Heart of Clay

by Shanna Hatfield

  Chapter One

  Six and a Half Years Later

  Josh Carver kept an eye on the hay he swathed as it fed into the front of the machine. He loved the smell of fresh cut hay, loved to watch a field fall into neat windrows as he went through an honest day’s work as a farmer.

  The best thing he’d done was purchase the farm and leave his job in Portland as a luxury car salesman.

  Correction. The second best.

  The single best thing he’d ever done was convince Jenna Keaton to become his bride. It had taken no small amount of effort on his part.

  Even though she agreed to marry him, she quickly decided she would never, ever adjust to life as a farmer’s wife. She called off their engagement three times before Josh convinced her she could continue to work in the city. He promised to take her to plays and concerts. He even refrained from burning his suits so he’d have something to wear when they attended one of her aunt and uncle’s parties.

  After resigning from his position at the car dealership, he traded in his sports car for a new extended cab pickup and a used flat bed truck. Josh poured his savings into the land he purchased right after he proposed to Jenna.

  He added a shop so he could start making repairs and progress on the land. As soon as spring arrived, work began on the house. It was finished just a few months after their wedding before the first hard frost that fall. The next additions were a barn and storage shed followed by a hay shed.

  When the fifteen acres at the end of their road came up for sale, Josh purchased it, giving them nearly five hundred acres of hay and wheat ground as well as pasture for the herd of registered Hereford cattle he worked diligently to build.

  The business of farming proved to be more of an investment than Josh anticipated. Although he owned the land and structures, it took a sizeable loan to purchase the farm equipment he needed, and that was buying everything used. He started a custom haying business on the side. The income from that helped whittle away the debt.

  Before they wed, Jenna declared not one penny of her hard-earned money would go into the farm. She insisted they maintain separate banking accounts and nearly separate lives. She kept her apartment, refusing to leave until the new house was completely finished.

  If Josh wanted to see her, he did so on her terms. For months, he commuted to Portland, eager to be with his bride. The day they moved into the spacious new home, almost a year after he proposed, Jenna’s resistance to the farm began to waver.

  As Josh started spring farm work and tried to find ways to involve her, she became more interested in the farm. The newborn Hereford calf he gave her for Easter that spring obliterated her resolve to stay out of the farming business. She merged their accounts and, in so doing, finally committed to fully entwining their hearts and lives.

  Josh grinned as he thought about his wife. She’d gone from her manicured nails, high heels, and a fear of all things rural to being able to drive the tractor, set irrigation water, and wear ugly rubber boots and a ball cap without having a meltdown.

  Jenna learned to put up with the dust and dirt of country life and became a real help to him as he pursued his dreams.

  Not that she’d given up her own dreams. She poured herself into her career and it paid off. Recently promoted to a training and development specialist for the state, Jenna would travel extensively in her new career, visiting various branch offices throughout the state while training individuals and offering support services.

  Her first trip in the position was to Washington D.C. for three weeks of training before she assumed full duties of the new position. It nearly doubled her salary, but Josh wasn’t sure he could get used to her being gone so often.

  She was due back tomorrow afternoon and he’d missed her tremendously. Although she occasionally traveled with her former position, gone for a day or two at a time, he would never get used to having her away for days on end. Three weeks was approximately twenty days more than he wanted to think about her being gone. The house and farm seemed so lonesome without her there.

  He glanced across the road, proud of the house he built for his bride. Painted light tan with dark red shutters and white trim, the Dutch-gabled farmhouse looked homey and inviting with a deep porch and wide front steps. An attached garage kept Jenna out of the weather and her car relatively clean.

  When they moved into the house, Josh half-jokingly told Jenna he planned to fill every one of the upstairs bedrooms with babies.

  She glared at him as though he’d physically struck her. “No kids, Josh. I can’t do kids and a career. I just can’t,” she said and walked away.

  He supposed children, or her lack of interest in them, might have been a good topic to discuss before they got married. Nevertheless, he figured when the time was right, Jenna would come around. He’d been patient, waiting for just the right time to delicately broach the subject again, but in the past five years, the time hadn’t seemed right.

  Since they were both in their mid-thirties, he hoped to make some headway soon. However, Jenna’s new job would definitely put a damper on his baby-making plans.

  Lost in his thoughts, Josh jolted back to reality when the swather made a loud clunking noise, indicating a problem. He shut down the machine and climbed out of the air-conditioned cab, closing the door to keep the cool inside. It took him not time to dig out a plug then look to make sure everything else was in good working order.

  He found a piece of barbed wire wrapped around the sickle bar and gently tugged it loose. Annoyed, he wondered how many years it would take before he finally picked up all the junk the previous owners randomly tossed out around the place.

  One field on the back of the original homestead had been full of golf balls. He didn’t want to know how they came to be there, but his nieces, Audrey and Emma, had a great time running around picking them up in baskets like Easter eggs. He still occasionally unearthed one when he irrigated the field.

  Tin cans, metal scraps, and old appliances scattered across another field. He hauled truckload after truckload off as scrap metal before he could work and plant the ground. It was no wonder he got such a great price on the place.

  His family jumped right in and helped him clean up the unbelievable mess the former owners left behind. His sister, Callan, and her husband, Clay, provided hours and hours of free labor along with equipment borrowed from Clay’s parents who owned one of the biggest ranches in the area. Clay’s cousin, Jake, often came and lent a hand, as did Josh’s dad, Big Jim.

  Josh didn’t give too much thought to the fact his older brother, Bob, had yet to set foot on the place. Bob was nineteen years his senior and Josh had never liked or respected the man. The less he saw of Bob, the better. He and his wife, Donna, weren’t the kind of people anyone enjoyed being around.

  When Josh first introduced Jenna to his family, she and Callan hit it off immediately. Now, they were close friends and often planned fun activities together. Clay and Josh had been friends for years and, as Josh learned about farming, he appreciated the experience and wisdom his brother-in-law offered.

  Carefully climbing out from under the machine, Josh took off his ball cap and gloves, setting them on the swather step. He tugged off his T-shirt and wiped at the sweat streaming down his face and chest. It was certainly warm for early May. With a mild winter and an early spring, the hay had been ready to cut earlier this year than usual.

  Hot and thirsty, Josh wished he’d remembered to bring along something to drink. Rather than take a break, he decided to get back to work and finish this field along with one at the end of their road today. He wanted to have plenty of time to spend with Jenna when she arrived home.

  He swiped his soggy shirt across his face and looked across the road again. A profusion of colorful flowers bloomed in baskets hanging from the porch and in beds along the front of the house. He promised Jenna he would faithfully water her flowers while she was gone and so far had only forgotten to water them twice. Although he had farming
in his blood, Jenna had gardening in hers. He willingly gave her full credit for doing all the work in the yard that made their house an inviting home.

  Josh thought he might be hallucinating from the heat as a familiar figure walked across the lawn his direction.

  It couldn’t be Jenna. She wasn’t due home until tomorrow. Maybe he’d lost a day somewhere. He frantically tried to remember if he’d left any major messes in the house and concluded only his lunch dishes in the sink and yesterday’s dirty clothes on the bedroom floor could get him into trouble.

  Convinced he wasn’t seeing things and it really was his wife, he jumped over the fence and jogged across the road.

  “Babe.” His voice sounded husky as he swept Jenna into a tight hug and swung her around in a wide circle. He breathed in her warm vanilla scent, soaking in the sight of her. “I’m so happy to see you. You’ve been gone for half of forever.”

  Jenna laughed as he held her close, enjoying the feel of being in his arms again. There was no place on earth she liked better than in Josh’s strong and capable arms. Three weeks was too long to be away from him.

  “Oh, I bet you didn’t miss me at all.” She offered him a teasing smile when he finally set her back on her feet, feeling a little off-balance by his affectionate welcome. She inhaled his unique masculine scent, mixed with sweat and the smell of fresh cut hay. The combination was oddly appealing.

  “You have no idea how very much I missed you,” Josh said in a gravelly voice. He placed his hands on either side of her face and lowered his head, claiming her lips in a kiss that assured her how very much she was missed. “I love you so much. Always have, always will.”

  “Josh, what’s gotten into you?” She took a step back and tried to catch her breath as her heart began to beat in an accelerated tempo.

  Her training wrapped up a day early and she couldn’t wait to see Josh. She flew into Portland that morning, ran by the office to complete some required paperwork, stopped at the grocery store, then hurried home. As she drove down their road, she watched Josh climb under the swather. Hurriedly unloading the groceries, she traded her business suit for a T-shirt and shorts, made a pitcher of lemonade, and started over to see if he could take a break.

  When she walked across the front yard, she was surprised he jumped across the fence shirtless and hatless. She wouldn’t ever grow tired of watching him move and work. Swarthy was the word she often thought best described him. If he had a flowing white shirt, sash at his waist, and an eye patch, he could easily be mistaken for a swashbuckling pirate.

  Tall and muscular with olive-toned skin, broad shoulders, and narrow hips, she had mistakenly thought he was a dignified urbanite when they were dating. Little did she know that beneath those expensive tailored suits hid a finely sculpted body of someone accustomed to hard physical labor.

  Josh could be polished and refined when he dressed in his “city duds,” as he liked to call them.

  Despite what she thought she wanted when they were dating, she much preferred seeing him relaxed and at peace in the country. Jenna long ago decided that her husband was most wickedly handsome when he was dressed as he was today in snug jeans, shirtless, with scuffed boots.

  The swanky goatee he grew while she was gone pushed his raw appeal up to a completely new level and drew her attention from his bare chest to his chin.

  She took another step back to study it and tilted her head from side to side, trying to decide if she merely liked it or absolutely loved it.

  Josh caught her studying gaze and stuck out his chin, rubbing his whiskers with his hand. He turned his profile to her and smirked.

  “What do you think? Does it add to my dashing good looks?” He shot her a roguish grin.

  “You are too cocky for your own good, Josh Carver,” Jenna said in a feigned huff. “Just for that, you can get back to work while I enjoy a glass of cold lemonade.”

  Jenna turned and managed to take two steps toward the house before Josh grabbed her around her waist and swept her into his arms.

  “Not without me you don’t.” His lips plundered hers as he carried her into the house. He loved holding Jenna close in his arms every bit as much as she enjoyed being held close to his heart.

  After walking inside the front door, Josh set Jenna on her feet then stooped to pull off his boots in the foyer, leaving his soggy T-shirt there as well. He followed Jenna through the cool of the house to the kitchen, surprised to see a plate of sugar cookies on the counter along with two glasses.

  “Looks like you were expecting company,” Josh teased, raising an eyebrow at the treat. As he stepped over to the sink to wash his filthy hands, he noticed the trail of hay leaves and dust floating behind him. Shooting his wife a panicked glance, he started to backtrack and apologize but Jenna waved her hand at him.

  “It’s fine, Josh. Wash up and sit down. A little hay and dust won’t throw me completely off kilter.” Jenna smiled as she poured the lemonade.

  Surprised at her acceptance of the dirt, Josh washed his hands then sat on one of the swiveling bar stools. Jenna usually pitched a fit if he dragged any mess inside the house, but she didn’t seem concerned at all today. Maybe she missed him more than she cared to admit.

  “I want to hear all about your trip.” Josh leaned back and munched on a cookie. He listened to her talk about the training, the people she met, and places she visited. He sensed there was something she refrained from telling him, but she’d get around to it when she was ready. Josh glanced at the kitchen clock and decided he better get back to swathing. The afternoon was half-gone and he still had a lot of work to do.

  “Thanks for the break, babe.” Josh set his dirty glass in the sink and wrapped Jenna in another hug. “I’m so glad you’re home. If you want, I’ll take you out for dinner tonight.”

  “I think I’d rather stay right here, with you.” Jenna pulled his head down for a sizzling kiss that made them both struggle to catch their breath when they finally broke apart. “I can’t tell you how nice it is to be home. The peacefulness of your wretched farm has finally gotten to me. I’d forgotten how loud cities can be at night.”

  “That just goes to show what good clean living can do for you,” Josh joked as he walked back to the front door. While he tugged on his boots, she ran into their bedroom and snagged a clean T-shirt for him.

  “Your other shirt doesn’t look like it will make it through the rest of the day and we can’t have you showing off all your goods to anyone who might drive by,” Jenna teased, holding out the shirt, emblazoned with a logo from a popular implement dealer.

  Josh yanked on the shirt and smiled down at her. “Who do you think would drive by since we’re the only people who live on this dead-end road? I don’t think you’re worried about unexpected visitors. The problem is you’ve been gone so long, Mrs. Carver, that you’ve forgotten just how irresistible your husband can be. Admit it, you’re utterly overwhelmed by my dashing good looks and considerable charm.”

  “Oh, you conceited thing.” Jenna swatted the seat of his attractive posterior and gave him a shove toward the door. “Don’t you have some hay that needs your attention?”

  Before Josh sauntered out the door, he turned back and gave Jenna one more long kiss, their lips tasting of lemonade and sugar. “I love you, babe. Welcome home.”

  She watched him jog across the road and waved when he climbed back in the swather’s cab.

  Josh finished cutting the field just before dinner and called Jenna on his cell phone.

  “Hey, babe, can you come pick me up? I want to move the swather to the field across from the Harold place so it will be ready to go in the morning,” Josh asked when Jenna answered the phone.

  “Sure. I’ll be right there,” Jenna said. Josh heard the clatter of a lid on a pot in the background. “Just let me turn off the oven.”

  Josh drove the swather to a field at the far end of their property. The acreage he’d purchased at the end of the road belonged to a man named Henry
Harold, so now he and Jenna referred to property as the Harold place.

  In addition to the small acreage, it included a four-room house and a barn with a corral. When Josh got to the point he could afford a hired hand, he thought the house would come in handy. As it was, he hoped to hire some help for the summer and planned to discuss the possibility with Jenna.

  After shutting down the swather, he climbed out and walked across the culvert at the entrance into the field. He waited a few minutes for Jenna to arrive. When she failed to appear, he started walking toward home. Although it wasn’t quite a mile, he was tired and didn’t relish the thought of trekking home in the heat. He’d gone about a quarter-mile when Jenna charged down the road on their four-wheeler.

  The first time he tried to get her to drive it, she refused to go faster than ten miles an hour because it stirred up too much dust. Now, she drove it with dust billowing around her, as if she was in some kind of race and planned to win. She turned the four-wheeler around, stopped in front of him, and slid back so he could drive.

  “I thought maybe you forgot about me.” He looked over his shoulder at her as he shifted into gear and drove home. “Either that or you decided to make sure I was exhausted by the time I got in the door and too tired to consider any extra-curricular activities this evening.”

  “Neither one.” Jenna hugged him around the waist and scooted closer, resting her cheek against his back. “Callan called as I was walking out the door and I couldn’t hang up on her.”

  “Why not?” Josh questioned jokingly. “It’s not like the two of you don’t talk every day as it is.”

  Josh stopped by the back door and gave Jenna his hand as she climbed off the four-wheeler. He stepped off and stomped his boots to dislodge some of the dust then they walked into the mudroom. He removed his dirty clothes before entering the house.

  “Do I have time to take a shower?” He paused in the kitchen as Jenna washed her hands at the sink.

  “If you make it quick. Dinner is more than ready. I’ll have it on the table in a minute,” she said, hurrying to dry her hands and push a pan back onto a warm burner.

  “Quick, got it.” Josh hustled into their bedroom, jumped into a shower, and washed away the dirt and grime of the day. He might not mind being hot, sweaty, and dirty most of the time but he liked to be clean when he ate dinner and spent time with his best girl.

  In five minutes, he was back in the kitchen, dressed in clean jeans and a T-shirt, smelling of soap and his aftershave. Jenna wondered how he could have possibly shaved that fast and quickly looked to make sure he still sported the goatee. To her relief, it still beckoned to her. She might have to mention to Josh how much she liked it.

  After setting their plates on the counter, they sank onto the bar stools and Josh gave thanks for their meal.

  “So, what did that sister of mine want?” Josh asked as he picked up a piece of warm buttered bread and took a bite.

  “She had some good news.” Jenna turned to him excitedly. “Some very good news.”

  “Is it final?” Josh set down his fork and bread, looking at Jenna. “It’s all finished?”

  “Yes! The judge finalized the paperwork this afternoon. Isn’t it amazing?” Jenna sighed in happiness over the good news Callan shared.

  For the past sixteen months, Callan and Clay had been guardians of their two young nieces. They spent the better part of the last year trying to adopt the girls. The proceedings would have gone smoothly and ended quickly except for the involvement of Callan and Josh’s brother Bob and his wife. For unknown reasons, they fought the adoption every step of the way.

  Bob and Donna’s only child, Melanie, ran off with a drummer she met in a club in Portland. She left behind signed divorce papers as well as documents granting all parental rights for her two daughters, Audrey and Emma, to her husband. Ted tried to keep the girls for a few weeks but finally asked Callan and Clay if they would watch them for a while until he got back on his feet. Another month went by before he signed over parental rights to them and moved away.

  Callan and Clay were thrilled. Not that Melanie and Ted abandoned the girls, but that they would finally be able to give Audrey and Emma a stable home. Since they were unable to have children of their own, they had often taken the girls on fun outings or invited them to spend the weekend.

  Resolved to making the change permanent and legally binding, Callan and Clay filled out the necessary paper work to adopt the girls.

  With parental rights already signed over by both parents, it should have been a simple process, but Bob and Donna refused to let it happen. They didn’t want to care for the girls, but they were adamant that Clay and Callan not adopt them. For months, they’d been tied up in court.

  A few weeks ago, Callan and Josh’s dad, Big Jim, had a little talk with Bob and Donna. Josh wished he could have been present to hear what his dad said. Whatever it was, Pop must have driven his point home because Bob and Donna suddenly decided it would be just fine for Callan and Clay to adopt the girls.

  The judge made everything legal and official that very afternoon.

  Josh was excited for Clay and Callan, but also for Audrey and Emma. Melanie and Ted had been unfit parents in every way imaginable. Despite what he, Jenna, Clay and Callan tried to do to help the girls, he knew they would probably always have some emotional scars from the time spent with their natural parents.

  “Babe, that is awesome news,” Josh said, picking his fork back up and taking a bite of the casserole Jenna made for dinner. “We should celebrate this weekend.”

  “Callan is one step ahead of you, as always.” Jenna tossed him a saucy grin. “They’re planning a big barbecue at their place tomorrow evening and I said we wouldn’t miss it. Do you think we should get a little present for the girls?”

  “That’s a great idea.” Josh thought of ideas for an appropriate gift for two little girls who’d been awarded a new set of parents. Since he wasn’t that familiar with what little girls liked, he deferred to Jenna. “Did you have something in mind?”

  “I do, but I’m not sure we can find it in town. I may have to run into Portland to get it.” Jenna stirred the food around on her plate. Josh generally had too much work to do to run into the city for no reason and disliked shopping almost as much as attending one of her aunt’s lavish parties. “I don’t suppose you could take the day off tomorrow and come with me. We could have lunch and enjoy the day.”

  “Babe, I wish I could, but the hay won’t cut itself.” Josh watched Jenna’s big brown eyes fill with disappointment and changed his mind. “You know what, one day won’t hurt. I’d love to spend tomorrow with you.”

  Jenna’s eyes lit up and she gave his hand a squeeze. Leaning close to his ear, she kissed his cheek. “I’m so glad, Buck. I promise to make it worth your while.”

  Josh turned his full attention to his wife. She nicknamed him Buck, short for buccaneer, right after they wed. Once she’d gotten over the fact that he truly was not a city boy and had a bit of a wild rugged streak, she informed him he could have come right out of some pirate movie.

  One day, he’d have to find an eye patch and sword and see what she thought of that. In the meantime, he enjoyed hearing her use the name. She didn’t say it very often, but when she did, it always worked in his favor.

  As he offered her a slow, sexy smile, he let himself fall into the warm chocolate depths of her eyes.

  Jenna could feel the warmth start to pool in her belly and spread out to her fingers and toes when Josh turned the full power of his smile on her. She didn’t know if she could handle him with that goatee. Maybe she didn’t want to take him with her tomorrow. She wasn’t sure she could stand to see other women gawk at him all day.

  Intentionally ignoring her feelings, she took a deep breath and turned back to her rapidly cooling meal.

  “Eat your dinner, Josh. It isn’t going to get any warmer or better,” she said, taking another bite of the casserole.

  Josh continued
to stare at his wife, watching a blush color her cheeks and wondering what was going on in that pretty head of hers.

  It hadn’t taken him long in his role as a husband to realize that this woman’s thoughts would remain a mystery no matter how hard he tried to understand her. He was okay with that. It kept things lively and exciting.

  He returned his attention to dinner and asked Jenna more questions about her new job and upcoming travel plans.

  “I’m not scheduled to go out on the road for a couple of weeks. I guess they figure by then I should know what I’m doing,” Jenna said with a laugh. “Or at least that is the hope.”

  “You’ll do great.” Whatever Jenna did, she would do well and give it her best. “You’re extremely intelligent and very talented, so don’t sell yourself short.”

  Jenna gazed at her husband with love and admiration. “Thank you.”

  Her travel schedule was going to be hard on them both, but she appreciated Josh letting her follow her dreams. She knew he had some lingering guilt over dragging her out to live on the farm when she was a confirmed city girl. That guilt worked to her advantage because she did pretty much whatever she wanted with Josh’s encouragement and support.

  The truth of the matter was that she liked the farm and the country way of life. She loved how relaxed, open and real Josh was on the farm. In the city, Josh had been like an actor doing a splendid job of playing his part. Here on the farm, though, he was in his element. It was where he belonged and she belonged with Josh, wherever that may be.

  Since she worked in the city, she didn’t really miss any of the conveniences she thought she would. Josh still took her to plays, concerts, and museum exhibits on occasion. Once in a blue moon, they both summoned the strength and fortitude to attend one of Phil and Amelia’s parties, after which they would stop at their favorite steakhouse and enjoy a nice dinner.

  Jenna snapped out of her musings and noticed Josh began cleaning up the dinner dishes. She looked down at her half-eaten plate of food and realized she wasn’t hungry. As jet lag caught up to her, she was incredibly tired. She leaned her chin on her hand and watched Josh load the dishwasher, cover the leftovers and store them in the fridge, then wipe off the stove.

  He walked over to the counter and gave her a questioning look. “Don’t you feel well, babe?” After touching the back of his hand to her forehead, he decided she didn’t have a fever.

  “I’m fine, just tired. The time difference is starting to catch up with me.” Jenna covered her mouth with her hand, attempting to stifle a yawn.

  “Three hours difference can throw you for a loop.” Josh picked up her plate and scraped her uneaten dinner into a scrap bucket before setting the dish and her utensils in the dishwasher. He wiped down the counter, tossed the rag in the sink, and looked around the orderly kitchen.

  “Do I get a gold star for my exemplary efforts?” he asked, moving next to her barstool.

  She smiled warmly, gazing up at him with sleepy eyes. “Maybe two if you’re a good boy.”

  “Oh, I’m always good.” His deep baritone voice rumbled in his chest as he picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. “Very, very good, Mrs. Carver.”