each one, saying he would never have known the love of a barefoot woman climbing on the ladder had she not been researching her first book.

  She’d climbed that ladder ten dozen times, all except for the last nine months. Alex had forbidden her to go traipsing up and down the thing until the lad was born. He insisted he would father a son.

  Twelve days after the due date, a son was born. The first of three. Paige was the only girl. She paid dearly, for as she grew, her brothers made it their life’s work to give her callers as much misery as she could stand. A bit more, them being stubborn like their father.

  Exactly twenty years after their marriage, and on the same day as her own wedding day, Edwina did see Paige become the bride. That had been one dream she never thought to realize. But Paige’s white gauzy dress blew in the wind as the knight came for his bride upon a horse... right on these very hills.

  Thank you for reading Edwina. I hope you enjoy her journey.

  Other books by Patricia Strefling.

  Cecelia

  Beyond Forgiveness

  Ireland Rose

  And soon Rose's Legacy