Disenchanted

by L. D. Davis

  Marco inched closer to me. His brow creased with concern. “Why are you angry?”

  I wanted to tell him. I wanted to open my mouth and let all that was bothering me spill out, but I knew I wouldn’t be kind if I did. I would be hostile and nasty, because that was how I felt inside. Hostile, nasty, and hurt. My words would pour out of me like a cancerous cloud that would consume us both, and I just didn’t want that. I needed some time to analyze everything, to consider whether I was overthinking or if my suspicions about Marco were correct. I didn’t want to just lash out, go off all halfcocked.

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  We both knew I was lying.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Never in my life had I been so happy to get my period. Like, ever. I sat on the toilet with my hands clasped together as I stared at the ceiling and thanked whoever was listening. The last thing I needed was another surprise pregnancy in my life. I’d held my breath for the two weeks following my trip to New York and was finally able to let it out.

  “I love you,” I whispered to the tampon I’d just pulled out of the box. “I love you so much.”

  My mood was much lighter when I came out of the bathroom. Mom eyed me suspiciously when I joined her and the kids for breakfast. “Why are you so happy?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Her eyes narrowed, but I was saved from having to answer any of her questions when my phone rang. It was Marco. Since New York, we hadn’t talked as much as we usually did. He’d been deeply immersed in work, and I had finally found a part-time job at the bookstore I’d worked at before I had Amanda. I sat on a stool all day, looked up books for customers, and pointed them in the right direction. It wasn’t an anesthesiologist position, and I earned peanuts, but it was better than nothing. It was all I could do for the time being, until I could figure something else out.

  “Hello,” I answered around a bite of toast.

  “Good morning, Tesoro. Come stai?”

  “Sto bene. E tu?”

  He purred into the phone. “I love when you speak to me in Italiano.”

  “Mmmhmm. Well, calm down, Mangivitis. My mother and children are present.”

  He chuckled, and I smiled. I did miss talking to him like before, but the time and space had given me the breathing room I’d needed to gain some perspective. I was still working on it, but I felt a bit better about our relationship than I had two weeks ago.

  “Listen, love. I am at the airport, and there has been a delay. I’m not sure if I will get there in time, so I am going to arrange for someone to pick you up and drive you, and hopefully, I will meet you there.”

  “Okay, Richie Rich, but I still would like to know where there is.”

  “If I told you, you would not be surprised.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to be surprised.”

  “I want to be surprised,” Cora called out.

  Mandy copied her sister. “I be prised.”

  Gav rolled his eyes and shook his head, which made me laugh. The older he got, the less tolerant he was of his younger sisters. At the same time, he was very protective, always warning them against things that could hurt them.

  Marco heard the munchkins, the little cute traitors. “See, everyone wants to be surprised. Now let me say good morning to the children.”

  At twelve fifteen on the dot, a car service arrived to pick me up. When I asked the driver if he knew where I was going, he gave me an address, but I didn’t know what the location was. According to Google, it was a restaurant near one of the medical centers. I didn’t know if the location was supposed to be inspiring after our huge college talk over brunch, or if it was just coincidence, but I didn’t have a good feeling in my gut. Marco had been secretive before to surprise me, but this time felt different, though I couldn’t explain how if I had to.

  I’d dressed carefully, especially since I hadn’t known where we were going. I had on a pair of skinny jeans, a hunter green sweater, black flat-heeled boots, and the leather jacket I’d worn to brunch. Everything I had on, except for my underwear and bra, was purchased by Marco. This outfit was one of few from the closet in New York I felt comfortable in. The clothes fit me perfectly, but most of it made me feel like I was trying to be someone else.

  By the time we pulled up in front of the restaurant, I still hadn’t heard from Marco. I wasn’t sure if I should go inside and wait. What if he didn’t show up for hours? What exactly was the surprise supposed to be anyway? Surely, not the restaurant in front of me that looked more like a pit stop for medical staff. It was literally within spitting distance of the hospital’s front door.

  As I stood on the busy sidewalk deciding what to do, a familiar voice spoke up beside me.

  “Pardon me, miss. Can I buy you a drink?”

  My head snapped in his direction so fast that my neck cracked. “Ow!”

  I rubbed at it, wincing as I stared at the man in front of me.

  He shook his head and sighed patiently. “Move your hand.”

  Right there on the street, he put his hands on my neck, had me turn my head every which way as he felt around.

  “I think you’ll live.”

  I grinned from ear to ear as I stared at him, but was damn near speechless. “Adam. Wow. I mean…wow.”

  I was very surprised to see him, yet very pleased.

  “Hello, Lydia.” He pulled me in for a quick hug and kissed my cheek. “How are you?”

  “Uh, shocked. What the hell are you doing here?”

  He nodded toward the restaurant. “Why don’t we go have a drink and I’ll explain?”

  Hesitantly, I agreed and glanced around us. “Is Marco lurking about somewhere?”

  “No. Last I heard his flight had been delayed twice and finally canceled. He’s probably on another flight right now as we speak.”

  We went inside and took seats at the bar. For a good twenty minutes we talked about everything else except why he was there. I asked about Celeste and found nothing had changed there. He told me Aiko and Brodie were expecting their first child and that he was expecting a visit from his parents. I told him about my brief visit with my sister before I returned home two weeks ago, and how she sat with her laptop on her belly all day and watched everything that happened at her diner.

  Finally, I sought to sate my curiosity. “So why are you here? Not that I’m not glad to see you, but people like you don’t just pop up in Columbus.”

  He nodded slowly and seemed to be thinking about how to say whatever it was he had on his mind, which set all my alarms off. “I don’t know you very well, Lydia. What I do know so far is that you are stubborn and proud.”

  One of my brows went up. “Should I take that as a compliment?”

  “Yes, but I don’t want that stubbornness and pride to get in your way.”

  I gazed at him through eyes narrowed into slits, my suspicions high. “Get in my way of what?”

  He sighed. “I don’t agree with how this was done. I didn’t know that you were unaware of today’s events until this morning. I probably would’ve inadvertently given it away had I not been so busy. It’s a busy time of the year for me. Football season. I have high school and college kids in my office and on my operating table almost every day.”

  I shrugged and shook my head. “Adam, I still have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t agree with what? What is it that you were unaware of? What are you talking about?”

  His fingers drummed on the bar, and he took another breath. “Marco arranged for you to be seen by myself and an orthopedic surgeon here. In a strange twist, I do happen to know the other doctor. We met at a conference a couple years ago.”

  I blinked. Once. Twice. “I’m sorry. What now?”

  “When he came to me, I thought you had told him about our conversation at the party, and that the two of you talked it over. So I didn’t ask a lot of questions. He asked me when I’d be available for a consultation on the east coast, but I had just discovered that my
friend was practicing here. I knew it would be easier for me to come to you than for you to pack up your whole family and come to me.”

  I tried to let what he said sink in, but none of it did. It was like I had an invisible force field around my brain. The words just weren’t getting through.

  “Let me get this straight. Marco contacted you and…what? Set up an appointment for me?”

  “Yes,” Adam said carefully. “All expenses to be paid by him.”

  I stared at him as finally it began to sink in. “Did…did he say why he chose to do it this way instead of talking to me first?”

  “He said you haven’t been open to discussing your injury with him from the beginning. He also…” Adam trailed off and closed his mouth.

  My shoulders fell a little. “What? He also what?”

  He shifted uncomfortably and rubbed his temple. “Why do I feel like I’m about to be in the middle of a big fight?”

  “You won’t be in the middle. It’s not your fault, but I do want to know what else he said, Adam.”

  He blew out a long breath. “You’re going to take this the wrong way.”

  I only glared at him until he felt moved to speak again. It only took about thirty seconds.

  “He said he regrets not being able to do certain things with you because you are unable. There are things he likes to do or wants to do, but you can’t.”

  I seriously felt like I’d just been punched in the chest. It took me a full minute before I was able to talk without screaming, raging, crying, or all three.

  I was silent for a moment. When I spoke again, I did so quietly, my voice tight in a ball of emotion. “So, what he’s saying is I’m holding him back.”

  Adam sighed. “That’s not what I said. That isn’t what he said, either.”

  “But that’s what he meant, right?” I shook my head and awkwardly climbed down from the stool, snatching my jacket off the back.

  “Lydia, wait.”

  Adam was at my heels by the time I stumbled outside. It wasn’t hard to catch up to a cripple.

  I needed to go home, but my brain was malfunctioning, and I couldn’t think of how to do that. How did I get home? Ten years ago, I would’ve just walked or ran, but I couldn’t do any of that anymore, and Marco…

  My palm slapped against my head. I couldn’t even think straight!

  “Hey.” Adam grabbed my wrists to make me face him. “Hey, it’s not that bad.”

  “No, it’s a lot worse. Trust me on that.” I pulled out of his grasp and backed away several steps. “I want to go home.”

  He easily followed my erratic pacing, hands up, palms out. “I know you do. You’re upset, and you feel betrayed, but I flew all the way out here for you. I’ll gladly just go home if you truly don’t want to do this today, but Lydia, what can it hurt? What can it hurt to just run some tests and evaluate you? Remember all the things you said you would do if you had a fully functioning leg?”

  “Like drop kick someone in the face,” I said fiercely as I imagined Marco’s face meeting my foot.

  “Um, yes, but I was thinking more along the lines of you playing with your kids. Remember you said that? You would like to be able to run around with your kids again. I don’t know if I can make that happen. I can’t promise that I will, but I can promise to see if it’s possible and then do everything I can to make it happen if it is. What Marco did was…well, he had good intentions, but don’t come inside with me for him. Don’t even do it for yourself. Do it for your kids.”

  I stood there and just stared at the sidewalk for a minute. He was right. If I was going to fix myself for anyone, it would be for Gavi, Cora, and Mandy. No one else, not even for myself.

  “Okay. Fine, but I don’t want Marco to foot this bill. I’ll find another way to pay you back, and I don’t want him to know anything. He’s not allowed to know anything, Adam.”

  He nodded. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t get the bill, but I won’t send it to you, either, Lydia. Suck it up. By law he’s not allowed to know anything you don’t want him to, so don’t worry about that.”

  “But he’s your friend.”

  “If he’s really my friend, he won’t have me risk my license by being unethical and breaking a federal law. Don’t worry about it, though. No one will know any more than you want them to. Period.”

  I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Once they started, I knew they wouldn’t stop.

  “Okay,” I whispered. “Let’s get this done and over with.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Adam volunteered to drive me home. By the time we finished at the medical center and fought our way through the beginning of rush-hour traffic, it was after five. Cliff and Shawna had already picked up the kids, according to a text from my mom, and Marco was at the house with her. He’d tried to meet me at the medical center first, but Adam had convinced him to wait for me at home.

  “Would you like me to come inside with you?” Adam asked as we sat idle in front of my house. Marco’s rental was parked beside my mom’s car and behind the minivan that was rarely in use.

  I shook my head. “No, but thank you, and thank you for today.”

  “Today was only the beginning. You have a long road ahead of you if you choose to take it.”

  “I’ll think about it. When do you go home?”

  “I have the last flight out tonight. If you like, I can hang around for the weekend? In case you need a friend?”

  It was hard not to smile at him, even if it was a sad one. “I haven’t really had one of those in quite some time.”

  “I don’t see why that is. Your life is thoroughly entertaining when you aren’t all whiny and indignant, which you have been half the time I’ve known you. Therefore, your life is thoroughly entertaining at least half the time.”

  “You are my sarcasm soulmate.”

  “And I am also absolutely serious.” He held my gaze and spoke softly. “If you need me to stay close, I will.”

  I began to shake my head, but he held up a hand to stop my protests.

  “You don’t want to need anyone, but sometimes you just do.”

  I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Go home, Adam.”

  When I quietly entered my home, I heard my mom and Marco as they talked amicably. That wasn’t strange; they’d always gotten along well. Mom had loved him almost from the beginning. What was strange was that their voices were coming from the second floor. For about two seconds, I had the disturbing but unreal images of my mom and boyfriend doing the nasty in some kind of MILF fantasy. She wasn’t that much older than him. In fact, Marco was equidistant in age between me and my mom, but still, I didn’t think he was into grandmas, no matter how young they looked.

  Curious, I began to pull myself up the steps. I regretted it about halfway through. I hurt a little more than usual after my long afternoon with Adam and Dr. Snyder. X-Rays, MRIs, ultra sounds, and poking and prodding and twisting and turning… Seriously, Adam and Ray Snyder were fortunate I didn’t detach my leg and beat them both with it by the end of the day.

  I was still furious with Marco for going behind my back to make the appointment, but I’d been able to calm down since I first saw Adam at the restaurant. My plan, and hope, was to be reasonable and calm, and not be the raving lunatic I often was when faced with emotional drama. It was a good plan, one I never followed through with, though.

  When I finally reached the top of the steps, I realized Marco and Mom were in my bedroom. The door was open, and their voices floated out into the hall. I didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t what I found. My closet door was open, and half of Marco’s body was inside of it as he reached for something. With his head still hidden, he held out an old dress of mine. My mom took it, surveyed it, wrinkled her nose, and tossed it onto a pile on the floor. It was a dress I hadn’t worn in years. Honestly, I would probably never put it on again, but I felt as if my choice to wear it or not had been taken away.

  “What are you doi
ng?” My voice came out sharp and accusatory, making Mom spin around to face me with a hand over her chest.

  “You can’t sneak up on me like that, Lyd!”

  “Hey, there she is.” Marco grinned as he squeezed out of the closet and made his way toward me.

  “What are you doing?”

  I glanced at the pile of clothes on the floor, saw the full trash bag off to the side, and narrowed my eyes suspiciously on the clothes that were neatly laid out on the bed. There were tags, a lot of tags, with a lot of numbers behind dollar signs.

  Mom vibrated with excitement. “We wanted to surprise you.”

  “Yes, Adam was supposed to call when you were on your way,” Marco added.

  He reached for me, but his chest ran into the palm of my hand. He came to an abrupt stop, as if I could really do anything to hold him back. The light on his face all but slipped away as his gaze drifted down to my hand and then to my face.

  “I think I’ve had enough surprises for the day.” My eyes shifted between him and my mom. “What. Are. You. Doing.”

  My mother knew me well. She sensed the quicksand she and Marco were standing in, too late of course. Her enthusiasm faded to wariness.

  “We wanted to surprise you. Marco bought you more clothes.”

  “What’s wrong with the clothes I already have? We agreed in that snooty boutique that we would discuss this first.”

  My hand was still against Marco’s chest. He carefully covered it with his own and began to caress my skin. “I think you deserve an update.”

  I snatched my hand away and put a little more distance between us. He was trying to soothe me into compliance, and I wasn’t having any of that.

  “Some of this stuff is from ten years ago.” Mom gestured to the pile on the floor. “There are things in there that have layers of dust on them because they’ve gone unworn for so long.”

  I hobbled to the heap of clothes, plucked up a flannel shirt, and held it to my chest as if to protect it from them.