Curveball (Barlow Sisters Book 1)

by Jordan Ford

  “Hey.” He stops beside me, shrugging out of his jacket and attempting to wrap it around my shoulders.

  “I’m fine.” I gently push him away, hating the burn in my chest. “Why did you follow me? You’ll only make it worse.”

  “I can’t stand this. I hate that you’re mad at me. We need to talk.” His voice is soft yet commanding, spinning my body around before I can stop it.

  I drink him in, loving how the outside lights highlight his gorgeous face. Biting my lips together, I muster my waning strength and manage to whisper, “I’m not mad at you. And talking won’t change anything. We need to stay away from each other. It’s too hard…you’re too tempting. I can’t be around you.”

  “How is that fair?” He steps into my space. “We like each other.”

  “It’s not about fair, Holden,” I snap, rubbing my arms to ward off the chill. “You shouldn’t have asked Chloe to the dance. But you did. And now we’re here, and the only way to move forward is to pretend that we mean nothing to each other.”

  His look is so pained…and beautiful.

  He likes me.

  I mean something to him.

  My chest constricts into a tight knot as he gently brushes his fingertips down my face. “I’m sorry I screwed up. If I’d known how awesome you were, I wouldn’t have been such a dick.”

  I can’t help a soft snicker as I lean away from his touch.

  “Truth is, I liked you from the start. It just took me a while to figure out what the feeling was.”

  “We can’t.” I shake my head, trying not to be softened by his sweet words. “We just…we can’t.”

  “Please, I—”

  “No!” I push him away again. It hurts, but I have to. “Come on, Holden, you’re good at pretending. Just forget that you like me. Move on. There are so many girls at school who want to be with you. Chloe, for one.”

  “No offense, your sister is sweet and gorgeous, but I don’t want her. You’ve ruined every female at Armitage High for me. I can’t move on and just forget.”

  I fight a grin, tipping my head and flashing him a little of what I’m really feeling.

  He smiles at my expression. It’s heart-melting.

  Which is why staying out here talking to him is so dangerous.

  Especially when he gets in my space, leaning his forehead against mine and whispering, “I want to be with you.”

  “Sisters before misters,” I croak, softly pushing him back. “It’s the way it’s gotta be.”

  His expression tightens as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “My brothers would never do that for me—give up something they wanted just to make me happy. Our family doesn’t work that way.”

  I wince at the sadness in his voice and have to cross my arms to stop myself for reaching out to touch him. “Look, I know this sucks, but I love Chloe, and my relationship with her has to come before you. I screwed up, but I’m never going to stop trying to fix things with her. Even if it means turning my back on…on you.” My voice breaks and tears scorch my eyes. I clench my jaw, sniffing sharply to stop them from falling. “We better go back in.”

  I pull my shoulders back and walk away from him before he can say anything else.

  Speeding around the corner, I nearly take Chloe right off her feet.

  “Whoa.” I snatch her shoulders before she can fall. She steadies herself by grabbing my elbows.

  I don’t know what she’s just heard, but the fact that she’s looking at my face and not running away has to be a good sign, right?

  Her sad gaze flickers with a smile that drops away as Holden appears behind me.

  He jerks to a stop and looks between us.

  “I don’t want to go to the dance with you anymore.” Chloe loops her arm through mine. “I’d rather go with my sisters.”

  After a beat, Holden gives her an apologetic smile. “I think that’s a really great idea. Sorry for messing with you, Chloe. I was in the wrong.”

  “Yeah. You were an asshole.”

  I cringe while he nods.

  “Stay away from me and my sisters, heartbreaker. We don’t need you.” Chloe’s voice is soft yet brutal.

  I try not to let it show how much those words hurt me too.

  Smiling down at her, I squeeze her arm and murmur, “Let’s go, sis.”

  She nods and we leave Holden standing by himself.

  When we reach the table, Dad is going on about Max and her baseball brilliance. My sister’s face flashes with relief when she sees me. Bulging her eyes, she quietly orders me to sit the hell back down.

  “You okay?” I whisper, grabbing my napkin off the table and spreading it across my lap while Max nods. It’s a stiff, tight gesture that I don’t believe.

  “She’s going to win the season for your Pitbulls, just you wait and see.” Dad grins down the table at us, his chest puffing with pride while Mayor Carter launches into a spiel about his amazing son’s pitching ability.

  Holden’s cheeks flare red as he sits back down. He’s nice enough to avoid eye contact. Chloe’s words obviously got to him.

  I try to do the same and be strong the way my sister needs me to be, but I can’t help stealing glances in his direction, especially when his mother manages to knock over her glass of wine. Before even mopping up the mess, she’s calling the waiter over to order a refill. Mayor Carter acts like it’s normal, laughing and patting his wife’s knee while my mother cleans up the table.

  Holden looks like he wants to be sucked into a black hole as he rises from his chair and goes to help. I notice him having a quick chat with the waiter. He gives his classic wink and I spot how different it is to the one he gave me at Cresthill. That one was soft and playful. This one is accompanied by a barely there smile that’s hiding the strain of what he’s feeling.

  Gripping my napkin beneath the table, I resist the urge to stand up and join him. I want to wrap my arm around him, offer to help take his mother home before she embarrasses herself.

  But I can’t do that.

  Because I have a younger sister who I adore.

  And she has to come first.

  30

  Paying For It

  HOLDEN

  It’s a bright sunny, Saturday—the last one in February. The sun is high in the sky and we’re getting ready for the first official game of the season. The Pitbulls are fired up and ready to go. It probably helps that the homecoming dance is tonight as well. We’re hoping to win big and celebrate even bigger tonight.

  Over the past week, things have kind of settled.

  Maddie and I aren’t hanging out, but she lets me catch her eye sometimes. We’ll give each other a swift, pained smile before going about our day, resigned.

  “Sisters before misters. It’s the way it’s gotta be.”

  I have to accept that no matter how much I hate it.

  At least Maddie’s started talking to me at baseball practice. It’s been intense this week, preparing for our first game, and her determination to win has made her guard slip. I’m not complaining. Fired-up Maddie is a storm I want to get caught in.

  She’s definitely looking happier and less stressed now that she’s resolved things with Chloe. I’m happy for them.

  It sucks for me. I’m still pining, but I’m doing a pretty good job of hiding it.

  Luke isn’t interested in my troubled love life. I think he kind of hates that I feel more than just plain old lust for a girl. He likes knowing I’m not tied up with a girlfriend. It makes me a free agent, flexible to hang out whenever. Both of us have no strings attached and we like it that way.

  I have to remind myself of that every time I see Maddie. Hopefully one day I’ll start to believe it.

  “All right, team. This is it!” Coach booms across the locker room. “This is our season. It’s gonna be our best one yet. You with me?”

  We all shout, “Go, Pitbulls!”

  “That’s right! Go get ’em.” Coach claps his hands and we file out to the field.

  Luke and
I are starting. He was actually going to play us for the whole game, but I had a quiet word with him and asked him to at least give Maddie some time off the bench. He told me if she could prove herself in practice, then he’d think about it.

  Thankfully she did, and he’s told me he’ll put her in around the third inning.

  Smacking my hand into my glove, I walk out into the sunlight and notice the inflated crowd. I guess they’re still curious about the sisters. Or maybe just Max.

  Turning to find her, I raise my chin as a way to say “Good luck.”

  She gives me a thumbs-up, her lips twitching with the briefest of grins. She must be in the zone already. I guess there’s a lot of pressure on her shoulders. Although we did win games before she came along, it is great to have an impact player on the team. These girls might just make this our best season yet.

  As we line up to sing the national anthem, I notice the guys on the other team checking out the Barlow girls and snickering amongst themselves.

  I break the rules and catch Maddie’s eye.

  She gives me a determined glare, her eyes narrowing with a message I am so on board with.

  We cannot wait to put these douchebags in their place.

  I grin at her and she gives me a wink. I know it can’t mean anything, but it still puts me in a good mood and I belt out the anthem with gusto.

  As I head to the mound, I am fired up.

  I pitch the best damn game of my life.

  When Maddie steps up in the third inning, we’re in sync. She’s signaling all the right pitches and I’m firing them down the line exactly as I should.

  “Strike! You’re out!” Those sweet words are repeated many times throughout the game.

  Maddie stands tall, her beautiful smile deflecting whatever the batter just said to her. It must have been insulting; I can tell by the look on his face. When he cast his eyes my way, I scowl at him, warning him to watch his mouth.

  He scoffs and shakes his head, whipping off his helmet and throwing it down when he takes a seat.

  Maddie runs over to me as the next batter walks to home plate.

  “I want to kick that guy’s ass,” I seethe. “What the hell did he say to you?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle.” She gives me a pointed look and I’m wooed once again by her strength. “Anyway, the guy who’s up now has been trouble all game. He’s the only one to put runs on the board.”

  “I know.” I nod and check the scoreboard, unable to help a grin.

  10–3.

  “They can’t beat us, though.”

  “I know.” Maddie nods. “But how satisfying will it be to completely take these sexist clump nuggets down? We’ve got two innings to go, and I don’t want them scoring one more run.”

  I love that fiery look in her eyes. “Okay, but this guy can read my fastball.”

  “Yeah, I know. He’s got a pretty good handle on your cutter too.”

  “Think I should go for the curve?”

  “Yeah.” She tips her head. “Although it’s not your strongest pitch.”

  I would have been insulted if she wasn’t so right. A spark of determination fires through me. “Let me prove you wrong, pretty girl.”

  Her lips twitch but she catches the smile before it can form. “Okay then, pretty boy. Show me that curve.”

  And there’s that wink again.

  Hot damn. If only I could have her.

  Gritting my teeth, I ignore the ache in my chest and clear my mind in order to prove my point.

  And I do.

  And it’s beautiful.

  We creamed ’em. Coach even put Chloe in for the last two innings and she was awesome. I congratulated her after the game. She smiled politely and then walked away. I cringed but then caught Maddie’s eye and winked, hoping to keep our game banter going. But she just gave me a glum smile and trailed after her sister.

  I guess it’s a game-only thing.

  Dammit.

  The guys are in high spirits when we reach the locker room.

  Some of them are singing in the shower while others are slinging jokes and flicking towels. One friendly tussle breaks out, causing a bunch of whoops and cheers.

  They don’t even have alcohol running through their veins yet.

  It could be a wild night.

  I shrug my jacket on and watch Luke messing around with Zane. They’re cracking up over something, talking trash about how many girls they’ll score at the homecoming dance.

  I’d usually be right in the thick of it, making my claims and boasting about what a hottie I am.

  But I just can’t do it.

  I’d give anything to go to the dance with Maddie. She’ll be smokin’ hot in whatever she wears. Swaying on the dance floor with her in my arms? Now that would be a night worth boasting about.

  I picture myself walking into the decorated gymnasium, spotting the Barlow sisters. Maddie will glance at me with those sad eyes of hers. She thinks she’s hiding it, but I can see the longing every time she looks at me. Then Chloe will grab her attention and they’ll spend the rest of the night having fun together. They’ll dance. They’ll laugh. Shit, some guys will probably try to get it on with them.

  I can’t do it.

  I can’t go and watch that!

  “Come on, man,” Luke calls to me. “We’re going to Zane’s place until the dance. Thought we might throw back a few beers and play For Honor.”

  It’s tempting.

  But…

  I shake my head. “Not sure I feel like going to the dance tonight.”

  Luke looks to the ceiling. “Aw, dude, you’re killing me! Why not?”

  I shrug, scrambling for a plausible excuse.

  “Would you get over it already? So Chloe changed her mind. I thought you’d be relieved. You’re a free agent now. You can hook up with any chick you want to.”

  Not any chick.

  I purse my lips and slide on my cap. “It’s not that, man. I just thought, you know, maybe we could go to the water tower instead, or—”

  “No way.” Luke grins, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Velocity’s not playing tonight, which means Bess won’t be distracted with Cairo Hale.” He spits out the guy’s name like it tastes bad. “This is my chance to score and I’m not wasting it.”

  “You gotta come, man.” Zane slaps me on the shoulder. “Who knows? After the win and everything, those Barlow girls might be in a better mood.”

  “Yeah, maybe they could share you.” Luke snickers.

  Hot anger explodes in my chest and it takes everything in me not to deck my friend. I’ve let him in on minimal details, the ones that were impossible to avoid. He’s so freaking clueless sometimes.

  Zane gives me a confused frown and mouths, “Share you?”

  Clenching my fist, I paste on the kind of smile they expect from me and sell a lie I know they’ll snatch up.

  “I’ve got myself a better hookup waiting.”

  “Water tower, my ass.” Luke whoops. “You’re going to cougar town.”

  I nod, wiggling my eyebrows. “What better option is there?”

  Zane laughs and lightly punches my arm. “Hot dog.”

  I’m instantly relieved of the pressure to join them and force out a laugh.

  It makes me kind of sad to think that avoiding the dance so as not to torture myself won’t fly, yet hooking up with some older woman does.

  My friends really are shallow when they want to be.

  I swallow the thought, refusing to let my melancholy mood attack my friends. They’re good guys. Typical teenagers. I used to act like them all the time.

  Until Maddie got under my skin.

  It’s weird how things can change so fast.

  She’s been at this school less than two months, and already I’m pulling away.

  Maybe the change was brewing.

  Maybe deep down I’ve been desperate to step out and away from this life, and Maddie’s been the catalyst.

  Sliding into my car, I wave go
odbye to my friends. Luke honks and speeds away in his Jeep. He’s so freaking proud of that thing, in spite of how he got it.

  His parents split up about eighteen months ago. It sucked. Came totally out of the blue. His dad just split and hardly ever shows up to hang out with his kids.

  For Christmas, Luke was given the Jeep, and his little sister scored a brand-new bike and scooter, plus a set of roller blades she’d been pining for.

  They were all guilt presents, meant to woo the kids into still believing their dad gives a shit.

  He doesn’t.

  Luke hasn’t heard from him once since the Jeep arrived.

  Considering how much that must sting, Luke takes it like a champ. He’s doing his best to play big brother to his eight-year-old sister and to try to support his mom, but it must be tough going sometimes…not that he’d ever admit that.

  People in this town really hate owning up to the crap in their lives.

  We hide everything behind these brave smiles.

  But does it actually do any good?

  It makes me wonder how free Maddie must be, able to be herself wherever she goes. She says what she thinks and shows what she feels. There’s no hiding with her.

  I ease out of the parking lot and it only takes me a moment to decide which way to turn. I head for Cresthill. They’re not expecting me, but for once I’m not going there to volunteer. I just feel like hanging out with Grandpa.

  It’s late afternoon by the time I park my car. Dinner will be served soon enough, so I hurry in, hoping to catch Grandpa beforehand.

  I don’t know why I want to see him so bad. Maybe there’s just a simplicity here that calms me. I never have to hide from him, and I need that right now.

  The second I walk in the door, I greet the weekend receptionist. She doesn’t know me as well as Natalie, so she sends me through to Grandpa with minimal conversation. It’s kind of a relief actually.

  Knocking once, I ease the door open and find Grandpa by the window.

  There’s a book open in his lap, but he’s not reading it. He’s gazing out at the green shrubs, most likely thinking about his late wife, or trying to work out why his scrambled brain feels so fuzzy.