Plenty Good Room

by Cheri Paris Edwards

  When the minister looked into Tamara’s tear-stained face and asked if she wanted to join Hope Temple and accept Christ as her Lord and Savior, all she could do was nod yes. The Reverend Walker hugged Tamara tightly then, and though the moment was surreal to her, she felt safer and more secure than she ever remembered feeling before. There in front of the entire congregation, she rested her head on his broad shoulder and sobbed happily.

  40.

  Blindsided

  “Tamara, that girl of yours just doesn’t like me,” said Jayson while opening the car door for her in the parking lot of the Club Rapport, where they’d just arrived for a little dancing.

  Tamara had surprised herself by accepting his invitation to come out, but then, she’d enjoyed dancing when they’d come before, and so she decided to try it again tonight. Lynnette was unavailable, leaving the two of them on their own this evening.

  “Oh, it’s not that she doesn’t like you, Jay,” replied Tamara while cautiously maneuvering from the car to avoid sliding on an icy patch of sidewalk.

  “Watch your step, now, Tam,” Jayson said grabbing her elbow to help stabilize her as she stepped down and out of his new Chevy Blazer. Just last week he’d traded in his Malibu and pulled into work later that day in the shiny, black vehicle, with a huge smile on his face.

  “Your truck is really nice, Jay,” said Tamara.

  “I’m diggin’ her, too,” replied Jayson as he took a long glance at his new four-by-four. “And, unlike your little Sienna girl, my truck is vibin’ with me, too.”

  “Aw, Jayson, c’mon . . . Sienna likes you just fine.”

  “Well, what is it then, Tam?” he asked. “The girl talks to me like she can’t stand me, and I really do try to be polite and nice to her . . . ’specially now since I know that lil’ sistah girl can sing like that. Shoot, I want her to remember me in a good way when she signs that first recording contract,” he added mischievously.

  Tamara snatched her arm from him and gave him a look of teasing derision. “Jay, I’m surprised at you. Why, that’s triflin’!”

  Jayson gave her a look of feigned shock. “Well, listen to you. She’s rubbing off on you! Triflin’, huh, Tam?”

  Still laughing, they entered the club, and while the crowd was substantial this Wednesday evening, there were still plenty of open tables for the two of them to choose from.

  While trailing Jayson as he searched for a suitable stopping place for them, Tamara recognized the cool soprano saxophone of Marion Meadows filling the air. Along with their growing gospel music collection, she finally was purchasing some jazz CDs for herself as well, and Marion Meadows was one of her favorites.

  The mellow vocals were a little suggestive, but the musical accompaniment was excellent, and the smooth sounds made her want to dance. Besides this was a jazz club, and many of the songs did not have any lyrics at all, just sweet music, which is what she liked best anyway.

  “How about right here?” asked Jayson loudly while pointing to an isolated corner booth.

  Skeptically she replied, “Its a little dark, isn’t it?”

  “No, it’s fine to me—close to the dance floor and everything.”

  A bit reluctantly she agreed, “Well, okay, if you think so.”

  Jayson helped her out of her coat, whistling loudly once he saw the outfit she was wearing.

  Tamara’s clingy black knit skirt and sweater set was adorned with a small gold chain belt, which accented her curvy hips. A gray and black silk scarf was tied loosely around her neck, and the long skirt was deeply split in the back, revealing the shapely swell of her calves when she moved.

  Jayson stared at her openly, remarking in a low tone, “Girrrl, I ain’t never seen you wear nothin’ like this before.”

  Tamara’s deep-brown skin flushed red suddenly. She sat down quickly and smoothed her skirt over her legs nervously.

  “It was all Sienna’s idea,” she explained uncomfortably. “She picked it out when we went shopping the other day . . . She seemed to think it was a good choice for me.”

  His approval was still quite evident as he replied, “Well, for once I agree with little Miss Sienna. That outfit is slammin’, girl. It shows all your assets.” He gave her one long last glance before adding a bit flirtatiously, “Don’t you go nowhere, now! I’ll be right back; let me get our drinks.”

  Ignoring his teasing manner, Tamara nodded her head to the music while thinking of how comfortable she felt being here tonight. Reflectively she noted that since she had joined church the other week, she felt more relaxed than usual all the time. With a sudden smile then, Tamara realized she derived a special comfort from knowing that she was part of something larger than herself, and that she had something inside that was special and wonderful.

  After she had joined that day, people had crowded around her to congratulate her, but even in the haze of the moment she recognized Isaiah Perry’s and Denise Jackson’s faces. All her friends seemed happy; Jay and Lynn were smiling, and Sienna . . . well, the teen was overjoyed. The girl hugged her tightly and then said incredulously, “And you joined when I was singing, Tamara . . . when I was singing!”

  She smiled back at the girl and said, “Yes, Sienna when you were singing . . . I couldn’t help myself, because your voice moved me so much. Sienna, you truly have an amazing gift.”

  The following Sunday, after services Tamara was baptized, and with her eyes closed tightly, she held her breath while the Reverend Walker laid her gently back in the cold water. When he brought her up and Tamara burst sputtering from the water into the warm air, she felt ebullient and refreshed, as though she’d left some unnecessary part of her old self down there in the cold water.

  “Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?” asked Jayson as he returned with their drinks.

  “No alcohol, right?” she asked before taking a sip.

  “Nope, just a virgin drink, like you asked for. You seemed deep in thought, though, Tam. What were you thinking about?”

  “Just about the other Sunday, that’s all.”

  “When you joined the church, you mean?”

  “Yes. It’s all been so strange, Jay. Ever since Sienna moved in with me, so many different things have been happening lately that it’s kinda hard to keep up with all of the changes.”

  “Well, Tam, getting to know the Lord is a good thing. I am far from a perfect person, but even I know that we all need God in our lives . . . There are so many times in my own life when I don’t know how I would’ve made it without my faith in Him. Knowing Him for yourself and having Him in your life makes the difficult days much easier.”

  “I’m beginning to understand that, Jay.”

  “The best thang about it all is, even if you didn’t really know Him before, He still loved and knew you. It is amazing how many times He carries us when we can’t carry ourselves.”

  Pondering that thought silently, the two of them enjoyed the music and sipped their drinks quietly.

  Glancing up at Jay, Tamara was shocked to see that he was looking at her, and the intensity in his eyes made his gaze different from usual tonight. Slightly stunned, she asked, “Jay, why are you looking at me like that?”

  Jayson was nursing a double shot of Hennessy, and the warm liquor boosted his courage, enabling him to say to Tamara what he’d been keeping inside for a while. Though he’d always been attracted to her, he had always convinced himself they were meant to be just friends. At least until he saw Isaiah Perry looking at her so intently at church the other week. For some reason, when the possibility of losing her to another became apparent, his feelings for her kept rising to the surface, and now it was too difficult to hold them inside any longer.

  Jay’s gold bracelet shimmered on his smooth brown wrist as he stirred his drink with one hand before glancing up at her again. “Tamara, what would you say if I told you that I would like this to be a real date?”

  Tamara looked at him uncertainly, as if it took a moment or two for the meaning of what he was saying to tru
ly sink in. “A real date? . . . you and I?”

  Jay’s eyes were on his brown drink, scrupulously avoiding her eyes. “Yes, Tam, a real date . . . you and me. For a while now, I’ve been wanting to tell you how much I like you.”

  “What do you mean, ‘like me,’ Jay?”

  After another long, slow sip of his drink, he stared directly into her eyes and replied, “Tam, I like you a lot and maybe what I’m feeling is even stronger than just ‘like’; you know?” In a rush, words poured from his lips as he moved closer to her, and she smelled the pungent odor of the liquor from the drink on his breath. “It’s just that you are so beautiful . . . so naturally beautiful to me, and you’re also intelligent and so very sweet. I keep thinkin’ you are the type of girl I would like to spend my whole life with.”

  Tamara tried to disguise her shock. Though Jay was good-looking and lots of fun to be with, she’d never thought of him as more than a friend. Even though he flirted with her now and then, she always thought he was just teasing since she was aware that she was different from the more flamboyant type of girl she usually saw him coupled with.

  Stammering uneasily, she replied, “I—I—I don’t know what to say, Jay. I’ve just never thought of you and me in that way.”

  Jayson turned from her then and, feigning nonchalance, bobbed his head to the music while his face became a mask of unconcern. He shifted gears. “So, do you like this Isaiah Perry guy? Is he your type?”

  Thrown completely off balance now, Tamara answered falteringly, “Oh, I don’t know, Jay. Recently, it just so happens that we run into each other now and then, and I guess we are kinda like friends, you know?”

  His glance was skeptical. “Friends, uh? He wasn’t looking at you like you were just a friend at church the other week, Tam. You can tell me the truth, you know.”

  Though uncomfortable with his insistent attitude, Tamara tried to sound lighthearted when she replied, “C’mon, Jay, I am telling you the truth. We are nothing more than friends.” In a way, though, Tamara knew that she wasn’t being totally honest with him, since each time she saw Isaiah Perry or heard his voice on the telephone, her heart danced in her chest and suddenly she felt happier than she had only moments before. But since she didn’t know for sure what Isaiah thought of her once she put her own feelings aside they were no more than friends . . . no more.

  Jayson set his now empty glass on the table and grabbed her hand. “C’mon, girl, let’s dance. That’s what we came here for, right?”

  “Right!” agreed Tamara, relieved that the awkward moment had passed and glad the uncomfortable conversation was evidently over.

  As the mellow melody led them, they whirled, stepped, and danced together to the sounds of Boney James’s “Body Language.” To her surprise, she hadn’t forgotten how to step with the music, and she moved confidently as Jayson twirled her and they glided to soaring horns and tinkling keyboards. Breathless with excitement, she smiled up at him when the song ended, and did not protest when he pulled her close for the next song.

  “I like this,” he said in a low, hoarse voice.

  Thrown off by the unfamiliar huskiness in his tone, she was unsure whether he meant he liked being close to her or liked the song playing now, and Tamara felt her own discomfort start to rise again.

  Jayson held her tightly as they swayed to the jazzy, melodious voice of Boz Scaggs filling the room, but when Tamara accidentally caught the reflection of the two of them in the large mirror covering the wall behind them, Jayson’s eyes were closed tightly, and he seemed lost in another place.

  Unhappily, Tamara realized as she watched him that their earlier conversation was not really over. Right now it looked as if Jayson did have deeper feelings for her than she’d ever imagined. Still, she was hopeful that it was all some sort of misunderstanding, because if it was not, they were on two different wavelengths, and it was possible that their relationship would never be the same.

  41.

  Caught Unaware

  “There’s our table over there,” said Lynnette, using her sparkly gold-beaded evening bag to point out their seats across the crowded conference room.

  Tonight was the annual Foster Parent Dinner and she, Tamara, and several other Care employees were in attendance, representing the agency. Once Tamara spotted the table, she immediately saw Joan Erickson and Jayson sitting there with some of their other coworkers. Despite her hopes, there was a strain in her relations with Jay ever since his revelations during their dancing excursion the other week, and she was doubtful whether the discomfort would be dispelled this evening.

  Oh, well, I’m not going to let anything ruin my evening, she thought determinedly. This event only occurred once a year, and it was the one special night when all the state agencies came together to honor foster parents and reward those who had been deemed worthy of acknowledgment. In fact, her mentor and friend Denise Jackson and Denise’s husband, Leonard, had been honored with several different awards over the years, in recognition of the couple’s continuing commitment to kids without homes.

  She glanced at her friend approvingly. “Lynn you really outdid yourself tonight—that outfit is beautiful.”

  “You mean this old thing?” asked Lynnette, tossing her a teasing smile over her shoulder. Tamara could tell that Lynn was quite aware she was looking good, though. Her full-legged, flowing black silk pants and matching sleeveless buttonhole top were covered by a flowing caftan of brilliantly printed handspun silk, painted in bold African colors of deep gold, burgundy, and brown. Tonight, instead of her usual sterling silver, she wore ornately styled ethnic-design gold earrings that matched her cuff bracelet and wide-woven gold ring.

  Her trademark microbraids were lifted high on her head in a bun of sorts, with tendrils of curled hair strategically left free to hang loosely around her face and neck. The hairstyle suited her face perfectly, accenting her natural gifts of high cheekbones and large eyes. Tamara couldn’t help but notice how Lynnette moved through the tables with ease, which confirmed her suspicion that Lynn was more confident than usual about her appearance tonight.

  At their table Tamara read the small place cards sitting tent-like at each place setting, and was instantly relieved to see that hers and Lynn’s had been placed next to each other.

  As if reading her mind, Lynnette said snidely out of the side of her mouth, “Girrl, I’m glad they got us by each other, ’cause it’s some of these folks I really didn’t want to be sittin’ by, if you know what I mean. Shoot, I don’t even want to be bothered with them at work, let alone after hours.”

  Joan Erickson offered the two women a tight smile before remarking, “Now, don’t you both look nice? As always, Lynnette, you look just gorgeous, and Tamara, you look very elegant tonight as well.”

  With her usual sassy aplomb Lynn threw her red-nailed hand out at their boss, smiling widely as she replied, “Joan, girrl, thank you. This old thang is just somethin’ I pulled out the back of the closet and threw on. Now, my girl, Tamara, she’s lookin’ good.”

  Tamara lowered her head to cover her smile at Lynnette’s sauciness—only she would have the verve to call Joan “girl” in front of all their coworkers. She was truly one of a kind. Tamara also felt embarrassed—she was always surprised and thrown off guard by compliments about her appearance. Tonight she thought herself underdressed to say the least. Her classically styled deep-violet form-fitting knit dress was topped by a beaded black cardigan sweater and completed with plain black pumps and a matching purse.

  “Tamara has quite a figure, and so whatever she wears, she wears very well,” said Joan, looking at her with the same tight smile on her face.

  “I know that’s right,” added Jayson. Actually, he had been uncharacteristically quiet up until then, and Tamara had been hoping that he’d had second thoughts about his revelations the other night. However, his comment made it clear to her that his state of mind had not changed since they were at the club. Troubled by this realization, Tamara tossed a quick glance
his way, tightening her lips imperceptibly without saying a word. Sighing, she pulled out the chair next to Lynnette and sat down hoping that, at least, the uncomfortable subject would not come up again tonight.

  Thoughts of Jayson soon faded as she and Lynnette chatted. Dinner was served by bored-looking young men and women all attired in white. The food was the usual fare for this type of event: chicken Kiev, rice with vegetables, and green beans. Plenty of fresh bread and rolls with butter were available, and stacked on trays around them were several types of sweet treats for dessert.

  Lynnette took a piece of bread, turned, and passed the plate to her, asking, “So, are you still dwellin’ in the glow from joining church and accepting the Lord into your life?”

  “The glow?” asked Tamara quizzically.

  Jayson stuck his head in front of Lynn’s, replying, “When you first join church, you get kinda caught up in the emotion of the moment—you know, feeling good and everything.”

  “Yeah, that’s it, the afterglow,” agreed Lynnette. She pulled the warm bread apart and buttered it. “Girrl, the last thang I need is all these carbs . . . Eating this bread is just like applying fat directly to these hips of mine,” she laughed.

  Jayson continued, “Lynn, don’t nobody want to hear about your hips, tonight. Let’s just eat, drink, and be merry and all that, okay?” Then he turned his attention to Tamara. “Back to ‘the glow’ . . . Tam, it’s the part after that emotional day that’s hard. When you tryin’ every day to live life on the good foot, according to the Word of God.”

  “I know that’s right,” Lynn agreed again.

  Tamara took a roll and chewed the warm bread thoughtfully. They were right about one thing; she was riding high. It was so unlike her even to have walked up there and showed her emotions in front of the entire church as she did. Even today she was unsure of what really had happened . . . Maybe she was still in some sort of emotional daze.