To Live and To Love (Black Wolf Agency Book 1)

by Jessica Swan

  “Yes, but I’m fine,” he insisted. “It’s not bleeding badly. I’ll be okay.” At least, he hoped. “It’s you that I’m worried about.” He played it off like it was nothing, but he had a hunch what a bite from that creature would do to him.

  “I’m fine. He didn’t bite me. However, when he bit you, he may have…” she started, unable to finish her sentence. “There’s only one way I can save you from this. I’ll have to suck on the wound to try to get the contaminants out of your blood before it’s too late.”

  “Uh, what are you talking about?” James said and pulled his arm back.

  “They have an enzyme in their saliva that can change you, and since he broke the skin with his teeth, you’re in danger,” Kate frantically explained.

  “Well, screw me sideways, are you kidding me?” James asked, looking from his arm to her face and back again. He felt a little sick.

  “James we don’t have time to talk about this. It’s either I try, or we take a chance.” Kate said briskly.

  “Go ahead, I trust you,” he told her. He was more afraid of what was in his blood, than what she could do to him.

  She pressed her lips to the bite on his arm and, without using her teeth, she sucked on it. Only a few seconds later, she jumped back, hissing loudly, her fangs bared.

  “I couldn’t do it any longer. I’m afraid I’ll kill you,” she said, closing her eyes in shame. She just couldn’t bring herself to tell him how good his blood had tasted to her, or how hard she was fighting, at that very moment, to keep herself from drinking more.

  “Did you get all of it?” he asked, still worried. He couldn’t help but think, ‘Gosh, could this get any worse?’

  “I believe so, but only time will tell. I’ve done this once before and was successful then, so your chances are good.” God, how she hoped she was right.

  “That’s good,” he sighed in relief. “In all my time working at Black Wolf Agency, I’ve never seen one of those creatures before. Is he what I think he is?” He knew what the creature was, but how he wished Kate would tell him differently.

  She sighed, walked up to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Then, while looking into his eyes, she answered his question. “Yes, he’s a werewolf.”

  A New Unknown

  ~ Chapter Four ~

  “A werewolf,” he said, as if someone else was saying the words coming out of their mouths. It was as if he had just been sentenced to death. He looked down at the ground for a moment, his mind overwhelmed, as everything began to sink in. If Kate wasn’t successful at getting the contaminants out of his blood, he would become a werewolf. As he looked up at the sky, he thought, ‘Just freaking great, what next?’

  “I’m so sorry! I should’ve protected you, but instead, you tried to protect me and got bitten in the process. I wish things had gone differently,” she told him as tears started to fall from her eyes and trail down her cheeks.

  He sighed, pulling her close, and wiping the tears away gently with his finger.

  “Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he said with a worried smile. “I wouldn’t take back what I did, even if I could. I love you, and I will stop at nothing to try to protect you.”

  “But James, you’re human and I’m a vampire. There’s no changing that. You’ll only end up getting killed by trying to protect me.”

  “Listen to me, Kate,” he said, gripping her shoulders gently, while looking into her eyes. “If anything ever happened to you, I would no longer have a reason to live.”

  “And how do you think I feel?” she cried. “It took me three-hundred years to find you, my soul mate. If I die, you could probably bring me back to life again. But if you die, you’ll most likely be gone forever. I don’t know if the Resurrection Amulet works on humans.”

  “Well, we’re safe now,” he said, forcing a smile. Even though he was worried, he still had to try to reassure her. “Let’s go home and see what happens. I bet everything will be just fine.”

  She nodded and smiled; wrapping her arm around him and holding him close all the way back to the apartment. She sure hoped all would be right, but she just didn’t have that warm fuzzy feeling.

  When they got home, she cleaned his bite wound and treated it with an antibiotic ointment before she wrapped it up with some gauze. When she was finished, he took her hand, led her to the couch in his living room, and sat her down.

  “Sit and relax. I’ll be right back.”

  She watched him go to the kitchen and get out a bottle of wine and two glasses, which he returned to the couch with, setting them on the coffee table in front of them. He then filled both glasses and handed her one.

  “Thank you,” she said, taking a couple of sips. He took a sip from his glass of wine, wishing he had something a hell of a lot stronger.

  “There’s no need to thank me, honey. What’s mine is yours,” he said with a smile, leaning toward her and kissing her softly on the lips. When he started to pull away, she grabbed him and pulled him close, kissing him deeper. He kissed back with an equal amount of passion as he laid her down on the couch and leaned over her, their lips never parting.

  She loved when he did this, when he took control. However, this time was different.

  He began kissing slowly down her neck toward her collarbone while he held her arms over her head, restraining her. ‘Oh, yes, this is definitely one of my favorite things he does,’ she thought, moaning softly in pleasure.

  Then his sudden force took her by surprise, and before she stopped the word from escaping her mouth, she said, “Ouch!”

  He sprung up to a sitting position, with a shocked look on his face. ‘There’s no way I could have hurt her, is there?’ he thought. “Are you alright?! Did I hurt you?”

  “Um, no, I’m alright,” she replied, absentmindedly rubbing her wrists where he had gripped too tight. This is definitely not normal for James or any human to be able to hurt her.

  “Did I hurt your wrists? I can’t believe I did that! I’m so sorry, honey,” he said, gently holding her hands as he studied her wrists. They appeared to be fine, but were still a little sore. If she was human, she knew they would be red right now and would form bruises later on.

  “I’m fine– I’ll be fine,” she said, still wondering how that had happened. Anytime he did that before, no matter how much force he used, he never hurt her. Then, it occurred to her. She didn’t know for sure, but this must be one of the early stages of a werewolf conversion. For now, she would try to ignore it, in case she was wrong or simply imagining things after their traumatic experience earlier. Pretending to be clueless, she said, “I wonder what happened.”

  “I don’t know, but, just to be safe, I don’t think we should do anything right now. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Oh, yes, we should,” she interrupted, kissing him again. She knew she had to get him to continue or the fear of hurting her would start to eat at him; he was so protective of her.

  When their lips parted, he took his glass of wine, drank the whole thing, and set it down.

  “On second thought,” he said, taking the bottle, which was still halfway full, and drinking a good portion of it. He knew he was going to need a little liquid courage to continue. Perhaps it would relax his nerves as well. “It’s been quite a night so far, and after all that’s happened, it could get a lot worse.”

  She took the bottle from him, drank about half of what remained, and added, “I’ll drink to that.” At this point, she would drink to anything to try and erase some of the things that went on this evening, even if it was only temporary.

  With all that had happened, and all that was going to happen, to lose themselves in each other was exactly what they needed to do. With that one thing on their minds, the happy couple made their way to the bedroom together.

  There was a strange taste in James’s mouth. It didn’t take him long to realize that it was blood, but whose blood? He rolled over and found that the place next to him in bed was empty.


  Concerned, he got up and walked to the other side of the bed, finding Kate’s body lying on the floor, lifeless. He rushed to her side and pulled her close, hoping she was only unconscious.

  “No, please, no!” he said frantically, looking her over. Her body was completely limp and lacking of all color. When he turned her over, he saw that the front of her body was soaked in blood, originating from a large, fatal bite wound on her throat.

  “NO!!!”

  He woke up screaming, covered in sweat and shivering.

  “What’s wrong, my love?” she asked, her sweet, loving voice helping to bring him back to reality. She knew if her heart was beating, hearing his scream would have made it skip a beat.

  He looked at her and forced a smile, letting out a sigh of relief. There was no way he could tell her about this dream. It had really frightened him.

  “A nightmare. It was just a nightmare,” he said, still breathing heavily, his heart pounding in his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

  “You’re really hot,” she said, holding her hand to his forehead. “I think you have a fever.”

  “I’m freezing. What time is it? I don’t want to be late for work.”

  “It’s 3am, honey, and you’re not going to work today. Have a little common sense. I’ll call Yvonne in a little while and tell her you’re sick.”

  “Thank you, sweetie,” he said, lying back down and going back to sleep immediately.

  Kate couldn’t sleep any longer, so she lay next to her lover in bed and watched him sleep for a while. It hurt her to see him like this, tossing and turning and cringing in his sleep. He mumbled something a few times, and she could’ve sworn she heard him say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Kate.”

  Kate knew he would never intentionally hurt her. She knew last night was just an accident. He was being too hard on himself. He had no control over what was happening to him, but she knew even if he hurt her by accident, he would never be able to get over it.

  In all her years of existence, Kate had only encountered werewolves three times, and once was when one of her human friends was bitten by one, simply because she got between Kate and the werewolf. Luckily, Kate was able to get all the toxins out of her blood. How come she couldn’t do that for James, the man she loved? It was because, with her friend, she didn’t hold back, and she had nearly killed her in the process. Kate didn’t want to take that chance with James. Only one thing was going through her mind during that moment when she was trying to help him; he’d be better off as a werewolf than dead.

  James: a werewolf. It was almost unbearable to think that James was becoming one of them, a sole predator of vampires. No other species in existence had the speed or strength to hunt vampires, except for these creatures. They were thought to be rare, because, contrary to human legends, their goal was to never attack humans, or bite them against their will. They also blended in so well with the public because they had a human appearance normally and could shape-shift into wolf form at will.

  ‘But they do live forever,’ she thought.

  Her thoughts were interrupted when James began to stir from his sleep. When he looked up at her, she noticed he was pale, clammy, and was still shivering. She reached to the foot of the bed and pulled the comforter over him.

  “Hello, beautiful,” he said, smiling, despite his discomfort.

  “Are you feeling any better?” she asked, even though she knew what his answer would be. She reached out and softly brushed her fingers through his short, dark hair, feeling that he still had a high fever.

  “No, but thanks for asking,” he said, closing his eyes and leaning his head toward her hand. “Do you have any idea how long this will last?”

  “No, I’m afraid not.”

  “I feel like I’m dying. Am I?” he asked, even though he was thinking, ‘Shit, maybe death would be better than what I’m going through; my body’s burning up, but I can feel my teeth chattering, and my head feels like it could explode any minute.’

  “No, sweetheart.”

  “Then why are you crying?” he asked her. She wasn’t even aware of the tears that were falling from her eyes. “It’ll be alright.”

  “I hope so, mon cher. I hope so.” She was so worried about losing him; she hadn’t even realized she was crying.

  She looked at the clock. It was 5am, about time for her to call Yvonne and let her know that James wouldn’t be making it to work that day.

  “It’s time for me to call Yvonne. I’ll be right back.”

  “Thank you, honey,” he said, trying to smile again, but his eyelids were so heavy. He was asleep before he knew it.

  ‘Good, hopefully the more sleep he gets, the quicker his fever will go away,’ she thought.

  Kate picked up the phone and dialed Yvonne’s office at the Black Wolf Agency. She picked up on the third ring.

  “Good morning, Yvonne,” she said, trying to keep her tone cheerful, but failing miserably.

  “I’d recognize that beautiful accent anytime,” she said cheerfully, a little too cheerfully for Kate’s current mood. “Good morning, Kate. Is everything alright?”

  “No, actually, James is really sick and won’t be able to make it to work today.” If only the woman knew the reason. “He has a high fever and chills. I don’t know if he’s even capable of standing up right now.” Hell, even if he could; he wouldn’t be able to walk. She felt so bad for him; she wished there was some way she could take his pain away.

  “Oh, no!” said Yvonne, her tone of voice indicating that she was genuinely concerned. “I hope he feels better soon. Tell him to take all the time he needs. He can take tomorrow off also, if he needs to. Kate, you call me if you, or he needs anything, okay?”

  “Thank you for being so understanding, Yvonne. Yes, I will call if we need anything. You really are a sweetheart.”

  “You are, too. He’s lucky to have someone like you. I’m sure you’re taking excellent care of him.”

  “Thank you, and yes, I am,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. Kate really hoped she was doing everything for him that she should be.

  “Have a good day, and please tell him I wish him a speedy recovery.”

  “I will. You have a good day, too, Yvonne.”

  Kate hung up the phone and went back into the bedroom to find James fast asleep, no longer tossing and turning. She decided to lie back down in bed, knowing that he’d want her there by his side. She stayed there for another hour before deciding she could be of more use helping him out with some chores around his apartment for a bit. He really did need help around here. Men just don’t clean as well as women.

  “Hello, sleepy,” said Kate’s sweet voice before James even opened his eyes. She must have been nearby and noticed him waking up.

  “Hi, beautiful,” he said with a yawn. She reached over and felt his forehead.

  “You’re a lot cooler,” she announced with a bright smile. “That’s great! How are you feeling?”

  “A lot better, thanks. I’m just a little hungry, that’s all. What time is it?” he asked, sitting up.

  “It’s 6 o’clock.”

  “I guess I didn’t sleep that long after all.”

  “No, honey, it is 6pm. You slept all day.”

  “Oh, my! I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You were really sick. You needed the rest. Besides, I got some things done around here while you were sleeping.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, I did. I wanted to help out,” she smiled.

  “Thank you,” he smiled back.

  “Do you remember anything while you were sick?”

  “To tell you the truth, I don’t remember much. I just remember you being here with me. That nightmare I had; it was so horrible.” He shook his head and tried to think of something else. “Was Yvonne okay with me taking the day off?”

  “Yes, and she said she hopes you feel better soon and to take all the time you need.”

&nb
sp; “That’s good, thank you,” he said, smiling as he leaned forward to kiss her. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, honey. So, what do you feel like eating?”

  “A big piece of meat,” he answered honestly. In fact, the thought of a large piece of steak made his mouth water. He realized at that moment that he wasn’t just a little hungry; he was starving. “I think there are a couple of steaks in the fridge.”

  “Alright, that sounds good, actually. I’ll go cook them.” Kate’s mouth watered at the thought of eating a rare, juicy steak. Her desire to eat human food was yet another unique feature about her that didn’t apply to most other vampires.

  “No, Kate, I can’t have you cooking for me.” He went to stand up, but she gently pushed him back onto the bed.

  “I insist.” She gave him a devilish grin and strolled over to the bedroom door. He started to follow her, and she turned around and asked, “How would you like it done?”

  “Rare, please.”

  “I was afraid you’d say that, wolf man,” she sighed and then headed toward the kitchen. He continued to follow her.

  “You know, last night I felt like shit, but now I feel fine, actually better than fine. How can I be a werewolf if I feel completely normal?” he asked with a laugh. In fact, other than the fever he had before, he felt perfectly fine. After he woke up and realized he felt normal again, he tried to put the whole werewolf thing out of his mind. If he were a werewolf, wouldn’t he feel different now?

  “That’s just it; you already became one. What you went through last night was only the transformation process. I heard it is normal for someone to go through that and feel fine afterward. I bet that bite wound of yours is healed by now, for one.”