Bumper Book of Humphrey's Tiny Tales 1

by Betty G. Birney

  Ahead of me, I saw something very long and very skinny.

  It reminded me of a worm, but it was much bigger.

  It was also bright green and it curved all around, just like a snake.

  ‘Eeek!’ I shouted.

  There was no doubt about it.

  I was headed straight towards a great big green snake!

  I ran and ran inside my hamster ball, trying to steer it away from the snake.

  Suddenly, I was blinded by a bright light.

  ‘There you are, Humphrey!’ Miranda shouted.

  She scooped up my hamster ball and held it in her hand.

  ‘THANKS-THANKS-THANKS!’ I squeaked. ‘You saved my life.’

  ‘Don’t be afraid,’ Miranda said. ‘That’s just the garden hose. It can’t hurt you.’

  Whew! So the fur-raising snake was really just a harmless garden hose.

  But I had to admit that creepy-crawly creatures were a little bit scary after all!

  The girls decided it was time to go in the tent.

  Miranda brought me along.

  It was dark outside, but it was light inside.

  There were four sleeping bags in the tent and a small wooden table.

  Miranda put me in my cage on the table.

  *

  There was a tall electric lantern on the table and the girls had their torches.

  Heidi taught her friends a funny thing called Morse code.

  She had cards with dots and dashes on them.

  The dots and dashes could be used to spell out words.

  Then the girls would use their torches to flash each other messages on the tent ceiling by using long and short flashes.

  The short flashes were dots.

  The long ones were dashes.

  Sayeh spelled the word ‘hello’.

  Heidi spelled the word ‘camping’.

  Miranda spelled a really l-o-n-g word.

  I didn’t know what it was because I didn’t have a card.

  Suddenly Gail shouted out, ‘Humphrey’ and everyone laughed.

  I’d never seen my name in Morse code before.

  Next, Heidi switched on a big box that played music.

  Soon the girls were all dancing and acting silly.

  I did a little dancing myself.

  Dancing made me forget all about creepy-crawly creatures.

  The music was LOUD-LOUD-LOUD.

  But suddenly, I couldn’t hear the music any more, because I heard a noise that was even louder.

  It was a whooping, howling, laughing kind of noise.

  It was coming from outside the tent.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Heidi asked as she switched off the music.

  ‘I think it’s coming from Richie’s yard,’ Gail said.

  Richie was also in Room 26 and he lived next door to Heidi.

  The girls peeked out through the tent flap.

  ‘Art and Seth are there with Richie,’ Miranda said. ‘And they have a tent set up in the garden, too.’

  The noise was unsqueakably loud as the boys shouted and shrieked and ran around waving their arms.

  Heidi turned up the music.

  As the music inside the tent got louder, the boys got louder, too.

  ‘That’s it,’ Heidi said, turning off the music. ‘I’m going to tell them to be quiet.’

  Miranda and Gail went outside with Heidi.

  Sayeh took me out of my cage and gently held me in her hands.

  ‘You come too, Humphrey,’ she said.

  When we got near the fence, Heidi shouted, ‘Could you please be quiet? We’re having a party over here.’

  ‘And we’re having a party over here,’ Richie shouted back.

  Then Art noticed me.

  ‘Hi Humphrey,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you come over here?’

  ‘Yes,’ Seth said. ‘You’re a boy, too. You belong here.’

  It’s true, I am a boy.

  But Mrs Brisbane sent me home with Heidi for the weekend.

  It was my job to stay with Heidi.

  Art and Seth started making whooping and howling noises again.

  ‘Aren’t you girls afraid of the dark?’ Richie asked.

  ‘I know they’re afraid of spiders,’ Art said.

  ‘We’re not!’ Heidi answered.

  Then the boys started talking about the bad things that might be outside at night.

  Art made a scary face. ‘Creepy-crawly things,’ he said.

  ‘Howling, growling things,’ Seth said.

  ‘Ghost and goblin things,’ Richie said. ‘Ooooo.’

  Miranda folded her arms and walked up to the fence.

  ‘Girls aren’t afraid of anything,’ she said.

  ‘Right!’ Gail, Heidi, and Sayeh agreed.

  ‘Right!’ I squeaked.

  Hamsters aren’t afraid of many things, except large, furry creatures with huge teeth like dogs and cats.

  I’m not sure about the other scary things the boys described.

  ‘Forget the boys,’ Heidi said. ‘Let’s have some fun.’

  *

  Once we were back in the tent, Sayeh put me back in my cage again.

  The girls tried to ignore the noisy boys.

  They sat around the lantern and made bracelets out of colourful pieces of string.

  ‘We should make a friendship bracelet for Humphrey,’ Heidi said.

  Gail giggled. ‘It would have to be a tiny one.’

  ‘But he is our friend,’ Sayeh said in her soft voice.

  ‘YES-YES-YES!’ I squeaked, which made Gail giggle again.

  Sayeh tied a friendship bracelet to my cage, which was unsqueakably nice.

  After a while, the boys stopped making noise.

  It was nice and quiet.

  Maybe it was a little too quiet.

  ‘I guess the boys got tired,’ Heidi said.

  ‘Maybe they’re afraid of the dark,’ Gail said.

  I heard some shuffling and whispering kinds of sounds.

  ‘Something’s out there,’ Sayeh whispered.

  ‘It sounds like it’s near the tent,’ Miranda said. ‘Let’s see.’

  The girls quietly picked up their torches and tiptoed to the tent flap.

  ‘There’s something in the grass,’ Gail whispered.

  ‘It’s a … great … big … snake!’ Heidi shouted.

  ‘Eeek!’ the girls screamed.

  They raced towards the house, leaving me all alone in the tent.

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked. ‘Take me with you!’

  By then they were too far away to hear me.

  So I did what any small hamster would do.

  I hid in my bedding and tried to be very still.

  It wasn’t easy, because I was quivering and shivering.

  Then I heard laughter.

  I don’t think snakes laugh, so I poked my head out of the bedding.

  ‘Did you see those girls run away?’ I heard a voice say.

  It was Seth talking.

  The other boys laughed.

  I climbed to the highest point of my cage so I could see through the tent flap.

  There was a snake outside.

  It was VERY-VERY-VERY long.

  It had a big pointed tongue sticking out of its mouth.

  It was also very bright green.

  And it wasn’t moving at all.

  I could hear the boys laughing wildly.

  ‘I didn’t think girls could run so fast,’ Richie hooted.

  ‘Or scream so loudly,’ Seth said.

  Art howled with laughter. ‘At a plastic snake! I thought girls aren’t afraid of anything!’

  Aha! So the snake wasn’t real.

  It was a fake snake the boys had placed in the garden.

  ‘That’s not nice!’ I squeaked but the boys were making too much noise to hear me.

  I was upset that the boys had tried to scare the girls.

  But I was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY that the long green snake wasn’t real!

  Then
it was quiet again.

  I knew there wasn’t a real snake in the garden, but I didn’t like being alone in the tent.

  What if the girls forgot about me?

  What if they never came back?

  I heard noises in the grass.

  A light was moving around the garden.

  I was about to dive under my bedding again when I heard Heidi’s dad chuckle.

  ‘So that’s the problem!’ he said.

  I climbed up to the top of my cage and looked out through the tent flap.

  Mr Hopper was holding the plastic snake in his hands.

  ‘Girls!’ he shouted. ‘It’s safe to come outside again.’

  A minute later, Heidi and her friends appeared.

  ‘Here’s your scary snake,’ Mr Hopper told them. ‘It’s made of plastic.’

  ‘Those boys are awful,’ Miranda said.

  Heidi agreed. ‘That was mean.’

  ‘It wouldn’t be a good camping night without a good scare,’ Heidi’s dad said. ‘You’ll be safe now.’

  The girls returned to the tent and sat around the table again.

  ‘I’m sorry we ran off without you,’ Sayeh said. ‘We were so scared.’

  ‘Let’s think of a way to get back at the boys,’ Heidi said.

  ‘We could throw the snake back in Richie’s garden,’ Miranda suggested.

  ‘That wouldn’t fool them,’ Gail said. ‘It has to be something really scary.’

  The girls were quiet again as they tried to think of a plan.

  I tried to think of a plan, too, but I didn’t really like thinking about scary things.

  After a while, Heidi turned on the music again.

  ‘Let’s not let the boys ruin our fun,’ she said.

  Soon, the girls were dancing to the music and laughing happily.

  Then, Heidi’s mum came out to the tent.

  ‘Time to get into your pyjamas and brush your teeth,’ she said.

  Heidi grabbed the big lantern as the girls followed Mrs Hopper back to the house.

  After they left, it was quiet in the tent.

  It was lonely in the tent.

  It was unsqueakably dark in the tent!

  Once in a while, I heard the boys laughing and whispering from Richie’s garden.

  ‘Girls!’ I heard Seth say.

  ‘Let’s take the …’ Then Art said something I couldn’t understand.

  All the boys laughed.

  Richie said, ‘That will scare them!’

  It sounded as if the boys were planning to scare the girls again.

  But since the girls weren’t around, they’d only end up scaring me.

  As I sat there listening in the dark, I noticed that Gail’s torch was still on the table.

  I thought about the lock-that-doesn’t-lock on my cage.

  Humans always think it’s tightly locked, but I have a secret way I can open it.

  I knew it would be dangerous to be outside my cage, especially in the garden.

  But if I could just flick on Gail’s torch, the tent would be light and not so scary.

  I twisted the lock and the door opened.

  I headed straight for the torch, which wasn’t very far away.

  Getting to the torch was easy.

  Turning the torch on wasn’t easy at all.

  There was a button on the side which I pushed and pulled.

  The light didn’t come on, so I jiggled it and joggled it.

  I heard a little ‘Click’.

  Suddenly, light shone out of the torch.

  I felt much better, sitting in the big circle of light.

  But as I turned to go back to my cage, I looked at the side of the tent.

  To my alarm, I saw a very large, very shaggy, VERY-VERY-VERY scary thing.

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked.

  I raced towards my cage.

  The scary thing raced across the side of the tent.

  I turned and ran in the opposite direction.

  The scary thing turned and ran in the opposite direction.

  I stopped and sat still.

  The scary thing stopped and sat still.

  THUMPITY-THUMPITY-THUMP!

  My heart was pounding until I realised that the scary thing was my very own shadow!

  I could hardly believe my eyes.

  Who would think that a small hamster like me could look so large and scary?

  I heard the boys scuffling outside the tent.

  ‘Sssh!’ Art said.

  ‘Sssh-sssh!’ Richie said.

  I knew they were planning something creepy and crawly.

  But maybe I could scare them first!

  I stood in front of the torch and got up on my tippy-toes.

  Then I lifted my paws in the air and opened my mouth wide.

  I was happy to see that my shadow didn’t look like a hamster at all.

  It looked like a huge and horrible monster.

  I looked like a huge and horrible monster.

  It was fun to look big for a change.

  I opened my mouth even wider and roared.

  Of course, all that came out was ‘SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK’.

  It was quiet outside.

  I figured the boys hadn’t seen my shadow yet.

  I needed to get their attention, so I looked around.

  Near me was the switch on the box that made music.

  I turned the switch and music blared.

  I pushed a little knob and the music played louder.

  I reached way up and pawed the air like a scary monster.

  And I crossed my toes and hoped that my plan would work.

  ‘It’s … a … monster!’ Richie shouted.

  ‘Run for your life!’ Art screamed.

  ‘Help me!!’ Seth shrieked.

  They howled and yelled.

  They shouted and screeched.

  No matter how loud I screamed, I could never sound as loud as those boys did.

  As I pawed the air and tried to look big, I heard footsteps running across Richie’s garden.

  ‘Help! Help!’ The shrieks moved toward Richie’s house.

  The garden was quiet again.

  I relaxed and stopped acting like a monster.

  So, boys were afraid of some things, too!

  I hoped the boys weren’t too scared, but I was glad that my plan had worked.

  Then I heard footsteps coming towards my tent.

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked.

  I knew it was probably just Mr Hopper, but I didn’t want to be caught outside of my cage.

  Then, my friends would find out about my secret lock-that-doesn’t-lock!

  And if they did, they might decide to fix it.

  Then I’d be stuck in my cage for ever and ever!

  So I made a dash for my cage and pulled the door closed.

  ‘What’s going on out here?’ Mr Hopper asked.

  He poked his head in the tent flap and looked around.

  The torch was still on and so was the music.

  My shadow was on the wall, but now it was my shadow inside the cage.

  Mr Hopper laughed when he saw it.

  ‘I think I see what happened,’ he said.

  He left and came back again with Heidi, Gail, Sayeh and Miranda.

  ‘Are you sure it’s safe out here?’ Heidi asked. ‘I could hear those boys screaming from inside the house.’

  Gail nodded. ‘I saw them running across the garden.’

  ‘I’ll show you what scared them,’ Mr Hopper said. ‘Humphrey cast a shadow on the wall of the tent.’

  He took them around the outside of the tent.

  ‘It looks huge!’ Miranda said.

  ‘It looks like a lion in a cage,’ Sayeh whispered.

  ‘But it wouldn’t scare me,’ Heidi said.

  ‘Me neither,’ Gail agreed. ‘Silly boys.’

  The girls came back into the tent.

  ‘I’m not afraid to be out here,’ Heidi said.

  ‘Girls aren’t afraid
of anything,’ Miranda added.

  ‘Girls aren’t afraid of anything!’ the girls all repeated.

  ‘It’s funny, but I don’t remember leaving the torch on,’ Heidi said. ‘Or the music.’

  Sayeh, Gail and Miranda didn’t remember either.

  I didn’t squeak up and tell them I had turned them on.

  The girls stood between the lantern and the side of the tent and made special shadows, like pictures on the wall.

  Gail made a crocodile using her hand.

  I was just a little bit afraid when she snapped the crocodile’s jaws.

  Miranda made a bunny rabbit with her hand.

  It had tall, floppy ears.

  Heidi made a dog using her hands.

  She wiggled his ears and made his mouth open and shut.

  ‘Woof-woof,’ she barked, which made Gail giggle.

  ‘It’s your turn now, Humphrey,’ Miranda said.

  I got up on my tippy-toes and raised my paws in the air, like a monster.

  The girls saw my shadow and laughed and laughed.

  I guess girls aren’t afraid of anything after all.

  When it was time for the girls to go to sleep, Heidi’s parents came out to the tent.

  Mrs Hopper tucked the girls in their sleeping bags.

  I settled down in my bedding.

  ‘Now, get some sleep, girls,’ Mrs Hopper said as she left the tent. ‘You too, Humphrey.’

  *

  Once we were alone, the tent was QUIET-QUIET-QUIET.

  Outside the tent, things weren’t so quiet.

  First we heard something say, ‘Whoo-whoooo.’

  Gail sat up. ‘What’s that?’ she asked.