Always Love You

by Shirleen Davies

  She had to find time to talk with him, try to find a way to sort through their past and decide if trying again was truly an option for them. She sighed, knowing she now faced a bigger hurdle than even an hour before.

  ******

  Eric didn’t go back to Blake’s room, deciding space and fresh air would do him more good than a closed room filled with family. Besides, his current mood didn’t lend itself to casual banter. What he wanted to do was slam his fist into a wall. Instead, he side-stepped a patient in a wheelchair and strode through the automatic doors to the parking lot. The cold, brisk air peppered with snowflakes slammed into him, stinging Eric’s face.

  He muttered a curse as he continued toward his truck. His desk remained piled high with folders of past, current, and proposed projects. A new intern would be arriving in the afternoon, ready and eager to begin her three month assignment in marketing. The following week he had a busy travel schedule. There’d be little time to focus on Amber and her interest in Dr. Newcastle. At least that’s what he told himself as he pulled into traffic. He’d push her out of his mind and concentrate on what he could influence, not what lay well outside his control.

  ******

  Appleton, Texas

  “Give me some good news.” Robbie took the steps two at a time into the house and slammed the door shut, letting one of the new prospects stand guard. Both Swinger and Joker had refused to leave until they’d identified three brothers to take their place watching out for him.

  “Followed him from the ranch this morning. He had a woman with him who fits the description of his old lady. They drove to the hospital and haven’t come out yet. Been two hours.” Swinger sat on his bike, turning his back to the cold wind. “He’s getting sloppy. Didn’t appear to be checking for anyone at all.”

  “Stupid bastard probably believes he’s safe,” Robbie smirked.

  “Good for us. Too damn bad for him and whoever he’s with when we grab him.” Swinger shifted on his bike, looking around and spotting a lone cop car a block away.

  “Keep watching him and see if there’s a pattern. Follow his old lady and any other women who come and go. We’re gonna take our time and do this right. No more screw ups.”

  “Hold on.” Swinger turned toward the entry door to see Kade and several others walk out together. They stood in a circle, talking for several minutes before getting into their own cars. “He just walked out with several others. I don’t recognize any except Taylor and his old lady, but I’ll find out who they are.”

  “Locate his place, see if we can grab him there.”

  “That may be hard. He lives on the ranch, and there’s only one way in and out from what I’ve seen. The road takes you within spitting distance of the main house. It would be almost impossible to get in and out without being seen.” Swinger turned away as Kade drove past him. Neither he nor Joker wore their colors and doubted the ex-DEA agent would connect them with Satan’s Brethren. For all Kade knew, they were just two citizens out for a ride.

  “Rent a car and drive in. If you’re stopped, tell them you’re lost but go as far as you can. I want to know every possible way to get to the son of a bitch or his old lady before making a decision on how to get rid of him. The man’s vulnerable.”

  “The rest are pulling out and headed in the same direction. I’ll get back to you.” Swinger slid the phone into his jacket and took off with Joker right behind. They stayed a good distance back, heading out of town toward the ranch. At the entrance, a couple of cars pulled in while others continued straight. Kade stayed on the road. The two bikers didn’t turn, Swinger deciding to find out where Taylor would lead them.

  All the cars pulled into a complex of office buildings a few miles from the ranch entrance. Swinger and Joker pulled to the side of the road and stopped, waiting until everyone had parked and gone inside before riding to the front of the building. He looked up at the name on top. MacLaren Enterprises, the same name as the ranch where Taylor worked.

  They rode to the house they’d rented on the outside of town, parking next to several other bikes. The owner insisted on a six-month lease for the several acre property with a large house, garage, and a couple of sheds.

  “What’s the word?” one of the other brothers asked as Swinger and Joker pushed open the door. They stripped off their citizen jackets, replacing them with their Satan’s Brethren cuts.

  “Got a good look at Taylor and his old lady. We spoke with Robbie. Joker and I’ll be renting a car tomorrow, making like we’re citizens, and try to find his house.” He looked at Joker. “Something nondescript, like one of those silver four-door boxes you see everywhere.”

  Joker just grunted. He hated riding in a car, didn’t even own one, the same as most of the brothers.

  “What do you want us to do? It’s fuckin’ boring sticking around in this old place.” The same man paced to the window, pulling back a curtain and glancing outside. “At least let us pick up some hardbodies to take away the edge. The boys and I know where we can find a couple who’d be more than willing.”

  Swinger glared at his fellow brother. He’d been a prospect until a few months ago, young and ready for action. He was also a hothead, tending to make rash decisions. At the same time, they’d been cooped up a few days now with little to do.

  “No girls from Fire Mountain. You want a couple whores, find them somewhere else, and make sure they get home. They don’t see how to get here, got that? Party all you want tonight but not so the cops get wind of anything. Afterwards, we stay inside for as long as it takes. No drinking or partying until the fuckin’ pig who’d betrayed Sonny is on his way to hell.”

  Chapter Eleven

  “Yes, Phyllis?”

  “The new intern is here to see you. Shall I send her back?”

  “That would be fine. Thanks.” Eric remembered meeting her once before Christmas, but didn’t recall a lot about her. Between holidays, travel schedules, and her exams, the internship would be getting off to a later start than normal. It suited Eric fine. He’d give her the same load and see how she handled it. He opened his door as she came down the hall.

  “Hello, Jillian. It’s good to see you again.”

  “Mr. Sinclair. It’s great to be here.” She flashed an excited smile at him.

  He let her pass by him, remembering the interview and her upbeat, friendly attitude. She’d worked her way through college as a waitress, preferring nights to a day job. Her references and grades were excellent, and if he recalled right, she’d grown up about forty miles away in a small ranching community.

  “Have you been able to find a place to stay in Fire Mountain?” Eric grabbed his folder on Jillian and the one he’d prepared listing her intern duties.

  “I thought I’d stay at home and commute each day. It’s a little hard to rent a place for just three months and a motel room is too expensive.” She fidgeted with the strap on her purse as she spoke.

  “You live, what, thirty or forty miles from here?”

  “Almost forty. But it’s fine. There isn’t much traffic.”

  “Tell you what, let me check to see if we might be able to come up with something a little closer that might suit you.” He picked up the phone and dialed Phyllis. “What’s the status with the employee apartments? Good. Put one aside for Jillian until June. Thanks.”

  “The company keeps a few apartments available for employees and interns. They’re clean, furnished, and about fifteen minutes from here. You only pay utilities, no rent. What do you think?”

  “That would be wonderful.” She beamed at him.

  “Good, then let’s get to business. Afterwards, Phyllis will get you a key and give you directions.” He slid the folder over to her and went through her assignments until a knock on the door interrupted them.

  “Oh, sorry. I’ll come back later.”

  “Wait, Amber. I’d like you to meet Jillian Walker. She’s my new intern. Jillian, this is Amber Anderson, the Director of Marketing, the woman I told you about.” He
returned his gaze to Amber. “I have a heavy travel schedule for the next couple weeks, so Jillian will be working with you in my place. I’ve gone over her assignments and what she’ll need to do. We’ve set up daily phone calls, and of course, I’ll be available by email and conference call whenever you need me.” He ignored the stunned look on Amber’s face and continued. “In fact, now might be a good time for you to bring her up to speed on what you and I’ve been working on.”

  Her brows scrunched together before she recovered, plastering a smile on her face. “That would be fine. I wonder if I might have a few minutes with you before then.”

  He glanced at his watch. “I have a couple of meetings, then a dinner to attend. Would tomorrow morning work or is it critical to see me now?” He expected the chilled expression she sent him, then marveled out how fast she recovered.

  “No, tomorrow is fine. I’ll have Phyllis put me on your calendar. Why don’t you come with me, Jillian? There’s a lot going on and I don’t want to hold Eric up.” She shot him a pointed glare, knowing full well he was putting her off in his most gracious, condescending way.

  She felt terrible about the way he’d left the hospital, thinking her and Dylan had something going. Eric had caught her off guard when he’d confessed to still loving her. It had been the last thing she expected, but then, she’d never expected him to kiss her senseless or her reaction to him after all these years. Her mind had gone blank, and looking back, she knew they would’ve ended up in bed if he hadn’t made it clear anything more would be a mistake.

  Then he’d opened up, crushing her understanding of their split. He might have cut her heart out that day, but now Amber realized, she’d done the same to him. Their selfish, immature responses may have cost them years of happiness, and now she hoped to find out if he meant what he said about second chances.

  She’d stopped by his office to ask him if he’d consider having dinner with her, see if they could still find common ground and a starting point to rebuild what they’d lost.

  Dr. Newcastle was a complication thrown in at the least opportune time. Besides being smart and a gentleman, Dylan Newcastle might well be the most physically gorgeous man she’d ever met. Amber hadn’t realized what a good sense of humor he had until they’d had coffee at the hospital, and it surprised her how much she looked forward to the outing on Saturday. At least she had until Eric’s reaction to seeing them together.

  “Amber, wait up.”

  Jillian took a seat in Amber’s office as Eric came down the hall. “I’ll be right in, Jillian.” Amber turned toward him, her arms crossed over her chest. “Yes?” She arched a brow. He couldn’t be more wrong if he thought for a moment his pompous attitude would help get them back together.

  He slowed his stride, stopping a foot away, and slid his hands in his pockets. The determined, unapologetic look in his eyes warned her he felt no remorse for his behavior.

  “Do you have a minute?”

  She almost said no, then changed her mind. “Mitch is in a meeting. We can talk in there.”

  They walked into the office next to hers, Eric closing the door and leaning against it.

  “I wanted to thank you for taking on Jillian without warning. She’s a good kid. Just needs direction. I think the two of you will hit it off and she’ll learn a lot from you.”

  Amber waited for him to go on. When he didn’t, she stepped toward the door. “Sure. If that’s it, I’d better get started with her.”

  “Wait.” He pushed from the door and strode to the window, looking through the blinds to the darkening skies, then turned back toward her. “Look, I know the other night came out of nowhere. I hadn’t expected to say anything to you, at least not for a while, but it’s out there and I won’t take anything back. I realize you need time to decide if trying again is what you want. I already know my feelings, so it’s up to you. From where I stand, you seem to need space, even though it sounds odd to suggest that after all these years.”

  “Eric…” her words trailed off when he lifted a hand.

  “Maybe you do need to date, and Dylan Newcastle is a great guy. I wish he weren’t.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said the other night, and you may be right. If I’d listened, asked more questions, maybe we’d be together today, married with kids.”

  He shrugged, then stepped closer. “The reality is, I didn’t. So, I’ll wait until you’ve made a decision. My schedule is stacked the next couple of weeks and I’m out of town more than in the office. You’ll have plenty of time without me around to figure out what you want.” Eric lifted her chin with a finger and gazed into eyes he wanted to see each morning and every night. “I’ll accept whatever you decide. If you don’t want to try again, there’ll be no repercussions—at work or with family.” His mouth curved into a slight yet sad smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He dropped his hand and took a step back.

  If she thought it was the right move, Amber would’ve launched herself into his arms, yet she held back. He’d given her what they both needed—time to make the right choice.

  “You know we could decide to try again and it might not work out,” Amber whispered.

  “Are you afraid it won’t?”

  “Of course. Aren’t you?”

  This time he broke into an infectious grin which transformed his face. “Scared to death.”

  His smile and her nervous laugh broke the tension, and she reached out to take his hand.

  “Thank you for giving me a reprieve. I’ve never been the most spontaneous person, and this…” she waved her hand between them. “I just need to think it through.”

  He pulled her hand to his lips and turned it over, placing a warm kiss on her wrist, then on the palm of her hand, sensing the shivers which rippled through her. “I want you, Amber. Think about that while making your decision.” He turned and left, sucking all the air from the room as he closed the door.

  Amber took a few minutes to compose herself. He’d offered her everything she’d dreamed of since she’d left for New York. She’d fooled herself for years trying to believe he meant nothing to her. The last few weeks proved her wrong. Her love for Eric had never died—not even close. Then why hadn’t she simply told him yes, she wanted to try again?

  Fear. An emotion she’d learned to live with many times over since moving east. Fear of failing in New York—which she had, and then was given a second chance by a producer who hated her acting and loved her ideas. Marketing had become her passion and she’d put her heart into it.

  Life seemed good until her parent’s accident and the gut-wrenching sense of being unable to handle all of their needs. With her brothers, Ryan and Jake, still attending college at the academies, the decisions had fallen to her until her father had awakened from his coma and recovered enough to take over. She could still feel the fear which gripped her each morning when she woke, knowing any day she might be called upon to make the decision no one should have to make.

  She’d come through it to return to New York and a department layoff. The company she’d worked eighty-hour weeks to build, pulling all-nighters while caring for her parents, had brought in a national director who, in turn, brought in his own people. She left with fear the size of a basketball in her stomach and a fistful of glowing references.

  It had taken nine agonizing weeks to land the job in Denver. She’d interviewed for openings in Chicago, Kansas City, Dallas, and Denver, and been offered positions in two of the cities on the same day, choosing Denver.

  By that time she’d gone through a fifth of scotch and several bottles of wine while sitting around with her girlfriends on different nights in New York. They’d known of the gripping fear she tried to hide and would have none of it. Each had reached out to their contacts and helped her send out résumés, which led to interviews.

  Throughout it all, when her fears overcame her common sense, she’d envision Eric lying next to her, his strong arms wrapped tight around her, whisp
ering everything would be fine and he’d always be there for her, just as he had when they’d been together. Even though believing it seemed somewhat delusional, she drew comfort from the fantasy, and that comfort enabled her to move on.

  Now he’d walked back into her life, tempting her with a second chance. Amber had to decide if she could find the courage to trust him a second time and take a chance on turning her fantasy into real life, or walk away, never knowing what might have been.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Pull.” Eric saw the clay target fly through the air, moved the shotgun, and slapped the trigger, smashing the target into a hundred pieces.

  “That’s fifty straight—damn fine shooting. You want to go for an even hundred?” Kade asked. He, Mitch, and Eric had started their morning early at the rifle range before finishing at the skeet and trap range. All three had done well, with each besting the others at one point or another.

  “Why not? I have nowhere else to go, and apparently, neither do you two.” Eric grinned.

  “I finally get back in town last night and Brooke picks today to go shopping in the valley with Cassie and Lainey. She was out of bed before me this morning. There’s no justice.” Kade followed the others to the first stand, preparing to start another round.

  “Hell, man. At least you have someone to go home to. Eric and I have our TV dinners and beer.” Mitch dumped a box of 12 gauge shells into his vest.

  “Speak for yourself. I’ve upgraded to Italian takeout and fine wine.” Eric glanced at the darkening sky then shot a look at Mitch.

  “The hell you say. I bet you don’t own a bottle of fine wine.” Mitch’s smug expression belied the resentment he sometimes felt toward Kade. He hadn’t learned of the existence of his half-brother until a few months before. Of course, the news had been a shock to their father as well. Kade was the chronological winner by a few years, the offspring of Rafe and the woman he’d loved before meeting Mitch’s mother. It had been a bitch to man-up and accept Kade, and some days were rougher than others, but at least he tried. His younger brothers were still working through it.