House of Belonging

by Andrea Thome

  Van kissed the top of Laina’s head and held her close. “Thanks, lass. I’ll go to Oregon when the time is right, and you and Logan will always be welcome. But regardless of where I end up, I want you to know that I’ve got all the family I’ll ever need, right here in Aspen.”

  Logan heard his phone chime in the cup holder as he pulled his Bronco into Laina’s driveway. Picking it up, he read the text from Buck.

  Buck: What time should I expect you?

  Logan: I’m dropping something at Laina’s now. Be there in twenty minutes. All ok?

  Buck: Yes. See you soon. Welcome back.

  Logan knew that Buck was a man of few words when it came to texting. It was unusual to get a text from him at all, so Logan hoped that everything really was OK back at the ranch. He got out of the truck and grabbed Laina’s bag from the back seat. She’d told him where she hid her house key by the back door, so once he’d located it, he used it to unlock the kitchen door and lugged her suitcase inside. Logan debated about whether he should take the heavy bag up to her bedroom for her and then decided that it would be OK if he did. He hauled it upstairs so that Laina wouldn’t have to and left it sitting in the hallway at the top of the landing.

  On his way back down the steps, a framed pencil sketch on the wall caught his eye. He flipped on the light at the bottom of the stairs to get a better look. It was a very rough charcoal sketch of Laina, in profile, but the artist had captured her perfectly, even so. Logan peered closely at the signature.

  DLaird. 2012

  Van. Logan shook his head in amazement. He wondered what else he didn’t yet know about his mysterious new friend.

  Back in the kitchen, Logan left a quick note for Laina on a scratch pad near the fridge before locking up the house and replacing her hidden key. He shot off a text to his brother-inlaw as he walked to the truck.

  Logan: Quick beer tonight?

  Garrett: Definitely. Come over whenever. We can hang on the porch.

  Logan: Cool. See you around sunset.

  Logan cranked the tunes on the short drive back to his ranch. His tires kicked up minimal dust when he pulled into the drive, thanks to the morning rains that had left everything looking extra lush and green. He smiled at the sight of the horses in the pasture, happy to be home where the animals outnumbered the people. California had been fun, but this was more his speed.

  He carried his bag into the house and stopped to grab a bottled water from the fridge on his way out to the barn. He was crossing the yard when he noticed Buck coming out of the pasture, latching the gate behind him. Logan could tell as soon as he saw his friend’s face that something was off.

  “Buck? Everything OK?” Logan walked toward him, his brow furrowed. Buck removed his hat, wiping the sweat from his brow, his face pale underneath his whiskers despite his ever-present tan.

  “Welcome home, son. Nothing’s wrong with the horses or the ranch. Rest your mind. It’s a personal problem I’m dealing with at the moment. And before you ask, my health’s just fine, thank you.” Buck hesitated, unsure if the timing was right to discuss his news with Logan.

  “Do you have anywhere you have to be right now? I’d like to have a few minutes of your time if I might.”

  Logan nodded, gesturing toward his office in the barn. They entered together, and Logan sat down behind his desk while Buck settled into the overstuffed chair opposite him, fiddling nervously with the hat he still held in his gnarled hands.

  Logan could feel the man’s discomfort. “Buck, whatever it is, I can handle it, but you’ve got me worried. What’s going on?” Logan waited for his friend to answer.

  After a moment, Buck found the words. “Remember how I told you I’ve been seeing someone? Well, it’s about that. I told you she was shy, which is why I haven’t brought her around while you were home. Logan, we’ve only been dating a couple of months, but I’ve finally started to feel like I’m alive again, for the first time since I lost Annie, and it’s because of her.”

  Logan smiled. “That doesn’t sound so bad. I have to tell you, I’ve noticed the difference in you. So what’s wrong?”

  Buck sighed. “Well, earlier this week right after you left for California, I found out something about her, and we had a falling-out. I broke it off and convinced myself it was for the best. But these past few days have been hell. I haven’t eaten or slept, and she’s desperate to change my mind, despite this thing I know about her that I’m not sure we can overcome. God help me, Logan, I don’t know if I can let her go.”

  Logan was puzzled. “I guess my advice to you would be to listen to your heart, Buck. If you feel like you can forgive her, and it’s something from her past, that’s all that matters, right? I’ve never seen you so happy, and I’d hate for you to throw that all away. People change. Is it possible she’s better for what she’s gone through?”

  Buck stared at Logan before shaking his head slowly. “I knew you’d say something like that. Or I hoped you would.” Buck stood and began to pace the office, running his hands through the thick silver and black hair on his head. “I want to believe she’s a good person. I know she is. But she’s done some things to people in her life—things she’s fully admitted and talked to me about—that I’m not comfortable with. I know she’s remorseful, and she wants to make amends. And I agree with you. People can change. I haven’t known her long, but she’s either a world-class actress, or she’s a woman who wants to spend the time she has left in her life making up for her transgressions.” Buck was fighting back tears. “And she also wants to spend that time with me, and I with her.”

  Logan sighed while standing up and walking toward his friend, then clasped him on the shoulder. “Sounds to me like you have your answer, Buck. Who among us hasn’t deserved a second chance at some point?”

  Buck blanched. “It’s not that simple, Logan. There’s something else, and I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

  Logan waited, the air in the room thick with anticipation.

  “Her name is Jan. Janice Matthews, Logan. The woman I’ve been seeing. She admitted to me earlier this week that she’s your mother.”

  Buck watched Logan’s expression carefully, wishing he could spare him the pain that he knew was inevitable. Logan sat back down and looked like he might be sick. Buck hurried to explain.

  “I want you to know that I had no idea who she was until this week. We met a couple of months ago at the bookstore in town and ended up having coffee together. She told me she’d moved to town to be near her son but that he was angry with her and didn’t want anything to do with her. I’ve been trying to persuade her to reach out to him, but she told me their relationship was irreparable and that it was enough for her to live close to him, so I finally gave up. There is such a sadness in her eyes, Logan. She’s like a wounded bird. I don’t know what happened between you, but I do believe she loves you and only wants you to be happy. This week, she told me everything: that she’d found out that we worked together and that she’d purposely flirted with me at the bookstore that first afternoon. She admitted that she only went out with me at first so that she could find a way to be close to you. But we fell in love, Logan. This thing between us. It’s real. My heart broke when she told me the truth, and what hurt the most was the look on her face when I broke it off. She knew I’d choose you, because she knows how good you are. People choose people like you, Logan. You’re worthy, and she feels like she isn’t. But she’s wrong, Logan. She’s worthy too, even though mistakes have been made. She told me that she’s been writing to you for months but that you’ve hardened your heart against her. That doesn’t sound like you at all. Is it too bold of me to ask you to meet with her? Do you think you could find it in your heart to hear what she has to say? For me?”

  Logan sat perfectly still while he listened to what Buck was telling him, but he was having a hard time wrapping his brain around the information. My mother is in Aspen? She knows where I live and infiltrated my life without me knowing for months? The last time they�
��d spoken he’d lied and told her that Willow wasn’t his biological sister after all and that he therefore had no claim to Willow’s inheritance and neither did Janice. She’d faded away for the most part and hadn’t tried to make physical contact with Logan in the year and a half since. He’d pushed that hurt from her rejection down deep and hadn’t allowed himself to feel it since, but it all came rushing back with Buck’s story.

  Logan could see that his friend had been used, and that Buck was hurting too, so Logan chose his words carefully. “I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, Buck, but I’m in shock. I’m sorry you’re in the middle of this, and if I could turn back the clock and change the course of history, I would. I need some time to process this situation, and I’m sure you do too. I can’t promise you anything. There is a lot of history between us. I hope you understand.” Logan stood up and took a deep breath. “Can we revisit this after I’ve had time to consider things?”

  Buck nodded, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Of course. I’m so sorry, Logan. I know you just got back, but I couldn’t keep it from you, even for a day. It was all I could do not to call you in California when I first found out, but I didn’t want to ruin your trip.”

  Logan was quiet, not sure what to say, so Buck picked up his hat and set it on his head, turning to leave the office. Before he did, he had one piece of advice for the young man he’d come to love like his own.

  “All I’m asking you is to think about the advice you gave me before you knew who she was. You are a rare person, Logan. Yours is a forgiving heart. Don’t let the actions of someone else harden that part of you. You’re family to me, son. Janice was right. If you ask me to, I’ll choose you. But I hope it won’t come to that. I love you both. So much.” Buck nodded his head and turned to go, leaving Logan standing alone in his office, the life he’d just been so sure about in complete and utter chaos.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-TWO

  Logan felt like he moved through the rest of the day in slow motion. Buck had taken their early-afternoon group out on a trail ride, leaving Logan behind with his thoughts. He led Diamond out into the paddock to graze and stood watching as the horse enjoyed the late-afternoon sun that glinted off his slick brown coat.

  Logan had no idea what to do. He’d denied himself the desire for any kind of relationship with his mother after having not heard from her (besides the unopened letters) once she found out that Logan wasn’t entitled to a big inheritance. He wondered if she’d somehow discovered that he was in fact Willow’s brother and that Willow had split the money with Logan after all. Is that why she’d come to town? It was possible that she was after the money and not a relationship with Logan. He knew he had to tread carefully in order to find out whether his mother had ulterior motives. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

  Laina: Hi

  Logan: Hi.

  Laina: I’m missing you already.

  Logan: Me too. It was all I could do not to crawl into your bed and await your arrival.

  Laina: You should have. How’s your day going?

  Logan: It’s been interesting. I’ll tell you all about it in the morning. 9?

  Laina: If I can wait that long. Gotta run. Xoxo

  Logan: xo

  Logan stuffed the phone into his back pocket and checked his watch. He wanted to finish grooming Diamond and have his other barn chores done before Buck returned so that they could avoid an uncomfortable encounter until he’d had more time to think.

  A couple of hours later, Logan had finished up and was about to walk down the road to Willow and Garrett’s when he heard a car pull out of the driveway. He saw Buck’s pickup turning out onto Maroon Creek Road, headed for town. Logan’s stomach had been in knots all afternoon, knowing how the situation must have been weighing on Buck too. Logan didn’t want to see his friend gutted, but he didn’t know the best way to prevent that from happening. He hoped that Garrett and Willow could give him some advice. He locked the door and headed down the steps toward his sister’s house.

  Garrett was already on the porch when Logan walked up the driveway. He reached down into a galvanized bucket where he’d iced down several bottles of beer and uncapped one for Logan, handing it to him once he’d climbed the front steps.

  “Cheers, man. Glad to have you back. How was SoCal?” Garrett nodded toward the Adirondack chair next to him and Logan sat down, taking a long sip of the cold drink.

  “It was amazing.” He was about to go on, but they heard the screen door creak and looked up to see Willow poking her head out.

  “You’d better not spill any details without me!” She leaned down to kiss her brother on the cheek before moving to perch on the arm of Garrett’s chair. “So. How’d it go?”

  Logan exhaled. “It went great, actually. Laina is everything I thought she was and then some. And her family is awesome. You can’t believe the fancy party they put on for the opening of their wellness center. You would have loved it, Willow.”

  Willow smiled. “Full disclosure: I googled it. It looks like a cool place. Maybe Garrett and I need to take a trip to see it—for research, of course.”

  Garrett laughed. “I’m always up for a trip with you, babe. And if this guy’s expression is any indication, I’m guessing it was pretty romantic?”

  Logan raised his eyebrows. “That it was. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m doing sitting here with the two of you. No offense, but I haven’t been able to get her off my mind all day.”

  Willow clapped her hands together. “Oh, Logan. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me to hear you say that. You deserve to be with someone interesting and smart and who might just challenge you a little bit.”

  Logan chuckled. “She’s all that and more. I’m excited to see where this goes, and I can’t tell you the last time I’ve felt that. If ever, really.” His face grew serious, and he took another long drink before speaking. “There is something else I wanted to talk to you guys about, though.”

  Willow stood and pulled a third chair over to sit across from Logan. “What’s up?”

  Logan stared across the yard, watching the light from the fireflies flicker against the dusky evening sky. “My mom is here. In Aspen.”

  Logan heard Willow’s sharp intake of breath and turned to see the shock on her face.

  “Why? How?”

  Logan shook his head. “You won’t believe this. She’s been seeing Buck for the past couple of months on the sly. He just told me this morning. He didn’t know who she was until she admitted it to him earlier this week.”

  Willow was slack-jawed. “Oh my God, Logan. I don’t even know what to say.”

  Logan set down his empty beer bottle and reached into the tub for a second one, the sound of the cap twisting off punctuating the silence.

  “Honestly, I don’t either. Buck thinks he’s in love with her, and he’s under the impression that she loves him too. Is that the craziest thing you’ve ever heard? You guys know Buck as well as I do. He doesn’t suffer fools, so it’s hard for me to imagine that he could have been so easily duped.”

  Logan filled them in on the rest of the story, then sat back drained, waiting to hear their thoughts.

  Garrett was the first to speak. “Like you said. Buck isn’t some gullible idiot. Do you think maybe she really has changed?” Garrett held up a hand against the look Willow shot him. “I know, it’s hard to imagine. I was here too; I’m aware of what took place last year. But a lot can happen to a person in eighteen months. Is it possible that she had an epiphany? You’re a pretty good dude, Logan. Could she have realized that a life without her son wasn’t worth all of the money in the world?”

  Logan pursed his lips. “You don’t know how badly I want to believe that. It crushed me that she dropped off the face of the earth after I lied to her about the DNA results. Despite all of her faults and the mistakes she made when I was growing up, this is the first time she ever abandoned me. It showed me that I was worthless to her without the money. I don’t know if I can get p
ast that.”

  Willow reached over to take Logan’s hands in hers. “You do what is best for you. Buck will just have to understand. If you aren’t ready to have her in your life, that’s your prerogative. We support you no matter what. We are your family, no matter what.”

  Logan squeezed his sister’s hand. “Thanks. I know that, and I’m so lucky to have you. I’ll give it a day or two to sink in and decide how to handle it. The last thing I want to do is make a snap decision when my friendship with Buck is on the line. Ironically he’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father figure.” He paused. “Which makes this whole thing that much weirder.”

  Garrett shook his head in disbelief. “You certainly have a few irons in the fire, my man. Take all the time you need. You’ll make the right call. I’m sure of it.”

  Willow stood and kissed Logan on the cheek, leaving the men out on the porch to visit. By the time they’d finished talking, the moon was high in the sky and the air had cooled off considerably. Logan said good night to Garrett around midnight and started walking home. He pulled his phone from his pocket and was surprised to see several texts from Laina. Checking, he noticed that his phone had been on silent.

  Laina: Just got home. Thanks for lugging my suitcase upstairs.

  Laina: Just saw your note. For the record, you didn’t forget to tell me. And I love you too.

  Laina: You must have crashed early. I’m exhausted too. Lights out. See you in the morning.

  He’d started to answer her but saw that her last text had come through forty minutes earlier, so he decided to let her sleep. He’d get her opinion on things in the morning.

  Laina’s phone woke her up before seven. She blinked several times, trying to clear her cloudy vision, and reached toward the nightstand for her phone. Smiling, she read Logan’s text, inviting her over for coffee later that morning. She couldn’t wait to see him, and was about to get up and into the shower when she had an idea. She shot a quick text to Van.